Monday, February 14, 2011

Valentine's Memories

Yes, Deb is still at it
Deb: There is so much written about this day. Newspapers, magazines and television are filled with the highs and the lows of this beautiful/stupid/ romantic/commercial/ depressing/useless/sweet day.

Everyone loves a lover, right? But what if you have no lover, or have just lost your lover, or are still searching for a lover or are in a loveless relationship. I have read endless spewings about the ugliness of Valentine’s Day and how the pressure to love and be loved on February 14th is rammed down our throats.

Valentine’s Day when you are a child is so sweet. I have such lovely memories of paper lace doilies, cardboard cupids, scissors and paste. I remember to this day when I was in grade one. We had all spent the day before making our little Cupid pouches to collect all our cards the next day. I went home that night with my list of friends and my Mom said, “We are giving to each child in your class or to no one at all”. I know that this is standard practice today, but I assure you it was not in the 50’s. My Mom, bless her heart, taught me a lesson that day of what grace and love is. I was so excited by this concept and rushed to school with a full heart.

There was a little girl in my class: Wendy. She was not popular and some of the kids made fun of her. I remember her sitting there, eyes downcast through the whole process, trying not to see the teacher repeatedly walking past her desk. As my pocket began to burst at the seams, I became so focused on her, staring in disbelief at her empty cupid pocket. Suddenly her face lit up and she looked over at me, smiling a shy grateful smile. It is one of those photographs the mind snaps and keeps forever.

So Wendy, this Valentine’s Day, I send my love to you. I hope you are having a full rich life with a Cupid pocket that is spilling out onto the floor.

Barbara: This story is so sweet, it may have made my Valentine’s Day, Deb. I do remember the cards and excitement of the day when I was little, and while I’m sure my pocket would NOT have been bursting at the seams, I actually don’t associate any ill feelings with that classroom tradition.

Today, I guess I’m conflicted about Valentine’s Day. All those sentiments you hyphenated above? I go through all of them on an hourly basis on the days surrounding Valentine’s Day. For my husband and I, one year it feels like a forced holiday, the next like a welcome celebration. Some years we’re all about the little presents and the dinners out, and others we hardly notice the date, never mind acknowledging it with any kind of pomp and circumstance. And this doesn’t have anything to do with our affections for each other. This year we’ve had an exceptionally affectionate year and neither of us are really into the Day at all. He may get a little something in the spirit of love (you can use your imagination if you want), but I’m still not exactly sure how we’re going to spend the evening. We didn’t make a dinner reservation (last year we did), but we will still probably make an especially nice dinner and watch a movie. Mmmm.

Bottom line, as much as I may not get all wrapped up in it, what’s wrong with a little romantic to-do? And if it includes sending out love to the friends in our “class”, I can’t sign off until I’ve sent you each, dear readers, a little candy heart and my Valentine hugs and kisses. 


And click here for a Valentine's card for you from us!

14 comments:

  1. I love Valentine's Day. Don't know why I love it but it do.I got up this morning to a dozen orange roses and a box of Choclates from my boy friend. He got me orange roses because that's my faviorte color. Anyways. The one thing that always makes me wounder is:

    Why is it that we have to just have ONE special day to tell someone that we love them. I mean,shouldn't that be everyday that we do that. Why sit aside a special day for it,why not tell someone you love them and treat them specail all the time? Maby that's just me but I have always woundered that.

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  2. You are so right Lyndsie and people like you are lucky enough to realize that. There should be "just because I love you" days. Enjoy your orange roses (also Frank Sinatra's fave colour) and your lovely day!

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  3. I show my love everyday-at least I try. I am giving myself a great massage treatment this morning at my favorite place Burke Williams. It is called the Hunter's retreat and it is all done with water cascading from a sprinkler system. It is exfoliation to rid myself of all bad karma (skin) and open passages to the heart. There are oils and lotions and cremes. Love this and decided to give it to myself. I have not really had too many successful Valentine's days in my lifetime (wrong men, wrong relationships) so I celebrate me whether I am in a relationship or not. I do remember Valentine's day at school and it was fun for me but awful for others especially if you weren't popular. I like that they make the kids give to everyone or none these days. It is not a popularity contest or at least it shouldn't be. Treat yourselves well today for you!!!!!

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  4. Madge it's so funny you mention what you are giving yourself because my blog WAS going to be about "loving oneself on Valentine's Day" but it just evolved into this lovely memory I had. Good for you girl!

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  5. It was quite funny, my parents are the most happily married people I know but they've never really got into the spirit of Valentine's Day either. In fact yesterday morning (it was Valentine's Day for us here in NZ) they were talking on TV about flowers etc. and my mum said that if Dad got her flowers she'd throw a fit because they're so expensive.

    I've never really been into Valentine's Day either, it's just a commercial holiday in my opinion... I'd much rather celebrate anniversaries.

    Elle

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  6. So funny, Elle the parents story. I guess I am an incurable romantic. I will take any excuse to make a loving event. xo

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  7. Oh, Deb, I'm glad she got her Valentine! There is so much pressure on kids. Even in the 70s there was a 'everybody or nobody' rule, so that helped, but in Jr. High there was a 'carnation fundraiser' where people sent flowers... it cost money, so nobody got many, but it was sure depressing to get NONE. (though by the end of Jr. High my friends and I bought for each other, so we all got a couple)

    As an adult, I've resigned this to a chocolate holiday. Hubby always gets me a nice card, but we don't do the other gifty things... pretty much ever... we don't have the resources. I do like chocolate though.

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  8. Chocolate Good Hart. Chocolate very good! Colin and I decided to keep it simple this year. We took a taxi(future blog) to a romantic restaurant. He gave me a wonderful card and a dozen white roses and I gave him one of my homemade cards of paper doilies and cupids and construction paper. I was in heaven making those cards. Bliss.

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  9. Deb: yes I laughed too, but they are both very romantic year round - just little touches like neither of them leave the house with a kiss goodbye... growing up I thought this was just a standard thing, but as I've got older I see that sadly they seem to be the exception to the rule. Every evening they sit down together with a glass of wine and tell each other about their day. And every morning since my little brother was a baby, my Mum sits by the window and waves goodbye to Dad as he drives off to work - only nowadays instead of having my brother on her lap she has the family dog :-)
    They even send each other little love notes from time to time. And every year around their anniversary they will take off for a mini-break (a weekend or so) together.
    So yeah they're definitely romantics, just not Valentine's Day kind of people :-D

    Elle

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  10. Elle, I love that. To me, that's the perfect relationship dynamic. Phil and I decided to enjoy a dinner of cheese and pate with French bread. A little Proseco and a fun movie and a wonderful night was had by all. Soooo nice.

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  11. I have to publicly state that I have the best best friend in the world. I just got home from work (more on that later on my blog when I figure out what to say and how to type it out without crying too much -- I am no longer unemployed, but it's an out of the frying pan into the fire situation) and picking up kiddo (he rides the bus to his dad's house in the afternoons, now, and waits for me until I get there about 35 minutes later). When we got home, R and her youngest (kiddo's best friend) had let themselves into the house and left on our table in an easy to spot display a cute Valentine for a friend plant pot for me, a silly space alien stuffed animal for kiddo (whom he has named The Green Thing), a small robot heart box of chocolates for kiddo, a small funky monky heart box of chocolates for me, and a card saying it was Valentine's Day stuff from our cat. I know it had to be R and H because a) I recognized her daughter's handwriting and b) R and my landlord are the only folks who have keys to the house since A moved away and c) R and I have "in each other's houses even when we aren't home" privileges (as A and I did before she moved away). As I have been on the brink of tears for 2 days, this unexpected treat (I'm fairly certain she hit Walmart's 75% off sale today to snarf cheap chocolate and decided to be sweet to us) was perfect, perfect, perfectly timed.

    I hate Valentine's Day. I use that word intentionally: hate it. Long have, even back when I was married. (One of the best parties I went to back in college was an Anti-Valentine's Party. The snack buffet included Hershey's "kisses without commitment" and "crushed nuts." It was epic.) Until this wonderful bit of love today, Barbara's blanket Happy Valentine's Day wish on this post was the only Valentine I had gotten. I don't know how R knew I was wobbly this week as we've barely spoken 3 minutes, but the treats (ESPECIALLY the chocolate) were absolutely perfect. I went ahead and had a wee little cry. But, instead of being the very sad deluge that has been lurking in the background for a while, these were tears of relief and happiness.

    I just finished my chocolates. Because of the love instilled in them, these discounted Walmart chocolates were the most delicious chocolate I've ever had, better than anything from Belgium or France.

    I can't tell y'all how much I needed to feel some love this week, and R came through for me so well. Oh heck, now I'm crying again.

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  12. Wow, Rigel. No one deserves a Valentine's gesture like you do! And what an especially special one this is. Soooo thrilled you're employed!!!
    xoxoxo

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  13. Elle and Rigel you made my day with your beautiful stories of true love and friendship. Wow. Left me speechless. SO happy for both of you for your wonderful experiences that you have shared with us so openly. Heart month indeed.

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  14. First of all, your blogs are so fun! Second, Deb, your hubby is hilarious! I felt compelled to comment about Valentine's Day because I just had the most unique one in my 26 years of existence. I was discharged from the hospital on February 14th, after having my appendix out- my first major surgery ever. All is well now... :)

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