Before too long our initial motives paled and we found ourselves falling down the rabbit hole, in love with this world and its bright eclectic bloggers and followers.
After that, the blog became a joy! Except when it wasn’t...
“Hi Deb, it’s Barb, no pressure but just reminding you that it’s your blog tomorrow, bye.”
“FUCK!”
Other than the odd panicked glitch, it has been a giant joy and learning experience. It’s opened my world literally and figuratively.
Then something else happened. Something diabolical. It crept up on me without my noticing for almost a year. Then it hit me. The blog had started writing me! I am sure many of you have fallen into this trap.
You know what I’m talking about, that bloggy line between writing and living. I’ll be going about my day and suddenly something lousy happens and I am irritated to hell and ready to let loose a hockey team of obscenities, but I stop and think, “Okay, so this is the shittiest thing that has happened to me since I was 7, but it will make a hell of a blog.”
Or (thoughts in my head during concert): Wow, Hugh Jackman is so talented and charming and I am loving this show so much ... heyyyyyyyyy, I can blog about this!
And then my mind wanders off and starts constructing said blog and I miss a good portion of the second act because I am busy typing on my brain’s computer about things in the show that I am clearly missing because I have stepped out of the moment and plunked myself down into my head.
And then my mind wanders off and starts constructing said blog and I miss a good portion of the second act because I am busy typing on my brain’s computer about things in the show that I am clearly missing because I have stepped out of the moment and plunked myself down into my head.
Oh I am so clever, I think to self. Look at me, enjoying the show and working at the same time. I am a time saving genius.
So how do I separate real life from bloggish intent? I have bastardized this phrase before in a blog but it fits again here. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to blog about it, did it really fall? Not in my world, baby, not in my world.
Now make no mistake, I censor myself often by choosing to keep many things that happen in my life private. Well, not many. Two.
Have I really become that person who gets the flu and instantly thinks, “Oh, this is great ‘cause I will just have to lay in bed and read and then I can blog about why don’t we just lay in bed and read? Why does it take getting ill to bring it about?”
Or someone screams at me in traffic and as I see him get out of his car and approach me, baseball bat in hand, steam pouring out of his ears and I think, “Oh My God, this will be such a great blog.”
Yes, I have become that person.
I was in a shop dressing room yesterday trying on one of those Haute Hippie flowing tops with the luminous large sleeves, hoping that I looked fabulous in it but knowing otherwise.
The shop gal agreed saying, “ Yes, it’s lovely, but it looks like it’s wearing you, not the other way around.” And I jumped right out of the moment and thought, What a great analogy for this blog!
So ... yeah ... ummm, my blog is wearing me.
Barbara: Yup. Yup, yup, yup, yup.
I hope it at least goes with my eyes, but, yup, the blog is certainly wearing me too.
I know it’s bad when I can’t wait to hear what our blog buddies are going to say about a certain event over, say, my parents or (so embarrassed) my husband. (Oh, Rigel will know all about this. Or, Kate is going to get a kick out of this one. Or, Tart will tell us to take our clothes off and Gae will want us to dance and Molly will start another theatre company and Lyndsie will have the sweetest take ever and Madge will put it all in perspective and Hollye will break my friggin heart then heal it again all in the space of one single comment, etc, etc, etc).
I think the biggest surprise for me has been finding so many kindred spirits out there. Truly, you all have virtually (like that entendre?) slayed me. How can I not think of you throughout my day? I’m in virtual first love. And I really want you to know what made me mad on any given day, what made me laugh, what made my day.
I guess we just have to make sure our days don’t get manufactured in order to have something to write about, huh Deb? (Please, Divine Being, deliver unto me some interesting event or perspective today because I am all outta posts.)
Oh how true these words are today. My blogs just pop up from time to time when the mood hits. Not sure I could do it as regularly as you two. But I sure love getting your wonderful stories.
ReplyDeleteOh I can so relate to this, especially during my time here in England. Most of my blogs are from random stuff that has happened to me! :)
ReplyDeleteMy own blog is about to reach its 500th post. So,yep, I know exactly what you are talking about. I'll be doing something or I'll hear the kids doing something amusing and I'll think I have got to blog about this! When I have a hard time sleeping, I'll compose a blog entry in my head. Those are the most fabulous blog ideas and I think up the most wonderfully articulate wording for them. Unfortunately I usually fall asleep before I finish the idea and then I've forgotten it by the next morning. Hmm, maybe I should blog about that.
ReplyDelete-Molly
My blog is also very random. I kinda think of my blog as kinda my own little journal that every one can read. For me, I can just be standing At work, or talking to someone when I think of something random that I want to write a blog about. I love my blog and am actually posting another one tonight. If anyone looks at my blog you will see that he whole reason thAt my blog is called " LIfe As We Know It" is because most if the time I write about things that go on in my life and things that happen in the world. Blog world is great and everones blog that I reAd is ways good.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean, this past week spent on holidays I promised I wasn't going to think about anything but being on vacation but I couldn't help the occasional thought of "this would make a good blog post" popping into my head. It does simplify writing one out when most of it is already done in my head though.
ReplyDeleteAren't we funny creatures?! Creatures of this new habit :)
ReplyDeleteOh, this is fabulous! I think I've ALWAYS been a person whose idea of a successful experience is that I felt like writing about it, but with blogging I can write about ALL of them! And I adore this blog community like crazy... Definitely has helped me feel less isolated about being that odd person who prefers to put my fingers to the keys or pen to paper over... you know... all the other stuff. In real life I think I thought I pulled off the farce for a long time... but now I know what it is that was up... I'm a writer and experience is just different for us.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the shout out!!!
I had this problem with photography for a long time, and it's one of the reasons I don't do a lot of photography anymore - I would get so focused on the shot that I would lose the moment.
ReplyDeleteI have always been a writer, and seen the world through that lens, so it's a bit easier to not get lost in it for the words. However, it's always in the back of my mind - lose the moment or retain the memory.
Thankfully, once I realized that people were more interested in my impressions than my accurate play-by-plays, it got a lot easier to just focus on the moment and count that what I remembered and wrote about later would be the things people would naturally find compelling, since it is what made the impact on me in the first place.
Oh do I ever hear you. Unfortunately, life has given me soooo much to blog about recently, but if I didn't have my blog to process it all out, I think I'd be in the looney bin. I think to myself...how do people who don't blog get through life? HOW?
ReplyDeleteNo matter what I'm doing, I can hear the writer in my head narrating it...taking copious notes, getting all the details down so I can relay it to my readers later.
But when I get sick to hell of myself and my inner ramblings I come here for a BREAK! The inner workings of your two minds is like a tropical vacation from my own- so don't ever stop!
Love you girls...
A while back someone said to me a phrase that's stuck with me. I think it fits. I blog, therefore I am.
ReplyDeleteThis post was full of great phrases. A hockey team of obscenities,bloggish intent. Love those.
I blog therefore I am. Yup. I also relate to what all of you are saying re the whole wonderful outlet for the writer inside. And Kelly, especially that comment you made about people being more interested in the impressions than the play-by-play. So true. And so it's why I love writing here too (as you guys all say), it has made me so much more confident creatively because every blog post is like a microcosm. Thanks all of you!!! xo
ReplyDeleteI love this so much. I wanted to blog more while I was in the Highlands but wifi in the hostel was a bit rubbish...ahhhh stupid Scottish jargon.
ReplyDeleteThis is making me exciting for when sis (Holly) and I start our joint blog! You lovely ladies have been a big inspiration for it! Thanks for sharing all of these with us avid readers! :]
Ha. Doncha go around hoping for stuff to happen so you can write about it? I do that too. I like turning the crickets bugging the crap out of me when I'm trying to sleep, into something funny. It's cathartic. Afterwards I'm not so annoyed and I find the humor in it.
ReplyDeleteGosh ain't the internet grand! :)
Karen
Karen Frazier
Madge I figured these words would strike a chord with other writers. Sorry I have not weighed in yet today all. I have been in the sky on our way home from Vancouver. So I will answer two at a time while unpacking and ummm-pouring the vino!
ReplyDeleteYeah Holly the random stuff is so fun isn't it?
Happy 500 Molly!-hey, you can BLOG about it! :-)
ReplyDeleteAnd Lyndsie, random can be great!I know Erin, it's great because it's all mapped out before we even sit down at the keyboard isn't it? Hart I loved everything you said about the community and the process.
Kelly 2, the comparison to your photography was really interesting. I am a basic photographer, you know people at family and friend events so I have no skill in that arena but I can totally picture (no pun intended) how it could be so consuming. Love you too, Hollye and I hope that life will soon serve you nothing but joyous blog ideas. xo
ReplyDeleteKelly as you can tell i have been at a hockey game or two. Kelly I loved to hear the Scottish jargon from you! Achhh it's nay a butha! Rubbish indeed! Yes Karen it is grand indeed!
ReplyDeletejust reminded of an episode of "House" i just re-watched with Laura Prepon (from "That 70s Show") about a woman who pretty much blogged her entire life. her boyfriend got upset because he thought she was taking "their" input more seriously than his (y'all don't seem to have that problem. i'm guessing it helps if you involve your SOs in the process.)
ReplyDeletei don't blog myself, mainly because nothing interesting happens to me & i'm not passionate about any subject to devote all my writing toward it.
but i do keep a journal and 2011's has been about writing down one positive thing every day. it's almost August & i'm still at it, so i must be doing something right.
and i'm okay with that.
best of luck to you both and to quote a famous philosopher: "All I can do is be me. Whoever that is." - Bob Dylan
"All I can do is be me. Whoever that is." You made my day in a big way with that. Thanks Meridith and Bob! Saaaaaawwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeet.
ReplyDeleteI think it's also a great form of therapy when that lil voice tells us "we must be the only person to do such things & we must be crazy" ... then our friends gather round & tell us they do the exact same thing (or worse).
ReplyDeleteSo even if we are crazy, we're all enjoying the trip together! ;D
And a crazy trip it is Erin...and don't we all love it. As you say-free therapy.
ReplyDeletewe should take off our clothes and dance to this.
ReplyDeleteI don't blog, but I like to use Facebook and Twitter. I use them to share my daily experiences, shoot messages back and forth with friends, post jokes and quotes, or, sometimes, ask switch shifts with a co-worker! lol
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of getting to know people who may have a LOT in common, or nothing in common with me! It's so darned fun to get to know you gals! :)
Gae that is fantastic! Let's, shall we? And Beth Some of the wittiest things I read are on FB so it's a great place for you to be. I was going to do Twitter but at this point (given that I am a never say never gal) I cannot take it on. But it's great that you do. And just to set the record straight and ONLY for anal little me-the title was supposed to be WHEN all Roads Lead to Blog. Bloggie glitch!
ReplyDeleteI keep thinking about starting a blog, but I am not sure what I want to blog about. So I put it off. I appreciate reading what you are up to.
ReplyDeleteFor about the past 14 hours, I've tried to figure out how to write a comment responding to this post. I've probably written 100 different paragraphs in 100 different ways in my head. But, it always gets too intense. So much thinking and feeling gets spun up inside my head that I become inarticulate and rattled. When I try to figure out how to put into words how grateful I am for Barbara and Deb and the incredible community of people (so many writers!) that has sprung up around this blog (Hi, Ruth!), it gets too intense, too meaningful, too personal. It's hard to believe that it's only been a smidgen over a year because so much about me has changed for the better as a result of Barbara and Deb and y'all wonderful women coming into my life. So many things crowd into my mind all at once, flying around, pounding, scattering my thinking when I try to figure out how to express my gratitude to Barbara and Deb. Everything from writing to lipstick to secrets to music to a wildest dream come true and on and on. So intense. So meaningful. I've been trying to figure out how to write it out, to articulate it all. But, instead, it just makes me feel quiet and curling into myself.
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is that this blog community is an answer to a prayer that I didn't even know how to pray. I love y'all. And, I am very grateful.
Shawn as you can see by our blog, the minutiae of life is a good start. Anything you want a forum for!
ReplyDeleteRigel you may have tried several times to articulate but I think you nailed it with this. Simple and from the heart. You know that we are grateful for you too. This is one supportive group of people isn't it? It's also a nice safe place to get our guts out!!!
Rigel, I think you actually articulated your feelings as if they were my own. That's how I feel too!! So grateful for this community and all its opening of heart and soul, for laughter, for tears, for comfort. Love you all!!
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree with Deb, Shawn, I don't think we ever thought we'd know what all we'd write about and yet here we are day after day (well, day after second day ;) ) with stuff just pouring out (it's like breaking the seal).
A note to all: I was a little tipsy after a night of celebrating with my dad and sister etc and posted this blog with not too much attention being paid. Left off the "When" in the title. Fixed it. Meaning correct now!!
I think what I also love about blogging is that in SOME way, almost everything you write connects with someone in some way. Or you look back at something you wrote a long time ago thinking "holy crap...I wrote THAT?!" then you spawn off on either "man that's really awesome" or "man what was I thinking?"
ReplyDeleteI think what I just wrote will hopefully spawn off the first comment. feel free to read if you wish
http://stirlingabroad.blogspot.com/2011/07/if-i-become-stranger.html
Thank you ladies for all your writings. I'm so glad that I found this blog :]
Kelly I just checked out your link and loved it. Left a comment there. And you are right. It is so nice if a post resonates with even one person isn't it? Wonderful if it's more. And regards your blog, here's something you will like-my husband's family motto which we have in latin in our stained glass door is "I choose to be, rather than seem to be" Neat huh?
ReplyDeleteI've been blogging for 100 years — or it feels that way — and loving other people's blogs, and it has not only brought me many new and supportive friends, but brought closer some old friends with whom I didn't keep in touch in other ways.
ReplyDeleteBlogging in my case is just cherrypicking bits from my private journal, and sharing them. It's like writing into a diary ... and being answered. A living diary; a diary with a voice; a diary that talks back!
And getting to read other people's diaries ... woo hoo!
But mostly, seeing the kindness and support that bloggers and readers show each other ... it is very inspiring. People are GOOD.
Kate I adore this concept. A LIVING DIARY. Diary with a voice. Wonderful. And Yes I agree. People are Good.
ReplyDelete