“Dear Internet” by Tina Fey
From PerezHilton.com/Posted by jerkstore on Wednesday,
1/21/2009, 11:21 P.M.
jerkstore:
“In my opinion Tina Fey completely ruined SNL. The only
reason she’s celebrated is because she’s a woman and an outspoken liberal. She
has not a single funny bone in her body.”
Tina Fey:
“Dear jerkstore,
Huzzah for the Truth Teller! Women in this country have been
over-celebrated for too long. Just last night there was a story on my local
news about a “missing girl,” and they must have dedicated seven or eight
minutes to “where she was last seen” and “how she might have been abducted by a
close family friend,” and I thought, “What is this, the News for Chicks?” Then
there was some story about Hillary Clinton flying to some country because she’s
secretary of state. Why do we keep talking about these dumdums? We are a
society that constantly celebrates no one but women and it must stop! I want to
hear what the men of the world have been up to. What fun new guns have they
invented? What are they raping these days? What’s Michael Bay’s next film going
to be?
When I first set out to ruin SNL, I didn’t think anyone
would notice, but I persevered because—like you trying to do a nine-piece jigsaw
puzzle—it was a labor of love.
I’m not one to toot my own horn, but I feel safe with you,
jerkstore, so I’ll say it. Everything you ever hated on SNL was by me, and
anything you ever liked was by someone else who did it against my will.
Sincerely,
Tina Fey
P.S. You know who does have a funny bone in her body? Your
mom every night for a dollar.”
