_SENDING_ Your Love

Luke and Megan

Deb: Recently our wonderful son and his delightful girlfriend celebrated their second-year anniversary––and Facebook was all aTwitter with it! I am not on Facebook, but my husband is and he was telling me about their public outpouring of love for each other and the resulting outpouring of love and support from their friends.

My first thought was, I wonder why they didn’t just email each other privately? These are their deepest most intimate thoughts of love that they are sharing with anyone who has ever friended, poked, or added them. What a funny generation they are, I thought. Nothing is private in their world.

And so I wondered, If love is declared in a forest and there is no one around to hear it, is it still love?

And then I thought about it and how we are always accusing this generation of being distant and removed, of living in a digital world and not touching each other. And I pondered it and realized, this IS their touching.

And more than the technical aspect, truth be told, they are doing what lovers are meant to do. They are proclaiming it loudly for all the cyber-world to hear. Instead of shouting it from the rooftops, they are literally bouncing it off satellites, which in a gorgeous way makes their love out of this world!

Now I know this isn’t for everyone, as some people are very private––which is perfect if it is perfect for their love’s expression. But if you are the type of lover who wants every Tom, Dick and Harry1982 to know your beeswax then why NOT press send when your heart soars?

So I pulled my prude stick out of my arse and thought, Yes, my darling boy, sing love’s praises whenever and wherever you can. Be proud of love in any form! When two hearts love as one, it is so strong it should explode––to infinity and beyond!

Barbara: Ack! “If love is declared in a forest and there is no one around to hear it, is it still love?” LOVE that.

This reminds of when I was first introduced to Facebook (not even a year ago) and noticed there was a “relationship status”. Newly introduced to these public displays of private lives, I worried that all these online teens and young adults were not only having to navigate the fickle seas of love, but also suffering the drama of being added to profiles or not added or, worse, deleted after a break-up. It just brought back all those super-vivid memories of my own adolescent experiences of love, romance, and (agonizing) betrayal, forcing me to imagine them compounded by the piercing gaze of the public forum.

I stuck my nose in too and urged my girls to not have a relationship status unless it was a really, really serious relationship. I mean, how can young people not be drawn to constantly spy on each other’s romantic status (or statii, thanks, Gae!)?! Or at the end of an affair, not wonder in pain how they could be so easily forgotten? Or––as in one friend’s mortified experience––find their profile boldly announce their newly single!!! status, adorned with a floating heart. Newly single?! Her heart had just been ripped unceremoniously from her chest and flung hard against the wall. In her heartbroken despair, she had thought it wise to change her relationship status from “in a relationship” to not, without realizing Facebook would proclaim her availability for any Tom, Dick, or Harry to check out. Yeah, baby.

But I have to say, you make an excellent point, Deb. Being able to proclaim your love is a wonderful and precious thing. Love is a wonderful and precious thing. I have also urged my girls to believe in it wholeheartedly. Even if it only lasts a few months, weeks, days, or even moments. It is a commodity in any shape. And we owe it to our world to have it echo off every forest tree and household wall and orbiting satellite. Shout it from the rooftops, kids. We want to hear you.   


Edited to add: Hey everybody, we placed 3rd in the 2010 Canadian Blogger Awards Personal category. Thank you all sooooo much for supporting us! We are thrilled!