Monday, November 8, 2010

Pillow Flunffing

Deb: I am a pillow flunffer from waaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy back. Before a guest comes into our home, I am flunffing for all I am worth. Very little gives me such satisfaction as seeing the couch pillows, window pillows, seat pillows, bed pillows and throw pillows flunffed up like they are on steroids. Done correctly, these pillows should look like animated studies in plumped perfection! It is always the last thing I do in my day, this flunffing.

When I was younger and learning at the hands of Mum, queen of flunffers, I found myself to be a skilled and willing student. I was born to flunff. My Mum would tell me how wonderful the pillows looked after I had flunffed, but sometimes I would catch her out of the corner of my eye working the re-flumff.

She saw me catch her once and she said that she had accidently sat on it and it had flattened. I pretended I believed her. We weren’t kidding each other. Because, as a grown woman, I know now how damned important the flunff is! Guess I always have.

Means everything to the welcome guest. I only wish that all my guests could arrive together and stand in a line looking at the flumff in all its glory. Because each time a guest sits down, I die a little. The flunff is fleeting. However, I won’t lie to you. I am not above re-flunffing when they go to the washroom. I have decided that instead of chalking it up to neurotic behaviour, I am going to look at the re-flunffing as I service to my guests. I mean, come on, who doesn’t like a good flunffing.

Barbara: I have to say, Deb, that when it comes to this subject, I know flunff-all.

No, my pillows wallow, unnoticed and flat, in the corners of my sofas and chairs. I don’t think I even acknowledge them if not for the scrunching they get when I need one tucked under an arm to read or sometimes in front of the TV under a sleepy head.

I wonder if my pillows resent me for it … After all, if they lived at Deb’s house (and let me confirm her pillows are resplendent and gloriously flunffed, masterpieces of the genre), they’d be fondled and caressed and stroked to pillowy satisfaction. I’m sure if they knew, my pillows would elbow me unceremoniously and say, “I’ll have what they’re having.”

But I must confess, I don’t care enough about it. Maybe I should blame my mother for not schooling me in the ways of the flunff. Maybe my children will blame me for not setting a good example.

All kidding aside, I must confess I’ve lost interest in the whole home d├ęcor thing. Yup, let me say it can happen. You can be a hard-core decorator all your adult life and then one day your passionate desire for new paint chips and lampshades and silk drapes can just fritter away, leaving you bored and indifferent. It’s not just your pillows that won’t be able to remember the last time they were flunffed. Should I worry about my low flunff-drive??? Do they make a pill for that?


  1. *giggle* Oh, Deb. Thank you for starting my day with a smile and a laugh. Such wonderful silliness!

    As I was reading your ode to pillows, I kept thinking of this:

    Sorry, but in our household, pillows are only flunffed during pillow fights. :)

    Ah, but I guess everyone has their thing. For me, it's my books. Each book has its place. A certain shelf on a certain bookcase in a certain room. Not only that, but it has a spot on that shelf. I always want to be able to instantly lay my fingers on any specific book.

    *looks around room* Barbara, I very seriously doubt Deb would approve of the decor. Books, books, books, craft projects in progress, my Grandmama's jadeite bowls, my growing collection of stuffed octopi made by crafty friends, a stuffed shark and my Gram's early 20th century cookie tin on top of the wooden cabinet that holds my sewing machine and other craft supplies, a Celtic knotwork cross bedspread being used a the curtain for the big window, a colorful 1940's tablecloth over the table at the end of the handmedown couch from my mom's den, a bunch of figurines and wall pictures from Japan, a patchwork blanket my GreatGrandmama made for me back in the 1970's draped over a thrift store rocking chair, a TimmyClone from ThinkGeek on top of the computer monitor on the desk, my grandmother's crazy quilt over my cedar chest upon which sits the stereo and the desktop computer, gazillions of little frames with pictures of loved ones, seashells I've gathered over the years while snorkeling, and more books.

    As you come of the steps to the door, sitting on the air conditioner in the window by the steps is a gargoyle to greet you once you've made it past the garden gnome and the concrete Japanese pagoda. Oh yeah, and when you come through the door, you are first greeted by Beaker from the Muppets who sits on a little shelf across the way and are peered down upon by two BIG stuffed seamonsters that lay across the top of the biggest bookcase. Our guard dragons. ;) But, no flunffed pillows.

    I will admit, though, to have a few throw pillows on my bed. But, they're not fluffned. The cat has claimed them as his nest.

  2. Rigel, your home sounds perfectly perfectly lovely. Like a blissful haven.

  3. I only fluff when they are laying on their side or flat to the couch after someone has left them that way. I don't even make my bed anymore and the pillows longingly stay on the floor but for the one day when my house is cleaned and the room looks all fluffed out. Great fun this morning with your blog.

  4. That was a great post about flunffing(?). I wonder if the boys might appreciate me more if I did some of that flunffing around here. I know the dog would as he does that himself, right before he lays himself right on top of it.
    I agree with you Barbara about low flunff drive. I have one. If they had a pill would I even want to take it?
    Have a lovely day flunffy or otherwise!

  5. Awww, thanks Barbara. I'm a firm believer is making a comfortable, creative, stimulating environment -- even in a little, old, drafty rental house! :)

    Well, Barbara and Deb and minions, y'all are always welcome in my home.

    Beaker greets you as you come through the door:

    The octopi greet you, and the dragons grant you passage as you come through the door:

    Deb, I would flunff pillows on the couch in your honor.

  6. The only Pillows that I even think about flunffing is the onces on my couch,and my bed pillows after I get up in the mornings and the once on my computar chair. I can't stand to sit down when pillows on my chair is all flat. It's so no comfortable,and I can't write when I am not comfortable,and I have to be able to write,so I have to make sure that my pillows are fluffed and up.

  7. Madge, you sound like my kinda gal!

    Melissa, I have a sneaking feeling that the boys would care as little about flunffed pillows as we do. Sneeeeaking feeling...

    Rigel -- great shots! So cozy!

    Lyndsie, that's something I have taken to doing: I put pillows under my butt when I work to lift me closer to the table and maybe avoid carpal tunnel syndrome.

  8. I am with Barbara on this. I have lost all the drive I once had towards home decor. Maybe someday it will come back, but for now, my cushions have been banished, just to save me the bother of washing them once a week :-(
    BUT, I love a well fluffed cushion greet me when I enter a house.

  9. Deb I hear you! When we retire for the night I tend to the cushions on the couch so that when I come back downstairs in the morning it doesn't look like the couch has been slept on. However, my child is oblivious. When she's home (she stays up way later than her poor parents) I am greeted by schmushed chaotic pillows in the morn.

    But Barb I also hear you. Other than the pillow attention I gotta say my inner Martha seems to have gone awol. I got a burst of inspiration about a month ago when Oprah had Martha on and I had a burst of energy and decided to get ship shape in a few areas. I decided to replace some of my spice jars which were looking rather lacklustre - of which I have many - actually they're magnetic containers and they cover a large portion of my fridge so they're highly visible. I think I got about three done then lost interest. The new ones are sitting with my labeler (yes labeler) and bags of fresh spices languishing on my counter.

    Don't seem to care either.

  10. I gotta admit...I'm with Deb on this one. Actually , at Deb's parties, I've flunffed her pillows when people have gone to refresh their drinks. (They are so truly beautiful...true fabric jewels...that they deserve such attention.)
    At home, I treat my pillows with the same regard. I have so many on our beds, my husband has suggested I start a magazine devoted to same and call it "Extreme Bedding". Heavy heads never rest on any of the display pillows..the better to see them hold the shape that best responds to a good flunff. (The pillows that actually support the sleeping form are to be found sequestered in the closet during the day). The spouse claims one his most anticipated parts of the day is the "Parade of Pillows!" that takes place each evening as the decorative is switched out for the functional.
    I can't imagine what would happen if I awoke with a low-flunff drive...All the things I take comfort in...colour, order, form..come together in decorating for me and I find my peace in shaping my space...and flunffing the pillows!

  11. I'm the very OPPOSITE of a flunffer. I can fit an entire 1000 square foot house worth of furniture into a station wagon. I kid you not. you see, I'm a proud graduate of the Art Gropp school of packing. (Art is my stepdad, and is a master-packer). My husband always tells me I've got too much and it won't fit, but I get it all in. Every. Time.

    I'm definitely more like Barbara on the home decor. Largely I blame the fact that I've never had any money and have always had pets (who we irresponsibly let sit on anything they like)--though I think even with money, I'd be more inclined to be the type of entertainer that really just checks to make sure there is enough booze. (it shames my mother)

  12. gardeican and Hart, I'm sitting here trying not to shoot soda out of my nose at work because I'm laughing so hard but trying to be quiet about it!

  13. Flunffers and non Flunffers. That's what makes the world go round. How boring would this world be if we all flunffed?

  14. Barbara comes from the same family as me and we don't care about fluffing pillows (sorry Deb) In our family we fluff husbands. Sushi, Tartar, the most complicated concoctions morning, noon and night .... I should know. When I came to Canada I was 100 pounds lighter and than the fluffing begun .... I watched Barbara train her children and will they be deadly!!!! I can only visit them twice a year to stay under my maximum fluffing quota .... but they do through me on the couch afterwards and maybe they think .... Deb was here .....

  15. Oh how I laughed at this post. My kids used to get mad at me because as we were dashing out the door (always in a rush!) to drive to school, I would stop mid-frenzy and fluff the throw pillows on the sofa.

    Now the many throw pillows that used to grace the bordello bed stay tucked where they've been stuffed to just be out of the way. I stopped caring.

    In the manuscript I'm revising, the main character's daughter notes in a conversation that the realized that her mom had mentally checked out the day the main character stopped putting the throw pillows on the bed.

  16. I'm trying to imagine Deb's flunffing proclivities when faced with a beanbag chair! :)

  17. Ha! All these comments made me laugh so much, from my dad as throw pillow to Lisa's main character strangely mimicking my life, to Hart, Annette, Tannis and Annette's stories!
    (PS Rayna, you would wash your pillows EVERY WEEK?! Wow. Impressed)


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