A Sing Along Life

Deb: Well, I cannot begin to tell you how glorious my parents 65th anniversary party was! But I will try.

After a lovely long hot summer here in Toronto, the weather predicted rain—thunderstorms and the like. True to the weather report, the heavens opened the night before with thunder and lightning and we woke up to pouring rain. So we made our peace with it and decided that it was going to be what it was going to be, and we let it go. But the anniversary gods were smiling because 20 minutes before the first doorbell rang, the clouds parted and the sun came out. The spirit of the day remained sunny inside and out. I was so proud for my parents as each one of approximately 120 guests came in through the door, loving them and paying tribute to their marriage and their indomitable spirit.

Their three grandchildren and my brother and I toasted Mom and Dad, and my friend Cheryl read beautiful poems she had written for them. The sing-along was just a joyful sound of willing voices, and we sang everything from “April Showers” to “High Hopes”. I wasn’t quite sure how it would be received, but I am telling you, it was so evocative of a time gone by for everyone there, especially my Mom’s family who spent every family dinner and gathering over the years doing sing-a-longs. The food was unbelievable and easy to eat, thanks to our dear friend Sandy, who catered the event and left no stone unturned in the planning. She considered my parents special likes and needs every step of the way, and made sure that they were catered to first and foremost, with them as paramount. And she topped it off with a layer slab cake that each guest signed with a coloured gel-frosting pen!

But it was what it meant to my Mom and Dad that will always stay with me. They were so thrilled to see their extended family and old and new friends come together. The feeling in the room was such a swell of love for these two people and I know that they felt that and took it all in. I think in a spiritual way, the day did more for them than every single pill in their blister packs.

Recently I have been taping my Mom and Dad talking about their lives, and it has been so wonderful to hear all of their stories and memories. As I asked each question they would answer immediately and sometimes differently. But when I asked them what has been, for them, the greatest thing about their time on earth, they both answered at the same time without even thinking: ”It’s the people.”

And it was, indeed, all about the people at this party. It was a celebration of present friends and absent friends. And as I looked around at each sweet face and snapped slews of happy pictures, Jim and Anne’s Anniversary Sing-a-Long Party, became one of those huge days in life that is endless in blessings.

Barbara: Aw, Deb, so so lovely! I am truly sorry we missed it, for I’ve been to a few of the events you’ve thrown for your parents over the years and they are always unique and special parties. I told you already, but I have to say again how much I love these photos! I love the character and feeling you've captured in every one.

As I mentioned last week, I was away in Montreal for the 25^th wedding anniversary of our very good friends. I am happy to report that our celebration—while not one of sing-alongs or Sandy’s cooking—was also a sweet reminder of great friends and wonderful memories and the special bond that comes from years of shared experience. And, while not Sandy’s, the food and drink were also extraordinary. It was just an unforgettable evening. And, what with our gastronomic anniversary dinner with my dad and stepmom, our delicious dinner at my mom’s with Michele, and several chances to see our daughter despite major scheduling overload, and despite the nerve-wracking and ongoing email snafus on my end, it was a truly wonderful weekend. Now back to reality!

The Party In The Prep

Deb: Often I blog about the aftermath of a party or event and its lovely results, complete with photos. But as I prepare for a big party we are throwing on Saturday, I am consumed with the preparation of it, both physical and emotional. My Mom and Dad are celebrating 65 years of marriage! The real date was August the 30^th, but we are having the celebration tomorrow!

What came to me as I decided to write this particular blog was the realization that an event planned with excitement, anticipation, and love, is in fact a big part of the event. The party itself is just the icing on the cake. I always feel sad when I hear tales of Bridezillas gone wild, for although I know there are stresses involved with planning a wedding, there also doesn’t have to be. I have had a very full plate with the planning of this party, but when you really think about it who doesn’t like to look down and see a full plate? A full plate of good things. First of all, my parents are 85-years-old and celebrating 65 years of marriage. Lucky, joyful, grateful does not begin to cover how I feel about that. Add to that the fact that I am going to see family, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends I have not seen in a long time. Perfect. Mom and Dad are going to connect with people they love that are not in their every days lives. They are going to be reminded of old times, good times, sweet times. Our home will be filled with the good spirit of family and friends here and departed. The party itself will be something Mom and Dad’s memories can dine out on for years to come.

My party planning excitement reached a new level when I decided to put an old-fashioned sing-along into the mix. When we were growing up, every single family gathering would burst into song. Grampa would play the accordion, everyone had their own party piece, and the whole group would rally to mutual favourites. We went through some old favourites of my parents and printed out lyrics from various websites and I am printing out song sheets for everyone. We are covering everything from “Swanee” to “Don’t sit under the apple tree” and it will be such fun. All singing levels welcome! My Mom and her darling beloved sister Isabel (she of the perfect harmonies) used to sing together; their party piece was “Sentimental Journey”. For this event my cousin and I are going to sing it. My cousin Scott will step in for his mom Isabel who died many years ago and, yes, I am already crying at the thought of it.  My parents are as excited as a kid on Christmas Eve. It will be a day to remember and I am already filled with anticipation. I guess that’s why I love Christmas Eve more than Christmas Day!

But throughout this planning and in the doing of it, I have been at the party. I have been there with every i dotted and every t crossed. Because I am wrapped up in the joy of anticipation. It is really like having the party twice. Once in my imagination and once for real. It has been so much fun answering the phone to find my brother on the other line saying things like, “What about this angle for the toast?” while we bounced ideas back and forth.

It brought to mind for me the blog we did a while back when we talked about hurrying to get stuff done so we can relax and enjoy ourselves and how it was making us miss any value in what we were hurrying to get through.  And I thought, Wow, if I had hurried through this, I would have missed half the fun. Literally half.

Party on! And on and on and on!

The beginning of 65 years together! Happy Anniversary, Nan and Jimmy! 

Barbara: Once again, Deb, you surprise and delight me with your refreshing new take on a thing. I am a major “planner” when it comes to anything, especially something as schmancy and special as a milestone party celebration. Usually I am vibrating with nerves and sweating up a feverish frenzy. What I never thought to do—even though, from experience our get-togethers abound with love and cheer and good energy—was enjoy that part: the lead-up, the planning, the antici………..pation. What a lovely, wonderful idea!!

As a side-note, we are sadly going to miss Deb’s party—we are off for the weekend to celebrate the 25^th wedding anniversary of our dear dear friends (and to finish moving our younger into her new apartment—sooooo looking forward to seeing her!). But we will think of you, Deb, and your parents and their (and your) wonderful friends enjoying and feasting and reveling. I can almost hear the singing from this point in the present!