Monday, August 27, 2012

Yeller’s Remorse


Barbara: Today’s question isn’t about whether we are right or not to call people on their crap, but whether we stand by our calling-out after the fact or whether we regret it.

The other night, Deb and I had a most amazing experience—in fact, it was such an amazing experience that it’ll be our blog subject for next Wednesday’s post. But I had a small moment during that experience that has lingered with me and could make for an interesting discussion today.

Okay, it’s no secret that Deb took me to the Bruce Springsteen concert last Friday night (once again, I will save sharing all my awestruck delight with you for Wednesday). Before long, the woman who held the ticket right beside us invited her mid-twenties daughter and all her friends into the row with us (they had tickets from higher up and we were at the front). Let’s just say that this young girl and her friends weren’t always hanging on Bruce’s every note as we were. Don’t get me wrong—they definitely appreciated his talent and greatness, but during every quiet song they would turn to each other and start having a cocktail party of sorts. Sadly, this meant that during every quiet song I would have the sound of their party banter ringing in my ears way more loudly than the dulcet tones of one Mr. The Boss. For the most part, the concert was so loud (my ears are still ringing) that I never noticed what these kids were doing or saying, so I can imagine it never occurred to them that they were hindering any enjoyment. But, sadly, during the quiet songs, it was all I could hear.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am neither defending my irritation nor denigrating their actions—this isn’t a post about manners or decorum or any of those things. It’s about what happened next: the daughter, a lovely girl, turned to me during a quiet song to ask if I was a die-hard Bruce fan; I said that I was, and then added that it was really bothering me that I couldn’t hear his songs while she and her friends were talking. She blinked at me a few times, apparently not grasping my implication. I repeated that the conversation she was having with her friends was too loud and was interfering with my enjoyment. Well, her reaction was so heartbreaking (to me) that I instantly regretted saying anything. She was suddenly Bambi incarnate: widened eyes, innocent, hurt, stricken. She looked me deeply in the eyes for several long seconds and then apologized and then edged away like I might reach out and add to her injury by also physically slapping her.

Again: not trying to start a convo on what I was in my rights or not to do in this moment. My thing is: that few moments of hurt stayed with me, obviously until now. I wonder now if the annoying-talking had been important enough for me to challenge in the first place—because, for right or wrong, my challenge of it became bigger to me than any inconvenience the issue caused in the moment (on a side-note, it also didn’t prevent her friends from chatting during every single quiet song thereafter).

This experience—and several convos we’ve had here on the blog before—made me wonder about “yeller’s remorse”. Not the sense of being right or wrong, but the sense of value in discussing it in the first place. Over the course of my adult years, I’ve had to have several confrontational discussions. Here’s how they break down for ME:

Confrontations with my family: As I usually think these through very carefully, I don’t think I regret a single one. In fact, given that we are a family committed to in-depth discussion-cum-resolution, I have found deep and abiding value in every one. We’re pretty good at going from hurt and anger to understanding and peace.

Confrontations with friends or co-workers: These are tricky because I don’t necessarily love these people (especially co-workers, obviously) as I do my family and might not care to work all the way through to understanding (more often than not, we discover in this hard way that we’re not even compatible. Truth be told, in these cases, I often regret not saying MORE than I do.). So, I guess I can say with some confidence that I don’t regret voicing my opinion or standing my ground here.

Confrontations with strangers or businesses: Businesses, no problem. Please offer me the service and respect I am entitled to as your patron—no regrets to any challenge thereof. Strangers, hmmmmm. Like my little doe-eyed concert seatmate, I think I feel worse afterward than they do (or certainly just as bad). And while I may have made a valid point in the moment, maybe even a lasting beneficial one (doe-eyed girl may never again annoy future concert-goers by chatting throughout, even if her friends don’t get it), is it worth it if I’m analyzing the effects of my own confrontation during the moment and after?

Do you, like me, ever have yeller’s remorse?

Deb: Well, the joke is that while Barbara was yelling at her doe-eyed yapper, I was going to the security guy on the aisle and asking him to please check the tickets in our row as half the people in the row did not have front row tickets. One guy beside us started bragging that it had taken him a half hour to work his way down from the nose bleeds to the front row and was proud of it! Another couple weaseled their way into the front row. I asked them where their seats were and they said “two rows back” so I told the security guard and he ousted them. They literally went back to their seats for two minutes and came running back to our row to shove themselves in between people who had the right to be there. Then the guy had the balls to tell me that I should be ashamed of myself. The couple beside me had gone for a drink and now had two new people blocking their view. I was not ashamed.  Now I know what you are thinking, “Deb, this is not in the spirit of rock and roll.” Let me clarify. I couldn’t care less if they butt in.  If they have the balls and no one calls them on it, then I say fine. It is something I would never do and never have done, but that act alone would not have had my narcing them out to security. It was the fact that they fought and elbowed their way in there and then DID NOT SHUT UP! Seriously. Cocktail party conversations. Cross talk. All through the friggin’ songs. That is why I ratted. Finally after the couple weaseled back in, I said to them, “Look, these are not my seats you are stealing so it is not my battle. If you shut up, I will not rat you out! Just please listen to the band!!!!” They high-fived me and all was well. Then two minutes later the rightful owners came back and took their spots. Do you think they would leave? No, they pressed their pushy selves up against this couple for the rest of the concert, but I thought, Well, I’m not saying anything and I didn’t. As for Barbara having yeller’s remorse, I must tell you that as soon as Barb felt badly about yelling at the doe was just about the time that she started yap yap yapping again. AND the security guy threw them out too. AND they came back. Sorry. Not fair. Barb, I am afraid your words fell on deaf ears. Some people are there for themselves and do not consider anyone else. She looked hurt because clearly she has never been told by her parents, or anyone else in her life, that she is rude. That is why she was shocked. She had no idea this wasn’t appropriate behaviour.  The only thing I would feel badly about is that you wasted your breath.

46 comments:

  1. Barb, I think you did the right thing by speaking up. Truth hurts sometimes. I cannot tell you how many times I've spoken up or said something, then I go back and think "man, I shouldn't have said that." But in the long run, sometimes I think we all need a little tough love :]

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good point! That the truth hurts sometimes. I guess it's the line of when to cross it (or even bother crossing it) that I want to consider....

      Delete
  2. Barb, I wouldn't give it a second thought. I think it's really rude talking through someone's songs and disrupting the mood for everyone else. Good for both of you for standing up to your rights to your seats and your show......nothing wrong with that at all. I would have done the same.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Jo. It's probably counter-intuitive that at a loud concert conversation can disrupt the enjoyment, but the truth is, it can and does!

      Delete
  3. I am with you Barbara. You guys paid for the front tickets and it isn't like you were being downright mean to her. You just spoke up and let her know. Don't dwell on it she probably isn't dwelling on it anyway.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's a very good point, Kelly. Since she didn't stop the behavior, she probably isn't dwelling on it,

      Delete
    2. I couldn't look at her after my little "lecture", but I was under the impression she did stop talking while her friends continued. That said, Deb says she didn't stop -- and Deb had a better view of her. So I'd have to agree with you guys in the end.

      Delete
    3. And Barbara, you might have said the things that some of the people around you were thinking, but they didn't have the nerve to stand up to these kids. If you had done that while I was there, I would have thanked you (if I wasn't yelling at them myself!)

      Delete
  4. Awww Barb honey! I can understand you feeling that way. But in this case, I am EXACTLY LIKE DEB! Better said, I'm the 20yr old version of her. (I would've done EXACTLY what you did Deb!) When I read this, I was thinking about a similar experience. In my case though...I didnt feel bad about telling them to... well "be quiet". Because they started yapping again like nothing happened. And thats very frustrating!

    When we go to concerts or plays or movies. Me and My mom are always the ones to keeping telling security guards about people from the back rows try to wedge in the front row. And I am not ashamed to do that!

    And Well what you both did was perfectly fine. I can understand you feeling bad about what you said to bambi-eyes but she and her friends started talking again like nothing had happened, right?
    I mean that shows that they didnt even care.....THEN WHY SHOULD WE???

    Like Deb said, I too feel bad that you wasted your breath honey! But you know the great thing that came outta this? Now your "yeller-remorse-reflex" will think twice before coming up...if it sees a doe-eyed yapper ;) See... every cloud has a silver lining !!! :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shalaka, as always, I love your positive spin at the end!! Thanks, I'll put that one in my back pocket ;)

      Delete
  5. Interesting you should talk about this today. I have a story my friend told me last night. She was at a local restaurant sitting at the bar with her 10 year old son (this was fine as they offer food at the bar and it was easy to sit there). It was a major chain so many people sit at the bar. In walks a woman with a friend and a very small dog who promptly was right next to my friend as she ate. She went to the hostess and she explained that the dog was a service dog and wore a little jacket as such and they couldn't refuse service. After she had eaten her meal next to this drooling dog as she was leaving she asked to speak to the manager and she told the manager the situation. She told them that all dogs should be seated at tables instead of at the bar stools as they were bothering her and her son. The manager assured her it was a great idea. I wouldn't have been so nice. I would have asked the woman to please keep the dog away from my side of the bar and place the dog between her and her friend so only they were bothered by the drooling.
    Sometimes it is worth the shout out. I am a believer in the truth and sometimes I just refuse to let go when I know or feel someone has lied to me. Usually, the truth is never acknowledged and I give up. I then realize it wasn't worth the fight as the person has never been truthful on some many levels and the friendship was based on lies. This has only happened to me twice in my life so my track record is pretty damn good at judging people.I would have reported the seat cheaters if they were truly disturbing my night of enjoyment that I had paid a pretty penny for the experience.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, I have to say service dogs would never bother me (they don't literally drool in your food, after all! ;) ), so this wouldn't be my trigger at all. (on a side note, when I see one I am so moved that dogs can be trained to take care of people with such varied needs, making their lives manageable, sometimes when nothing else can. Heck, I'd let one SIT in my food!!) Chatters at a concert though, grrrr...

      Delete
    2. This little dog was literally almost on her plate as the women was holding it in her lap. Not sure what kind of service he was performing. My friend thinks he might have been a fake. Some of us as you know are not real animal lovers so this would bug some of us. Just saying.

      Delete
    3. Madge I have had many obnoxious lip smacking noisy eating rude humans sit beside me in restaurants. A dod that it working is a beautiful thing in my opinion and they cannot help how they eat, unlike humans. I hope and pray you never have to have a loved one or friend need one of these angels, I really do. But if you ever do, you might feel differently about animals.

      Delete
    4. I totally believe in service dogs and I even support agencies that train them. But here in Los Angeles anyone can apply and get a service tag for their animals and there are many fake service dogs being brought into places where they don't belong because the adult owner is taking advantage of the law. Just saying.

      Delete
    5. If people are bothered by either animals or people they should request a change in the seating. However, if you are there first and report that the dog or people are obnoxious many servers will say something to accommodate everyone and move someone. No one needs to be disturbed by anyone anywhere-concert, restaurant or anywhere for that matter. They do it with people who smoke and stop them immediately here in LA. Common decency trumps all else. Of course if the animal is serving as a service animal of course they are needed. But when people are cheating by getting a permit under false premises it does make a difference.

      Delete
  6. My dear pals, I actually read this post as a continuation of others that have been posted herein. See it's not about a concert, for while Bruce may have been the entertaining backdrop, this is really a study in the erosion of civility that's been discussed before. For however rude these people...and they all were really rude...were to you, they were fifty times as rude to the performer. Few things make me cringe when people can't indulge their attention span such that they can't shut up and watch an entertainer perform.
    Lucky me, I go out a fair bit and had a long career which included seeing performers from as many genres as you can imagine as part of the job. I have watched with real sadness, over the yeas, as people's behavior has devolved to the point where it's now deemed o.k. to push your way to a row you haven't paid for, stand and talk to the detriment of others enjoyment of said performer, or react with hurt and genuine confusion if someone calls you out on such a socially-inept showing. I'd like to be positive but can't find anything optimistic to say about how this decline will eventually see the simple good manners reduced to a 'concept'.
    The whole instant gratification thing that technology seems to have inspired now manifests everywhere. Sitting a movie but want to take a call...no worries...just do so! At a concert...want to get up front...push away after all there is no one whose needs surpass yours...In a hurry, go ahead and run that red...who has time for safety first.
    Barb, you felt badly because you are well-bred and mindful of the needs of others. Sadly, and it pains me to give you this advice, you might need to get over that! You were within your rights and if the doe-eyed Bambi was put out, be aware you did a favor...For the world actually doesn't revolve around her and her chattering friends...and I'm sure it'll tell her just that in terms far less kinder than yours at some point.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Annette, you always manage to articulate things so beautifully. You also bring up a truly important point: are we losing our manners? And do I risk losing my own manners in my confused, conflicted and cringing efforts at dealing with the frustrating repercussions???!

      Delete
  7. Barb, my immediate first thought is that you didn't do anything but shock her. The nerve you had! Saying something to HER! She isn't used to having anyone speaking to her that way. The other possibility is that she then sat next to someone who told her don't worry about it, that woman's just being grouchy.

    Deb, I've had people practically sit on me while I was rude enough to want to sit in my own seat. I've taken to shoving them (okay, subtley nudging them) out of my way after getting no response to a polite 'excuse me.' Some people just don't take hints, don't get it, or just don't care. They're not worried about me. I sure as heck ain't gonna lose sleep over "offending" them.

    For the most part, with strangers, the only regret I've had is wasting my breath on people who don't care. The person's behaviour didn't change.

    However, when I do, I feel a LOT better afterward, having said something instead of letting it stew and simmer. Whether it was effective or not, I had spoken up and that was better than sitting there and taking it.

    I've certainly yelled at people I love (says the twice-divorced woman), and I wonder if I couldn't have handled it another way. The only true remorse I have is when I yell at my daughter. I feel miserable, and I hate that I've lost so much control of the situation that that's the only reaction I can come up with.

    I'll worry about the relationships that mean the most to me. I can do "polite," but, call me cold, when someone's unconcerned about how I feel, I won't be losing sleep about how they feel.


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Dawn. I guess I can work harder at accepting my own voice when it comes to anger and upset, even if it's launched at a stranger. And, no, I didn't "yell" at her at all. I just had this sinking feeling after that I'd gone too far. Now I see that I really didn't!! No more sleep lost, promise :)

      Delete
  8. Deb, I would have done the EXACT same thing. It's not fair to completely bludger your way through a crowd of people who are actually supposed to be there! And I may come across as shy or whatever, but if you're in my space I'm going to kindly ask you to not be in it. I don't care if I "offend" you because chances are our paths will never cross again.

    Maybe people are too easily "offended"...I feel like that sometimes people throw the word around and aren't really sure what it means. I too have yelled at people I care about...yes, sometimes I get a short fuse...(you should hear some of the arguments Kelly and I used to get into), and yes, I do feel bad and am usually the one to say sorry first, even if it wasn't my fault. But for situations like yours, Deb and Barb, I would think that common courtesy would trump all. Guess not though. All the more reason for us to do better, I reckon. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Holly. It's always nice to hear that you younger people feel the same way (ie that I'm not in some time warp!).

      Delete
  9. Yes, I have had "yeller's remorse." I think it's mainly because I didn't mean to hurt the person but rather to inform her of the issue. Plus, I experience a little shock from the power that I didn't realize I had. I think confrontation has its place, especially in those really important relationships. I know for me, the delivery of my message is usually what needs the most attention, not so much the content (it's not always what you say, but how you say it).

    I hope you ladies enjoyed the concert despite the annoyances! I haven't been to many concerts, but I did see U2 once. A few songs in, the man in front of us decided to choke the life out of his girlfriend. The guy I was with and another seatmate tackled and restrained him while I got security. It pretty much ruined the concert for us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. First off, Eileen, thanks so much for articulating your response so well -- you said it for me!!

      As for the U2 concert -- oh man, that would definitely ruin a night, wow.

      And, yes, Deb and I had an amazing time, despite these stories!

      Delete
  10. I wouldn't say that I've ever regretted speaking up but I definetly over analyze what I say and do. I do that with everything though, over-analyze every word out of my mouth regardless of subject. In this instance I'd have felt more than justified in speaking up or reporting them to security. Unless it's rush seating you have no right to infringe upon someone else's space. Not only is it rude but concerts have seating arrangments for a reason not least of which is safety. Hope you both still enjoyed the concert as much as you kind of hinted at here. There is something special about live music isn't there?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're right, Erin, there is definitely a safety concern too (one of the reasons we were glad to have seats and not "mosh pit" access). And, oh yeah, live music -- when performed well -- is absolutely in its own league!!

      Delete
  11. I have really low tolerance for talking while in the movies. I hate it when people use their phone in the movies at all. My friend has done this, but I haven't told her off (yet) but I probably will if she continues to do it. I haven't gone to many concerts (just two) so I don't know exactly how I would behave, but so far in those two we stayed in our seats. Even though in the one concert there were empty seats and we could have moved closer. But we didn't, no one did. I think I would say something really nasty if not directly at them, then loudly enough for them to hear. Like when someone cuts the line without asking if it is okey (because they are in a hurry for catching another flight, etc) someone might say something really snarky loudly pointed at no-one (but really to the person doing the cutting).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Phones in movies -- even for silent texting -- drives me crazy. It's that light!!!! As for the people coming closer, like Deb, it didn't even bother me ... as long as they weren't infringing on my space and enjoyment of the show (clearly that was too tall an order in this case!)

      Delete
  12. Well, I'm definitely a 'suffer in silence' type because I'm generally too shy to say anything. Unless I know someone well enough to speak up when they're in the wrong, I just quietly seethe. But my husband will happily call someone out on their crap. And I think you were right to say something, Barb. Even if it shocked and hurt her a little, I think it's important to know when your actions are negatively affecting others, especially when they had no right to be there in the first place. There's entirely too much rudeness and disrespect everywhere. It's hard to find someone to even hold a door open for you nowadays.

    Anyway, I'm glad you had a great time regardless! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Roz! Yeah, I do agree. In the end, I need to remember to stand by my honest reaction and --provided I am still aware of others and polite myself-- give them the bad news...

      Delete
  13. This situation usually comes up, for me, in movie theaters: the couple behind us yapping it up or the person in front constantly checking messages. Nine times out of ten, I don't speak up and, consequently, don't enjoy the movie as much as I might have. The other night, a woman next to me was constantly checking her email, the white light like a laser in the corner of my eye. I very politely whispered my request that she stop. She complied... for about two minutes. I wanted to grab her phone and stomp on it, but her boyfriend/husband was several inches and many biceps bigger than me. I completely understand Barbara's feelings... but agree with Deb that however justified, trying to remind people of the simple courtesies is usually just a waste a breath. What do do?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unbelievable, Jim!! Well, not really as I and many others here have also experienced the same thing. In the case of the movie-theatre-phone-users, 1 user can ruin it for a whole theatre (light and sound). Grrr. What to do, indeed...

      Delete
  14. *warning* this post will contain a small amount of strong language .

    barbara well done at calling those idiots out at the Bruce Springsteen gig . i don't get people who go to gigs and talk all the way through them or shove in further , they should go to a pub not spend money on a concert they have no desire to see . that consistent talking and shoving into the front row is so annoying . sadly it is something i have seen myself more then once and yelled at people for doing . i travel to England a lot for gigs and dammed if i let a talker effect a gig i have spent a lot of money on going to see .

    one of my favourite singers is a Scottish guy called fish . he did an acoustic tour in 2011 . it was a common complaint that people would talk through his performance . he developed a great system . at the start of the gig he would tell the audience that talkers would get a warning from the stage . 2 warnings and you were sent to the back of the hall and believe me fish is a guy that was well capable of enforcing that rule ! it worked too . when i saw him here in Dublin i was in the front row . 2 men spoke through most of his first song . during an instrumental break he lent right into their faces and told them to (and i quote) shut the fuck up . they did . it was scary but at the same time it meant i and the people around me could enjoy the gig without their stupid talking . bear in mind fish was playing small venues on this tour so talking could disturb a lot of the crowd and as an acoustic gig there was not enough volume in the music to drown out the talkers . I was glad he did it . as garedican said everything has to stop for that sort of person .

    i don't think you will find anyone who has not lost their rag from time to time . we all do it . sometimes it is a good idea like with you at the concert barbara , other times not so much . my mom and i yell at each other a bit . mom has an amazing temper . one minute she can be calling me all kinds of names , one hour later she is back to normal . takes me a bit longer to calm down . whether i feel remorse or not depends on who i have lost my rag with and whether they deserve it or not .

    as to doing it with a retail worker well like everyone i expect good service . i have also been on the other side , i worked in my Dads shop dealing with the public . i find the nicer you are the better service you get . if you have to point out a mistake it is counter productive to loose your temper .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good points all, Linda. I didn't actually realize that Deb had asked security for help -- and now believe that it is probably the best course of action (even if, in this case, it didn't last long -- too many people!!): I think Security is usually way scarier and more effective than I am (see: fish :) )

      Delete
    2. I love what Fish did! That is the kind of performer I admire!

      Delete
  15. Ah...I know what you mean.
    I'm not very brave...and I think a lot about things.
    And once I have the guts to actually say something, or confront someone, I almost instantly regret it, because I'm afraid I might have hurt the other person's feelings...
    I don't know...I want people to be happy...I don't want to bother them. I'm not a mean person...and I don't want people to think that I don't like them.

    Most of the times I apologize, although I haven't done anything wrong.
    Wish I had more self-confidence...but I guess, all I want is love, peace, and harmony, even if it means I am the one, who is unhappy...

    To the concert part:
    I really hate that, when you want to enjoy something you really, really love, and some people just don't give a damn. Of course, you should have fun and party at a concert, but I guess every concert needs the quiet moments (to sob and calm down).
    And oi...those people are rude (I also mean the ones with the wrong tickets)...I sooo hate that, because I am a polite person.

    When I was at a Take That concert, I stood front row (waited there since 10am), and some girl shoved me to fit in the space right next to me. I was so angry, and shouted at her (yes, in English...go me!)...and then..after some minutes...she was talking to me, and was so nice and friendly, I felt bad for yelling at her...*sighs*

    And then there was this moment at another concert. The band asked the crowd to be silent during the next song (it is a song about a child, who experiences war)...and no one spoke, or sang along. No one. This was amazing!

    P.S. I loooooove concerts. :D :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I looooove concerts too, Becki! Okay, I guess we both need to practice standing up for our rights even if people sometimes shudder for a moment in the process. I love that you were able to have a good exchange with your own seat-butter-inner (does this even make sense???) at the concert and ended on a good note. See? Sometimes it does work.

      Delete
    2. Oh yes...it's so difficult! But sometimes I become so angry (I turn into Hulk)...I can be brave enough.
      It wasn't really a "seat-butter-inner" since there were no seats. *lol* But it was nice, and we both weren't alone.

      Delete
  16. You absolutely had the right to speak up and the little doe-eyed miss needed to grow up and learn something ( which she clearly didn't).
    I had the same experience when I recently took my daughter to Cirque de Soleil for her birthday and while we were watching this beautiful magical performance, we had basically, the Kardashians sitting next to us, "Like Oh my god, I can't believe he didn't call you back, I'm so sure..blah blah blah". Well my daughter told them off. Good. She had no remorse. And they didn't stop.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, Hollye, I would've been so pissed. I love me some Cirque, and you're right, you really do need to go into bliss of that experience and siiiigh -- in lovely, respectful quiet. PS as a musician/singer, you must sometimes suffer through the receiving end of this kind of rudeness, no???

      Delete
  17. Oh my beautiful, kind Barb. I would have turned so fast on that doe and told her that I didn't pay money to listen to her. I paid to listen to BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN and the E Street Band! Several years ago I would have probably added some expletives for full menacing effect but now that I'm older and kinder I would have just singed her skin a little with my gaze. C'mon it's Bruce bloody Springsteen. The Boss. An artist who knocks himself out for 4 hours (always btw - he never lets his peeps down). Have some respect for the artist if not for your fellow concert goers.

    I remember the good old days of concert going when there was unspoken rules that the masses silently agreed to out of respect - if enough people stood up then that meant everyone stood up. If enough people sat down then that meant everyone sat down.

    Gotta say that when Bruce does the quiet stuff magic happens. When he sang "Can't Help Falling In Love With You" 27 years ago I wept like a school girl. Just him and his guitar and his sweat. Beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tannis, you so get that magic then: he absolutely had me covered in shivers on numerous occasions. He just gets to the soul of a moment -- in a way that is best experienced live, I think (well, for me, anyway).

      Delete
  18. Deb, I think you did the right thing by telling on those people. If they were being annoying like that then i would probably tell on them as well. But i'm the kind of guy who likes rules and thinks it's fine if you break a few, minor, rules now and again, but if you break the rules and are badly interfering with the people who have obeyed the rules, you have crossed the line.

    Also, Barb, I've definitely had moments like you've recently had and it's usually unexpected when it happens to me. Like when you said what you've said, i'm sure you didn't expect her to be emotional. But if she/they continued like Deb said they did, then i wouldn't feel bad anymore.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Garrett. You speak the truth, as far as I'm concerned! It's been very therapeutic expressing this experience with you guys today.

      Delete
  19. I think you all handled it well. You didn't get into a physical fight (which I have seen at concerts). If I have paid to get to go to an event, whether it be a concert, play, or movie, I expect everyone else to follow simple rules. Why go to a concert if you aren't going to just enjoy the music, but rather act as though you are at a party? That sounds like what those kids were up to. If they want to party, then go to a party.
    I don't hold my cool very well in those situations; I have no problem pushing and shouting if I think I need to. I don't let others ruin my experience.
    As for the yellers' remorse, well...I usually don't regret it. I say what I mean, I don't try to hurt the other person/people in the conversation. I say the truth...loudly. I avoid yelling but I am one of those people that others tend to not listen to if I just talk. So yelling becomes a requirement to be heard in some cases.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, I'm not very loud or very pushy. It's not really "me", but there is something to be said for speaking your mind and standing by it. Thanks, Steph!

      Delete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.