Friday, March 11, 2011

Quick, My Car Needs To Be Somewhere!


Deb: My car has a very busy life. In addition to taking me safely thither and yon, it has its own agenda. I can’t believe it has time to fit extra chores in, what with my packed schedule, but clearly it does. Or at least, it tries.

I was on my way to the Danforth the other day (which is a neighbourhood in midtown Toronto), but it turns out––without consulting me, mind you––my car had another appointment downtown. So off we went. Just as my car was getting to her destination, I realized that I was going to be late for my appointment so I made a u-turn and doubled back. Yeah, I feel bad about it, but what are you going to do? I hate to pull rank on my car, but I am kinda the boss. I guess because I didn’t pay cash, my car thinks she has the right to do her own thing. Maybe she’ll stop making her own frivolous plans when I have her paid off. But for the time being, she’s a gal on the go.

I cannot tell you how many times we get somewhere and I slam on the breaks and say, “Where the hell am I?” My car’s not telling.  She does it on a whim.

I have talked to friends and they say that this has happened to them … this, this, this usurpage of power, this mind-screwing-“hood” trip. They, too, have found themselves late and confused, asking the same damn question, “Where the hell am I?” Lately, it’s a good month if my car doesn’t go off halfcocked at least once. But even on the good days, I know she’s making plans, we’re not fooling each other. At the end of the day when I’m heading up to bed, I can see her sitting there bathed in streetlight, plotting our next detour.

Where are we off to next, I wonder, and how long will it take me to notice this time? God only knows.

Barbara: Ack!! I had no idea where you were going with this, Deb, until about halfway through … and then the lightbulb went off!!

THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME!!!

It is the weirdest phenomenon. La-di-da, all happily driving along, then, oops, totally wrong side of town (and let me tell you, folks, in a city the size of Toronto, these car-propelled detours are no small inconvenience). At least now I know who to blame. It’s my car, gosh-dangit. And she has a mission of her own.

Okay, Deb, next time this happens, I will calmly pet her soft little dashboard for her silly shenanigans rather than smashing my head repeatedly against the steering wheel! 

15 comments:

  1. I, too, have found myself driving and after miles I don't actually remember driving the route I just passed through. It is a weird mind f...... Sometimes I truly believe my car is driving me the right way whether I remember or not how I passed through the past 5 miles or so.

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  2. That is so funny.My car also has a mind of it's own,but a different mind of it's own. I am on the road a lot. Sometimes I am on the road all day. I have come to learn now that my car has an attitude problem,and a BIG one at that. See now my car has decided that when I am driving it that it will just STOP in the middle of the street,or say when I am stopped at a stop light and it's time to go it will just stay stopped for a sec. At first I thought it was just something with my car but every time I take it to get it fixed they all say the same thing"Your car is in good condiction,there is nothing wrong with it". So youu see why I say that my car has a mind of it's own. I don't think that my car has ever took me the wrong way before at least I don't think so,but I am sure that will be the next thing it will do. I still like my car but my car needs to get it's self in gear and stop pulling attitude. And for heaven sakes stop stopping in the middle of roads or stop turning off by it's self.

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  3. Madge and Lyndsie I am so glad I am not alone. I was beginning to think I might have a Steven King car on my hands.

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  4. Nothing unusual, my car gets lost on purpose to get me to play along. It's also been known to drive round and round all day in a large circle at prodigious speeds for hundreds of kms all the while making me wear a helmet! C'mon ladies, admit it now: you love driving and your vehicles are on to you!

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  5. *points upward* That might be my husband :) And, yes, he "tracks" his car. But he might be onto something about loving to drive...

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  6. You got me pongobaz-BUSTED!

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  7. forgive me for bringing a different perspective to the levity, but I wonder if it's really your car leading you astray. reading this, I can't help but think that ending up on the wrong side of town is a metaphor for what happens when we are on autopilot, when we aren't paying attention to what our souls really need--so instead of going on vacation or taking 15 minutes to meditate, we turn off our brain another way and end up far from our intended destination--and far from what our spirit is calling for. :)

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  8. A serious point, Lori, but an excellent one. Our brains take over and say, I need a break. My car is often my meditation room. It's the one place no one can bother me!

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  9. And my kids keep telling me to get GPS because I'm always getting lost around Atlanta?

    I'd end up in Texas if I'm not careful!

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  10. I just got my car back after a month of it being out of commission. It felt so good to be behind the wheel. My car seemed to go on autopilot as well. We ended up at the local grocery store and I felt it fitting to get a bottle of wine to celebrate being mobile again :)

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  11. Awesome - I thought I was losing my mind. So glad it is the car. Last winter I drove to work and after work was giving a co-worker a drive to the subway just a few blocks down the same street. However, we ended up at Sunnybrook hospital across town and no where near a subway station. I thought I was losing my mind but now that I know cars do that, I feel much better. But now I worry that the car was trying to tell me something and I best book a physical with my doctor.

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  12. Hi Lori,yes you totally read between the lines. Actually it happens to me when my mind is TOO active, when I am thinking of a million things at once. Sometimes when I am thinking through a blog idea-ironically. Hey Lisa, if you do end up in Texas, go have a smart lunch! I love it Ruth, a lovely shared moment between woman and car. Al you're right. Maybe your car was trying to keep you healthy, like the animal hero shows who warn their masters of fire, or illness. Maybe your car is the "checkup police".

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  13. All I can say here Barbara and Deb,

    My Car can get to Asbury Park,NJ any day of the year.
    Knows the roads, turns, tolls, all 110 miles
    Then I call Bums to tell him Mojo and I had a slight detour and will return in a few hours. Just do not know how my car does it. Mind of its own and I love it.
    Fun Blog.

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  14. The thing I really hate is when my car takes me to work on the weekend.
    erica

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  15. Miss Kathi,that is a car on a mission. He's got his Mojo on for sure.
    Erica and Christy that killed me. Idiot car. tell it that it's Saturday for heaven's sake.

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