Friday, June 17, 2011

Deb and Barb Have A Four-Way (really handsome men might be involved)

Deb and Barb Have a 4-Way With Their Husbands
Colin: When I was approached by Deb and Barb about starting a four-way––and after the original misconception was dealt with––my mind reeled with what I should write about. It is easy to go the “arent men and women different” route, or the “why do women always...” tack, or even the “ isnt that cute, she said whiffy instead of Wi-Fi”, but heres where I want to go.

Phil, you and I have been extremely lucky with the women that we have pledged our lives to. Women who love and accept us for who we are and have eyes only for us (Im not counting the time Deb accidentally grabbed your penis, Phil. Have to say, Barb has yet to reciprocate. In fact, she actually slammed her fingers in the car door to stop herself.) (…yup, for full story, click here and scroll down to Barbara's response...)

Heres the thing: I love being married. Now, being married to Deb probably has a lot to do with it, but still. Since I was a young man, I have always wanted to get married and have a family. You might be surprised to learn that this was not an attractive trait in the dating world in the late 70ʼs early 80ʼs. I kept it suppressed, but it was always there. The only smart thing I did as a young man dating was to follow my instincts in this arena. I trusted that my DNA knew what I wanted. I had been in relationships with women I loved deeply, with women I kinda liked, and with women who apparently had day passes. Yet, no matter the depth of my feeling, I was never close to proposing or even entertaining the thought.

One week with Deb and I knew she was the one. It didnt hit me like a thunderclap, I didnt have a Eureka moment, I just knew. Like you know you are breathing. It felt right then and it certainly does now, 22 years later. Marriage was the making of me. I matured. I learned how to pull my weight in a relationship. I learned to cook and to clean (okay, how to “boy” clean. “Girl” clean involves making things sparkle … I mean, come on). I learned about the true meaning of husband and wife. It’s not intense passion every minute of every day, emotional turmoil, suffocating jealousy, wild sex everywhere (though Im still willing to test that last part). Its doing the crappy, mundane things in life without question because it helps out your partner or because it just has to be done. Its sitting together watching So You Think You Can Dance and crying, not just because of the artistry, but also because you understand the passion and dedication needed to make something beautiful. Its watching a little being you created grow into a person you admire and want to be with because of the right choices you made and in spite of the mistakes. Its dealing with the tragedies and triumphs of life as a unit, not always saying the right things but always trying. Its learning about being unselfish, or, at the very least, learning the right time to be selfish.

Sometimes its work and sometimes its nothing but play. Its the little moments that surprise you like doing spring cleaning, dirty and sore, glancing at your mate in old clothes, sweating and swearing, and feeling your heart pound so hard you cant think straight. Marriage never stifled me, or had me feeling trapped, or limited what I could do…. You know, those misconceptions that clueless singles throw out as truths. It freed me.

So thank you, Ms McGrath, for making “I do” the richest, most satisfying sentence I ever uttered. Dinner will be waiting for you when you get home.

Phil: You broke the bro code! Colin, I thought it was implicitly outlined in the code that we must never reveal our true feelings about married life under threat of having our man-cards suspended, or worse, revoked! What have you done, my friend?! What chaos will follow?... An admission that cuddling while watching The Devil Wears Prada for the umpteenth time has its merits? That his and hers mani-pedis are moments to be cherished? That spending hours perfecting a French manicure on your lady is challenging yet strangely enjoyable? That having the place to yourself isn't all that it's cracked up to be if she's not around?

All right, this could get us in deep trouble with the brotherhood, but here goes.

From the earliest age, I always wanted to have a girlfriend. Even before being ruled by raging teenage hormones, I liked the idea of a female in my life for the camaraderie, different insights, and maturity ... my own personal girl if you like. So unlike you, when I met Barbara, I didn't dawdle for a week figuring out that she was the one, I took a well-measured fifteen minutes to decide! Yup, a quarter of an hour is all it took to go from saying, “We should take it slow, keep it casual,” to declaring that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. While quite young at the time, I can assure you that it wasn't related to any kind of "premature" incident that one might succumb to at 18. It was a genuine and deeply committed, damn-the-consequences statement with no taking it back. Good thing she has felt the same way since.

I admit that it took me another 9 years to propose, but it wasn’t due to any sense of apprehension, but rather a belief that we would just progress naturally to marriage with nary a discussion, proposal, or planning; Barb set me straight on that pretty quickly and I stepped up. Luckily she said yes and I am the richer for it.

There are so many qualities I admire about Barbara from her beauty to her amazing empathy for strangers, but it's her knack for making lists that has made me who I am. She's a planner and an organizer and I'm not. She knows how to make lists and stick to an agenda. Her ability to bring things to the forefront and discuss important life issues has given us a beautiful home, two amazing daughters who can speak two languages, swim, dance, paint, ski and play instruments. Without her, my kids would be illiterate, talentless couch potatoes living in an overpriced rental condo.... Actually, without her there would be no kids and all those fine traits would apply to me!

But married life isn't always perfect and we all endure our share of disappointments. Which brings up another point. When Barb met me so long ago in my angst-ridden teens, I was quite the prolific songwriter having penned many tortured ballads about my many failed relationships. She's often asked me over the years for her own song and has been disappointed that none has been written. My answer has always been the same: those songs were unhappy tunes about healing or pleading to save a failed relationship. Since there is nothing broken or in need of healing in our lives the songs are unnecessary and would just ring hollow. Besides, I got the girl this time!

Yup, I like being married to Barb. And waking up everyday and seeing my own personal girl next to me never gets old. 

Okay, that's enough. The damage is done, Colin. The cease and desist orders will be coming shortly asking us to burn our man-cards. But when I see you around the ceremonial bonfire, we'll be in good company with the rest of the happily married real men.

Deb: First of all, I will say after reading both my husband and Phil’s contribution, that we are two lucky women, Barb. But I think the key to our happy marriages lays not only in their love for us or our love for them, but in our mutual love. I know this because I see this in both our marriages all the time. But more than love, I think it is respect that wins the day in a marriage. I will not speak for you, Barb, from this point as you will have your own individual lovely point of view.

But I will speak for Colin and myself and our love.

People often say that it is the little things that break up a marriage and I would tend to agree. But in our case it is the little things that make our marriage soar. I will not sing my own praises here regards our marriage, as this is my love letter to Colin.

My husband does for me. As he spends his day doing all the many things he does, there is never a time where he fails to ask what he can do for me. And I will tell you that he has saved many a stressful day for me in doing so. Besides the fact that he makes me laugh all day long, thus lengthening my already happy life, he constantly reminds me that I am essential, not only in his world, but my own.

Ultimately, it is his love for my Mom and Dad and his Mom and their needs that has made me know what a person of selfless quality he is. He loves my Mom and Dad and cares for them as if he shares their history. And he loves his Mom more and more as he grows older knowing and appreciating the things she has done and sacrificed for him.

That is true love for me. That and his love for the boy.

His love for the boy would take us into an arena that I would not have time for here. As they say ... that’s another story.  

All I know is that whenever he walks in the door, with groceries, with our dogs, home from a trip, or up in the morning, he rises from our bed with my heart in his hand, and I look at him and melt. And he looks at me as if he is seeing me for the first time. To be almost 57 and have your husband look at you like you are 21 and HOT is a feeling that frankly defies description. And the gorgeous part of it is that Cupid’s arrow strikes out of the blue for us, from the bad breath moments to the dressed to the nines. We still get that feeling. Mostly it can happen on any rainy Tuesday morning. And I feel it. With each passing year. More and more and more. God bless him, he loves me, and lordie do I love him.

Annie Lennox has said it for me many a night when I have danced alone in our living room missing him:
Cold is the color of crystal, the snow light
that falls from the heavenly skies.
Catch me and let me dive under
for I want to swim in the pools of your eyes.
I want to be with you
baby oh oh slip me inside of your heart.

And I do. And he does. But the two of us share a feeling and it comes from our mutual favourite film:
You are my lucky star
I saw you from afar
Two lovely eyes at me
They where gleaming
I was starstruck

You are my lucky charm
I'm lucky in your arms
You've opened Heaven's portal
Here on earth for this poor mortal
You are my lucky star...

... as I read this to my husband tonight, he came to me and kissed me huge. And I said through piles of tears, “Is it too corny, too much? ... Oh fuck it, I don’t care.”

They say that there is nothing more irresistible than a person who loves you … oh baby.

Barbara: Dear readers, I hope this isn’t all too much for you! I swear, when we asked the guys to 4-way with us, we weren’t expecting THIS!! We thought we’d get something funny, glib, a little cheeky, even subversive. Instead, we’ve been handed a gift so huge, I want to ask every long-term couple to write one letter to each other—just one real love letter.

I get it. Love is the most fraught of our emotions: so easy to fall into, so painful to lose, so beautiful when appreciated, so lonely when unreciprocated, so complicated when you start adding personal disappointments, ambition, needs, illness, ego, ego, EGO!

Here’s the thing surveys on marriages don’t tell you: if you’ve been through the wringer with someone––the good, the bad, the tragic, the ugly, the sublime––and come out of it on the other side, the depth of that love––as each of these stories illustrates so well––is positively epic. It’s not just the chemical connection, the romantic loveliness, the sex (wild or otherwise, Colin), the dinner mate, it’s something deep, relaxed, essential. It takes a loooong, circuitous journey to get to this point. And not everyone is up for it. And not everyone is into it. And certainly both of you have to want it; one can’t want it for both of you.

And after much consideration, I can honestly say that if I had to choose to live with a partner just for the sake of having someone there with whom to weather any and all storms, honestly, I’d rather go it alone. Alone is how I discovered who I really am, is how I found who I was meant to be, is how I learned to grow and bloom and think with clarity. If my partner was just a role-filler living here to get me through tough times or help me raise my kids, then he might as well be a leech sucking up my light and energy.

I’m not with Phil because he props my life up. No. I choose him. I choose him every day. And he chooses me every day. And he knows it, and I know it, and we both love that both of us knows it. Day after day after day.

Phil isn’t just my helpful partner (which he is in spades), he isn’t just my ear, my shoulder, my rock, my love … he lets me be who I need to be. He’s given me room to grow and explore and expand to fill my rightful space. Without all of that, I would certainly be half the woman I am today. With him, am I twice the woman I would otherwise be? Of course not. But I’m eternally grateful that I don’t have to test that theory.

Oh, and his story about telling me within fifteen minutes that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me? I was so smitten, so intoxicated with love, I never heard it. It wasn’t until our teenage daughter bugged him not that long ago for stories of our early relationship that he repeated it out loud. I was floored. Not only was I still waiting for that love song, but those romantic little stories from our past had gone MIA too. He’s not exactly the strong, silent type, but he definitely prefers to show his love for me through gesture, action, and physical affection. And that’s just the way I like it. But, as a lover of words, I’m also taking this blog-post and filing it under: Break Open in Case of Emergency. 


  1. WOW...
    Was totally expecting a post that was cute, quirky, and funny ('cause, I mean, one of the writers was Colin Mochrie, King of Canadian comedy, for heaven's sake!), but what we got was SO much more! Deb and Barb, you two gals have some very wonderful, unique, amazing men! If I could meet and marry someone half as awesome in the future, I'd be quite happy! Hugs to you, and here's to many more years of happiness with two cool dudes! :)

  2. Thanks Beth, no one was more surprised then we were when it took this tone. I will always cherish this post. Thanks.

  3. Oh wow you got some great men by your sides . This post is so sweet. What is so sweet about it is the fAct that not only does it give people that are married an inside look about different things in a marriage it also gives people that are in a relactionship a chance to see what is ahead for them. Love the post today. It was Sao sweet.

    Lu dais

  4. Ps the above comment is from lyndsie

  5. A sweet treat, huh, Lyndsie! Thanks to you and Beth. We are both lucky to have such wonderful guys, but also lucky that we weathered all the work it takes to get here!! I wish for you the same.

  6. How beautiful this is! I'm so happy for all of you.

  7. Not exactly what I was expecting when I saw the "advertisement" in a previous post of a 4-way. I at least thought there was going to a reciprocation of the famous ski-trip grab :)

    First off Phil/Colin - you have broken the brotherhood code!! WTF! This is unheard of.

    As a member of the brotherhood I want to thank you! You've set an example all men should follow on keeping the spark in a marriage and talking about it so others can see how great relationships can go. There's enough negative examples out there in the brotherhood. It's refreshing to hear two really positive accounts.

    Phil - having met you and Barb I can say you are a very lucky man. You two are a great example for others to follow.

    Colin - I've never met you but based on what Deb says about you I think it's safe to say you are very lucky too. Thanks for sharing your story.

    Barb/Deb - thanks for sharing these stories with us. This was a real treat and a great example of what marriage can be - especially for those just starting the journey of building a wonderful life and family.


  8. Thank you for sharing this. So fun to hear from the guys. Since reading this, probably within half an hour of you posting it, I've been thinking about what all of you have said. Pondering it. What kind of comment could I leave? I've been thinking about my sweet husband. We are approaching our 15th anniversary. I'll spare you the novel about my husband I've composed in my head, but I'll tell you, we never would have made it these 14 years without similar feelings for each other as you have expressed. I think my Ian could agree with Colin and Phil and I know I can agree with Deb and Barbara.

    The four of you are so blessed.

    And I have to say, I love your mention of Singing in the Rain. It's is one of my most favorite movies. I've never been able to get Hubby to watch it with me. He doesn't do musicals. Maybe I'll be able to get him to now, "But Hubby, Colin watches it with his wife..... I promise to watch a laser movie with you later." :)

  9. Adam, thanks so much for weighing in! I friggin' love your comment. And that's what this is, I think: a passing on from the elders to the youngers ;) (wise wise elders ;) )

    Molly, so glad you relate! And I always find that watching the guy movie often buys me a chick flick!

  10. Thanks Adam it's great to see a guy weigh in so beautifully on this one! Molly tell him that it is a satire on musicals, which it is! Satire will work!

  11. "we are two lucky women"

    Yes, you both are. Although I think the guys are pretty lucky, too. :-)

  12. I love that you're Kelly 2 now! Did you guys flip for that???

  13. Awww, 10 minutes after reading this thats still all I got. Just Awww.

    It's nice to hear such a positive take on marriage and love in general. You hear so much negativity its refreshing to read.

    Barb I already wrote my love letter a few months back, one of my own posts back in March called Dance Partners.

  14. Just read Erin's ode to her marriage. So beautiful -- so worth a read.

  15. This is my favorite blog of all of them!! I love this so much..Im printing it out...!! You have both made my day...and hey..I hate to sound like a noob( 14 yr old daughters word) but I am such a huge fan of Debs husband..Im almost godsmacked...Now Im a bigger fan.
    Love you your words..your thoughts..and the generosity of your spirits!!
    Melody George

  16. Must say between luck and work you both found the love. And I am impressed. So few have what you four have and I appreciate and know that it is a gift of the best proportions life has to give.

  17. I love this. It makes me happy knowing that true love really does still exist!! This is my favorite post..ever. you all are so lucky to have found one another :)

  18. Oh. My Freaking. Goodness. First off, hands down this is my favorite post (Colin's part nearly made me cry!!!)

    You two ladies have some incredible men in your lives!

    And PS...the lovely commenter above me happens to be my twin sister!! : D

  19. It is abundantly clear that both Colin and Phil aced Sweettalking 101 and 202 at university and can sweep you two girls right off your feet any time they feel like turning on the charm.

    I've got a guy like that, too.
    Ain't it great?

  20. What a beautiful and up lifting read. Thank you all for sharing so much of yourselves. There really is nothing more special then loving / and being loved. Love comes in many forms and hopefully from many people around you BUT being loved by / and loving a partner is something that should be appreciated every moment of every day.
    I love that I still get butterflies when I see Rob - or that we still can not get enough of each other after being together for over 25 years.
    Thanks for the smile on my face and the happiness your message had instilled in me today.

  21. This was so very beautiful and heartwarming, and I'm so glad to see their are others out there who feel the same way about marriage as my husband and I do. 24 years together and he still makes my heart skip a beat.

    Here's to happy marriage!


  22. what I loved in reading this - is that it CAN happen , that it DOES exist - love - unconditional love .. and that I guess the thing is - as you said Barb - is waking up and choosing , and knowing its such a gift to choose And as you said Deb, appreciating .. and as for your two men breaking your brotherhood code - thank you for being two guys unafraid to admit that a relationship means everything to you and that men look for a home for their hearts just like women do - and that men know how to nurture and cherish - it is so GREAT to read that ..
    I cried at your letter Colin, and Deb at your song and the image of you dancing , and Phil thank you for the surprise of your story - its beautiful and I think you have a love song lyric in it , and Barb= kudos for thinking this up .
    WE all need to be reminded of what a gift love is , and for those of us who havent had it stay or arrive , you are all inspiration for us to believe that it can happen - and I thank you from the bottom of my heart on this dateless Friday night . I am single but I know I want something that the four of you have , and thank you for setting the gold standard .. because you are living proof love is here for all of us .
    Bless you all .. thank you , et Merci mille fois

  23. Love it!! I hope hubby and I are still the best of friends when we're in our forties and fifties. After seven years of marriage and four kids (so far), I still love him and want him and think he's super fantastic. We started out as the best of friends and I'm thankful for it every day. Congrats Deb and Colin, Barb and Phil on two obviously stellar marriages!!

  24. Wow, so thrilled this is touching a happy chord with all of you!! Like Madge says, it's so much about gratitude for everything (not just mates). Holly and Kelly (twin readers!!), we love making you cry :) Hollye, I KNOW you know what this means! And our Anonymii, Rob sounds awesome, and single life has its own gold standard: one is "never settle"!

  25. Oops, Katie, we crossed. Yup, you have all the ingredients to get you here in your 40s and 50s. Just keep having kids (kidding! although that's cool too). Stay best friends. And have lots of date nights after the kids go to bed ;)

  26. And I missed Melody!! How could I do that?! Anyway, Melody, Colin is the real deal. In every way. We love him too. Thanks so much for your love and support!

  27. Deb, Barb, Collin, and Phil,
    Thank you all for brightening the day and weekend for me. Jack and I may not make 30 years together, but that is only because we found each other late in life.
    I was one of those singles who wouldn't settle. I waited until I found the right partner in life, and he turned out to be my best friend as well.
    There is no such thing a perfect couple. If you believe that you are setting your self up to fail the first time things hit a speed bump. But there is such a thing as a perfect partner. That is someone who is still there and still in love no matter what life throws at them.
    Believe me, we have been blind sided, too. But you just pick each other up and keep going.

    Sorry for the long comment, but you four really hit a nerve. I am so glad you found each other.

    Pamela Jo

  28. I must admit, I did cry when I read this post. There were joyful for tears for you, Deb and Barb, who obviously have two very kind and sweet and loving husbands. And it is just as obvious that they have two very kind and sweet and loving wives. There were happy tears as I thought of my parents, who got married a month after they met and will celebrate their 33rd anniversary in November. No, theirs isn't a perfect marriage, but it is just right for them. And lastly there were a few sad tears, when I think that I have no one as special as that to share my life with, and most likely will not come across such a person any time soon.

    My thanks to you, ladies, and to your ever so lovely husbands for sharing this with us. What a wonderful tribute to love this is...

  29. I was out of circulation yesterday everyone but I cannot tell you how moved I was to see how moved you guys were. And how it resonated with so many of your wonderful marriages. To be frank, I was at the studio working when Colin's first part of the blog came in and wow. I cannot remember being this struck in a long long time. I had to actually get out and walk around the parking lot my heart was so full and my face so wet. So thanks for all your wonderful comments.

  30. What a beautiful tribute from all of you to your respective spouses! I laughed when I read about the breaking of the bro code! My partner is forever telling a good friend of ours to keep it to himself, he's breaking the code. I thought he'd made that up...but I guess not.

    I'm so glad I read this early in the have all truly made my day. Thank you!!!

  31. Yes the bro code was so funny. But I am so glad they both broke it! I'm glad it made your day Marion. Mine too!

  32. I'm going to read this entry over a second time, just because it makes me feel so good.

  33. Colin: I learned to cook and to clean (okay, how to “boy” clean. “Girl” clean involves making things sparkle … I mean, come on)

    -- this one I read out loud to my 18-yr-old son, who nodded and smiled in perfect agreement. He is always saying "Mom, you are the only one who cares about that!" (meaning getting something clean enough)

  34. Kate that is so lovely. I think I'll join you.

  35. Kate, I'm going to read your comment over and over because it makes me feel so good :)

    Pamela Jo, I love your comment -- we always love when people share their stories here. Thank you.

    Marion -- Phil has had several friends sweetly tease him about breaking the code after this!!

    And April, we know there's always the chance when you write about great love that many people out there will feel it's not theirs to have. On the one hand, I would say, "never give up; you never know; many many people I know found their great loves in their later years (both my parents, for instance)", but on the other hand, it just makes me want to stress how doubly important it is to be your own true love, to nurture yourself in the best possible way because there is a whole world of possibility in that relationship. And you will always be there for you. xoxoxoxo

  36. I want to give a very big shout out to all your readers and writers here. My biggest hits on my blogsite are from you all. Thank you, Deb and Barb for helping my blog to grow. I fixed the link so anyone now interested can follow me directly. I would love to have you all join. Thanks again for being so loyal to my little bit of the world. Love to you Deb and Barb for making this happen. Shout out to Canadians. Now if I could only see your shows.

  37. Barb, I decided to take Kelly 2 because the other Kelly has a picture. Theoretically I *could* sign in to my Google account and have a picture, too, but then we'd probably be back to confusion. Besides, Kelly 2 kind of makes me think of Kelly 2.0; having survived the software industry, it makes me giggle.

    Anyhow. One of the reasons I loved reading this post so much is something that literally did not occur to me until about 4am this morning, but Colin actually said right in his section: it's a violation of the bro code.

    I saw, first through the idealism of a child, and then the bitter disaffectedness of a teen, and finally a grown woman with a divorce under her belt, the love and joy and partnership between my parents. While Mom, being of the sparkling cleaner variety of woman (as opposed to me, who routinely fails to CLEAN ALL THE THINGS), would talk about falling in love with Dad and their wedding and funny little things, it's something I never heard Dad talk about - I only saw Dad show. And he did show it all the time, even though the fights and working in different countries and all the things that happen when you've been married as long as they were.

    My parents had been married for, I think 35 years, when my mother passed away in 2007. Since then, Dad has talked more, in bits and pieces, about Mom and their life and love, but never in something as tangible as this.

    So as much as I think Deb and Barb are both extremely lucky to have found such open and caring (and funny and kind and handsome, I'll just lay it on thick for extra credit) men to cleave unto, as it were... I think your children are even luckier, to have fathers who set such a beautiful, honest, and now forever on the internet, example.

  38. Deb, Barb, Colin, and Phil,

    I do not know how to express the heart melting, eyes watering, spirit lifting feeling I had while reading this.

    As a single 19 year old girl whose parents are going through what may end in separation, you have given me a new view and a rejuvenated sense of hope as to what true love really is. Real men who adore their wives and aren't afraid to "break the bro code" and strong women who don't take that love for granted.

    I hope someday, to love and be loved the same way you all have found love in your lives. Thank you so much for sharing!!

    <3 Jacquie

  39. Madge, that's so wonderful to hear! Thanks!

    Kelly2, boy did you sum it up at the end there with the example for the kids. That has been such a gift! Thanks for your comment.

    And Jacquie, thank you too. Such beautiful thoughts, all of you! My parents also broke up when I was 19, but they both found great love later in their lives and are now very happily re-married.



  41. I second that Barb. Happy Father's Day to all the Dad's we love. Our family just left after a lovely sunny poolie father's day and I have on half a brain cell left. SUCH a crazy weekend and week. So...I will say after having read everything since my last comment that you are all dolls! ALL DOLLS! I LOVE the insights and the stories and the quotes that will go into my "treehouse" for safe keeping. It is so wonderful to make beautiful connections to things. And each of you with your involvement, make our word a little tinier and a little warmer.

  42. As soon as I can see my computer screen through my ridiculous tears, I will post this link to my fb page. Oh man, really. I miss things when I'm not at your blog.

  43. Amazing post. Thanks for sharing. :)

  44. Reading this 4-way has taught me something. Instead of sitting here as a "green-eyed monster" at the end of her second marriage, I'm over-joyed that two people I've met (as opposed to 'know') are so in love with each other, and so able and WILLING to express it, not only to each other, but to anyone who wishes to read it And then to have a second couple do the exact same thing?? It touches my heart in a way I never expected it to.

    (Shoot, could this possibly be maturity I'm experiencing within? At 43?? The devil you say!)

    I owe my thanks to all 4 of you for opening my heart just a little wider today.


  45. Oh Dawn, thank you! This means so much. And I do think we mellow with age when it comes to the green-eyed monster. Or at least I think we should strive to ;) I absolutely know I have in so many ways. xo

  46. I've been a huge fan of Colin from "who's line" for 10+ years. I had no idea until this year he was so happily married...but it makes perfect sense...he has a radiating joy in everything he does...and now we know why :)

  47. Words can not describe how I felt when reading this. All of you have spoken truly Beautiful words. Colin and Deb, you are both so amazing and great role models for how a marriage should be you have spoken and touched my heart deeply. LOVE you both. Phil and Barb you as well have spoken to my heart. nothing but happy tears filled my eyes when reading. Truly happy for all of you that you have found the one that makes your heart happy.

    Katelyn XOXO

  48. Wow! Thanks to Colin for tweeting/retweeting this out today. I doubt I ever would have seen it in the archives. And that would have been a tragic loss. This is the most beautiful and personal article on marriage I have read in some time. Thanks for sharing this with all of us. I feel blessed!

  49. You lucky ladies, you. So envious of you.. Hope to one day find a man as wonderful as both of you. First have to get over this insane crush on Colin.. :( Can any man ever measure up..

  50. I was completely not expecting so much sweetness when I saw the title "Four-way" and that the guys were writing with you. You are two lucky ladies, Deb and Barb. You have found two guys who care for you two more than life itself, and it's something we tend to forget as life goes by, so seeing that you don't is quite refreshing. Congrats on catching this pair :)

  51. When I first read the title and realized the guys were writing too, I was not expecting so much sweetness and love. It was incredibly refreshing to come across so much cuteness. You two are lucky ladies, Deb and Barb. You found yourself two men who love you more than life itself, and it is not something you see every day. Congratulations :)

  52. Deb and Colin, you guys rock.

    Your former house painter, Tish

  53. This is so sweet and I 'awwwweeed' more times than I would like to admit while reading it and maybe I kinda sorta teared up a little.
    Congratulations to both of you for finding love and keeping at it all this time. Posts like this make me think the world is not as awful as it often seems and that maybe my usual disdain towards marriages and romance is entirely misplaced.
    I'm hoping you will never be sort of this happiness and love that all of you seem to be so full off. <3


  54. Dang...

    You are all awesome. All four of you. You're examples that people can really love each other and be happy, and if not, at least write damn convincingly.

    From a little different perspective than most of the commenters so far, I raise my glass to the two parents most kids nowadays only wish they had, Colin and Deb, and Phil and Barb. To love and all its weird greatness.

  55. this was beautiful thank you all for sharing!

  56. Thanks, Colin, for linking to this gem again. Am totally verklempt reading it over. Thanks to all you lovelies for coming along for this ride with us and leaving your thoughts! xoxo

  57. This made me tear up. Thank you so much for sharing your stories. Your marriages are a beautiful testimony and inspiration to young people such as myself. And I admire you greatly for that. -Pauline, 20

  58. Thank you all for sharing this. I can't even express how much this has moved me. In a world seemingly full of cynicism and apathy, it's amazing to know that this kind of love and dedication exists and thrives.

    It also reminds me what I want in life. I will gladly be single until I can find THIS.

  59. My older friend and his wife shared Love in their own and unique way. Unfortunately the last few years have had his wife on life-support in a nursing home. Being in their mid-fifties, they've celebrated 26 years of marriage. It doesn't look good for a 27th. Cherish moments with your significant other whenever possible.

  60. Beautiful, proof that true love still exists.. <3


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