|My head shot. Just in case.|
Those wacky threes.
So here I am again. Actor for hire. Looking for work. Putting myself out there. I couldn’t help but reflect on the differences between my out of work 27-year-old self and my out of work 57-year-old self.
27 (through tears): Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. I’ll never work again, nobody likes me. I’m too short. I hate this business. How did SHE get a show? Idiots! I can’t go out there, I’m the world’s worst auditioner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
57 (sitting in yard with a good book): Oh yeah, guess this means I’ll have to get a job. I think I’ll go to a beach house for a week first. Yeah it can wait. Something will come along I’m sure. Whatever. I’ll think about that tomorrow. Yeah tomorrow. Or maybe next week, yeah next week. You know what, I think I’ll deal with it in the fall. After Labour Day. Oh look, a hummingbird!
I truly believe everything happens for a reason. Well not the liver spot that has appeared on my jawline. That is just unexplained bullshit. But things have always come to me when I needed them and I have to believe it will be the same this time. In the meantime I will continue to work with Colin, Barb, and Sheila who are my collaborators and come up with ideas. And I will continue to write. So, hell, what’s wrong with this picture?
One thing has not changed however. I am in fact the world’s worst audtioner. I believe I have mentioned this before. But I am going to adopt a new attitude about it. I will try and conquer it once again. I will try to show a modicum of talent when I audition. I will not let it shorten my life when I know I have to go in and read for something. I will make choices. I will be bold. Every fiber of my being will scream, “CHOOSE ME!”
Until then, I am chillin’ at a beautiful beach house not giving a tinker’s cuss.
Barbara: Once again, as serendipity will have it, I am in the same boat as my buddy, Deb. Every single project that was an absolute guaranteed “go” has now either self-combusted or been put on one of those vague start-date schedules that sound good in theory because they’re not a definite no. (“Yeah, I have these projects in development, and they’re like super-awesome and stuff, and everybody is really super-psyched about them, and they’ll probably go in like the next like two months or something. Or years, you know, whatever.”) It’s like being a really talented lottery picker. You’ve got great numbers, but the chances of them hitting are maybe to none.
But, like you, I’m more chill this year than I’ve ever been. I do believe that when you forget where your priorities are, life will step in and remind you. And sometimes your priorities need to be a good book, a good friend, and a good glass of wine (and a beach house if you can get it)!