Monday, April 30, 2012

The Boy, The Girl, And Us

Deb: We just came back from packing up the boy in Montreal. He is finished his four post-secondary years. He is now entering the world of work. His New York years were wonderful for him and he grew as a person in many regards. He learned how to pay bills, care for apartment and self, and he gained a huge amount of smarts and independence. And most importantly he learned how to live alone and like it. To live alone and like it is a wonderful thing. In my twenties I lived alone and adored it. Although I am a very social creature I never wanted a roommate and, as a result, the only thing I had to sacrifice to accomplish this was space. I always had a tiny bachelor apartment, but it was blessedly all mine. The value of enjoying your own company is such a boon to your self-esteem. But, of course, no man or woman is an island, so when the boy got lonely, we would go down or he would come up, either to visit us or the girl.

We are a very close, loving team we three. And although I know he adores us and gets along with us, I also know in my heart what he will want after living independently for so long: to have his own place. I figured this would not happen immediately as he would have to save money, but I knew it would be his goal. The concept of this does not hurt me in the least, nor does it hurt my husband. We understand and remember that fresh feeling of adulthood with its accompanying freedoms. I remember like it was yesterday that proud feeling of locking my very first apartment door with my very first key. Those first months after moving out on my own, I walked three feet off the ground proudly knowing I was coming and going as I pleased and answering to no one but myself. I should add at this point that the “apartment” I was bursting with pride over was so small, that if you stood at the end of my pullout couch when it was a bed, you could both open the fridge and do the dishes.

These last four years have been the “holidays” stage of our lives together where the boy would come home “officially” for holidays and breaks between school and camp councilor duties. The three of us always look so forward to these visits.  So we weren’t sure what these next few years would bring. We knew the boy would be working and writing and trying to start his career. We also thought that he and the girl might be traveling. Then the girl got into the University of Toronto for her chosen course and, well ... long story a tad shorter ... they are moving in with us!  Yes, we jumped at it. There wasn’t even a moment’s hesitation. Not only does the boy love this girl, but over these years we have grown to love her like a daughter.  Add to that, she is leaving her parents for the first extended period of their lives and I think it may help them to know she is being loved and cared for as they enter their “holiday” years.

I also know that they could get a little apartment somewhere in Toronto together. Some little postage stamp hovel to call their own, and I know at some point, they will. But right now we wanted them to have a kick-start home. We wanted them to know that we are there for them as they start phase two of their lives. We have talked over the pitfalls and potential problem areas, as is my wont. I am a great believer in laying out the groundwork so there are as few surprises as possible. As Colin said to them, “We are now officially roommates and as such we treat each other and the host house with mutual respect.” And I know they will. For our part, we plan to live together and let live together. We are making some changes to the house to make it a larger breathing space. Not a renovation, just some strategic moving around of stuff. We want them to feel that this is their home too, where they can entertain their friends independent of us. And we will savour their time with us because we know that somewhere along the line they will want their own little place and we’ll be fine with that. And we will never regret offering them a loving transition.

So we are very excited because there is going to be lots of giggling and love in the house, and it won’t just be Colin’s and mine.

Barbara: So sweet, Deb! Now that I’m seeing the end of “communal living” here—because that is surely what we’ve come to: our girls now share all the grownup chores and act like adults (most of the time!)—I am watching your next stage with interest. On the one hand, we’ve just brought the younger daughter home for the summer (and it is bittersweet for her: she loves being home, she misses her true independence), on the other hand, when she leaves for university again in the fall, our older daughter, the one who has just graduated, will probably be moving out of her childhood home. Quite possibly (and according to her, absolutely for certain), this move will be for good. And so I face the next year with more quiet, more aloneness, fewer dishes. I am not afraid of it, but it does loom. I am sure I will quietly envy your games’ nights and your family meals. Until the holidays, that is, and my own full house again. In the meantime, I will drink in this summer of noise, mess, and laughter!

82 comments:

  1. What an experience to be going through! Funny thing is...my mother is going through something similiar: I have my own place now and she is trying to get used to it. I lived at home for the first couple of years of university (only a 30 minute drive away) because I did not think I could live with a roommate and to help with my grandmother. Now that I am older, I have a need to be more independent, to screw up and figure it out on my own (okay, probably with mom's help).
    It's a fun, exciting, yet at the same time bittersweet time in my life. I look around the house and remember everything that I experienced in it. I remember getting ready for my high school graduation and packing for a vacation...
    On to the next chapter, I guess!

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  2. Yes Steph it's on to the next chapter and that is a good thing right? These moments are tough but they are part of life and when Luke left home for school, we were so upset an then, it becomes the norm and it feels right. You and your Mom will get used to it, I promise.

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    1. Yeah, I'm ready to be alone for a while. Not lonely alone, but get to know me alone, if that makes any sense. The only thing I'm really having a problem with at the moment is figuring out how to talk about it. As in, which house is home? Right now, it is a bit confusing.
      I hope that Luke and his girl stay close to you even when they get their own place.

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    2. Home is where your hart is. Others are just appartments /flats /places to stay. Aka I am going home to see my parents and I going to my flat. ;-)

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  3. Oh Wow...THIS IS SO AWESOME !!!! So happy for all of you...You guys are gonna have so much fun...
    AAAAh and living alone.....that must be THE BEST! I am sucha social creature...But I loooove being alone...!!! As much as I LOVE my home and my mom...I so wish I could get like an independent apartment...and live by myself....It all sounds soooo Delicious...except for cooking by myself ofcourse! And it is gonna happen soon enough...the next chapter of my life begins next year....when I'll move to a different continent, different country....and and start a fresh new LIFE !!!!! Soooo many things to do....Ofcourse I'll miss my mom. She is the most important part of my life...and I wont feel lonely much..coz I'm moving to this wonderful city and two of my gorgeous friends live there ya know Barbara Radecki and Deb Mcgrath...YEAH BABY...I'M MOVING TO TORONTO !!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I really wish you didnt see that coming.....if you did....please act surprised :P) But yeah...it wasnt sure before...but it is now....next year!! Really REALLLY can't wait. to get on my own feet and GALLOP around !!!!!! I am planning to apply for a wonderful traditional arts course which will be so beneficial for me as an artist.I'm so looking forward to it! It will be a little difficult at first (Mom gets a little mushy sometimes...I don't....I directly START WEEPING....what can I say I'm a weeper) But It will be fine...And I'm sure my mom wants that too......Right now...I'm just trying to get her to knit me a sweater with a BIG "S" on it....I'm not moving until then..I guess shes just snoozing...It probably reminds her that I'm gonna go soon....We'll be fine...!!! Can't stick around with the past coz its familiar...GOTTA KEEP GOING....!!! MOVE FORWARD...pep talk just comes outta me..You must be used to it by now :D .I'm thinking I should become a motivational speaker or something..! But seriously...Cannot wait for the next chapter to begin...and Enjoying every OUNCE of this chapter of my life...and make it a HAPPY ENDING! or should I say HAPPY BEGINNING !!! :D

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    1. Shalaka!!!! WOW!!!! Sooooooooooooooo excited for you!!! Brain explodingly excited or you!!!!!! YAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!!! I keep trying to think of rational sentences to type to have a discussion about this with you, but I just end up falling into a big, happy burst of SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! Oh, how completely wonderful and adventurous and fabulous for you!!!!!!!

      Please, please, please blog your time in Toronto! I'll gobble up every word and picture!!! :)

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    2. Wow! Congrats! I am so jealous that I don't know what to say. I am really happy for you. :))

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    3. OHHHHELL YES RIGEL...!!! I AM EXCITED TOO....wooohoooo I mean for another reason....Well I will meet Deb in person this December..but then I can meet BARB TOO!!!! woooooooohooo!!!!
      Awwh....I am up for discussion baby.......I'll tell ya when I'm done squeeeling and jumping !! and we'll talk :D

      Awwwh Kasku thanks.....Jealous eh ?? I STILL LOVE YOU :P !!!! I know...joyous moment !!!

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    4. Oh wow! You too?!?! Congrats, girl! I would love to move to another country (or even another state) but I just can't leave my mom alone. I am her only child and this has been a rough year dealing with loss. She has already said she has the whole 'empty nest syndrome'.
      I am so EXCITED for you! And Toronto?! Jealous a bit here. Wish I could at least visit. Have fun there and cause some trouble!!

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    5. Thanks sweetie....AWWH ANYTIME MY LOVE....YOU CAN VISIT ANYTIME..!! and yeah I know the feeling...I am my moms only child too...I feel the same thing sometimes....But once I settle there...I'll MAKE her come and live with me for MONTHS !! She has a dream of travelling around the world...and I wanna help make it come true !!! Toronto is JUST the first step .......

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  4. WOW Shalaka I did NOT see that coming! That is fantastic news!!!!! And trust me, you will both be sad at the beginning but you will adjust! Thank heaven for Skype!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  5. This has me sooooooo excited!!! Holly and I are signing our first lease on Thursday for our own place!

    Shalaka: good luck with the move! HOW SUPER EXCITING!!! :D

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    1. Kelly and Holly! Time for an online, virtual housewarming party for you!!!

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    2. Kelly and Holly this is a wonderful moment in your lives. So happy for you both!

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    3. SO HAPPY FOR YA BOTH !!!! WOOOHOOO...... YEAH RIGEL...I'll get the VIRTUAL BOOOZE !!!!!

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    4. Congrats! It looks like we are all on the move! ;)
      Party time!!!!

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    5. Sorry it took me so long to weigh in here (crazy day yesterday) but I just want to add my congrats to all you young people who are now onto the exciting next phases of your lives!!! I love watching it from this side, knowing the whole world is ahead of you and that you all have such amazing attitudes about your futures! Good luck xoxo

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    6. Awwh thanks my dear..! LOVE YOU xoxo

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  6. Once again, Deb, I stand in awe and adoration of your family. The vibe y'all have, the way y'all function, the way y'all approach each other, is so alien to what I know with my family. Luke is an incredibly, tremendously, hugely blessed man to have y'all. And, now, Megan is, too.

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    1. Well back at you Rigel. The things you make happen for you and Eddie, the efforts you make the sacrifices. You are this family too!

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  7. I KNOW !!!! Thanks Kelly I'm super excited !!!
    Yeah Deb, SKYPE will always come for the rescue....! And if not...I can always come to you or Barb to weep right ?? :P :D.

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    1. Oh yes, we will set up a weeping chair in the corner!

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    2. Sounds like we all need a weeping chair in our lives! :D

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    3. Sounds AWESOME!!!! Lets call it the WEEPING THRONE if you will!!! I'll get a robe for myself made of tissues...ya know just in case :P

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  8. What a coincidence! The moving truck full of my son & his girlfriend's belongings is sitting in our driveway, awaiting the unload. They (and their cat) are joining us for just a month, while they wait for the current tenants to clear out of their apartment. It's a full house, to be sure, with our three younger kids and two cats here as well. We are soaking up the laughter and feeling of closeness, as we know that this is likely to be the last time he lives under our roof. Tonight we will enjoy his favourite meal and a game of Munchkin together.

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    1. Cari that is sooooooooo lovely, so so lovely. Have fun! You are savouring it for sure, you are wise!

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    2. When it gets to be too much of a good thing, I will adopt your words as my mantra!

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    3. Cari, good luck with all! Do keep us posted as to your sitch. Might be fun to compare notes ;)

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  9. I totally admire your family Deb !! Really wish to have sucha wonderful family in the future !!

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  10. You will Shalaka, you will. Because you would not settle for anything less!

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    1. Oh HELL YEAH!!!....and I wont have to....I create my future....and I intend to make it AWESOME!!!!!

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  11. Wow. What to say? Congratulations for having a full house. Hmmm, wow... That's it. That's all my dear brain seems to be able to think about. Just simply WOW. It is not a bad wow, let me assure you. I am just so amazed.

    I have been 15 when me and my sis moved out, lived together for two years in our school accomodation thingy. During that time, our mother visited us three times maybe? But never mind that.

    Wow... I am still so amazed. My head just wants to repeat really and wow, but I won't repeat that here. Um, yeah. Congratulations! *wow* *really?*

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    1. Kasku thanks, we are really looking forward to it!!!

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    2. Aw, Kasku, I feel for you. You said it yourself (points up) that home is where the heart is. I think you will make your present and future homes as full of love as you can despite your own experience growing up. Breaks my heart that not every home is loving and safe.

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  12. Deb and Colin congrats on the new arrivals! There is nothing to fill a house up then the sound of happy voices. Good luck to everyone, I know it's going to be an adventure that's for sure. You must be so excited about this new phase, Luke is a very lucky young man!

    I'm glad you wrote about this Ricky is about to finish up his Associates Degree and then wants to move to Vegas to get his Bachelors. As a mom I am terrified and I still cry when he goes back up to school. I still miss both my kids terribly and the house has seemed so empty. I hope I can have my granddaughter over more and more maybe for over nighters eventually? I have hope now that the house will once again seem full.

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    1. Mary yes, the sound of happy voices and these two are a very happy twosome! Missing kids is part of this time of life isn't it?

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  13. Holly, Kelly, and Shalaka: You'll get a 2nd round of exhilarating freedom and new adventure after raising a family! You'll have fresh times of newness again and again through time.

    New place to live? New freedom? New way of life? Well, I'm culling, thinning, and rearranging with an eye towards setting up a new (much leaner, transportable, unburdened) household, too. It would appear that I am about 17 months out from my whole world changing. The plan of the moment is that when my son starts high school, he will shift to living mostly with his father. I will not be 24/7 hands-on mommy of high maintenance son anymore. Does this make me curl up and cry on the inside? Yes. I look at his 7th grade, 13 1/2 year old, now over 5' tall, over 100 pounds self, and tear up missing the 2 year old running around in Superman pajamas. I've had many a sobbing fit over the idea of having an empty nest.

    OK, gotta stop where that paragraph's going right now, or I'll be a bawling wreck for the rest of the day. Moving along...

    The flip side to this is that I will get to have a delicious, delirious amount of freedom. I will have turned 40 and will be most definitely fully engaged in a midlife crisis. Trying to think of this next phase in my life, I'm kind of flailing about, completely at a loss for how to manage such freedom and potential for adventure! I'm becoming dangerous! I'm definitely getting out of hand imagining untold mischief. Everything's been "NO" for so long that I don't quite know how to behave when things become "YES." (I'm even rattled by strong maybes!)

    I didn't have a misspent youth. I'm seriously considering having a misspent couple of years. I think I may need to get some foolishness out of my system before settling back down and starting to cobble together my dream of a little homestead. I absolutely still want that dream. I just think I need to stretch and wiggle a little bit first. Dust myself off a bit.

    I'm shocked at how irresponsible and unrespectable I have the potential to be. Shocked!

    (And, for the record, Barbara is egging me on! Crazy woman! Y'all, if you need someone to rein you in and talk you out of something, do NOT email Barbara! LOL She's mischief to the power of infinity!)

    A few months ago, I began a thought experiment: what if every option was worth considering? What if I didn't rule anything out? What if every daydream was a valid contender? This thought experiment has proven very dangerous, indeed. I am not the intelligent, rational creature I thought I was.

    Not at all.

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    1. "I'm even rattled by strong maybes!" Love this!!!
      I was always the 'goody-two-shoes' girl, still am really, so now I am thinking of ways to get myself into trouble...only I'll be in trouble with myself. (Am I talking anyone else into a circle here, or is it just me?!) Maybe I'll...oh crap, I don't know yet!

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    2. Sweetie, *BIG-HUG* ok here comes the pep talk...Dust yourself up...and start afresh! I dunno much, I haven't lived much, But I know one thing. DREAMS.COME.TRUE!! You just have to believe....you know what you want....don't lose hope!!
      That was FREE ADVICE...TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT ...lol..:P....

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    3. Steph -

      "only I'll be in trouble with myself"

      Makes PERFECT sense.

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    4. Yes I also loved strong maybes! Adventure is what we should live every day because hell, that's what life is. If it's not an adventure then I don't know what. But sadly the stuff of stuff distracts us. I second Barb's emotion Rigel. Go baby Go!

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    5. *stares at Deb*

      *stares pointedly at Barbara* *frowns all wrinkly forehead lines*

      Barb, I don't think she's read that email, yet. And, yes, I saw your Sunday email. I was just way too tired after work to reply. And, yes, I heard what you said. But...

      *stomach proceeds to start churning again*

      Wait, wait, wait.

      *straightens spine* *defiantly lifts chin* *flexes arms and hands, gets ki flowing* *finds center and settles weight onto legs in good stable stance.* *breaths from hara* OK. OK. Here we go.

      And, for the record, "strong maybes" are big progress for me. I'm allowing my mind to play daring new games. I'm not quite comfortable with allowing myself yesses, yet. But, I'm flexing my spirit and getting in some practice with strong maybes. Like I said, I'm getting dangerous.

      I like these. A LOT. A whole lot. Like, a staggering amount of like.

      http://pinterest.com/pin/21884748159389326/

      http://pinterest.com/pin/21884748159389327/

      http://pinterest.com/pin/21884748159345987/

      http://pinterest.com/pin/21884748159348851/

      Also, for the record, Deb, 1 year and 21 days ago was a huge adventure for me, a daring risk of reaching out. A HUGE yes. And, the aftermath of Conway is actually what helped start sowing some of these seeds of outrageousness.

      I'm gonna die more sooner than later. I really need to get busy with living.

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    6. You know I want you to go for all of this, Rigel. We are here watching and cheering from the sidelines. It's more fun if you have an army of supporters behind you :) So now you gotta do it. Bwa ha ha ha ha!

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  14. Ohh...since I revealed my "MOVING TO TORONTO" news... I would love to share something really cute.
    .. Now I always wanted to move to a different country, be independent and see the world, TRAVEL...everything ya know....But wasn't ready for it..it was a big decision...But recently I got a feeling that I'm ready...slowly sifting through my options and talking to a professional Councillor I decided TORONTO was a way to go! the other day when we talked to the councillor I took my mom with me..She needed to be there when I made the biggest decisions Ive had to make. And we both got really mushy when I decided to move right after I get my degree which is next year. So, On Our way back home she was thinking and then she looks at me and asks, "which college are you planning to apply to ??" and I replied "Probably Sheridan or Humber in Toronto" so she said "Barb lives in Toronto right ??" I said "Yeah, Deb lives there too" and then innocently said "Phew, thats great, if they are around you WON'T FEEL LONELY OR HOMESICK"
    That was so cute...I kept thinking How much I was gonna miss her innocence....and her cooking...!!

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    1. AWW...So sweet! Yeah, my mom asks me when I've last 'talked' to Barbara and Deb on here. She thinks these ladies are great (they are, of course). What a sweet moment you had with your mom.
      I too will miss my mom's cooking, especially considering my cooking skills are...well...let's just say I can make a mean bowl of cereal!
      ;)

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    2. LOL...me too !! Awwh I can relate to so many things with ya....I well make really good chai latte....thats it!
      Yeah my mom thinks they are awesome too..I mean DUH!!! And I talk to Barb a lot on FB... so every time I'm typing away and smiling...with a twinkle in my eye...shes looks at me and goes "BARB ???" and I'm like "HELL YES..."

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    3. That is a sweet story Shalaka, your Mom is holding up very well. It won't be easy on her but I know you will be the loving daughter that makes her feel missed and wanted.

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    4. You guys are so wonderful! But I have to agree -- knowing I can always find you here really makes me feel better!

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    5. ALWAYS BABY...here or TELEPATHICALLY ;)

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  15. Here is the other side. Both of my sons went away to college across the country. I loved my space and loved that they were exploring on their own. I got married at 19 and went to college locally. I wanted my sons to marry much later and didn't encourage them living at home after college, My older son never came home after college until recently with a family of five. They lived here with me for 5 months until they moved down the block. I was ready for them to move out and relished my time by myself. Maybe getting married so young for 20 years, I wanted my own independence. My younger son came home from college for 6 months. I had a plan in place with him to be gone within the year to a job he loved.He had three months free and then I started charging him to get him moving faster. It would cost him as much to live with me as to live by himself by the end of the year. He needed the push and was thankful for the push when most of his friends returned home with no costs to anyone but the parents. When both my sons and their families lived 2000 miles away I visited with the grand kids every six weeks and that worked perfect for all of us. I wanted my independence and so did they. Now that my older son and family live on my block, we have created great boundaries and it works (even though I was shocked when he announced their plans). This was the son I thought would never come back. I have this amazing relationship with both my sons and their families and I think it works because we all have our space. All independent and happy. Just wanted to show the other side of the coin. I know each family does what works for them and in the end if all our happy and productive that is all we can ask for. No drama is my motto.

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    1. Hi Madge I appreciate the other side, thanks. We really have a pretty large space here and we've worked hard to make it even more livable. And the beauty of it is, we are all really social and all really to ourselves too. I have never felt them, in all their visits together, to be in the way. I don't like drama either and I am also very good at setting up these kind of respectful boundaries. I have faith that it is going to be a great period in our lives that we will look back on with great fondness. Thanks for the little reminders. Always helps!

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  16. Just wondering, but do you think it makes a difference if the child moving away is a boy or girl? Deb, you have the boy coming home and you and Colin dealt with him leaving for school before. And Barbara has dealt with Stefanie leaving and visiting...I'm just curious. Especially about how fathers react. Mothers seem to stay attached equally, but do fathers worry more about daughters than sons living on thier own? Would Colin have reacted differently if you had a daughter instead? How do you think Phil would have reacted had you had a son leave home for school? I have an older half-brother, but the age difference is so much that I don't remember him leaving home for the first time. Just wondering here...

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    1. Steph so great you asked this because we had this very discussion on holiday the four of us and both men said it felt different with it being a girl going away. Not that you would miss them more at all, but just that you would worry about them more. I would feel the same with a boy or a girl, I am sure of it. I could NOT have worried about Luke more or I would be dead from a heart attack but I will never know for sure as I never had a girl. For me, it's about sizing up the person. I am sure that some parents of boys and girls have been more nervous about certain types of boys and less nervous about certain types of girls. You know how you look at certain people and just know they are going to be okay no matter what age? I think it depends on the human. Colin has not had a girl and Phil has not had a boy so I guess none of us will ever know for sure. Great question. Thanks for bringing it up!!!

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    2. I'm so sorry it took me so long to get back to these amazing comments. It's a great question, Steph! I have to agree with Deb (although I can't say for sure). I truly think the person's character dictates how much you worry. I really knew my younger daughter was ready for her move and independence. So I worried more about the stuff that I worry about here: her safety. I would worry equally about that were she a boy. I do think in theory Phil worries more about girl-vulnerability than he might have with a boy -- but he would have loved a boy just as much and where's the line of worry when it comes from that deep abiding love?

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  17. Ahh the joys of college summer break. I just came home Friday and am already enjoying the benefits of being home. Like good food : )
    So glad you guys have got the kids home for a while <3

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    1. Kelly how lovely for you. Yes the boy will be enjoying same in two days time. The girl comes later! Have fun!

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    2. Kelly that is wonderful. Enjoy all that home has to offer! Boy will be home on Thursday enjoying same. Girl comes later!

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  18. What a great way to address this transition. We'll have Chloe back part time this summer, but I know it's only a matter of months before she will likely be getting her own place. I think we're ready for that. I think.

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    1. It's one part ready/ one part not. And it seems to manifest like that too. One part wonderful/one part missing them.

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  19. Sounds like a lot of fun is to come. I love exploring new ways of being, of thinking, of living. A whole new experience to enjoy!

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    1. Yes Erin a whole new experience! Can't wait.

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  20. How exciting! :D
    I wish my parents were as supportive as ya'll are. After the Summer I'm moving halfway across the country to go to a university for my first year in college, and every day my mother explains why it's a foolish decision because no girl my age should be so far away from her family. I know she'll miss me, but it stings that she doesn't want to emotionally support my choice.
    Best of luck to ya'll, sounds like an adventure in the making :D

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    1. Thanks Hannah-Elizabeth, and may I be so bold as to give you another point of view on your Mom for what it's worth. Her lack of support is probably far closer to fear for you and of missing you. So it comes out like lack of support because she is praying if she does, you might not go. Yet deep down she wants you to have adventure too. The conflict of being a Mom. I may be wrong but it's another way to look at it.

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  21. Wow, Deb, that sounds wonderful! Do you have room for five more?

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    1. Sure Eileen, BYO sleeping bag!!!

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  22. That is great that you are so excited to have the girl move in, Deb.
    You are very considerate to give them their own space for entertaining!!
    We have had daughter's partners living with us, and it is a lesson in patience and joy.
    Mutual respect is important, no doubt.
    You are fortunate to seize the opportunity to spend quality time with boy and girl before they get their own place.
    I value the little quality time I get with my girls even though one lives with me part time.
    She is so busy with her own life.
    Planning and communication are important too.
    Enjoy! and remember - don't sweat the small stuff.

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  23. you are SO RIGHT! Don't sweat the small stuff.

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  24. Deb that is so great! You're all so lucky to have each other and enjoy each others company so much. Sounds wonderful. Let me know if you need another person to be a tie breaker or what have you. I'm available. ;)
    Hugs and envy,
    Karen

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    1. A tie breaker is always a great thing to have. I'll keep you in mind Karen!

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  25. That's so cool! Yay for you guys! I have to stay at home because if I move out staying at uni would become totally impossible financially. Besides there are some reasons to stay a little longer. I come and go as I please, make all of my own decisions and my independence is in no way threatened by continuing to live here. Thank goodness, too, 'cause if someone tries to take away my freedom to choose I am not happy. Not happy at all.

    But agai, seriously cool for you guys! So great that you get to enjoy this new period in your lives!

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    1. Aimee it sounds like you have the perfect set up! And you appreciate it which is wonderful!

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  26. I hope everything works out for all of you. That you are going into it so positively is a HUGE sign that you're starting out on the right path. Enthusiasm helps, too.

    I moved back home after each divorce. My mother says she doesn't mind, but my dad certainly does. I think it's the principal of the thing, but he'd really rather have free reign of the house. Of course, at my age, I was hoping to have free reign of my own space. It just hasn't worked out the way.

    Yes, I'm lucky I had a place to go (come to) after my second divorce. I really don't know where my cats and I would have gone if I couldn't come here, so there's that. At some point, I'll be moving forward (read: out) again.

    At least my parents accept my 2 cats. They fit right in with the three that were already here.

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    1. We are creatures of habit aren't we? I'm sure that a part of your Dad is happy you are there but has just gotten used to his life the way it was before. As you say, bottom line is, you have a place for you and your cats till you can get sorted out and move. Good luck with all of it!

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  27. That's me. I don't know how I did that signature.

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    1. I had no idea! Thanks Dawn. And...best of luck with your living arrangements!

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    2. I think you are amazing, Dawn, for managing all you have to with such spirit!

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  28. How lovely, and how beautiful that you get along so well with your son's partner. My parents have 2 boys and 2 girls, and my mum was always scared of the saying "a daughter's a daughter all of your life, a son's just a son 'til he takes a wife". But we all moved various partners into the family home at different times, and for the most part it went really well. Crowded but happy!
    I dream of having a similar situation to you when my one little golden boy grows up and is finding his way in the world!

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  29. Crowded but happy. I like that. I have heard that saying many times and I hope it does not turn out that way. I don't think it will.

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  30. WOW u must have mucho bathrooms!!!!

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  31. Good, so glad to have hope there is life after the kids leave. Thanks for that inspiring story!

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