Romantic Date Reality Show

Barbara: So we got a cool email yesterday. Looks like JD Meyers, a casting director in NYC, is looking to cast a new reality TV show to showcase romantic gestures from husband to wife. The good news? They help you put the date together. The bad? They’re having a hard time finding the guys! Mostly because their demographic is a bit older than might be on the ‘net looking to do this. JD thought we might be able to help him scout willing males.

And we thought, why not put a word in? It’s a sweet idea, we would love to be part of making a woman’s dream date come true, and we would LOVE to hear about it here if any of our blog-buddies are somehow part of this romance. Okay, bad news number two: it can’t be your husband … because it has to be a surprise! But maybe—if you’re one of our male readers, living in the States—it can be YOU, or maybe you tell a friend, or a sibling, or a dad, or whomever you think might fit the bill.

Here’s the casting notice:

CASTING NOTICE: MARRIED MEN (approx. 45-65 years old)

* Do you have a wife who you absolutely adore?

* Have you been thinking of sentimental ways to show her how much you care?

* Do you have a creative idea in mind of how you could surprise your wife?

 A NYC-based production company is conducting a national search for a romantic husband, 45-65 years old, who is wanting/planning to surprise his wife with a heart-warming gesture of love before August 1, 2012. The surprise can either mark a special occasion or be random and unexpected. The selected husband will receive help and enhancements to ensure an over-the-top and special surprise for his wife that will be filmed as part of a news segment featured on a major cable network. Perhaps the husband is giving his wife the honeymoon he couldn't afford when they first got married, or planning to replace something sentimental that was lost. Maybe he wants to give her a trip to where they first met or surprise her with a lavish (but secret) vow renewal ceremony. Whatever the case, any and all ideas for the surprise are welcome as long as they are unique, personal and sentimental in nature. The couple can be located anywhere in the US, and compensation for the couple will also be offered. Please submit the following information to jmyerscasting@gmail.com: Name, age, location, information on the couple, and a brief description of ideas for the surprise.

But let’s not stop there. Let’s talk romance for a bit. I’d love to know what your ideal romantic date is. It can be “out there”—we’re not holding anyone to making sure our crazy wishes come true—and why not let our imaginations go a little wild? Or maybe you want to share with us a romantic experience you’ve had—or heard about—that was especially unique.

As you guys know, Deb and I are very happily married. We’ve also had many lovely, romantic and special occasions with our beloveds. Of course, we can’t write anything about husbands and romance without calling back maybe our favourite post of all time: the one here where our boys told you how they felt about being married (…to us).

Okay, here’s my dream date: a long road trip through glorious scenery, great meals on outdoor patios, maybe a massage (um, by trained professionals, for both of us…), lazing in the sun.

My best romantic date memory: when I turned 30 and was pregnant with Michele, Phil secretly arranged to have my sister babysit 3-year-old Stefanie so he could whisk me away to a lodge in the country for beautiful food, a bit of hiking and canoeing, lunching on a sunny island, our own cabin in the woods, quiet, talks, sitting on Adirondack chairs in the sunset…. Wait, can my “dream date” just be that one over again (minus the pregnancy)???

Deb: Oh, Barb, as you well know, my dear friend, I can relate to this. Romance is the act of knowing in your heart what your partner wants. Romance is striving for that and failing with that. But it is trying. Always always always trying. I know from experience with friends and family that love can come at any age and romance can come at any age and any stage of life. It is there for the taking and it is there for anyone and everyone. So. Go. 

The Cousins Project: Young Deb

Deb: McGrath Family Picnics And Weddings! Featuring a 20-something Deb.

Dancing with my adored Uncle Alex-Kind of looks like I am doing the Elaine!

Tourists In Our Own City

Barbara: Yesterday, every single person in my family had the day off. Or could take the day off. My kids are working hard this summer and always on weekends (which is when Phil and I usually take our breaks), so it is rare rare rare that we all have a free day and then make a point of spending it together. A “play day”, if you will.

As Deb mentioned in her earlier post, Picasso and Paul, there is a gorgeous exhibit at our major art gallery—The Art Gallery of Ontario (or AGO)—featuring Pablo Picasso’s masterpieces from the collection at the Musée National Picasso in Paris. The exhibit features a retrospective of work from Picasso’s entire career, many of which were in his private collection until he died, including private sketches. Being lovers of modern art in general and of Picasso in specific, we knew we HAD to go. The stars aligned, the free day presented itself, and off we went for a day of hometown adventure.

We decided to head downtown so we could also grab a bite to eat before going to the gallery. Now we could easily have gone to one of the lovely restaurants inside the AGO itself, but we decided to take advantage of the gallery’s fortuitous location in the heart of Chinatown. As we drove into the city, Stefanie googled restaurants. She found an excellently rated place a few blocks from the gallery. We parked the car and did something we (and by “we”, I mean Phil and I, because the girls, of course, walk everywhere) walked this part of the city.

There are so many areas I visit in the city—visit so often that I take them for granted. But this area is one I usually drive—along Dundas Street past the long sweeping avenue of University, which extends down to the water in one direction and up around the beautiful Queen’s Park government buildings in the other. But this was the first time Phil and I walked it. It was a sultry-hot day and the streets were crowded with people. As we made our way to the restaurant, we decided this is what it might feel like if we were tourists in Toronto—seeing parts of the city that we never really notice, trying a restaurant we would never otherwise try, and then seeing a world class exhibit.

Here are a few photos of our tourist adventure in our own city:

The food was delicious at Spadina Garden, spicy and robust.

This is my attempt to take a photo of us as a gang of tourists, but I pressed my video instead—and thought this was so funny, I had to share!

The AGO itself is stunning. One of my favourite places in the whole city. Frank Gehry did the redesign of the architecture several years ago.

The exhibit was stunning. It felt intimate and immense all at the same time.

And this is us relaxing afterward. What is it about going through a gallery that makes you so tired afterward??? We decided it was the intensity of your focus, taking it all in, absorbing and processing. It’s a lot for our sometimes lazy brains!

Deb: I am so glad for your adventure to this wonderful exhibit. We adored it, as you know. We took our meal in the AGO at Frank and it was wonderful as it was the weekend and, as a result—brunch!!!!!! Art. What would the world be without it? I loved seeing some of his realistic stuff! 

The Cousins Project ... Still

Deb:

Me climbing up the stairs to meet cousin Scott, my bestie!

Me and the Egg, my brother. 

L to R: Me, Scott, someone, and Linda. Cousins, anyone know who someone is?

Dad, working it!!!!!!

Scott and me: best friends from birth.

Me and baby Egg

Granny, Grandpa, and Uncle Donald, and their new cottage sign. The background is red plaid and it reads "OOR HOOSE". Cousins: is the sign still up there? Who has it? 

Two-year-old bathing beauty Deb

Little party at Deb's. 

Cautious from the get-go. I don't trust this driver. Wish I knew her name though. hmmm.

Now THIS is a driver I can trust. Little Deb driving ... what's her name?

Imaginary Friends

Barbara: I have an imaginary friend. Let’s call her Jess. Jess is around my age, well, a bit younger, has 3 beautiful kids, has the same concerns and struggles that I have (or have had), gives me food for thought and listens in earnest. She is gorgeous and sweet, I love her sense of style (look to it, in fact, for fresh ideas) and her gentle sense of humour, and when we chat briefly on the sidewalk outside her home or mine, we keep re-discovering just how much we have in common. In my imagination, she is my perfect friend.

Yes, okay—Jess is real. She actually does live around the corner from me. From time to time, we run into each other and, every time, we immediately fall into relaxed and natural and authentic communication. When we have to part ways, we always make promises to get together “properly”, to have tea or lunch or a walk. But we never do. Life gets in the way, I guess, of a real, manifest relationship.

I’ve had a handful of these imaginary friendships throughout my life. People who arrive out of the blue and immediately connect like soul mates or soul sisters—I am certain these are the “real deals”, the keepers, the friends for life—but then they recede into the imaginary miasma, traces of their amazingness still sitting on my tongue. Not keepers in the end, but wonderful portraits of potential.

So what happens? Yes, life gets in the way. There’s also the problem—for me as a social creature in my middle age—that there aren’t enough hours (even minutes) in the days for the wonderful, enduring friendships I already have. There’s always the potential for subtle pervasions of guilt to bubble up inside me about the time I’m not spending nurturing this old friendship or that new one. The other reality is that friendship really needs two people to nurture it: two people to commit to that coffee or lunch or walk and then see it through. And then the coffee/walk/lunch after that and the one after that and so on until the rhythm has been established and those “breaks for real life” don’t really interfere with your connections when you see each other.

But still it’s interesting, isn’t it?—these imaginary friendships and the coulda/wouldas that go with them. I do sometimes picture that coffee-date or that extended weekend at a cottage, just bonding and reveling in this person’s loveliness. But that’s as far as it goes, it seems.

So many alternate universes circling around me with relationships and experiences I just can’t seem to pack into this particular sphere.

I still believe every single time Jess and I see each other that one day, one surprising afternoon, we will follow through with our imaginary plans and take that lunch, and a beautiful thing will find its footing. Maybe imaginary friendships, or snatched moments, or the beauty of possibility are still better than no friendship at all.

Deb: Barbara, I was just thinking that your having written this blog-post may be just the inspiration you need to turn your imaginary friend into a fully fleshed-out relationship. The timing of this is so interesting for me. I had a lovely surprising encounter last week at the place where I get my nails done. I love, as you know, to strike up conversations with strangers. This gal and I got to chatting and, honest to Pete, we started connecting and bonding and relating. It was so sweet and unexpected. It was so real and substantial. When she was getting up to leave she looked at me with tears brimming in her eyes and said, “I am so glad I met you today,” and I told her that I felt the same way and that I thought there was a reason for it. She said, “I’m sorry but I hope you don’t mind if I hug you and kiss your cheek,” and she did and I hugged her back and it was actually tough to say goodbye to her. I said something like, “I know we will meet again and I hope we do.” But why didn’t we exchange numbers, email, anything? Is it because neither of us wanted to be presumptuous? Is it because there were other people around us and we didn’t want to look foolish? I don’t know the answer, but I do hope I meet her again and, if I do, I am going to take it as a sign. 

Red Riding Hoods

Barbara: Yesterday, Deb and I fell in love. He’s a sexy beast, tall, rugged, soulful eyes. But he’s not afraid to show his soft side too: he loves to give warm kisses and lay his head on your shoulder. We won’t even mention here that his kisses are tinged with green and he sometimes shakes his head in a particularly goofy way when he gets nervous, gums all flapping and nostrils flaring (that only happened when he first met us, before he understood on a visceral level that we were meant to be the best of friends).

Our new boy-crush is none other than the tall, dark, and handsome Red.

Red!

We had the great privilege of meeting and communing with Red thanks to the lovely, kind, and sincerely sweet Mary-Jo—who you’ll know from our comments section here. Jo lives not far from us and invited us on a very special excursion to meet her new horse. She picked us up at Deb’s house, then drove us the half-hour or so to the stables where Red lives and where she visits him on a daily basis.

Mary-Jo!

The stables? Okay, more elegant and certainly cleaner than my house!! Yeah, they are that good. Jo explained to us that she met her own personal “horse whisperer” many years ago and now follows her to whichever stable she is at. I think Jo has the best of all worlds at this place. And Red too.

The stables!

He is loved here and gently guided and nurtured. For some reason, he won’t budge for many riders. But he and Jo clicked at first sight back in December of this year. You’ll see in these videos how literally “unmoved” he was with Deb and I. In fact, if you look closely, you’ll see his eyes going all soft and sleepy—like he’s enjoying a good nap while we beg and coax.

Jo was a bit embarrassed by her horse’s, um, lack of performance, but she needn’t have worried. We were in his thrall. He impressed us with his light feet and agile gait while Jo took him around the paddock. His hair is glossy, his features fine and elegant. The fact that he only wanted to nuzzle us and look deep into our eyes was icing on the cake.

Afterward, Jo took us to this adorable little café in the woods where we ate a truly delicious meal and enjoyed the clean air. While Red may have been the star in our little get-together, make no mistake, we fell in love with Jo too. As dear and sincere in real life as she is here in our virtual neighbourhood, we were thrilled to get to know her better, share stories, and relax in her lovely, loving presence.

Lunch!

Friends!

Deb: Red is my new boyfriend. I love him and I think he knows it. Wow you guys, what a lovely day we had. He is such a soulful beast and Jo is the most engaging and laidback gal. I had known her previously in a few social settings so it was lovely to see the very core of her on this day. It was one of those days that you know you are going to do again. It really made me wish I had continued my early 10-year-old horseback riding lessons. I had a really traumatic experience and it frightened me from riding. Not from horses, but from riding. But Red, sensing my need to—if you will excuse me for this—get back on the horse ... made me want to. 

The Cousins Project Continued

Deb: Some highlights from my summer project which I am enthralled with: The Cousin's Project.

Deb and Cousin Linda, farmer's fence, Bel Air beach circa 56

Wee Deb Walking

Mom and Deb, Quebec City, 1955

Deb, Linda, Pam and Scott, circa 1959

Mom, Dad and a gang of friends, 40's

Highchair Deb circa 1955

Dad and Deb in Quebec City circa 1955

Mom and her best friend Ruth, late forties. Mom on right with dark tan!

Wee Deb in the bouncy chair-circa 1954

Dad and I in Newfoundland in the 50's

Dad, Canadian Army reserves