Wednesday, September 14, 2011

The Biggest Little Decision

Barbara: The other day I was talking on the phone with my daughter (yes, I’m hanging in there) (she, btw, is flying high) about her course choices at university. She was contemplating how overwhelming and sometimes confusing the sheer volume was. And I found myself telling her that if she didn’t worry about opening herself up to new experiences, if she really paid attention, really listened, she might find herself learning something critical from even the most unlikely course, something utterly unexpected that could impact her whole life.

Later I told my husband about this discussion and he reminded me that he’d wanted me to watch the Steve Jobs video of his 2005 commencement speech at Stanford (you know, the genius behind Apple and Pixar and other such minor accomplishments.) So I did (and I’ve attached it at the bottom here), and within the first five minutes, Steve describes a calligraphy course he dropped into at college out of random curiosity and how that calligraphy course ended up informing the signature design esthetic at Apple (and, as a result, at all their competitors too).

I’ve made a lot of huge decisions in my life. I can feel the whoosh of that leap of faith in my gut. And those big leaps are great and important. But I started to count all the things that have come into my life thanks to seemingly random and innocuous events. And I realized just how many so-called little moments in my life turned into huge turning points.

For the sake of brevity, I’ll describe one—maybe my favourite. On a whim, out of creative boredom maybe, maybe just for the excuse of a girl’s night out, I went to a series of seminars with my dear friend, Angie. They were interesting and informative, but never ended up changing my life in and of themselves (there was no light bulb moment, no epiphanies, no major shifts) … until Angie and I found ourselves in conversation with a director looking for a project and a team to produce it. Angie happened to have a wonderful story idea that she threw into the mix—and a team was suddenly created, a film was soon born. Out of nowhere, out of nothing but chance and curiosity and, of course, creative flow. Now this film went on to be blessed with not just that one stroke of amazing synchronicity, but with many others as the cast, crew, and financing came together in probably record time for film world. Within less than a year we had wrapped production on a little indie film called Expecting that ended up touring the North American film festival circuit (and even won some prizes and accolades along the way), being made into a DVD, and still sometimes airing on Canadian television.

And the cherry on this cake of a story? That project is where I met and fell in love with Deb McGrath and Colin Mochrie. And while the film itself may be far from the buzz now, the memories and this friendship topped all my expectations. Not all our random conversations or crappy course choices will necessarily turn out to be that important, but I can say this: that random conversation certainly ended up changing my life. 

Deb: Barb, to remember that seed of a friendship, growing from such a time as 9/11 still amazes me.  Our friendship quite took me by surprise as you well know. I didn’t notice it at the first snap of the photo, but when I looked later at the picture, it was stupendous.





And thanks to Karen Frazier who just found the trailer for Expecting!


21 comments:

  1. This is so true, only I would never know it if I didn't take the time to stop and think about it. Thanks for the reminder because too often I don't slow down to reflect on life. christy

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  2. I have listened to this speech and it is wonderful. I have some moments like what you have had as well. I once told a story on stage and met a woman who has since broadened my horizons and through various twists and turns have allowed me to meet so many wonderful writers and artists including you two.

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  3. Me too, Christy, I would never have thought about it myself if my daughter wasn't having this conundrum. Also, got my wonderful dog because a woman (who I'd never seen before, btw) walked past my house with her dog just when I was contemplating the whole pet ownership thing, and she told me where she got her little guy and so that's where we went (a farm north of Toronto). That was such a serendipitous moment (and I've never seen that woman again...)

    Madge, yes, yes, YES: the twists and turns that brought us into this blog world where we met all you wonderful people! On the surface, so random, in reality, so transformative.

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  4. This is so wonderful!!! It really is awesome when you look back on all the "big things" in your life and realize that most of them were just spontaneous whims! :)

    P.S. I would LOVE to see this movie! Shall try to find it now...

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  5. This post has everything I love about you two. Your friendship, your creativity, your ability to take something and run with it.

    Congratulations on your first success together. Your beginning seems charmed and you've hung on to that.

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  6. I'm looking for that film as well. :)
    So envious of you guys relationship. When it works it's so wonderful. I had one like it but when you throw a single woman with no kids in the mix things can get messy. That relationship lasted 18 years. I miss it terribly but it just wasn't meant to be. I'm glad for you that you recognize how much you mean to each other, ya lucky stiffs. :)
    hugs n quiches,
    Karen

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  7. Here's the trailer for "Expecting" http://youtu.be/YADzTFCwUeY

    Karen

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  8. Karen! Thanks, didn't know that was around. Just updated the blog with the trailer. Thank you!!

    As for our friendship, my very first blog post ever was about the tricky nature of friendship (friend for a season, friend for a reason, friend for life and all that.) Deb and I came into each other's life at precisely the right moment. Circumstances and commitment keep us there.

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  9. ROTFLMAO over that trailer!!!

    *sigh* Yet another piece of funny Canadian stuff we can't get down here. :P

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  10. Trailer is HILARIOUS!!!! I laughed so much! Did manage to find a few copies on Amazon but we'll see how well that goes! :D

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  11. Karen thanks so much for finding the trailer. Wow I have not seen that in maybe 9 years. Thanks. Barb posted the blog as always so I only today saw the Steve Jobs grad address and it was so fantastic. Thanks Barb it was a treat. Maybe this will put a good vibe out in the universe for him right now.

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  12. Story of my life. If I didn't listen to the "well...maybe this won't work out" or the "seemingly small opportunities," I never would have gone to Berea, gone to SCOTLAND, got into nursing, and I'm not going to go on. You all get the point.

    I'm at work right now (shhh!!!) so I will watch the trailer later. :]

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  13. I have a little bit of eerie chills. I just JUST posted on my Conscious Creativity page about being connected and synchronicity, then went straight to your blog to catch up and you wrote about.....connectedness and synchronicity........I think that speaks for itself, don't you? LOVE your work here, Barbara & Deb

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  14. I don't know that I've had those amazing, big life changing moments. But, when I think back to all the little decisions that turned into something much bigger, it's pretty amazing how things can work out. What if I hadn't gone to that school dance at college, I wouldn't have met my husband. There are so many of those moments that probably come and go and we don't even realize it. Years ago, our family moved to a new state. About 2 months later another family moved into the neighborhood. She and I met, got together once a week to chat and let the kids play and we were the best of friends for three years. Our family had to move away, but the friendship continues and although we don't get to see or talk to each other much anymore, she is always my sister. A fun post ladies.

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  16. LOL!!!!! That trailer was hysterical; good thing I'm in the room by myself! MUST. FIND. THAT. MOVIE.

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  17. So glad you listened to that thought, Kelly. And, Molly, getting a husband out of a random moment is about as good as it gets!

    Lort already knows through en extended FB chat how we were in "synchronicity/connectivity" hyper drive about this today!

    Glad you guys are enjoying the video!

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  18. Will keep an eye out for this film, looks like a hoot.
    And oh, those "unimportant" little moments that bring big gifts, eh? You've said it, sistahs.

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  19. I'm glad Karen was able to find that trailer. Another little gem of a movie I haven't caught.

    (Now, I promised myself that I wouldn't pick this subject if at all possible, and I promise this community the same. However, sometimes the relevance can't be avoided.)

    My moment of "Jeez, that really changed my life" came while I was watching an episode of (drum roll, please) "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" I must confess that I then googled Ryan Stiles. What came up first was Colin's home page and his quote of, "Repeat after me: Ryan Stiles isn't that funny. Ryan Stiles isn't that funny."
    From there, I learned that Colin toured live (as opposed to dead, I suppose). I found a local show, met Colin and Brad, and the rest is history.

    Had Ryan's name come up first, there's no way on god's green earth I would have had the experiences I've had, and my life would be completely different.

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  20. Dawn, we don't mind hearing it :) Especially when it helps so much! xo

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