Friday, July 30, 2010

I Am So HOT In Bed

Barbara: It’s true. I am smokin’ hot in bed. Four-alarm. Off the charts. A real sizzler. Too bad my husband sleeps through the whole thing.

Now, I know you know I mean literally hot. Sweaty. Icky. (Although, I will say, I think I’m kinda the other kind of hot too, but that’s for another post … if you’re interested. Or if I’m in the mood.)

Anyway. I’m not yet in menopause or in the “peri” part of it … I don’t think. What do I know? I mean, I don’t have hot flashes or day sweats or any of the other stuff Deb has warned me about (bless her heart and curse her honesty). But lately I wake up night after night just uncomfortably hot. Of course, it probably doesn’t help that I’m under a down duvet that I am loathe to throw off. My inner little kid still likes the coziness and “safety” of a substantial cover over me. And to make matters worse, my dog likes to press himself against my legs, generating even more heat and effectively shutting off the only means of escape I have if I want to throw a leg out into the cool night air. And I don’t think my husband would appreciate me yanking off the covers on his side. I guess I can consider myself lucky that he isn’t a through-the-night-cuddler. Not like a friend of mine who when she went through menopause sweated so profusely every night she drenched the sheets, but who was determined not to disengage from her cuddly and strangely oblivious husband who had a habit of clinging onto her like she was his personal life raft. Even with my mild(er) case of midnight hotness, I can’t imagine it.

So I wake up night after night and blink hotly at the ceiling in abject wonder at my body. Must it always do all the things I have been warned it will do? Must it be so bloody (no innuendo intended) predictable? It really begs the question, would I prefer to be in ignorant bliss—ie, do I want to know nothing of aging and its changes and therefore not second-guess my sudden warmth and simply assume it is the weather, the bed, or my husband? Or do I prefer to be “in the know” and realize that, yeah, I’m hot, but there’s good reason for it and it’s normal and natural and in no way needs to interfere with any other more desirable kind of hotness?

Deb: As Barb’s official MenoYoda, I can say that indeed I have been there. Moons ago now. But I actually purchased pj’s made for menopausal women that absorbed the sweat. They didn’t work as I was too hot to wear them! 

I know the old expression goes: “Horses sweat, men perspire, and ladies feel the heat.” But during menopause, I was a Clydesdale with the big old furry feet, and even they were soaked with sweat. So the only consolation I can offer my dear friend is this: When you wake up during the night and your sheets are soaked, just be grateful it ain’t pee.

Barbara: Hallelujah, MenoYoda. Once again, you have shed the light!


  1. Every night when I go to be I always have to make sure that have my fans are on and the air conditioner is on. I have to make sure that it is as cold as I can get it in my bed room. I can not stand the heat it drives me crazy. I hate being hot. And the summer heat does not help to be any cooler as well,that is why I like the winter time the best.

  2. Oh Barb....I so feel your pain, and I too want to be in denial about what awaits me (I'm 46). I have found when I've experienced Peri- symptoms that running every day on the treadmill lessens them, and sometimes alleviates them completely. I tried taking Estroven per a friends suggestion - BIG MISTAKE if you're not in menopause. Holy Moly.
    Why so women have to "suffer" through everything? why can't we just stop menstruating....Period. I mean, wasn't 40 years of periods and pregnancy and childbirth enough? Geez....

  3. Face the music, Perri, the band has begun to play.

  4. Ouch, Anon, talk about telling it like it is! My gal, Lyndsie, agrees it could just be that it's hot outside. Either way, Justice Grrl has good advice re the exercise. Thanks! And yes! Why not period, period?

    Anyway, I'm thinking "Peri" is winning the day... *sigh*

  5. I've always been of the opinion that this is how things SHOULD work:

    Wanna baby? Turn the menstrual cycle on. Get the eggs flowing down their little tubes, have the bouncy fun in bed, have a baby. Don't want baby? Turn the cycle off. No muss, no fuss, no periods, no babies. There should be an on/off switch somewhere instead of this foolish, inconvenient monthly nonsense and the suffering that must be endured to finally end it. Menopause after decades of periods? It's insult to injury, I tell ya.

  6. You've probably tried it, but I sleep outside the downie and with the upstairs windows and internal doors open. Even the faintest breeze is delicious, and I usually wake up just cool enough to enjoy a few minutes under the downie (until I feel hot again and have to get up)...

  7. @56 have not experienced that type of hot bed yet.
    I guess it is still coming....
    also I sleep thru the night.
    As for the covers I took care of that we have two twin duvets on the bed to sleep and I make the bed with a king quilt so no one knows our little secret.

    My girlfriend keeps a soft ice bag on her pillow in a towel and it keeps her cool. She has the night sweets going on 22 years.

  8. Okay, "Dances with Haddock" wins for most original name! Thanks for the advice -- but no breezes coming lately. Maybe tonight though???

    And, lifewaves, 22 years of night sweats??!! How's that for hot? Anyway, good suggestions both.

  9. Barb I'm with you there. I've been told I am not menopausal yet, but I get so hot at night it's hard to sleep. And I have 2 dogs that can't stay off me.
    I found if I have too much caffeine and not enough water it is worse. So as much as I love coffee I try to keep it to just 2 cups a day.
    It seems to be helping. Just another reason to drink lots of water.

  10. Oh My how I love your blog you 2! As my half century birthday is looming ominously, I have not even dealt with my PMS issues! At this rate I will be going through menopause at about 89 and surely by then I will be too daft to notice.

  11. My husband sleeps hot and I usually GO to sleep cold and heat up, but because I start with an extra blanket, I can throw it off when I get hot. Barbara-I am like you though, and PREFER the weight of a puffy blanket... only give it up when it becomes unbearable.

    I got hot flashes during my second pregnancy, and periodically get them if I mainline sugar *cough* So I am NOT looking forward tot the read deal.

  12. To Hart, Justice Grrrl's and TJL's points: I do think what you eat and drink and do affect how anything feels, including peri, meno, and just regular life. I think caffeine and sugar must surely be no-no's (or tread softlies), and exercise must surely be a fixer.

    Welcome, BB! So glad you found us. And hopefully it will all be smooth sailing for you (if 50s PMS can be called smooth sailing).

  13. ooh, like Hart I am usually cold when I go to sleep and at war with my hubby about the temp of the AC. Then, like you, voila, I awaken at about 3 am sweating, if just a little. I throw everything off, check to see if I had won the last thermostat war unwittingly (nope, still set at the hubby's choice), pop it down and notch and just lie there sans blankets, arms and legs spread wide wondering about it all.

  14. The Tibetan Rites are said to help with the menopausal hormones, by balancing them or something. There's a link to a page about them on my site, for anyone who's interested. I've been doing them for over two years and though I wake up at night hot, and throw off the covers for two minutes before having to put them back on again, I haven't had the wet sheets thing or the volcano-from-inside that are often talked about.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.