Five Crazy Things: Failed Resolutions

Barbara: We like to keep it positive here on the blog as much as possible, but it can also be fun to poke a little fun at ourselves from time to time. And what better time than the infamous resolutions time? Okay, so what 5 resolutions are you going to make this year that will definitely not last?

1. Meditate every day.

2. Get to the gym 3 times a week.

3. Get away from the computer at regular intervals.

4. No wheat.

5. Not resort to platitudes and clichés in my writing ever again.

Deb:

1. Sadly, number one just might be the same as Barb’s. Meditate every day! I live in hope!!!

2. Read more books on a regular basis!

3. Stop over-punctuating!!!

4. Rid myself of my ticks and twitches. Sit STILL!

5. That’s it, I think. I am happy with everything else!

AND HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OF YOU!! Have a great one xoxo

11:23pm

Deb: ...was the time I laid my head down on New Year's Eve. First time in my life. And I kept saying, "For heavens sake, you've only got forty minutes to go." But I couldn't. I didn't. I was tired. I had been sporting a two-day migraine and I was spent. We had had a lovely day though. My Mom and Dad came over about 2pm with some dear friends and their moms. We have been doing this for about three years now and it is lovely. Chat, cocktails, pizza, and Pictionary!

Though in previous years we would start around 7pm ending with a resounding "Happy New Year!" at midnight followed by a mass exodus. We had to change it up this year because my Mom needed to be home by 7:30 to meet the caregiver who gets her ready for bed. So rather than scrap the evening, we chose to change it up to an afternoon/early eve. With the sky dark by five, it still gave us hours to feel all New Years Eve-y.

We drew bad pictures, we ate, we laughed, we had a festive cake with sparklers, and  we sang Auld Lang Syne. We did our countdown at 6:43 in a fun random way and we shouted out Happy New Year! just as if we were trying to drown out the tolling of twelve bells.

Everyone was gone by 8 and my husband and I hunkered down with tea to watch a movie, which we quite enjoyed although my eyes were fluttering back and forth from full to half-mast. Any other day I would have just gone to bed, but I am an eventist damn it. Have been all my life. So staying up until midnight on New Years Eve is important to me.

But the game of rationalization began. "I have to get up early in the morning.” “We have had our version of New Years hours before.” “I could just kiss my husband now and say Happy New Year!” “I could get a good night's sleep and start the year fresh and well rested instead of clinging to something that would ultimately amount to nothing."

Having convinced myself, I went to sleep at 11:23pm.

And at midnight I awoke to the sound of cheering and pots and pans and fireworks. I laid there comforted by the fact that this revelry was going on right outside my window. Our street was celebrating for me. Or with me I suppose. After all, I was listening and smiling with my eyes closed. And I appreciated it. I drank that cup of kindness yet for Auld Lang Syne and then nodded off, secure in the knowledge that 2012 had arrived fully and safely. I woke again a few hours later when I heard the boy and the girl come in from their party. A few whispers, a few giggles, the removal of shoes and the setting of the house alarm. They were slipping off to bed, the New Year’s party smell clinging to their persons. Again I was smiling with eyes closed. And I confess, counting my blessings that I was going to wake up with my head instead of theirs.

But on this morning, this first morning of 2012, I had a lingering feeling of disappointment with myself. Why didn't I stay up that extra 40 minutes? I made a choice that I thought was prudent and wise instead of fun and spontaneous. And in the warm light of a sunny New Year's morning, I feel I made the wrong choice. I wish I had stayed up. It is so unlike me not to have. I wanted to try this new me on for size. Thank heaven I kept the receipt because I am returning her. Like the saying goes "you can sleep when you're dead". Next year, midnight baby! I may be in bed at 12:02, but MIDNIGHT I'll be rockin' it. Yeah I gave in. I caved. I reacted to what I thought I needed given the last few months of my life.  I chose UNWISELY. Yet I am choosing to forgive myself because I did what I felt at the time I needed to do.

So I'm good. My choice to go to sleep before midnight was sooooo last year. As a result this year has started with a lesson learned. Not bad. Not bad at all.

Happy New Year, Everyone. I have huge high hopes for 2012! It has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?  TWO THOUSAND AND TWELVE!

Peace. Joy. Health. Lessons.

PS (posted later): When I came in from the gym today I found my husband laying on the bed in the afternoon, which is very rare indeed. This is the man who asks me at the start of every day, “What can I do for you?" and then does it. He has been in full-out mode for a month, dealing with all the stuff I have been dealing with. I asked him if he was feeling okay. He said, “I'm spent". He is. We both are. And it made me feel a little better about my early bedtime last night. Maybe this year ... it was the right choice.

Barbara: Deb, I laughed out loud when you said you were glad you kept the receipt because you were returning that new you. And I know you maybe might not return her after all, but that said, I really like the fundamental idea of being able to try her on and deciding, Hmmm, not so much.

I actually had a bit of a similar celebration as you. Back several years ago, Deb and I often spent the Eve together, but I think the long trek home at the end of the night put a crimp in that. Like you, Deb, I also began celebrating with family, usually Phil’s brother and his wife (who have to come from far out of town). But this year, as every year, we didn’t think about New Year’s until the last guest had left after Christmas and the last dish was washed and put away (right around midday, the 27^th). And this year, Phil’s brother had other plans and so Phil and I decided—right away, actually—that we would celebrate quietly, tete a tete. We took our kids and a boyfriend bowling on Sat afternoon—where we, like you, enjoyed an early countdown to New Year’s (courtesy of bowling alley management) at exactly 5:40. We laughed, we played badly, we had fun. Then we brought the “kids” home to get ready for their respective parties, ordered a big tray of sushi, and opened a chilled bottle of Proseco to enjoy the rest of the evening in quiet coziness.

We, however (not trying to rub it in!), did manage to make it past midnight. In fact, I think we finally turned out the lights at 2am. Not bad, huh? (but were also roused out of deep sleep twice when one couple then the other child came home much later.)

Today it was a late sleep-in and then a really hearty midday brunch of scrambled eggs (but what scrambled eggs), bacon, buttered toast, and pancakes. Mmmm.

Maybe not quite ready yet to tackle 2012 head-on, but certainly smiling at the prospect. (and packing for Costa Rica, baby!!!!!)

What was it you said, Deb? ... right: "Peace. Joy. Health. Lessons." Yes!!!

Hogmanay

Deb: Don’t you love that New Year smell?! A brand new year ripe with possibility. It’s a

second chance to fix the bad things in your life and watch the good things blossom.

How long does it take for your New Year smell to wear off? If you break your resolution just once, do you still keep going or does it get bumped to next year’s crop?

Many people I know don’t even bother to make resolutions anymore. I do though and always will. Because succeed or fail at my intentions, I have to. For I am of Scottish descent. New Year’s is huge with my peeps. The Scots call it “Hogmanay” and to dyed-in-the wool Scots, it is more precious than Christmas. Certainly more important.

Scots do have the most devastating sense of humor. The Brits are hilarious too, but the Scots have something different. They are dark. Funny and tragic all at the same time. “Merry Go Sorry” is the expression that springs to mind, which means the height of hilarity and the depth of despair––all at the same time! This is what makes their humour so unique and this is what makes Hogmanay so important to them. It’s a time to laugh and celebrate and it’s a time to wallow. Oh how the Scots love to wallow. Their minds are never far from the grave. Anyone’s grave. Those who have died, those who are about to die, and the rest who will die eventually. Scots were the first people I ever knew who photographed the graves of loved ones. Yes, they did. They’d put it in their photo album and say, “Auchhh, there’s ooour wee Jamie” and “Accchhhh, that was a cold day when we buried ooooorrrr Meg.”

The Scots love an opportunity to wallow. And there is no better time to have a good wee wallow than Hogmanay. And conversely the Scots are second to none at celebrating and welcoming the New Year!

Traditionally the New Year’s celebration starts with something called “First Footing”, and it gets its name from the first person who crosses your threshold after 12 midnight. The most desired “first footer” is a tall dark man (let’s face it, isn’t that what everyone wants?!!!) A redhead first footer could mean chaos and uncertainty in your new year. When the first footer enters your home, they bring a gift to mark the first footing. Salt was an old tradition, but now it varies from whisky to a black bun (a very rich fruit cake) intended to bring luck to the householder. The party begins after the first footing and goes until the morning when the guests are treated to a sumptuous breakfast before leaving. However, many Hogmanay celebrations go into the 2nd of January, which is a bank holiday. In the modern world, the whole of January is filled with these New Year’s celebrations in Scotland.

So, although it is a universal “out with the old, in with the new”, it is never thus with those of us of Scottish heritage. Hogmanay is a time to hold in our hearts those who have gone before us and to conjure up memories of years past when we all celebrated Hogmanay together, laughing, eating, and holding each other so dear.

And I will do the same as I have done every year and my heart will soar with joy and sink with melancholy, and at the stroke of midnight we will kiss and salute the New Year and sing. And on the last verse we will clasp crossed arms ... and remember.

Writer Robbie Burns

And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere!
And gie’s a hand o’ thine!

And we’ll tak a right guide-willy waught,

For auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne, my jo,

For auld lang syne, we’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet, for auld lang syne.

Happy New Year, Everyone!

Barbara: Auchhh, Deb, I want a wee New Year’s celebration like your Hogmanay. It sounds like just the perfect way to honour the past and look ahead to the future, while merrying it up in the present like nobody’s business.

When it comes to celebrating New Year’s, we’re usually of the “less is more” variety. Usually it’s just a few close friends (Deb and Colin as often as not—although not this year as relatives on both sides take center stage), eating a cozy meal, playing games like Pictionary and Trivial Pursuit, then getting in jammies sometime after the champagne and playing some more. We’ve tried the fancy shindigs—which are schmancy and all––but they don’t fit us quite as well as the intimate tête-a-têtes in our own home.

That said, there’s always a little resolution-ing going on. I like the idea of the clean slate and the new beginning and the boundless possibilities. As for a Hogmanay-type hootenanny, that sounds like the best of all worlds (minus the whole night of revelry, which sad to say, I am pretty unlikely to be able to manage anymore …. hmmm, could I ever?) Thanks, Deb, for pulling me into your Scottish tradition and making that celebration so very palpable and real.

Should auld acquaintance be forgot

And never brought to mind?

Should auld acquaintance be forgot

And auld lang syne!

And let’s not forget our new acquaintance! Thank you for all your lovely Christmas wishes and for sharing your own festivities with us. See you bright and early in the New Year and for the whole of the year to come. May all your resolutions be merry and may your dreams come true! Happy New Year!


And for your viewing pleasure, here's an apropos New Year's card from Deb and gang!