Clothes Pony

Barbara: I do love the look of beautiful clothes. I have coveted my fair share of finery: silky shirts, cashmere sweaters, comfortable but still sexy pants. But I am so not a fashion maven. In fact, for the most part, I’ve even stopped reading fashion mags—they make me think too much about a world in which I don’t really have time to revel. Argh to the shopping scavenger hunts, to the changing-room fiascos, to the sticker-shock of non-third-world-child-sewn quality wear. But I come full circle to the fact that I also really really love the look of beautiful clothes. If I were to answer my own question about what to do about them from the safety of my keyboard, I would say irrefutably, “I want me some.” But what about actually going out into the real world and dealing?

There’s this closet in my house full of lackluster, serviceable clothes which greet me when I go to pick out my outfit every day. There’s the drab uniformity of the same colour choice over and over again. Or rather: non-colour. I have planted myself in that world of “easy choices”. Everything—almost everything—is black, white/cream, or grey. There’s some brown, some dark blue. Not a lot. But it’s easy, right? Most everything “goes together” and I can always pull together a classic “chic” look if I need on a moment’s notice. How can a black shirtdress with opaque hose and chunky jewelry not work?

The other day I was admiring a friend’s red coat. It looked spectacular on her. She told me that three different people had offered her three separate wise observations when it came to wearing colour. 1) Colour made you feel better. 2) Colour made you look better. And 3) Colour made you look younger. And so then I began to think about colour. If I was going to buy new clothes, didn’t I need colour too?

But colour isn’t always easy to wear, certainly not for me. Secret confession: I’ve often coveted and admired Deb’s clothes and those of my sister-in-law—both are impeccable fashionistas with style in abundance. And both of them have offered me precious items from their collections when they were spring-clearing. Oh, you can imagine my delight and excitement! Beside myself with giddiness, barely able to stop and kiss my husband hello before racing for my bedroom to try on this guilt-free benevolence (aka: I didn’t have to pay for it and they didn’t have to buy it for me). But time and time again, those very pieces that I coveted the most, the frothy blouses, the architectural jackets, the detailed sweaters, made me look (and by extension, feel) ridiculous! I know it’s logical when I say it, but it never feels logical when it happens: how could something look so beautiful and special and right on this person and so overblown and silly and wrong on me?!

And so, with a spring-cleaning ritual ahead of me and the correlating semi-annual itch to refresh the old wardrobe, I find myself wondering about what choices I will make when I next visit the stores. I mean, I have to have a plan of attack if I’m going to make the rare event a success, don’t I? And despite my reservations, I am now coveting colour, I am coveting striking, I am coveting unique. But will it all make me look like a damn fool who’s trying too hard? How do I invest my shopping hours and modest budget with the best results? And how do I split the difference between what I admire, what I wish looked good on me, and what truly makes me feel (and, as a result, look) good? Deb, help me!!!!

Deb: Help is on the way. Here is the deal. Colour is wonderful. The trend is trending for two years and I love love love to see it. But we always have to be true to who we are and how we see ourselves. I see the models in a hot pink silk skirt and cobalt blue top and I love it, but it’s not me. Sooooooo I will buy as I have done this last month, bright yellow shoes and teal blue shoes. I will buy a bright purse. I choose (mostly) to colour block with accessories. Or try a hot pair of coloured jeans. I love the pastels but not on me, so I have red and they rock. Then I play it down with a white t-shirt. Also you can do your own blue jeans (maybe in a new shape?) and just add a great and bright flowing top. Flowered tops are wonderful with ripped and torn jeans. I just got a gorgeous vintage pale yellow background and flowered silk shirt and I wear it with really distressed jeans to mix up the soft and hard. The other night I wore a gorgeous full lace top (so soft and fem) with ripped jeans and vintage doc martens. Or bling it up. I think I was telling you that I have this vintage rhinestone collar and it is a huge piece that just screams fab. I just wore it (as you know) with a vintage Oscar de la Renta cocktail dress but in the summer I will wear it with white crops and a white T.

Go through your closet and toss all the boring that is not classic. DO BUY or borrow your daughter’s fashion mags. Decide which looks you would love to add to YOUR look. Then pick five pieces that can spice up your look. What I have stopped doing is going shopping and buying a million things that I will wear once. I decide what my look for the season will be and I invest in a few “key” pieces. And DON’T worry about trend. Stress what would makes YOU feel good, visualize how you would love to look this spring and summer. And then ... GO BABY GO!

I would LOVE to help you with this. I WOULD LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, somebody stop me; I could go on and on and on and on and on.

Okay, one more thing. Go shopping in your own closet. You may be surprised that a little piece you bought years ago will work well NOW. I save things that I love and I wait like a fashion tiger to pounce on them when their time comes around again. And by that I don’t necessarily mean trend-time but rather when I LOVE them again. And mix it up. Some of your clothes may be boring to you because of the way you USED to wear them. Mix them up!!! Introduce that little cashmere sweater to a different skirt, pant or shoe. You may just fall in love all over again. And only after you have done that ... you go shopping to fill in the blanks.

Okay, I will shut up now, but I will still be thinking about it while I work out. Then I will call you and then I will pester you and you will regret opening this can of couture! xoxo 

Hot/Not/In/Out

Deb: Why do people do the “What’s HOT, What’s NOT, What’s IN, What’s OUT” lists? They always bug me. Mostly because they inevitably include on the “NOT” and “OUT” lists things that I think are GOOD. Cool even.

Today in the paper I saw a new column entitled: “Ten Ways You Know You Are Trying Too Hard”. What? This was written by someone who calls herself a “Style Czar.” Clearly no one told her that the term Style Czar is both NOT and OUT.

Here are a few things she thinks show that you are an out of touch loser. They include: overly decorated cakes; lovely leaves that wrap the insides of vases to hide stems; arty architect-style eyeglasses; little plastic egg cups with cute designs; and octogenarian bikers. Octogenarian bikers? Was she two words short for her column? She went on to state that she hates wall words or words placed in the garden. Bad decorating idea says she. Over. Who makes these rules anyway? Like them or not, as I looked under her smug photo and onto her list, I realized that everything on it had something in common. Everything she mentioned was fun, whimsical, smile-inducing, and brave even.

Now I confess, that I am a bit of a fashion slave. I do follow fashion keenly and enjoy trends to a degree. But I have never wanted to crap on someone for something that might be considered “so last year.” And I’m sure the Czar would condemn me for using a dated phrase like “so last year”, but there it is. When we wear something or decorate with something, isn’t it the “enjoyment” of it, and not just the “current” of it. And if you are so wrapped up in the hot/not, in/out, how do you keep up for heaven’s sake? Are you frantically changing your decor weekly for fear of landing on the list?

I remember a few years back reading that pashminas were NOT and OUT. I thought really? Pashminas. Shawls? In every colour? That you can wear in every season? OUT/NOT, are they? Okay, well back to bare arms and freezing on cool nights. God forbid I should wrap myself in a pashmina and look like a tool.

Things become popular and, as soon as they do, some smuggy “Czar” has to poo all over it to make you feel that liking something that others like too is stupid. And frankly, whether you think so or not, Czary McSmuggerton, YOU are on someone’s list somewhere I bet. Your judgment and your lack of “live and let live” is so NOT.

I have a dear friend who is 15 years into his sobriety and over his front door he has mounted the word “Serenity” to remind himself of it whenever he goes out into the world. One of the least out of touch losers I have ever known. Go fig.

Barbara: Okay, I soooo relate to this post, Deb. I have loathed every HOT/NOT list I have ever read. Why? Because as much as I like to look smashing, I just can’t live by the latest, the trendiest, the HOTTEST. I find it too exhausting, too expensive, and frankly too boring.

And, excuse me, “octogenarian bikers” are OUT???!!!!! How can a fit older person exercising ever, ever, EVER be on any list other than “Great Accomplishments To Celebrate”??! Which reminds me how much it used to bug me back in the day (would the Czar blacklist me for that expression too?) when people would chastise aging rockers for doing what they love and live by after a certain “best-by” date. But I digress.

I am 100% with you, Deb, and your “live and let live” mantra.

PS: the beautiful cake in the photo is Deb's 50th. She thought it would illustrate the "overly decorated cake" NOT. Barbara got confused when Deb suggested it because she thought it was so totally HOT.