When I'm Too Tired To...

Barbara: We all have times of super-power energy and then times of downright oomphlessness, right? Anyway, I do. There are times I have a million things to do and I can not only accomplish every one of them, but I feel like I could take on even more! And there are times when I can hardly do one or two things—and then feel guilty about my lack of drive.

I am in an oomphless slump right now. I don’t know if it’s from coming home from a break with my family (last week’s ski holiday), maybe a bit of lingering jet lag, maybe a bit of disconnect between off-time and up-time, maybe a bit of overwhelmed stress at all the things I didn’t tend to while I was gone and now must. But there it is.

This is the first time I’ve looked at my blank blog page and not known what to write about. How I wish for pithy insights or deep pondering to pop up on the page. Wish wish wish.

Funny thing is, I’ve been pretty introspective lately, with some really interesting personal musings stirring up and some subtle but distinct internal shifts, but I CANNOT REMEMBER A SINGLE ONE OF THEM. There was something about sports training and life I wanted to bounce off you and something else about writing. But I can’t for the life of me pull them from the miasma of my brain to the forefront of this blog.

Listen, don’t worry about me (if that’s your tendency). All is good. I’m happy. I’ve got cool things I’m busy with. But my brain feels tired. It doesn’t want to think. But it does. But it doesn’t. But it does. (See what horror I’ve wrought?)

As a last ditch effort to engage you, I’ll leave you with this: last night I was having dinner with a friend and we were discussing her long string of unbelievably bad luck and how she’s had to focus on keeping up with it all—like a cowboy riding a wild bronco—while her life-goals get left behind to watch enviously from the sidelines. And I don’t know if it’s related or not (remember my brain is on holiday), but I did wonder if sometimes we need to just ride the bronco and hold on for dear life, and sometimes we need to gently but firmly steer our life-goals away from the sidelines, and sometimes, sometimes, we need to look at a blank page and just … do … nothing.

Deb: Barbara, how many times in our lives have we heard the phrase “listen to your body”? This blog choice is clearly a case of “listen to your brain”. I think it’s great that you shut down and admitted you had “nothing”. As you know I have employed this concept in the past regards our blog to relaxing results. And the beauty of our blog-faithful is that because of their wonderful support (always!) we feel we can do this and they will be behind us. Sometimes we just have to shut down the mechanism to make ready the new assembly line of ideas. After all, it’s not like you were taking a huge exam or readying yourself to apply for a job. Your brain was simply putting its feet up ... amongst friends. Has anyone else had a recent shut down they care to share? 

Brain on a Break. Drawn for us by our wonderful blog-buddy, Becki. Copied with permission!

When All Roads Lead To Blog

Deb: To be frank, when Barb and I first started our blog the intent behind it was to hopefully get our names out there and to promote any projects we might have in the works.

Before too long our initial motives paled and we found ourselves falling down the rabbit hole, in love with this world and its bright eclectic bloggers and followers.

After that, the blog became a joy! Except when it wasn’t...

 “Hi Deb, it’s Barb, no pressure but just reminding you that it’s your blog tomorrow, bye.”

“FUCK!”

Other than the odd panicked glitch, it has been a giant joy and learning experience. It’s opened my world literally and figuratively.

Then something else happened. Something diabolical. It crept up on me without my noticing for almost a year. Then it hit me. The blog had started writing me! I am sure many of you have fallen into this trap.

You know what I’m talking about, that bloggy line between writing and living. I’ll be going about my day and suddenly something lousy happens and I am irritated to hell and ready to let loose a hockey team of obscenities, but I stop and think, “Okay, so this is the shittiest thing that has happened to me since I was 7, but it will make a hell of a blog.”

Or (thoughts in my head during concert): Wow, Hugh Jackman is so talented and charming and I am loving this show so much ... heyyyyyyyyy, I can blog about this! 

And then my mind wanders off and starts constructing said blog and I miss a good portion of the second act because I am busy typing on my brain’s computer about things in the show that I am clearly missing because I have stepped out of the moment and plunked myself down into my head. 

Oh I am so clever, I think to self. Look at me, enjoying the show and working at the same time. I am a time saving genius.

So how do I separate real life from bloggish intent? I have bastardized this phrase before in a blog but it fits again here. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to blog about it, did it really fall? Not in my world, baby, not in my world.

Now make no mistake, I censor myself often by choosing to keep many things that happen in my life private. Well, not many. Two.

Have I really become that person who gets the flu and instantly thinks, “Oh, this is great ‘cause I will just have to lay in bed and read and then I can blog about why don’t we just lay in bed and read? Why does it take getting ill to bring it about?”

Or someone screams at me in traffic and as I see him get out of his car and approach me, baseball bat in hand, steam pouring out of his ears and I think, “Oh My God, this will be such a great blog.”

Yes, I have become that person.

I was in a shop dressing room yesterday trying on one of those Haute Hippie flowing tops with the luminous large sleeves, hoping that I looked fabulous in it but knowing otherwise.

The shop gal agreed saying, “ Yes, it’s lovely, but it looks like it’s wearing you, not the other way around.”  And I jumped right out of the moment and thought, What a great analogy for this blog!

So ... yeah ... ummm, my blog is wearing me.

Barbara: Yup. Yup, yup, yup, yup.

I hope it at least goes with my eyes, but, yup, the blog is certainly wearing me too.

I know it’s bad when I can’t wait to hear what our blog buddies are going to say about a certain event over, say, my parents or (so embarrassed) my husband. (Oh, Rigel will know all about this. Or, Kate is going to get a kick out of this one. Or, Tart will tell us to take our clothes off and Gae will want us to dance and Molly will start another theatre company and Lyndsie will have the sweetest take ever and Madge will put it all in perspective and Hollye will break my friggin heart then heal it again all in the space of one single comment, etc, etc, etc).

I think the biggest surprise for me has been finding so many kindred spirits out there. Truly, you all have virtually (like that entendre?) slayed me. How can I not think of you throughout my day? I’m in virtual first love. And I really want you to know what made me mad on any given day, what made me laugh, what made my day.

I guess we just have to make sure our days don’t get manufactured in order to have something to write about, huh Deb? (Please, Divine Being, deliver unto me some interesting event or perspective today because I am all outta posts.)

PS We posted a new Deco Tip and Recipe last Saturday!!