Barbara: Warning: this is a bodily-function post and must not be read by anyone who prefers not to think of either Deb or myself as having bodily functions (ie, my husband. Bye, sweetie, love you!)
One of the best parts about my friendship with Deb is that she gives me the straight goods from the perspective of a woman a few years older. She’s often been there and done that. You have no idea how much easier she has made this road of Aging for me with her insight and humour. In fact, paying it back and forward is one of the reasons we started this blog.
Lesson number one from Deb was that at some point in my older years I might find myself peeing arbitrarily. You know, like not in toilets, and not when I expect it. As with much of Deb’s shared wisdom, I listen, I process, and I PRAY IT WON’T HAPPEN TO ME.
So after years of hearing pee stories (some of which I hope she’ll share here because––when it’s not happening to you––pee stories are very funny), I was horrified to find myself not once but TWICE in recent days spilling urine. Now the question is—what do you do about it???
Deb: First of all, Barb, thanks for saying that I am a “few” years older. Nine, really, but God bless you for that. Here is what I do:
1. I wear a pad or liner when I have a cold for the “sneezing and coughing” pee.
2. I ALWAYS take bathroom breaks. If I can sense a bathroom within 50 paces, I go.
3. I go whether I feel like it or not. Even releasing a bit can save a nice pair of shoes.
4. I do NOT hold it in if I can help it. Thought it helped and found out that it actually makes it worse.
5. I ALWAYS carry an extra pair of undies. Sometimes they make an appearance in public when they become attached to my keys or wallet. Don’t care. Worth it.
6. I have been known to have full on “like I am sitting on the toilet” pees when I laugh. I have done this on stage, on set, and on the street. Mortifying. What I do, is just laugh some more. I mean I’ve already peed. Might as well enjoy the laugh.
7. I pray that they will come up with something simple, natural and not surgical for this issue. NOT THE SLING. For me anyway. I have heard horror stories.
8. I figure, what are you going to do? So I just laugh it off and ... uh oh….
Oh well, that’s what the extra undies are for, right?
Barbara: I have been with Deb when she has filled her panties, so to speak. For something so potentially mortifying, her humour and aplomb turn peeing into a stand-up comedy routine.
Okay, Deb, you gotta tell at least one of your tales of pee.
Deb: I have a friend who simply cannot hold it. Got caught one day. She got into her car in the parking lot of a mall. The dam was bursting. She opened the back door to shield herself as she squatted beside her driver’s side. Suddenly, mid-stream, the guy who owned the car beside her walked up to his car. She pulled herself up quickly and said, “I, uhhh, what, I, the, I’m, it’s, why, I, can’t, uhhh …” He said with a smile, “If you gotta go, you gotta go”. God love him!
I have another friend who keeps a cup in her car.
And still another who keeps diapers in the glove compartment although her kids are grown. Genius all!
