Monday, June 6, 2011

Nursing The Blurt

Barbara: So we’ve talked here about how we’ve blurted awkward things (“How far along are you?” to someone who isn’t pregnant) and lived to rue the day. But yesterday, I was on the receiving end.

Yup. It hurts.

Last year I wrote about my sister’s amazing dance festival, remember? It is one of my most cherished yearly celebrations. But yesterday, a series of snafus almost kept me from attending. First there was the pounding thunderstorm that caused the cancelation of the outdoor events, then the blackouts that threatened the indoor ones, then when I was finally confident I could make the one hour trek to Guelph and enjoy the scheduled performances, I realized I had to drop my daughter and her friend off at a point halfway between my home and the festival. All this to say that I had exactly one minute to spare to pick up my ticket and find my seat when I finally arrived at the theatre, drenched in sweat and panting breathlessly. “The ticket is under Radecki,” I say to the box office clerk. Who answers, excited, clearly honoured to meet me, “Radecki?! Are you Catrina’s mother?!”  

The world implodes. As does my ego. Did you hear it in Arkansas? It was loud.

“I’m her sister,” I say. I can honestly say I answered graciously. My eyes might have averted a bit. I may have busied myself with some fictitious purse searching. The clerk immediately scrambled. “Oh, I didn’t mean that. It’s just that we were JUST talking about Catrina’s mom and her art. And I was going to ask, Did you have her when you were five? I hope you don’t…” Her cringing was as horrible as my own.

Please believe me when I say: I’m not telling you this to get your outraged support or your encouragement of my youthful good looks. Really. I am telling you because it happened. And it happens to all of us at some time. And talking about it makes it seem way funnier than the incessant reverberating in my brain: “her mother?” “her mother?” “her MOTHER?!!!”

I feel bad for the blurter. We’ve all done it at some time and must be let off the proverbial hook. But I can also say that I am going to have to work frickin’ hard to wash that blurt from my brain and let it go. At least the show was awesome!

Deb: Oh yes. Oh yes. I have been on the receiving end of this one, my dear. My Dad is 84 and I was taking him to one of his many doctor’s appointments and the nurse said “I’m sorry, Mr. McGrath, but I’m going to have to take some blood,” and Dad said, “As long as it comes with a kiss, nurse,” and she said (you know where this is going don’t you?), “Well, Mr. McGrath, I’ll leave the kissing up to your wife here.” Do I need to say anything else? HE IS 84!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And darling Barb, I know you were not looking for an ego boost but all I can tell you, dear readers, is that Barb’s gorgeous photos do not do her beauty justice. She is a stunner. At Stef’s fashion show last year, I thought, “Wow, they look like they could be sisters”. And believe me, that’s no insult to Stef!

PS On a yummier note, we have a new Deco Tip and Easy Recipe for you guys this week!

22 comments:

  1. Oh wow. People can be so hurtful sometimes. I remember in grade school how I had really short hair I mean it was really short hair. Everytime I would go to school I would have one of my class mates come up and call a boy. I always use to hate that. I remember going home and just getting so upset because of people mastaken me as a boy. Even on the streets when I was little people would stop my mother and say " You have a beautiful son" . REALLY REALLY,COME ON now. Well I think I should everyone now that I am no boy.

    Lyndsie

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  2. This is when people don't mean to be hurtful. It's the toughest one because then both parties feel awful. And there's really no "cure". Look at how you remember the hair incident, Lyndsie! Let us purge our hurts by laughing them off! (and I'm sure no one mistakes you for a boy anymore ;) )

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  3. Very true.


    Lyndsie

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  4. I've stuck my foot in my mouth with that one. Invited to my spouse's parents' home for supper, I wasn't aware that his sister would be there, and when I saw her, and she looked exactly like my spouse, I exclaimed, "You must be Scott's mom!"

    Er, no.
    She still speaks to me, somehow. Considering that was 20 years ago and she'd only have been 30, I'm not sure why she does.

    I also remember the first time a stranger said something letting me know a younger woman in a liquor store could've been my daughter. She was in her twenties and I in my forties, so it made sense, but did it have to be obvious? Sheesh.

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  5. I have a neighborhood friend who is my kids age but she is my friend and we were somewhere and someone said you must be her mother. At first I thought no way I am her friend and then I realized I could be her mother. Sometimes we think younger than we really do look. I have put my foot in my mouth so many times I have stopped counting. You get that privilege when you are older. Love the blog today and everyday.

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  6. Uggghhhhh....ok, hi, yes, guilty as charged. So many freaking times I've let my big mouth get the best of me. Thanks for the reminder to hold my tongue every now and then! :)

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  7. Kate, that's the jab, right there.. Exactly how (and probably why) it happened. Madge, the woman who said it to me was older (which is kinda ironic), but maybe I should attribute it to her age :)! And Holly, sure we need to watch what we say, but sometimes our earnest enthusiasm gets the better of us. I do forgive her. Now I need to forget, lol!

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  8. I think this is a perfect example of how as a general rule, we are not paying attention. we are (all) too distracted by the weather, the traffic, the amount of faces we see each day, our obligations, responsibilities, anxieties, wishes, dreams, thoughts, relationships, worries about our kids, and the ridiculous details it takes to do even one single thing these days. I think "blurting" is a symptom of not thinking before you speak, because we're all too revved up by life to take our time to think first. I think that perhaps this is what was at the heart of your "blurtee" incident. Had the box office clerk really taken the time to actually process who was in front of her, rather than paying attention to her own rapidly firing synapses, she would have clearly seen that you were not old enough to be your sister's mother.

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  9. Lori, I think you describe the "how" of it to perfection. So so true. Even though I detail how out of breath and overwhelmed I was arriving at the box office, I still think I looked pretty good!! :)

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  10. I always have the complaint of being mistaken for being significantly younger than I am. It's led to some embarrassing situations. One in particular is quite memorable as another parent who thought I was too young to have children assumed I was a babysitter and pulled off my nursing blanket while I was nursing. Another time I was asked if my husband was my Dad(he is actually less then 2 years older than me), that was embarrasing for both of us although not as much as the nursing incident.

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  11. A great post! It's funny and yet it hits way to close to home for comfort. I've been on the receiving end so many times. I agree with Lori in that most of the time we aren't paying very close attention.
    Molly

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  12. Oh, Erin!! I'm still trying to wrap my head around the idea that someone pulled your nursing blanket off. It defies belief -- even if they thought you were the babysitter!

    Thanks, Molly. And I totally agree. Paying attention is probably our toughest assignment!

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  13. Lori, great timing - I've just started watching the BBC's latest version of "Sherlock", and he just commented on how boring it must be inside the head of the DI and Watson, because they simply don't pay attention to the world like he does.

    I think we're primed to find it amazing when people actually notice things around us, because we (and I am speaking generally here) are so caught up in our own heads, and in responding before stopping to think if what we're saying - or thinking - is appropriate *or* accurate.

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  14. LOving all the comments today! Shooting top to bottom with no time for in depth comments but just wanted to give a shout out to all who did!

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  15. I tend not to be a blurter (my "edit" button seems to take up the majority of my brain), but I have been on the receiving end. I don't think most people mean any harm by it, they just don't stop and think before they say those things.

    (And I think Blogger must have been having a temper tantrum or something last week, because this is the first time in a week I've been able to successfully sign in and post anything. Silly Blogger...*sigh*)

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  16. My grandmother has beautiful, youthful skin, so on more than one occasion, she and my mother have been mistaken for being sisters. Fortunately, both take it as a compliment!

    I too, have been on the receiving end of such a 'foot-in-mouth' comment: I tend to be my little brother (who is a fair bit younger than me)'s personal taxi driver. One day I drove around to his girlfriend's house to pick him up and her father (who had not yet met Mum or Dad) came out to greet me and said 'you must be D's mum! Hi! I'm ... (I actually can't remember his name lol)' His face when I cracked up laughing and informed him that no, I'm actually D's sister, was priceless. I was however, extremely flattered that he thought I'd actually be old enough to be his mother, as I am usually mistaken for a 12 year old, and I told him 'Thanks! You just made my day' :)

    However, if I had been mistaken for my older sister's mother, I probably wouldn't have taken it quite so well haha

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  17. April, Yes, there were numerous issues with Blogger last week, argh! Crossing fingers that they are dealing with them. And thanks for trying!

    Elle, when I was young, I liked that people thought I was older (I felt so mature), now...not so much!

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  18. When my brother was 8 years old, one of his friends thought I was his mother - I was 16 at the time.

    A few years later, someone believed me to be my sister's mother and she's only 4 years younger than I am..

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  19. Hi Helle! This is so funny -- it's hard to believe a 20 year old could be mistaken for a mom to a 16 year old! But I think that emphasizes just how little people pay attention sometimes (as a few people have commented here).

    For the record, my sister is 5 years younger than me and looks very young.

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  20. So, Barbara, that explains it. There was an odd ka-thump in the ground the other day. I checked the CERI earthquake map for my part of the NMZ, and it didn't show a tremor for that time. Now, I know what it was I felt here in Arkansas. ;) *hugs*

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  21. Rigel, that was for you, baby ;)

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  22. ;) Kinda figured. *hugs*

    We have plenty of ka-thumps in the ground around here without your help, young lady! Stop rattling the pots and pans in my kitchen cabinets! lol

    *resumes nomming on my plate of tomato salad and bowl of homemade cheesy mashed potatoes*

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