Barbara: Being a blog slut and a proud woman are not mutually exclusive, are they? You see, I discovered I was a blog slut coincidentally on the same day as I was celebrating International Women’s Day (yesterday). How did this happen, you might ask. Well, let me tell you…
First there is the blog. This has become such a wonderful place to “hang out” for me. You are such an amazing bunch of people: passionate, empathetic, thoughtful. Through you I have developed a whole online life that a short year ago I would never have thought possible. Where once I protected my privacy with a vengeance, now I can’t wait to throw off my clothes and walk bare amongst you. (Okay, not literally. Haven’t crossed that line yet. Although next Monday’s 3-way guest, Hart, may challenge that :-) ) I look forward to your take on things, your positive twist when dealing with the worst, your stories. Yesterday, I was on Facebook and found myself surrounded by a group of online friends––many of whom are regular readers of the blog––when an interesting discussion turned into a blatant display of mutual respect and love from one “virtual” friend to another. It just spiraled around each one of us like a feminine dervish. It was generous and abundant. It was uplifting. It was intoxicating.
I really did feel myself get all slutty with love.
We are goddesses. Lori said so. But Amy says it too. And Melody and Hollye and Cheryl and Kathleen. So many of you feel that we can turn the tide of hate and apathy and destruction if we choose to focus on the good and true and positive. And women, as Melody said, are the perfect vessels to push that tide. Who wouldn’t be seduced by that idea? By any idea that brings with it the hope of redemption and joyful living?
I remember when I was a new parent and utterly committed to raising my kids the best way I knew how. I loved that time in my life. But I also remember viscerally the sense of loneliness that pervaded the everyday. It wasn’t all-consuming, but it was … depleting. It was like I was hopscotching from one island of relief or joy or happiness to another, with stretches of indefinable abyss looming between them. I am a people person, no question, and not being surrounded by them regularly impacted the quality of my life. I have discovered that having daily access to people either here or elsewhere within the online community buoys me incredibly.
And then I celebrated International Women’s Day, which brings with it the stories of the many extraordinary women who have changed our world and changed our place within that world. We are still a long ways away from that change being universal, but when I consider how much has been accomplished in such a relatively short time, I can’t help but imagine that great things are still going to happen. And if women’s issues can be tackled with so much courage and grace and determination, well then why not world hunger, poverty and peace?
I am a proud and hopeful woman, slutty for the love you show not just me but each other and our world.
Deb: Oh dear, do I have to be a downer? You know I’m not a downer. I am never with the downing down of something. And I agree that we have come a long way, baby. But I also see sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much room for growth, change and respect for women. We are still the bottom feeders as far as the planet reaches and as close as our next-door neighbour. I saw it first hand in the Congo. But I do have hope. Always hope. And I love being a girl, but please watch the attached for some startling statistics. Barb, your bloggy joy was palpable and I pray we rise on its wings.
Deb and Barb, having marched for abortion rights in the 60's and 70's and 80's and participated in the woman's movement I, too, say we have come a long way but clearly not nearly far enough. And if the politics of our nation change back radically we are screwed. In my lifetime I will never give up on a woman's right to choose. My new women writer friends have given me such love and joy in the last year I am in awe.
ReplyDeleteYes,you ladies are right with out women where would we be in this world?I remember when I was in high school we had to do a project about important women that had impacted our world. The lady that I had choosen was Rosa Parks. I have always though she was such a great lady because she stood up for what was right, she stood up for womens rights.Since then we have come so far,but again we have still got a lot more that could and probably will happen.
ReplyDeleteOn another note,your always blog is always great. You are two very sweet women making a very alsome blog.
Great videos. Betty Friedan and the Feminine Mystique was the author who enlightened me. My psych professor (male) pointed me in her direction. Made the biggest impact as a college person.
ReplyDeleteThanks, my beautiful friends! While sad to recognize that there's so far still to go, it's great to know we've accomplished a lot to. And that we've been able to find each other. Betty Freidan and her ilk are examples for us all -- not just their actions but their incredible and generous mentoring.
ReplyDeleteI guess what I find upsetting is that we still have to FIGHT for our rights. Witness the judge who gave a rapist a slap on the wrist last week because he said the girl was wearing a tube top and that the rapist was a clumsy Don Juan. I thought NO means NO was a given. Plus anyone with half a brain knows that men do not rape for sex,they rape for power. And yet we still fight that fight and a woman's right to choose and a million other issues. People said we would never see a black president in our lifetime and we made huge strides with that. But sadly I will be shocked if we ever see a woman president. We are making headway it's true but this planet will have to do a complete about face if women in general are ever to be given their due respect. Individually yes women are making their mark, but like Canadians are wont to do, we have to list them. We have to say hey look what she's done, and her and her. As far as the female population of the earth goes however, it's baby steps. Steps to be sure but teeny tiny in the grand scheme. and I think it's great that we celebrate accomplishments but I am wary. We don't want anyone to think we are by any means done.
ReplyDeleteI will never give up the fight.
ReplyDeleteNor I Madge! I remember in grade nine being part of a group of girls who arranged a "sit in" on the front lawn of the school so that we could wear pants to school. The boys of course could show up looking like the dogs breakfast but the girls had to be in skirts! We won the battle but wow, the fact that it WAS a battle, sheesh. As I look back on it now I remember some boys and male teachers signing petitions against us, even a few women.
ReplyDeleteI remember doing the same thing when I was in grade nine, Deb, except we won the right to wear pants suits. Not pants. It had to be a pants suit. We have come a long way but the journey, I fear, is never-ending. - Anne
ReplyDeleteFirst of all i really think we need a women president. That would be great. Second,It always shocks me on how we have always had to fight for our rights and freedoms. We should always fight,there is always something to fight for so I say lets fight. Women are just as strong as men and can do just as much as men do and yet we have to fight so much harder.
ReplyDeletePantSUITS Anne? Oh man. That kills me! Pant suits. Oh I love that. And yet, it was a victory of a sort wasn't it? Lyndsie you are much younger than I so I hope you see it. Canada has already had a woman Prime Minister. Sadly, she set back the cause of women by being ineffectual. Although being ineffectual put her right up there beside many of the men!:-)
ReplyDeleteI think this is my favorite blog that you have posted. Although you were so kind to list me along with these awesome women, that is not why I love this new post written in celebration of International Women's Day. I am moved deeply because I happen to be one of those women who believes in the power of being passionately positive and patiently persistent. I am going to be 65 this year, and I have enough experience in my life to say that that is what has worked for me, and I am going to continue on that path. I'm glad that we are not all the same. I, too, was deeply involved in the women's movement. We all fight for our rights in various styles. I love metaphors, as they help me see more clearly. There are many ways to move through obstacles which stand in the way. Aikido was one of the martial arts that I studied for many years. Although I started studying it to fight, and to defend myself from "attack," I use it in my everyday life. Now I know how to use the energy surrounding me to make my way through the negative. I think that losing control will always cause us to lose. I'm a fighter to the core, but still think that being passionately and persistently positive is my path. And yes, I love being a "blog slut" with all my wonderful FB goddess peeps.
ReplyDeleteBTW, my memory of school days in Venice in the early '60' was different. There was a dress code, but boys had one also, and they were expelled if they didn't follow it.
I love your blogs!!!
Oh, I forgot to say how much I LOVE both of the videos you included. Wonderful!!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Cheryl! I think it's the nature of the beast to be forever balancing that positive spirit with the utter belief that change is still necessary. I love the Aikido analogy. I think it is perfect: using a martial art for peaceful and purposeful progress. Says it all (for me). xo
ReplyDeleteI've been fighting the gender fight myself recently. I applied to get endorsement from my religious denomination to become a chaplain and was denied because of my gender. I met all the other qualifications. I sit in the same class as the guys, make at least as good of grades, do the same service for the community, but that's just not good enough. Thankfully I found another group that would endorse me, but it still really really ticks me off. Sorry for the rant, but I get hot under the collar just thinking about gender inequality!
ReplyDeleteRuth, that is unbelievable. And yet, I guess sadly believable. So glad you found a more enlightened group.
ReplyDeleteRuth, by all means, please rant away. I've always been highly irritated by the fact that religious denominations can be so sexist yet at the same time claim to be following Someone who created everyone equal. I'm really glad you found another group who isn't as closed-minded.
ReplyDeleteBarbara~Deb
ReplyDeleteWhat praise, so honored, and yes we are all an amazing group of women who are passionate, empathetic, thoughtful and diversified with skills.
We have gained much over the years yet need to continue to march forward for what we believe in. Viewing the videos should feed the soul of women to continue the quest set forth by those women who walked first for us as we walk for our daughters, nieces, girlfriends and ourselves.
@ Cheryl. We had a dress code at Uni. Skirts had to touch the floor when you were on your knees. Only sometimes enforced for very short skirts.
ReplyDeleteWell you KNOW how slutty I try to be... I agree that women offer wonderful potential, and ALSO that we have a long way to go. I sometimes say there will never be world peace until women are in charge. Testosterone just gets bored if everyone is playing nice.
ReplyDeleteDaniel Craig in drag makes me happy, though I would have preferred a corset and fishnets.
It makes me sad to hear so many woman saying they are not feminists because they think that supporting the equality of women makes them unfeminine, man-hating, self-pitying victims. Honest to god, intelligent women say these things! I cannot figure it out.
ReplyDeleteOr, I can, but ... it makes me sad.