Ten Second Life

Deb: I think I have already made it clear that I love the Olympics and watch every second I can make time for. I admire, above all, the drive and commitment and passion of the Olympians. I love focus. I love when people know what they want and let nothing stand in their way in accomplishing their goals and their dreams.

A Canadian newspaper critic was going on in his usual snide fashion about the 100 meter race and how foolish we are to make a big deal over it, given that it only lasts ten seconds. Today as I was waiting with bated breath for the men’s hundred meter to start, my husband surprised me by saying the same thing the critic had said. He wasn’t disparaging the 100 meters like the critic did, but he was saying in a nutshell that “it’s almost like watching Nascar, except given that it is only 100 meters, it’s over in ten seconds. I mean what are they going to do after it is over?”

Wow. We could not be farther apart in this regard because I see it as something else completely.

Firstly, all due respect to my husband, I do not view their race, their training, and their moment in or out of the sun, as something they need to parlay into something else. It is what it is, in that moment in time and all the time spent leading up to it.

To me the 100 meters is a glorious parallel of what life is and the living of it. Working and playing and loving the path that leads us, ever closer, to our goal. And that ten seconds? (or less than ten seconds if you saw today’s final) IS life, I think. It is this precious life of ours that gets shorter and shorter. At this stage of my life, I get it. What did I do with my ten seconds? What did I accomplish? And more that that, what can I still do with the seconds that are left?  Shorter and shorter it gets as we near our end time here on earth. I see that ten seconds as the brass ring that must be grabbed every time we wake up to another day.

Ten seconds is a lifetime and a lifetime is ten seconds. It makes glorious sense to me.

Barbara: Of course you know, Deb, that I am just as much of an Olympics fanatic as you are, and I want to tell you: I LOVE this analogy. First of all, I also LOVE the 100 meter race. It is exciting and dynamic in ways no other race can be. To me that’s the nutshell of “why do it”. No other race can give witness to that burst of human physical prowess or answer the question “what is the top human speed?” The other races, by comparison, must factor in stamina and endurance. But on a totally metaphorical sense, I think the comparison between life and the 100 meters is sublime. It is over in a flash, and so many of us—if not all—will ask at some point, “Well, why did we do it/bother/make such a big deal over it?” We’re all running it, whether we realize it or not. So let's train for it, fight for it, revel in it. Eat it up. It really does go by so very quickly... Just remember, the glory is in the running, not the final medal at the end.

Auto Focus

Deb: Barb’s quantum physics classes have brought many fascinating ideas to light and one of them is this idea of focus. Thank you, Barb, for Hocus Focus. My particular focus is that of a gadfly. It is not something I am particularly proud of, nor is it something I relish. But I struggle with my focus, which is why as I have mentioned my love for Transcendental Mediation and why it works for me. Trouble is, I keep forgetting to do it because every time I intend to, my mind flits to another idea or another task. I keep tons in my head. Tons. Really. Tons. I know that we all do so I am not setting myself up here as the busiest or the most pressured.

Although this is about me so...

The problem is, my brain is not orderly. My darn brain works as a catchall. Not a single filter in there. Every time I try to organize my brain into folders I will suddenly have a random thought and, as I turn my head to pursue it, all the ideas tumble out of my brain folders and onto my brain floor, scattered amongst the other grey matter (referring to my brain of course, not the fact that I am old). Although in fairness my hair is grey and I dye it. So full disclosure, from the neck up, I am technically all grey matter.

But, that doesn’t matter. What does matter is that I lack focus.

A small example of this is that while I was writing the first paragraph, I got up four times: once to phone my parents, once to get tea, once to put the dry cleaning at the front door, and once to write down an idea for another blog. Actually, I lie. I really did all those things before I wrote the sentence, “My particular focus is that of a gadfly”, which is what inspired me to write that sentence. The real truth is that between that sentence and the end of the paragraph I also searched through my purse for a chocolate covered caramel that I knew I had put in there and wanted to have with my tea. It was there, as it turned out. I ate it and now I am on a roll.

Okay, now to the point of the blog. I have been focus experimenting. I have been making a point to think only of one thing at a time and seeing where it leads.

My first experiment went like this:

Last week, because spring/summer came early to Toronto I was walking along, with visions of phone calls, to do lists, ideas, worries and tasks in my head. As I walked I decided to clear my head of “shoulds” and focus on the day, the beautiful warm sunny day. So I did. My brain fought back for a bit, like it was resisting being squeezed into a bikini too early before it had a chance to use self tanner. But then ... then it relaxed and all it could see and all it could think of was the stunning rapturous March summer day. And then a feeling swept over me. And it was all encompassing. I was a teenager again and I was walking to school on that first really honest to goodness warm day after the winter. And my coat was tied around my waist and the sun was on my face and everything was new and filled with freedom and thoughts of boys, and I felt teenaged sexy and young, and the world was my oyster and all my dreams were possible, every single one of them!

Now the fabulousness of this focus experiment was that—and this is key to the understanding of it—I had none of these thoughts. None of them. But I had all of the feelings. I was transported. I was back there in that time!

But the really fantastic thing was that at the end of the focus experiment, I was left with the resulting buoyancy. I did not feel that these were memories of a state of being. I was left with a feeling of the possibility of me NOW. Sure it’s easy when you’re young to dump the tasks and worries and chores when you want to. Isn’t that what youth is? We always say that youth is wasted on the young. The idea, of course, is that if I had known when I was young what I could do and what I had going for me I would have done so much more bla bla bla.

But what I have realized is that youth is started on the young and finished whenever you want it to finish. If you’re smart, your youth won’t finish till you’re dead. What a revelation I had. I did the focus experiment to see if I could focus. That’s all. Focus. But the focus gave me a parting gift that I did not expect. It helped me to see that whatever is happening in my life, be it good or bad, it is not set in stone. I can change it, simply by changing it. I can prattle on and on about what could have been, or stress about issues I am grappling with till the cows come home.

Or, I can focus on something lovely and I can become anything I want.

Barbara: Okay, I love this post so much, I want to bite you. I want to squeeze your cheeks and kiss you. I want to laugh uproariously (which, by the way, I did several times while reading. Actual throw-my-head-back laughter) and I want to cry (which, by the way, I also did at the end there). This is just so so beautiful and true. True and Beautiful. And I think I’m feeling kinda freakishly euphoric right now because lately I too have experienced this amazing release of tension and fresh awareness of possibility. Lately, thanks to my recent exercises in focus, and thanks also to a lovely friend (waves at Shalaka) who sent me some guided meditations that I’ve actually been using, for the first time in my life I am practicing focus on a regular basis and it is all these things you speak of. Being in the clean, clear, wondrous moment. Being the best and sweetest part of yourself. Being here.

Thanks for playing, Deb, and for sharing your own experience with us! You guys???

PS a little fun sound-bite to you from Deb!