Showing posts with label Writers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Writers. Show all posts

Friday, July 20, 2012

When Words Are The Sticks And Stones

Barbara: Remember on Tuesday when we asked what we would say to our 12-year-old selves if we could (and, wow, thank you for one of my favourite comments sections ever!)? Well, it got me thinking about something that someone actually did say to me in those vulnerable growing-up years, something which changed my life. And not for the better.

The reason I want to share this with you now is that it was certainly a turning point moment in my life, but also, more importantly, because I am finally and utterly over it.

Okay, so the words

I got hooked on writing when I was pretty young. I mean, I loved to perform and direct and had huge plans for local theatre shows or fairs that my friends would help me organize for weeks and which then kinda fizzled out (I guess follow-through was not my strongest suit back then). But, more than that, my precious secret was that I was actually a writer. Scribbling first draft work into a notepad and then meticulously transcribing the story through my little portable typewriter. I amused myself by calling the typed version of my work my “copyright” (copy/write… get it??? Unfortunately, when my parents patronized me with delighted laughter about this malapropism—like I didn’t know what I was saying!—man, was I pissed. And embarrassed.) My coup was when I wrote a 60page novel at 13. No matter that it was a blatant rip-off of A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, it was my own beautiful creation.
Barbara at 10

Two years later, I had high hopes for my English class. We were finally attempting creative writing and I was sure I was a shoe-in to ace it. I would finally bring my little secret to the light. I would be recognized. I would be renowned.

But the teacher had other ideas in mind. She took it upon herself to stand in front of the class one day and list all the people she believed to have genuine talent. As she pronounced the names, I nodded in recognition—yes, she was a great storyteller; yes, he had such a way with words—and waited with bated breath for my own name to be called. But she continued with her list, her eyes scanning the classroom, several times holding on me and then passing on, announcing on and on, name after name, until the names began to lose value—what? him??? He doesn’t know a simile from a metaphor!—until she was finished and ready to direct our attention to other English matters.

But wait! It doesn’t end there. As hurt and humiliated as I was (why are we humiliated by omissions that no one else would even notice?), I swallowed past it and carried on. Until a few days later, this same teacher called me into her office and told me—unbidden, mind—in a calm, clear voice that she understood that when she’d made her “talented writers” pronouncement, she’d noticed that I might have hoped that my own name would be called, but that she was sorry she just couldn’t do it. My memory after that is a blur: I think I nodded and kind of wandered out into the hall, trying desperately to hold it together.

I’m pretty sure, in the end, I kicked some creative writing butt in that class, earning high marks on all my pieces. But I let those strangely pointed words become the mantra to which I pursued (or didn’t) all my writing in all the years after that. I let those words sit on my shoulder and become my cross for so many years that it finally had no other choice but to decay and disintegrate. It wasn’t until the cross was gone that I realized that it was gone.

(I will also allow that years and years of writing practice—and now blogging—has helped to erase the onus.)

And I know we will all be outraged at this teacher’s cruelty (or at least that is the most common response when I share this story—which isn’t often), and we will wag our fingers at her casual damage, and we will pat my back (appreciated but truly not necessary) and comfort me. But I wanted to share this with you because I think, in many ways and in ongoing ways, we are always talking to our 12-year-old selves. Or at least we are trying to. And we ARE changing our personal histories by listening to our older, more mature selves and … well, getting over it.

Revenge is a dish best … left in the kitchen.

Deb: Barb, this is so poignant. I agree that we are always talking to our 12-year-old selves and I love this story. I certainly don’t love it for the pain it caused you, but rather for the lesson it taught you. You did it. You kept doing it!!! Do you know how many people would have never put pen to paper again? In this instance, you do not need to go back and talk to your 12-year-old self. Your 12-year-old self got it, I think. It just took some years of maturing to set it in stone. Well done. You should lay your head on the pillow and say Mrs. (insert teachers name), today I am a writer.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Annette!

Deb: When I was living in L.A. twenty years ago, I wrote some spec scripts. For those of you who might not know, a spec script is a script you write for an existing, current show to try and secure a writing job or agent. One of my scripts was for Seinfeld. My Seinfeld episode had Jerry falling in love, a true love, which he had never done on the show. She was a gal in the tourism industry and she was funny. Very funny. A natural wit. Jerry was smitten by her beauty, wit, and charm, and especially by the fact that she was not in the entertainment field and had no interest in it at all. In the end, despite his love for her, his male comic’s ego could no longer stand the fact that everyone, including him, thought that his girlfriend Annette was funnier than him. He ended it, broken-hearted, but secure in the knowledge that he would return to his rightful place in the group as “the funniest”.

This character was based on my dear friend Annette with whom Barb and I had a three-way last year. Okay, just read that sentence and thought, “Wow, if anyone is reading our blog for the first time, they are GOING TO BE BACK BABY!”

Digression aside, I must tell you that Annette is quite simply the wittiest woman I know, and trust me, I know plenty of witty gals. She is a brilliant writer and the stuff she posts on Facebook is simply hilarious. Sometimes I only have time to “like” and sometimes I leave a comment.  This fall and Christmas season I was not on FB as regularly, so the other day I sat with a cup of tea and opened her FB page and read for hours. What a delightful time it was.

Barbara: As Annette’s brilliance is what we want to feature today, I’ll just pop my head in here and add, Yeah, the woman’s a genius. So funny you wish she had, like, a TV show or a regular column in the paper or a webisode series or … I don’t know … maybe her own BLOG!!! And she is so sweet, she’ll probably be all shades of red just reading this. Annette, come out, come out, wherever you are!

Deb: The following is a very small example from FB of the one, the only, The Wit: Annette.

*Ran my first 5K this morning... Just kidding.... I'm on my second muffin...

*Why does using a straw make it so much harder to accept there's no more soda?

*I'm sorry, previews, but raving "Best Movie of the Year" means nothing to me on January 20th.

*Have finally come up with suitable epitaph for me for when the sad day comes... "She died doing what she loved... judging strangers on the internet."

*Ever notice how you never meet anyone who's quietly on a juice diet? And while we are sorta on the subject, horses are vegans too but you don't hear them neighing on and on about it...

*Jury duty... The sobering reminder that one day your life could be in the hands of a guy wearing Velcro shoes.

*Given what a perennial distraction it proves, I'd delete my Facebook account, but there's some shaky marriages I'm keeping an eye on.

*So you're feeling a tad scared and anxious because it's Friday the 13th? Well here’s my sympathetic take on that… If there's only one day a year when you wake up irrationally afraid, you're doing okay, my friend!

*I'm currently standing in the 10 items or less line, holding 14 items, freaking the h*ll out.

*If I learned I only had a week to live and could go anywhere in the world, I think I'd go to the hospital... because that sounds pretty serious!

*The only thing that would make my morning more productive is actually doing something! It's not looking hopeful mind you but it's good to have a plan...

*Looks like I’m going to have to abandon my New Year's Resolution to only say nice things about people... Just isn't working as in my case it was the equivalent of a vow of silence.

*Snowflakes as far as the eye can see... all identical!

*The Slippery Slope of New Years Resolutions: January 1st: Resolve to go to the gym every day. January 2nd: Feel guilty for not going. January 3rd: Pie for breakfast!

*My new years resolution for 2012? I will be less laz

*I've never had personalized license plates... but don't worry, I still know how to waste most of my discretionary income! IAMGR8 has nothing on me!

*Some think the economy is slowly recovering. Others think it's on the verge of collapse. I think about shoes mostly...

*I just want people to accept me for who I pretend to be!

*Just caught the news that Anthony Weiner is now a dad. Wife, Huma Abedin, gave birth to a baby boy, Jordan Zane Weiner. Naturally, The New York Post welcomed Jordan Zane into the world in it's inimitable way with a front page headline reading, "A Little Weiner", "Baby boy for Huma and louse." Hope mom's not a scrapbooker!

*It's intriguing to see how much worse celebrities looked "before they were famous" until that painful moment that you realize that's how you look now!

*Almost a full year away and all the stores have their Christmas stuff up already. Just staggering...

*What an incredible Christmas Eve...We had so much fun pretending that the scratching sound from our attic was reindeer and stuff...

*"I am Santa Claus." "No you're not." "Yes I am." "OK." - Miracle on 34th Street in tweet form. And that's all she wrote folks... It's into the car we go... Happy Holidays!

*The best 5 seconds of my life are when I wake up and have no idea I'm a human or have responsibilities.

*It's cute when they put expiration dates on snacks like I won't eat them as soon as I get to my car.

*Out of all of Santa's reindeer, the one that sounds most like a street name for crystal meth is all of them.

*And I? Well I took the road less traveled by, and now my GPS won't stop recalculating...

*The best thing about telepathy is... I know, right?

*I'd put money on it that now that it's been a few years, she's "The Girl Who Really Regrets Getting That Dragon Tattoo."

*How annoying is it when you're about to take a great photo and somebody calls your camera.

*During this season of giving... remember every day is a gift... though many are filled with non-returnable things you didn't ask for and don't want!
*A little primer that may serve you at this party-centric time of the year... Stages of inebriation: Sociable, fun, hilarious, inappropriate, bitter, sad, need new pants, need new friends!

*If the old adage about "opposites attract" is true, I probably should have looked for someone who gets up early and does stuff...

*Thought process of the guy who invented eggnog: "Man, I could really go for a tall, cold, glass of eggs right now."

*"How about a month of non-stop obligations, budget-busting overspending, less-than-desirable travel conditions, very short, dark days and bitter weather?" - The pitch for the month of December.

*Great job keeping crap out of my eye... eyelash that's currently in said eye.

*Would it not make more sense to dump Gatorade on the losing head coach?

*...It’s Chinese New Year and I’m still writing Rabbit on all my checks... Don’t you hate that?