tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1528510907038944744.post7946677622667616540..comments2023-09-24T11:26:16.606-04:00Comments on The Middle Ages: Dream A Little Dream With MeDeb and Barbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04444390852070865517noreply@blogger.comBlogger63125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1528510907038944744.post-25338016170133140292012-02-09T14:00:11.469-05:002012-02-09T14:00:11.469-05:00It's true Sarah, I have been seeing various th...It's true Sarah, I have been seeing various therapists most of my life for various reasons. From my refusal to talk as a six year old to losing my husband and it's true you might have to shop around to find one that fits for you but they are like anything else. Some are good at what they do and some aren't but the ones that let you tell your story and then help you put into perspective what you are feeling and why are the ones that know what they are doing. I wish we could all have a Dr. Phil at our beckon call sometimes.<br /><br />I know it's a scary prospect but don't take it off the table as a solution because I know you seek what we all seek in our lifetimes and that is peace so I pray you find it.<br /><br /> <3 MaryRickaman's Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08020933722154084356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1528510907038944744.post-40195114236410686272012-02-08T09:11:01.602-05:002012-02-08T09:11:01.602-05:00I know you're wary, Sarah -- and the truth is,...I know you're wary, Sarah -- and the truth is, a good one might be hard to find (or rather the right one) -- but I've been to therapy and can honestly say it changed my life for the better. It's funny, therapists don't really become like "real people", they're amazing at saying the right series of things in order to get you to look at your particular situation with some clarity, but it's not like being at a cocktail party and you're suddenly facing a nosy gossip. It's truly a safe environment (or should be -- if not, get out), where one newly discovered truth unravels another unravels another and so on. Do you want to see everything? Maybe no, but that's really the best and surest way to eventual peace I think. Personal honesty, and the rest just falls into place, enriching every other relationship and your relationship to the world in general. You're an extraordinary person and I truly admire how you've come here and been so honest and generous. Maybe it's a first step on an even bigger journey??? xoxoBarbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10020502430509158737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1528510907038944744.post-23546894017964218162012-02-08T01:28:26.838-05:002012-02-08T01:28:26.838-05:00It ends when it sees fit to end. Half the time I w...It ends when it sees fit to end. Half the time I wake up exactly thirty-seven seconds before my alarm goes off. Weird, no?<br />It's the same thing for the whole dream, really. There isn't a climax or anything. It's just that the gradual buildup of pressure drives my dream-self round the bend.<br />And there is one thing that sometimes works, actually. If my muse cooperates. I love to write - I'm halfway through my fifth novel at the moment. Weirdly enough, the novel in question features this nightmare.<br />Thanks for the suggestions! Maybe I'll try the music thing. I'm an opera/classical fan, though, so I can't exactly blame my music for my nightmares!<br /><br />May your life be interesting,<br />SarahSarahhttp://www.tantumhumanus.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1528510907038944744.post-70330146495316147192012-02-08T00:42:54.116-05:002012-02-08T00:42:54.116-05:00Sarah, I am so sorry that you have to go through t...Sarah, I am so sorry that you have to go through this. Does the nightmare actually end or do you wake up and that's the end? I only ask because sometimes when I have a nightmare and I wake up almost crying/screaming, I usually wake up in the middle. It seems that sometimes, if a dream is not completed, it comes back until it is completed. I don't know, just thinking out loud(ish). Looking at a photo does help me sometimes. Sometimes listening to some music with positive lyrics also works. Maybe meeting with a counselor would help. Vocalizing your fears can be very helpful. I think sometimes we hold fears in so that they go away, like if we don't talk about it then it doesn't exist. <br />I agree with you about being able to "talk". It is easy to say these personal things to one another here. I love it. <br />All the best,<br />StephStephnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1528510907038944744.post-82973179975824994962012-02-07T23:56:12.090-05:002012-02-07T23:56:12.090-05:00Thanks, you two. I have indeed tried all those met...Thanks, you two. I have indeed tried all those methods, with the exception of the counselor. I don't know why I don't want to, really. It's just ... such a personal thing, if that makes any sense. There's something so vulnerable about admitting what is literally your worst nightmare. I know, I know, they can help me, it couldn't possibly be any worse than I'm already dealing with. But this is the first time I've ever told ANYONE about this nightmare. Ever. I don't know you people and I never will, so maybe that has something to do with it. I'm an intensely private person, but I'm willing to unlock myself if I know that the audience is loving like it is here and if I know that they don't have any preconceived notions of me.<br />Have you ever noticed how much easier it is sometimes to just let things flow from your brain to your keyboard than it is to simply talk face to face? If I ever unknowingly saw one of you, I'd be utterly silent, but here I am, telling you about my nightmare.<br />Life works in strange ways.<br /><br />May your life be interesting,<br />SarahSarahhttp://www.tantumhumanus.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1528510907038944744.post-52854953687092874332012-02-07T23:32:31.608-05:002012-02-07T23:32:31.608-05:00Sarah that is horrible have you ever talked to a c...Sarah that is horrible have you ever talked to a counselor about it? Sometimes they can help sort things out for you. You may be having anxiety about something without even realizing it. I hope you can find some peace that must be so hard for you.Rickaman's Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08020933722154084356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1528510907038944744.post-74285388449543098482012-02-07T20:14:18.425-05:002012-02-07T20:14:18.425-05:00Oh my god, Sarah, every night???! That is horrible...Oh my god, Sarah, every night???! That is horrible. It must be so frightening to face sleep every night, even as you desperately need it. Of course you're gonna have insomnia! What if you try not thinking of the dream but look at a beautiful photo (like Steph suggests here) before you go to sleep and tell yourself how great you are and think of something nice that happened (or that you're grateful for). Think of positive positive stuff, not about your fear of sleep. Now I'm sure if you've had this dream every night since 3, it might take some practice, but I wonder if you slowly condition yourself toward a positive sleep experience if you might not be able to move away from this nightmare. It sounds like it's a self-perpetuating cycle now. Oh wow, good luck! May your life be less interesting than that. xoxoBarbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10020502430509158737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1528510907038944744.post-24517574487486671822012-02-07T19:14:25.166-05:002012-02-07T19:14:25.166-05:00Yes, I know I'm very late on replying to this....Yes, I know I'm very late on replying to this. But this is a subject that has been very close to me for... well, forever, really.<br />I've had a recurring nightmare every night since I was about three. It's always exactly the same and it seems like it only gets more terrifying as I get older and see new sides to the same situation.<br />I'm alone in pitch-black darkness. It's emptiness. A void. Utter nothingness. I'm running around, trying to escape the never-ending blackness and there's cruel, sadistic, mocking laughter echoing around me no matter how far I run and it's SO LOUD and no matter what I do, no matter how loud I scream, no matter how hard I cry, no matter how long I fight it, it JUST WON'T STOP!<br />Oh god, I'm crying a bit just thinking about it. It never ends, ever.<br />It doesn't seem that scary written out here in black and white, but let me assure you, it's damn terrifying.<br />I have been told that I sleep like the dead. That's no coincidence. I wake up every morning convinced that I am dead. It takes a few minutes of staring at the reassuringly mundane ceiling and wiping the frantic tears off my face for me to realize that I did it, I made it through the night, I'm alive. I never make a sound when I am sleeping and I never move a muscle. Inside, however... that's an entirely different story.<br />People often ask me why I get so little sleep. Honestly, it's not like I can help it. At least, not consciously. I find myself staring at the ceiling at three in the morning, willing myself to fall asleep... but at the same time, hoping to put it off a bit longer because the less I sleep, the less time I have to spend inside that ghastly horror they call my imagination.<br />No need to analyze this dream. It's fairly obvious, isn't it? They do say you're your own worst critic.<br />Unfortunately, my brain seems to have taken that literally.<br />So whenever someone tells me "sweet dreams", I give them the required smile and think to myself that at least if I've the nightmare of the ages, it means they don't. And maybe someday, that'll actually make me feel better.<br /><br />May your life be interesting,<br />SarahSarahhttp://www.tantumhumanus.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1528510907038944744.post-67059286727964879672012-02-07T16:11:40.639-05:002012-02-07T16:11:40.639-05:00And can I just say how ADORABLE your grandbaby is?...And can I just say how ADORABLE your grandbaby is?!! Oh my.<br /><br />Anyway, over to dreams. Wow, don't know how to interpret that one, but I will say this: you're in a car so you are in fact "go"ing, right? I think it's a manifestation of your sense of loss (hence the serious Sam), but that you have to keep going. So very interesting, this one!Barbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10020502430509158737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1528510907038944744.post-64716127508235732132012-02-07T15:40:11.535-05:002012-02-07T15:40:11.535-05:00It actually worked getting my granddaughter's ...It actually worked getting my granddaughter's picture up yay!<br /><br />I'll tell you all one dream I had after my husband died and you can all tell me what you think it meant. I have my own ideas now looking back and it only happened once about a year after he died but I'm almost sure it was a message of some kind from Sam. <br /><br />Okay I was driving in my car at night on the interstate and I happened to look over at the passenger seat and there was Sam. I mean he was so real I could have reached out and touched him that's how vivid the dream was. The odd thing was he wasn't smiling or anything he was very serious which was not typical of Sam. He was a fun guy even silly sometimes so it was out of character for him to be so serious. Anyway I kept looking at him waiting and then he said "When you see me, it's time to go." I instantly woke up and my heart was pounding in my chest and I still get chills when I think about it.Rickaman's Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08020933722154084356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1528510907038944744.post-91731475752583048892012-02-07T15:07:33.481-05:002012-02-07T15:07:33.481-05:00You know, I have never had a flying dream. Never h...You know, I have never had a flying dream. Never had a "Peter Pan" one before. The falling sensation freaks me out. I can never get back to sleep and if I had a dream before the falling thing, I can't remember it. Ugh. Maybe tonight I'll fly...Stephnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1528510907038944744.post-53240135377500313482012-02-07T10:32:58.890-05:002012-02-07T10:32:58.890-05:00Mary, interesting thoughts. And I do think that ta...Mary, interesting thoughts. And I do think that talking about these things makes them lighter -- especially when you begin to read how many dreams are shared by others. But do keep dreaming! (or at least during the day when you can be aware of it). You have a wonderful day too, and thanks for sharing your smile, which I will now share with others :)Barbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10020502430509158737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1528510907038944744.post-34504586869592033282012-02-07T09:56:53.732-05:002012-02-07T09:56:53.732-05:00It's interesting that we as children are born ...It's interesting that we as children are born dreamers, even day dreamers. Everything is new, exciting and vivid. I think as children we remember our dreams whether good or bad and are eager to share. Either to be comforted or validated. There are also the dreams we have as children fueled by our belief in fairy tales and happily ever after. <br />But we grow up and become cynical and when some or all of our dreams aren't realized we stop dreaming and resign ourselves to "this is as good as it's ever going to get" We stop sharing our dreams and I think in a sense never reveal the real us because on the outside we are always okay. It's when we are asleep and the inhibitions are gone that the real fears and insecurities come out if we allow ourselves to remember. The truth is we never stop dreaming because it's what gives us hope. <br /> I had two vivid dreams after my husband died that I can't explain. To be honest the first one scared the you know what out of me and still can't explain either one. It's too bad we don't feel safe enough to talk about what really goes on in our heads and hearts. I think dreams are fascinating but I myself rarely dream these day whether awake or asleep That's why places like this are a blessing to so many so I thank you Barb and Deb for that. Dream on friends it's free and something no one can take away from us.<br /><br />Have a wonderful day today and if you see someone without a smile, give them yours! Mary M. Stone<br /><br />PS: Hey Deb I forgot to mention I'm a fellow Scot!Rickaman's Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08020933722154084356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1528510907038944744.post-46304022992179104342012-02-06T23:13:35.870-05:002012-02-06T23:13:35.870-05:00In that vein (but not), how about flying?! It'...In that vein (but not), how about flying?! It's so amazing -- but then it ends and I wake up and it sucks that I can't, in fact, fly.Barbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10020502430509158737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1528510907038944744.post-36171403150142037562012-02-06T23:12:37.821-05:002012-02-06T23:12:37.821-05:00Interesting. Hope the writing helps it make some k...Interesting. Hope the writing helps it make some kind of sense!Barbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10020502430509158737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1528510907038944744.post-23110125434705888982012-02-06T23:11:58.253-05:002012-02-06T23:11:58.253-05:00Aimee, I think that's really lovely. That your...Aimee, I think that's really lovely. That your friend could have the generosity of spirit to see your younger self as just that is extraordinary. Thank you so much for sharing that thought here -- where it surely will help!Barbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10020502430509158737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1528510907038944744.post-66198981542145469702012-02-06T23:09:53.015-05:002012-02-06T23:09:53.015-05:00That makes sense, Kate -- how looking at the journ...That makes sense, Kate -- how looking at the journal entry when you've had some distance from it brings it closer into focus, not further. I have found that too with my own writing (about dreams).Barbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10020502430509158737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1528510907038944744.post-36924825954220855492012-02-06T23:08:08.867-05:002012-02-06T23:08:08.867-05:00Oh, Lori. Am smitten with this. The most beautiful...Oh, Lori. Am smitten with this. The most beautiful of all dream journaling. Dream as poetry, but also the immediacy of the experience of the dream is so vivid. Just absolutely love this! Thank you.Barbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10020502430509158737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1528510907038944744.post-63839253298333179132012-02-06T23:06:53.182-05:002012-02-06T23:06:53.182-05:00I think the most annoying dream is the one that...I think the most annoying dream is the one that's not really a dream, it's that sensation of falling that jolts me awake. I gasp and then realize I'm okay and then try to fall back asleep.Stephnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1528510907038944744.post-14318053082795654022012-02-06T23:06:21.550-05:002012-02-06T23:06:21.550-05:00Jo, this was so amazing. Just beautiful and true-f...Jo, this was so amazing. Just beautiful and true-feeling. The web -- wow. And energy transference. Doesn't that all feel so true?! So happy that helped you deal with your father's death. xoBarbarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10020502430509158737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1528510907038944744.post-61904019101910142742012-02-06T22:59:07.282-05:002012-02-06T22:59:07.282-05:00Wow. I 've actually got stuck in an elevator t...Wow. I 've actually got stuck in an elevator that went from the fifth floor to the basement, then back up, then down, and just kept doing this. Finally the doors openned and I ran out. Extremely frightening.Stephnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1528510907038944744.post-81682778540994142662012-02-06T22:40:56.882-05:002012-02-06T22:40:56.882-05:00"Dreams are the windows to our souls aren'..."Dreams are the windows to our souls aren't they?"<br /><br />Uh oh, Deb. Then that means I've got one seriously fucked up soul. :P ;)Rigelnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1528510907038944744.post-57424382578298488112012-02-06T22:30:30.095-05:002012-02-06T22:30:30.095-05:00Ok, I am in. I had a weird dream last night that ...Ok, I am in. I had a weird dream last night that I think reflects the stress of my new job. I will start writing down what I can remember.Shawnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05674420962149095121noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1528510907038944744.post-61693267879717566122012-02-06T21:48:37.036-05:002012-02-06T21:48:37.036-05:00Oh Deb it's horrible that your dreamworld isn&...Oh Deb it's horrible that your dreamworld isn't the best place right now, I hope it does improve soon. I did read one of your earlier blogs where you mentioned the responsibility you felt in helping your parents, especially in deciding what kind of care they should have. A friend said something to me once that has always stuck with me, and maybe it will comfort to you too. Or maybe to you it's old news, but I'll share anyway :)<br /><br />We were having one of those lovely rnostalgic chats, reminiscing about shared childhood memories. I spent a lot of the conversation saying, "No way, I did that??!! I'm SO SORRY." My friend turned to me and said, quite simply, "You did the best you could at the time with the knowledge you had." And boy was she right.<br />I am sure too, Deb, that your parents greatly appreciate what a great daughter you seem to be, how carefully you have considered these decisions, and what concern you still show even though officially the choices have been made.<br /><br />Like I said before, I'm not sure that this will be of any use to you, but I was inspired to share on the off chance that it might help :)Aimeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16572155707631091585noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1528510907038944744.post-1538175537899284002012-02-06T20:24:53.779-05:002012-02-06T20:24:53.779-05:00I can't always figure out my sleeping dreams, ...I can't always figure out my sleeping dreams, but I do write them down if I have a strong emotional reaction, and by doing so I have learned that if I dream someone I know has died, they tend to end up spending a couple days in a hospital within the year. <br />Also, I don't have dreams that satisfy wishful thinking, alas. They have instead showed me how things really are, whether I like it or not, whether it seems to be true in waking life or not. Quite enlightening sometimes.<br />Then there are those dreams that I can't make sense of at all but they still make a wallop and I wake up panting, upset, relieved that they were only dreams. Some of those, I remember thinking "Thank goodness I only had to experience this in a dream. Others are facing it in their waking life."<br />The beauty of writing them down is that even though they don't make any sense at the time, when I look back at them quite a bit later their meaning can be really obvious.Blondi Blathershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15656970490122824720noreply@blogger.com