Life Lessons From Writing Lessons

Barbara: I am taking the most wonderful, creative and inspiring writing course right now with Michel Basilieres (writer of the magnificent Black Bird). One of the fundamental writing lessons he is teaching us, a lesson he reiterates over and over in case we forget it (because we do forget it over and over) which, in my humble opinion, also happens to be a fundamental life lesson is: no matter what you do, you are NEVER EVER “wasting your time”.

It’s a funny obstacle many writers have that if you see that something in your writing isn’t working, you have this tremendous sense of frustration and fatigue, ennui even, and usually high levels of resistance to the idea that you might need to start over again. Maybe you need to throw something away that you’ve slaved over. Or maybe you need to accept that something you’ve really attached yourself to, creatively and emotionally, just isn’t working the way you thought/hoped/imagined. The crux of this discovery, either your own for yourself or from an outside eye, is that it feels like a rejection of you and your work. You may feel stupid (how could I have missed/written that?). You may feel angry (fuck you, you don’t know what you’re talking about!). You may even feel you want to just pack it in and give up. And let me just be blunt about that: if you do actually pack it in and give up, then you didn’t care enough about that dream/idea/creation. Because, like in life, anything that really matters to you, anything that is deep and meaningful and spiritually important takes an extraordinary investment of time. Like, maybe even all the time you have…

Every writer has a point (or many points along the way) where they have to take stock and make adjustments. We all know the famous quote about writing being 10% writing and 90% re-writing. Writers often get writer’s block because they are consumed with this anxiety that if they don’t get it JUST RIGHT the first time, the work they’ve toiled over will go to scrap, so rather than do “wrong” work, they don’t do any work at all.

For all you writers out there, here’s the best news: every single word you write—whether it “survives” or does not—gives you something enormous: it might teach you about the craft, it might open up a story path you hadn’t considered and will still use, it might produce a sentence or a character or an idea that would never otherwise have been born. Nothing you create when you sit down to create is useless.

And, as I considered the truth of this lesson, the importance of it, I realized all of life is like this. We all have experiences and moments that we kind of chuck into the garbage after they’re done (well, that’s over, thank god), and then we find ourselves facing the same kind of experience or moment over and over and we sigh and wail and throw up our hands (no, not that again!). But every one of our dreary life experiences also carries the seeds of life lessons embedded within. And, I think, if we pay attention and reflect, we can certainly find the creative genius in those challenges, and that the residual effect is specifically valuable and true to us.

There is no waste of time in the mountains of balled up, cast-off pages landing in the trash, and there is no waste of time in the things we do that don’t end up so pretty and perfect. We are all… wait for it … you know it’s coming … works in progress.

Deb: I LOVE THIS POST! All the stuff I know but needed to be reminded of. Barb, you and I know firsthand how this is. We have written and rewritten our scripts over and over and then over again. We always had the same can-do spirt about it, I think, based on this philosophy. But as Barb knows I am trying to write this kid's book that has been in my head forever and I NEEDED this lovely and positive reminder. Thanks, Barb. Thanks, Barb’s teacher!

Writing: Throwing The Story Out With The Bathwater

Barbara: Yeah, this post is fundamentally about writing, but I also think it applies to real life situations as well. So follow along with me and maybe we can dissect how it relates to both!

Over the last several years (okay, 12), I have been turning my attention toward writing. It is my first love and it is way more seductive and thoughtful than acting. Over these years I have developed, with varying degrees of success, two novels and several screenplays, most still in some stage of development today. Thing is, if something is not quite ready for publication/filming but not hopeless enough to give up on, what do you do???

My friends know how tenacious I am. If I think or know something is viable but just needs some spit and polish, I’m all for it. Give me the cleaning cloth and I will gather the hork. I will polish till the End of Days. BUT…. but…

I have also seen several drafts of either a novel or screenplay get completely thrown out because of well-intentioned but aggressive polishing. Tossed away, discarded, dismissed, deemed unworthy.

… And then crawled back to on contrite hands and knees as I (or we) realize that there was much of value in that unpolished story. In fact, that old draft was responsible for the original green light/great feedback, so why did it get completely tossed out?

It is a hard lesson. On the one hand, if we are diligent, if we are open, if we are committed and dedicated and savvy, why should we rest on old laurels? Shouldn’t we always be changing and shifting to accommodate the new or the many (other opinions)? And yet on the other hand, if there is life and energy in everything, why not also stand behind the original, the seed, the baby?

Why throw it all out when a little judicious bailing might be more in order?

I’ll tell you why: because sometimes you just don’t know. Sometimes you have to get rid of that water in order to value it. Sometimes the bailing works in reverse—throw it all out, then scoop back in what you need or see now to be essential and valuable.

I can’t help wondering if this doesn’t also apply to life choices––friendships, relationships, work—and not just writing.

Deb: Barb and I had submitted a project we were working on to two possible broadcasters. Although they were both interested and in fairness gave it a great deal of thought, they passed for various reasons. Barb and I had to sit down and honestly examine what it was that did not resonate with them. We had to dissect it and not be precious with it. I will say that we are very good at doing this. We don’t hang onto things if they are not working.  But ... at what point do you say, “Hey, this is good. I believe in this. I am not going to give up on it, no matter what people are saying.” It’s hard to know when that time is, isn’t it? And we still struggle with this every single time we put ourselves out there. And we have let go many many times. 

But this time we decided that we were not ready to let this particular project go. As a result, we are making a presentation pilot by the good graces of crew I have worked with who believe in us and are giving us a full day of shooting, GRATIS. These are very busy working professionals who are doing this, did I mention––for free. Because they are artists themselves; they support projects and people they believe in. Pretty friggin special, isn’t it?  So we are taking the written page and adding images to it, which is as spelled out as we can get. And this time if they don’t bite, we will let it go. But not, as you can see, without a fight.

I find the real-life version of this easier. In life, I am pretty good at knowing when to fold up camp or when to set up camp in someone’s heart or mind. With business, it ain’t so easy. So please wish us luck and stay tuned!