So I will do all three in order of win.
Model Behaviour (modified from Model Performance)
When I was asked to be a model in a runway show, my first thought was, “I shall do my level best not to be 5ft tall.” But, after all, this was for charity. It was for the women’s Heart and Stroke Foundation, so it was a no-brainer, despite my challenges in the height-al arena. Plus, this was the first year they were having men in the show and my husband was asked to walk the runway too.
With fleeting thoughts of “something to tell the grandkids”, we accepted.
We were each assigned to a designer and they were to create something wonderful for us. It could be short, long, sleek or frilly, but it had to be red. The event is called “The Heart Truth (Canada)” and it was to be held in the fabulous Carlu in Toronto.
When asked by the people running the event if I had any specific likes or dislikes, I said that the designer could do anything as long as my arms didn’t show. That’s it. Just please do not show the upper arms. Please. I show them in the summer in the real world, but not on a stage or on film or, dear God, on the friggin’ runway. My arms are slim, but they have become the sudden victims of the parasite cellulite.
So I am sure that it comes as no shock to you that I arrive for my first fitting to find myself sleeveless. With the midday sun shining through the designer’s window, my arms looked like a lovely low-fat snack to be mixed with the fruit of your choice.
After the fitting, I contacted the producer and begged her for a touch of sleeve. I hated compromising the designer’s vision especially since she was a doll but, after all, it’s the only request I made. I had one more fitting after that and the sleeves were there ... in theory, but all I could see in reality were two sticky-outie things that made me look like Jane Jetson.
In the end, Michelle of Karamea came through and I had sleeves! Only four inches of sleeve but it was the difference for me between confidence and humiliation. As a thank you to Michelle, I worked it for her, babies, I worked it. I worked it left, I worked it right, I worked it as much as a 56-year-old, big-busted, short-waisted, “sleeve slut” could work it.
And if I came to the event without confidence, this group of lovely models would soon make me forget every insecurity I had. Each and every one of them stood backstage cheering and applauding loudly for all the models. It was glorious fun, and the real surprise is that even the long-legged gorgeous ones were nervous sick.
I stood backstage waiting to go on, buoyed by my sleeves and a glass of champagne. After it was over, all I could feel was relief. God knows I couldn’t feel my hands, lips or feet. Every inch of blood had run screaming to my heart. But after a second glass of champers, it all came back!
I’m glad I did it. It was nice being able to knock “runway model” off the to-do list. But mark my words, there are no sleeves in the world that could entice me to do it again!
Barbara: Deb, you ROCKED! I was so lucky to get an invite to this celebration, along with my daughters and dear friend, Charlotte. We all had a wonderful time clapping for the stunning and brave models on that stage. Deb and Colin managed to look both gorgeous and fun at the same time. No one betrayed their nerves. And everyone—both models and audience––seemed to just vibrate with positive energy.
I have to say that I’m surprised you wouldn’t ever do it again, Deb. You looked like such a natural. That said, in your shoes I’d probably be apoplectic, so I do relate.
If you could walk a runway (for charity, in front of an audience of enthusiastic supporters), would you do it? Is it a secret dream, or your worst nightmare?
Watch live streaming video from thehearttruth at livestream.com
PS: Deb appears at the 14:47 mark and Colin appears right after her. He is a must-see too as he channels James Bond (in a charmingly funny way). Huge thank you to Rigel for teaching us how to embed the video!
I have seen the video before and Deb both you and your husband look amazing. And I love your dress you were wearing.You walked down the runway like you owned it which was amazing. See iF I were to wear something like you did,I probably would have walked down the runway and fell off into the side right into the people. That is a great charity that you all walked for. I think the funniest thing though was when Your husband started to walk,he was wounderful,but so funny, I don't think I stopped laughing the whole time he was walking. Anyways,Your all both did an excellent job,and it's great that you all did it for charity,which makes it even better.
ReplyDeleteSo Deb, there I was last week in a dressing room trying on a dreamy spring suit that consisted of a sleeveless shift and a very Audrey Hepburn jacket. Was wearing the timeless frock and turned to reach for the jacket when I caught sight of the back of my upper arms from behind in the three way mirror...Gasp of horror escaped my lips as instant-voice over from you filled the tiny space, "I'm can no longer do the sleeveless...I just can't do it." Bit lower lip while I paid for the ensemble mindful of yet another dubious milestone marking the rapidly passing years. I'm about to watch the video and know you will look phenomenal...but I can't help but pine for those earlier versions of our clothes-mad selves. The ones wherein the musical directive "Hands up baby hands up" would merely have been a call to action rather than a reason to cringe! To your long-sleeved day I leave you...
ReplyDeleteDeb and Barbara, please check y'all's emails. I just sent y'all the instructions for embedding the fashion show into the blog post. *mwah*
ReplyDeleteLove and hugs,
R
Rigel our hero! Smart girl. Helpful girl. Sweet girl. Thanks so much for the tips. Now the fashion show is right there, right in front of our eyes. Who knew? Love Deb and Barb
ReplyDeleteAnnette my darling, welcome to the "bubble" club! Thanks Lyndsie for watching again. Colin was killing us backstage. We were all howling and cheering.
ReplyDeleteFantastic!. You guys are so great and always giving of your time to important causes. Loved it. You owned the dress, the catwalk and our hearts. Colin was great fun. You both looked hot.
ReplyDeleteThe fashion show! *happy squeal!* OK, sweeties, for your own sakes just scroll down now. Go on, scroll down. Because, I am about to full on indulge!
ReplyDeleteAaa-aaa-aaa-ahem. *uppity throat clearing* Bitchy Pop Culture Critic Mode: Engage!
1. The Opening Remarks:
First of all, even though she wasn’t in the fashion show, I’d like to point out that the woman giving the speech wore a dress that is just perfect on her. She rocked that dress and with a matching angular hairstyle. Good on her!
OK, anyone out there in public speaking land who is ever called upon to give opening remarks, introduce a main speaker, etc., pay attention to this woman’s timing. She got it right. I don’t know if she wrote this speech or had a speech writer, but it was the exact right length. She didn’t drone on and on while everyone was impatiently waiting for the show. But, her speech was meaty, had informational worth. She got in, got the important data and appeal across, and got out. Impeccable timing. Perfect length. Grade: A+
Also, while the speech was on serious subject matter, the event was a lighthearted affair. She did a great job of conveying the seriousness of the cause but with an appropriate dose humor and fun spirit. Nice balance. Grade: A+
And, now, a negative: Those were really lousy quote choices. I mean puuuuhleeeez. The most commonly cited line of the most famous Robert Frost poem? *bangs head on desk* Maybe in a speech being given by a 10th grader in English class! If you feel that you just have to include quotes (which I’m about to commit a serious affront to English teachers everywhere by saying that I’ve always found that strange obligation annoying and unnecessary. If a quote fits and furthers the information in the speech and makes sense, well, yeah, sure, put it in. But, quit trying to force in quotes out of some weird sense of propriety because it comes off sounding artificial, forced, and pompous), choose something a little more elegant, a little more esoteric, and a little less (ok, a lot less) banal. She made herself look less intelligent and articulate by using a cop out of a quote. Secondly, Helen Reddy? Really? At a women’s health charity event? Could you have been more clichéd and predictable? *groans* Her quote choices diminished the authority of her speech and her position. Grade: F
Delivery: Well, I don’t want to be harsh and bitchy here because that’s not deserved. She did a more than adequate job. But, I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I cringed for her a few times. How to put this without being unnecessarily mean? I expected more. She’s the CEO of a charity at a high profile event. And, her speech delivery lacked polish. Maybe she didn’t rehearse/read through her notes aloud enough times before being at the podium. Maybe she was too nervous. Maybe she was distracted by the details of what was going on backstage. I don’t know. But, she stumbled over words a few times, had some awkward phraseology, seemed to lose her place a couple of times, was stilted in long stretches, and was just not as smooth as she could’ve been. Not just once or twice, but often enough that I frowned and clinched my teeth feeling bad for her like when I feel sad for woman in ice skating competitions when they keep two footing landings and making too few rotations in their jumps. She didn’t do badly (to continue the skating competition analogy, she never fell on her butt on the ice). It’s just that I’ve seen what she was doing done so much better so many times by people in clout heavy roles like hers. I guess what I’m saying is that I expected excellence, and her public speaking on this night was not of truly excellent quality. It was fine, but a CEO should pull it off with more refinement. I’m not typing this to tear her down. Honestly, I just encouragingly hope for her that she truly blows it away next year. Simply rehearsing enough to be able to flow through her notes with ease would make a big difference. Grade: B-
3. The video interlude at the beginning with the 3 men was well edited, well scripted, and nicely done. It could’ve been an unnecessary extra. It could’ve been a clunky piece that was awkwardly inserted into the flow of the evening. It wasn’t. It added something to the evening, and it was a nice transition from the speech to the catwalk. Whoever pulled that video bit off gets a thumbs up from me.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could’ve read the words that went up on the screens at the beginning of the catwalk show. They are illegible in the video. I’m curious what the information was.
Now, the fun stuff!
My first big question for Deb is: Who chose the songs y’all walked to? Because, the music really made this show! The musical selections paired with the models and outfits took everything up several notches and added so much to the fun spirit of the show. The music was integral to how great this fashion show was! It added to the bounciness and smiliness.
Secondly, Barbara, I’m still waiting for my party favor bag. Remember, I prefer the guy-in-a-tux on the exit steps side. ;) Just make sure he’s single, straight, of legal age, and disease free, please. *giggle*
Also, Deb, did y’all rehearse on the catwalk, or were y’all’s struts first time spontaneous?
The Catwalk! *sings “I shake my little toosh on the catwalk” from I’m Too Sexy by Right Said Fred*
Deborah Cox in Kaelen:
First of all, fist bump to Deborah Cox for being the brave first one to walk. Good on her. I like the skirt of the dress, but I don’t like the top. It’s too floppy and unshapen. The top doesn’t do good things for this woman’s good body. The 2 high slits on the skirt are daringly sexy without being trampish. I’m not a fan of trains because of the hazard of tripping on them or someone stepping on them (and I could tell she was taking extra care with hers and had to do some fancy footwork at one point to avoid disaster – nicely done on her part), but at least this one was light weight and moveable. But, yeah, the poorly executed halter top of this dress ruins it. They were right to go with that dramatic jewelry with that dress. Ugly shoes.
Megan Follows in David Dixon
OK, first of all, a rift just tore open in the space-time continuum. What y’all Canadian folks have gotta understand is that many Americans who know who Megan Follows is associate her with Anne of Green Gables because it ran on our PBS for years and years. And, at no time and place in our universe should the concepts of “Anne of Green Gables” and “Barry White” ever coexist in the same context. It just…. it gives reality a charlie horse in its left calf. I’m just sayin’. I had a Huh? What? Owwwwiiieeee brain moment.
That said, I applaud her style for standing there leaning all sexy like she was when the lights came up at the beginning of her walk. Sassy, bawdy good on her!
The dress was beautiful. Simple. Elegant. Classic. Not particularly innovative at all, but well executed. Some could argue it was boring. I would argue that in this case it would’ve been timeless and classic. Megan Follows presented it well. (Poor thing, she seemed kinda stiff. I hope she wasn’t too nervous. I had such an urge to hug her and saying, “Oh honey, you’re doing a good job.”) I thought it was a nice, different touch that there was color to the jewels in her necklace. I didn’t like her hair styling. Too stiff, heavy, and weighted down. She would’ve looked prettier in something softer that didn’t look like a helmet shaped around her skull.
Chan Hon Goh in Ross Mayer
ReplyDeleteGood God. Chan Hon Goh. The ballerina. I don’t think she’s human. Surely, this is not a normal, flesh and blood, human being. A mere mortal who poots, has to wear deodorant, and misspells words. No. I think she must be a fairy. A pixie. Some sort of ethereal, magical being made manifest on Earth by the collective imaginations of fantasy novel readers world wide. This woman is….. wow. I mean, I’m a heterosexual female, but when she came out onto the catwalk, even I was like, “Oh, daaaaaaaaayum!” She’s mystical. She is from another realm of more beautiful higher beings. She is spellbinding.
Chan Hon Goh is really pretty.
The dress: The first time I watched the fashion show, I decided this dress and Deb’s dress tied for first place with me. But, upon review, I’m moving this dress to 2nd place. I’ll explain later when we get to Deb’s. But, I do like this dress. A lot. And, that’s strange because if someone had just described this dress to me, I would’ve crinkled my nose. “Well, it’s a strapless dress with a fitted boostier top, very ballerina style because the skirt has a red tulle petticoat to poof it out. The background of the dress is white but there are red splotches flower petal style and the skirt has these big, red flowery things made out of, oh you’ve got to be kidding me, are those marabou feathers?” I would’ve thought one of 2 things: 1. What? Is she on some covert mission where she must remain unseen in a neighborhood in the Deep South so instead of sneaking around in a ghillie suit, she’s disguised as a camellia bush? or 2. It sounds like she was wearing a white dress for a fancy evening out and was present for a mob hit or suicide bombing and got sprayed with blood splatter and chunks of tissue.
But, no! This dress is so pretty! So beautiful! So different and quirky without being costume-y. Only elegance, no kitsch. (Not that kitsch is a bad thing. Heck, look around my house. I’ve got a soft spot for kitsch. But, kitsch isn’t right for this type of thing.) Only drama, no tackiness. It’s different and funky but not in the negative, novelty, attention seeking way like Bjork’s swan dress years back. It works. It really, really words. I am astounded that I like this dress as much as I do. It’s the type of dress I would’ve coveted for my Barbie dolls when I was a little girl.
Oh, and hair and jewelry were perfect. The shoes? Not so much. Should’ve just been plain pearly white with no embellishment. The shoes she wore are too much with that skirt, and the hint of color in the shoes clashed. Bonus points for walking to La Vie En Rose – the music really, really enhanced the whole package here. (Still prefer the French over the English, though.)
This woman in this dress is the type of thing to rate a dreamy sigh. Beautiful to behold.
Emmanuelle Vaugier in Greta Constantine
ReplyDeleteBefore I go any further, please note that she walked to Lady Gaga. I’ll revisit this point in a little while.
OK, she did a great, cute, fun job of her walk. Very cute. The accessories, hair, and shoes were perfect. Her lipstick was especially good with that outfit and her dark hair.
The dress: I liked the top half. It made me think late 1970’s – early 1980’s discotheque. Cutely retro. Young. And, Vaugier’s walk displayed the top half well.
So, why can’t I say that I like this dress? The bottom half. The bottom half ruins it.
OK, designers, repeat after me: “Bubble skirts are bad.” All designers, come on, again, please: “Bubble skirts are bad.” Bubble skirts were a fashion crime in the 80’s. And, even though this one was modernized and not poofy and the material was loose and flowy, bubble skirts are still a fashion crime in 2011. All that material in the top part of the bottom half of this dress? The way it drapes and moves? It does a terrible, terrible disservice to the model. There is no way that thin, pretty, sinewy woman has a belly and saddle bags. Not even the day before her period would she ever have poofy pooches like that. Now, look at her in that dress between roughly where her waist line falls, through her tummy button area, and down to just below her hoohah. Front, side, and back views.. That dress makes her look like she’s got a belly and saddlebags. It’s not that dress was cut to try to hide something a woman saw as a problem. The dress creates the problem. The dress doesn’t accent, distract, or anything positive. That skirt is just a mess. Totally unflattering. The bottom half of this dress is bad. And, that’s such a shame because the top half is so cute and fun.
DEBRA MCGRATH IN KARAMEA
ReplyDeleteDeb! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. And, it’s not just because it’s you Deb. I’m trying really, really hard not to be biased here. Objectively, even if I had no clue who you were, I’d still be saying awesome, awesome, awesome!
First of all, supercute, different, funky fun music choice. Secondly of all, you totally cracked me up. Remember, I said that my cat had been laying on my feet under the desk while I watched the fashion show on the computer, and I laughed, cheered, and clapped so loudly while you walked that I scared the cat out of the room. It was soooo funny when you fake flirted with tuxedo man steps helper hottie. And, your walk! Or, should I say your dance? Your strut? Oh, you WORKED IT! And, you worked it well! FABULOUS!!! Patsy and Edina would’ve been proud! ;) Deb, you rocked. You really, really rocked. Standing ovation!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YjDMmjgKec
More champers, indeed!
You were most definitely one of the show stealers, Deb. You were definitely one of the very most memorable high points of the show.
BTW, how did you do that walk/dance/strut in those sky high heels? The mind boggles. I know you were on a mission not to be 5’0”, but still, you ran an awfully big risk of needing an orthopedic surgeon with that stunt! How did you swish and swirl, strut and twirl like that in those shoes (esp. with some of the skirt’s fabric being train-ish?) without breaking every single one of your tarsal bones )and both tibias and fibulas while we’re at it)?!?!?
Hair cute. Jewelry lovely. I am so glad they didn’t try to stick a big, glitzy, clunky necklace on you. A big part of the merit of the bodice of that dress is that it lets you flaunt your girls so well. A necklace would’ve been a distraction from the décolletage. My attitude is that well-displayed cleavage is a more potent and beautiful force for a woman than any jewels or baubles. That dress let you wield your boobs so very well.
The keyhole cutout in the back is unexpected, flirty, and sexy without being trampish and tawdry (the opposite of so many of the Jennifer Lopez-ish red carpet gowns).
I love this dress. This dress is so perfect. It is the best dress in the show, hands down. I love the voluminous, flowing, lovely-movement skirt with its surprising golden lining. I like the way the waist is wrapped. I think the bodice is gorgeous. The fringy hangy downy tendrils down the front of the skirt were an nice accent bit without being distracting – nicely integrated into the dress as a whole. I’m so glad you got your sleeves (I actually got mad and worried on your behalf when I was reading your account of there not being sleeves at the first fitting! I felt bad for you!). And, these sleeves are an added treat in that they are lovely and fit in well with the dress, but they are something different. They are unusual without being gimmicky. If someone had described them to me, I’d’ve had a hard time picturing them on an evening gown (I’d’ve been trying to reconcile something that sounded vaguely reminiscent of Jennifer Beales’s ripped sweatshirt neckline in Flashdance with sleeves on a ball gown). But, they really do work. Still, though, the boobs/bodice and the skirt are the big hoodyhoos of this dress. This dress is magnificent. I don’t say this lightly: this dress is a work of fashion art. It’s dramatic and fun at the same time. It moves well, hangs well. It’s a great, great, great dress.
OK, why is Deb’s dress in first place instead of tied with Goh’s dress? This dress took over 1st place firmly after repeat viewing because this is a realistic dress. This dress does a good service to women. It is a woman’s-body-friendly dress. There are what? Maybe 5 women on the planet who could truly pull off Goh’s dress to its full potential? Deb’s gorgeous dress could serve many women very well. Deb is 5’ and teeny tiny. The proportions and styling of that dress could easily be adjusted to fit taller women and women with meat on their bones. I can easily imagine a 6’ in heels, plus size woman pulling off that gown beautifully (although, she may retool the back slightly depending on how toned she was). And, I can imagine women of shapes along the whole spectrum between being made to feel and look very special and beautiful in that gown. (Personally? I’d love to see that gown in a deep, dark, rich emerald green (my favorite color and would be pretty for fancy Christmas events). Frankly, Deb, I think you need to OWN a version of this dress in a dark, dramatic green. ;) ) It’s a beautiful dress that could make any woman feel beautiful. It’s dramatic but fun. Sexy but modest. Elegant but flirty. It’s a totally winner. Best dress in the show.
ReplyDeleteColin Mochrie in V. Hazelton
*giggle* *chuckle* *laugh* *snort* BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Full on Diet Coke spraying out the nose funny.
Make your tummy hurt, can’t breathe, laughing so hard funny.
Oh, good heavens, and with that Club des Belugas song! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Perfect!!!
Needing to pause the video before the next person comes onto the runway because I have to go pee because I’ve laughed so hard level of funny.
I’m pretty sure by this point in the fashion show, my across the street neighbors could hear me laughing so loudly.
And, that suit! Shiny! Both literally and in the Firefly sense!
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
When he flung himself against the wall!!!!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
*tries to regain composure*
*fails*
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
*doubles over laughing*
*wipes eyes*
*keeps chuckling*
Whew! I gotta come up for air. I’ll resume my ramblings momentarily.
*keeps giggling*
Omigosh, that was so funny…
Thanks Deb, it was such fun! Rigel, you must be the fastest typist in the history of typing! And why don't you start your own show, Rigel's Reviews?
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, Anne of Green Gables was very nervous. We all were but some of us covered by acting silly and dancing. She was beautiful though so it was okay by me!
I type 90+ wpm. I had played piano for years before I learned to type, and I found that I took to typing quite easily. Being able to type quickly and accurately is a skill that serves me well, and I am grateful for it. *gives a shout out to 9th grade typing teacher Mrs. Thompson :) *
ReplyDeleteDo you want me to review the rest of the show (I have the rest -- I'm trapped at home today, under the weather coming off a bad migraine, and dangerously bored), or are you ready for me to shut up? I'll do your bidding. *hugs*
You can do whatever your heart desires Rigel. I am pretty fast with the typing but not that fast and not that accurate!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat my heart desires is not fit for public reading! LOL
ReplyDeleteSangita Patel in Ines di Santo
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I am freakin giddy with glee that she walked to Favorite Things by Gold Filter. Really, is there a more appropriately seductive, decadent, luxurious, sexy, shallow, and indulgent song out there for a fashion show? Nope? I thought not. Like I said earlier, the musical selections really took this fashion up a big notch.
OK, before we go any further into the fashion show, I must declare:
I hate mermaid gowns.
In general, as a rule, I can’t stand mermaid gowns. I’m sure somewhere out there in the world right now or in the mind’s eye of a designer who has yet to put scissors to fabric there may well dwell a mermaid gown that will defy my declaration and revolutionize my thinking on the subject. Haven’t seen it, yet. I hate mermaid gowns.
Why?
First and foremost, I am offended on feminist terms by any article of clothing that as a rule restricts a woman’s movement. In my eyes, a mermaid gown is a corset for a woman’s knees and calves. OK, I’ll grant you, most of the gowns on women in this show aren’t overly practical for a woman’s movement. But, at least with most of them, the woman could grab handfuls and hitch them up if she had to make a break for it. A mermaid gown is a restrictive piece of clothing that limits a woman’s movement and balance and places her in a position of weakness and dependency.
Holy crap, even the act of sitting down and then standing back up in one of those gowns! Yeesh!
OK, let’s look at this in representative yet silly, fictional terms. First, we’ve got to take the high heels out of the equation. I’m talking gowns only. If this fashion show were a horror movie, the women in the mermaid gowns would be slaughtered/infected first because they’d be the trip-and-fall-and-twist-their-ankles-helpless-women-victims. The women in gowns like Deb’s could haul ass to get away and lay in their stock of shotguns and cricket bats. The mermaid gown wearers are zombiechow.
Also, mermaid gowns so easily and frequently tarnish a woman’s body visually. If you are dressing up to feel all girly and beautiful, don’t wear something that conspires against you. Even women with dangerously low BMI’s, scrawny model chics with no fat, no poochy place, no tummy paunches, no loose skin can be made to look bulgy and bumpy by mermaid gowns, esp. in the tummy area. While a mermaid gown won’t make a size 4 woman look like a lumpy lardass like me, it certainly won’t be doing her any favors. Mermaid gowns also frequently commit crimes against booties. Even a woman with a Sports Illustrated bikini model butt can be done a disservice by a mermaid gown. They made booties look droopy *starts humming Low Rider* and wide. They so very rarely work even on the perkiest of tooshes.
And, even when the mermaid gown actually manages to be made well for the model’s body, it’s actually a cut and shape success, so very often they are tackily adorned. Most (not all) of the mermaid gowns I have seen have been gawdy. Too pageant gown-ish --- and I don’t mean pretty pageant gownish. I mean garish pageant gown-ish in a way that would be appropriate to 1985 and cans upon cans of AquaNet shellacked hairstyles.
I do not like mermaid gowns. I hereby disclose this bias.
OK, that said, let’s take a gander at Ms. Patel in her gown. Given my bitchy, hiss-and-spit dislike of mermaid gowns, I will grudgingly admit that I dislike this one less than normal. I give the designer of this dress a thumbs up for pulling off this mermaid gown as well as she did. It’s not tacky, garish, and gawdy. It’s fancy and adorned without being too much at all. I really, actively like her fabric choice. Great fabric. I’m thinking the flower is meant to be a poppy, and that works nicely with the shade of red. This is one of the least icky mermaid gowns I’ve encountered. And, while it doesn’t make Patel’s behind droopy or lumpy, it also, unfortunately, doesn’t do her any Sir Mix-a-Lot favors either. This isn’t that hypothetical mermaid gown that will turn me around my hating mermaid gowns, but I’m also not going to slam this one either. I’ll say the nicest things I can say about a mermaid gown on this one, but I still refuse to be nice about mermaid gowns.
ReplyDeleteGreat dress-such fun.
ReplyDeleteMylene Dinh-Robic in Simon Chang
ReplyDeleteBefore we talk dress or anything else, HOLY FREAKIN CRAP AT THE WAY SHE WAS HOPPING AROUND IN THOSE PSYCHO STILHETTO HIGH HEELS!!! *shakes head* Death wish by cobbler? *shakes head* Insane. Footwear insanity. The mind boggles. *shakes head* *cringes* No, no, no, no, no. No. Stop it.
OK. *deep breath* Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest…
Very cute woman doing a very cute walk in a very cute dress. Very young and perky. I like that they went with the frosty white tone hose and light colored shoes to set off the dress. I like the way they styled her hair for this outfit. I like the neckline of the dress and the straps.
But, there’s something holding me back from saying I actually like this dress. The shape is weird. The silhouette. Especially from the rear. When she’s walking away, look at her from the back, focusing on her outline from the waist down. *crinkles nose* Nope. That’s an unflattering rear silhouette for a woman, esp. on a woman as cute and perky and small as her.
Great choice of tone of red. Really luscious, vibrant red that suits model and dress well.
All in all? Really cute idea and not a total miss. Could’ve been thought through and executed a bit better and been something that would’ve qualified and a total win. Sadly, it missed. It does unpardonable things to butt, hips, thigh area. A real shame, could’ve been a win.
Gabrielle Miller in Eugenia
Miller is very, very pretty, and her hair is gorgeous. Good jewelry choices for the outfit.
But…the dress?
*blinks* Is Dynasty back on the air?
*blinks* OK. *formulates argument* There’s vintage. Rock the old stuff. Rock the originals. That’s cool. Then, there’s retro. Revisit some old favorites but update them to fit modern tastes/needs. Also, cool. Then, there’s this dress. *sigh* I mean, it’s not ugly or anything. I’m not feeling the need to stab chopsticks into my eyeballs or anything. But… really? I mean, really? That dress? That hair? As I asked, is Dynasty back on the air? Is this 1983? My very, very, very first thought the instant I saw this dress was that it reminds me sooooo much some of some of the gowns Princess Diana wore in the early 80’s in the early years of her marriage. And, I don’t mean that as an updated, retro nod. I mean, this dress could’ve been part of a red carpet spread from People magazine circa 1983. And, until this dress hops in the TARDIS and goes back to the days of Square Pegs, Double Trouble, and young Princess Di, I’m going to give it a NO.
The designer could’ve pulled this off. It could’ve been a glitzy, glamorous gown with an 80’s retro vibe. She failed. Sorry.
I mean, it’s not offensive or anything. It’s not a travesty. But, it is, sadly, a no.
Thanks Madge. It was fun. Rigel you should really be a gay man! This is dish a licious!
ReplyDeleteBut I should also say that I loved the way everyone looked. Each in her own style, or NOT but selling it and paying it respect. A wonderful group of people the girls and the boys. Working it outside their comfort zone, each and everyone. And for a great cause and needed information. xo
ReplyDeleteWork it baby!
ReplyDelete*sigh* Deb, if only we had models like you and Colin when I was at fashion school - then the runway shows wouldn't have been such a gloomfest with pouty models strutting up and down.
Elle
The show was fun to watch again. Thank you for posting the link. I still think your dress was my favorite. You look fabulous, dahling, and Colin looked great too. Both of you were fantastic. Way to go! I also loved Andrea Martin’s dress and walk. She looked wonderful.
ReplyDeleteI must share my own walk down the runway story.
About 8 years ago, I was an activity leader for the 8 - 11 year old girls at our church. We had been discussing modesty in our clothing and decided to have a modest fashion show. The night of the big show, I pulled out my disco ball and fog machine. I was dressed head to toe in camping gear. The girls were quite nervous and embarrassed to walk to runway in front of their parents, so, being their fearless leader, I turned on the music and strutted and posed my way up and down the room. We all had a good laugh at my attempt to model camping attire. I guess the girls figured if their crazy leader could do it, so could they because each girl walked the runway. It was a great time.
Looks like it was a lot of fun. I would have been scared to death. But once I was resurrected I would have strutted out there and had a ball. Its all down hit after the first trip.
ReplyDeletePamela Jo
http://theresjustlifeyaliveit.blogspot.com
Deb, if I were a gay man, there'd probably be a greater likelihood of there being a man in my bed tonight with whom to have fun. Sad but true. *makes frustrated, whimpery sounds*
ReplyDeleteOK, meow, back to my catty ways:
ReplyDeleteTre Armstrong in (I’m having trouble reading it in the video --- ummm---- Joeffer Caoc?)
Before we go any further, remember how I said earlier to note when the woman walked to Lady Gaga? If I were a betting woman, had money to bet with, and had someone to bet against, before starting the fashion show the first time I watched it, I would’ve thunked a $5 bill down on the desk by the computer mouse and bet that during the fashion show folks would walk to Blackeyed Peas and Lady Gaga before the show was over. Right now, I’d be picking 10 bucks up off the desk. It just seemed like such a given. lol
OK, before I shred the dress, let me say nice things about the model. Good hair. Suitable accessories. Really, really good shoes. Armstrong really went for it, had fun with it, used her whole body to shamelessly play with the moment. Good for her for going for it! Also, she didn’t let the fumbling trouble with unhooking the skirt thing derail her. She shrugged it off with humor and then kept up her energy and showiness full stream. I was impressed by her composure during and after that outfit hiccup. So, good things about the model.
The dress: *slides bitch mode setting higher* Really? Are you kidding me? Can we say predictable? Completely UNunique? Completely UNinnovative? Club MTV circa 1986? Spring break hootchiemama at Club LaVela in Panama City Beach? Completely obvious and boring and the sort of thing 11 year old girls draw with their toy fashion designing kits when they think they’re being edgy? Boring, obvious, done a thousand times before and done better. I guess if I were a straight man looking at that woman in that skimpy minidress, I wouldn’t be bored. lol But, fashion? Bored, bored, bored. And, the trouble unfastening the overskirt thing? That’s a discredit to the outfit, not the model. If the wearer has that much trouble with the fastener, then that’s a design flaw for the garment. And, don’t even get me started on how impractical that outfit is. One night out at a club, and how many snags would there be in that sheer layer?
I’m trying to find something nice to say about the dress. Ummmmm. I do like that shade of red. And, it does fit the model well. The cut is good.
Model win. Dress fail.
Arlene Dickinson in Izzy Camilleri
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, most excellent style points for walking to Fame by David Bowie! Had to be done, right? LOL Very fun.
I like Dickinson’s striking, daring hair. Great earrings. She had fun trying to play with attitude during her walk.
But, continuing my catty streak with yet another fashion low point in the show -
The dress: I do not like this dress at all. It’s a mermaid gown that qualifies for every single negative I stated about mermaid gowns above. Actually, the fact that it is a mermaid gown is the least mean thing I have to say about this dress. It is an ugly dress. I do not like this dress at all. I’m bummed that there would be such an ugly, atrocious dud of a dress in this fashion show. The dress is ugly. Plain and simple.
Unlike the dress above, I cannot find anything nice at all to say about this dress.
Bal Arneson in Jessica Biffi
ReplyDeleteIt was really cute how the model fully put herself into having fun and putting on a show during her walk. Brave woman to shake and shimmy like that! lol
The dress: *sigh* I mean, it’s not a total fail. But, I wouldn’t count it as a win, either. I give a C. If it weren’t for charity, I’d give it a C -. Let me explain. I do like the attempt at accenting with black detailing on the bodice and the top part of the skirt. I like what the designer was trying to do. And, I like the belt. It works very, very well with the dress. And, in a red dress fashion show that largely used reds that were the warmer reds, it was nice to see a gown done in a bluer, cooler tint of red. I like that the designer saw red in a different light. But, I’m hung up on how unflattering the top of the gown is. It does absolutely nothing for a woman’s boobs. As a matter of fact, it pretty much denies that the woman even has boobs, regardless of whether she’s an A cup or a D cup. From the profile, it’s even more obvious what a messy, stiff, cluttered, awkward silhouette the top has. It’s like there’s, oh I can’t quite put my finger on it, too much fabric up top? Or, that it’s draped not quite right? The top just seems way too bunched up. The skirt, while lovely, walks a little too close to the line of looking nightgown-ish. Look at the dress only below the belt. If that’s all you saw, would you think evening gown or nightgown from a lingerie catalog? It didn’t totally cross the line, but it comes a little too close. I dunno. I don’t want to be mean and bash this dress, but there’s just something off kilter about it. I can honestly see how some folks might actually take to it, but I don’t, mostly because of the bunchy fabric up top.
Jim McKenny in V. Hazelton
ReplyDeleteOh, my. *fans suddenly warm, red face* That man in that suit.
Well, now.
That's a whole lot of sexy.
Scrumptious.
And, the fact that he walks to How You Like Me Now by The Heavy? That’s a roaring amount of awesome.
That man + that suit + that song = raw sexiness
Oh, my holy daaaaaayum. Yes, please.
*pauses from typing just to enjoy the view for a few seconds*
Poor thing, though, so stiff and out of place. I just want to hug him or tickle him or something to get him to loosen up a little. Poor thing.
Still, though…
Dang.
That’s a spiffy suit. And, that man wears it well.
Wow.
I have no idea who he is as a person. He may be the sweetest person, or he may be a nasty jerk. I don’t know. But, aesthetically speaking, I know the sight of him walking in that suit is a handsome, lusty thing to behold.
Mighty nice.
Mmmmmm. Yum. That man knows how to wear that suit.
Christiane Laberge in Vanessa Paguandas
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderfully different dress to see coming down the runway!
I only have 3 minor complaints about this dress. I wish the bodice was of a different fabric. (The way it is now is just faintly too reminiscent of red, leather drag queen/dominatrix bustiers.) And, the bottom edge of the bodice needs to be softer. It doesn’t lay quite right at the waist in the front. Finally, I don’t like the black ribbons down from the corset binding trailing down the red skirt (more on that later). Other than these 3 trivialities, I like this dress. I really, really like the cascade of ruffles on the front of the skirt. The dress is creative and different and makes me want to keep looking to see more about it.
Laberge’s hair is so adorable! So fabulously pretty! Really, really, really like her hair. And, I stand up and salute her for going shoulders bare strapless with cleavage. She rocks!
And, bless her heart, she was obviously out of her element. She certainly didn’t take the bold, sexy strut path. Yet, she walked with grace and charm and seemed to have more fun with it with every foot of the catwalk she traversed. I found myself rooting for her and smiling and hoping she found some joy and fun in the experience.
Stylingwise, I don’t like the flowered choker, and I don’t like how with the fan, gloves, and all her entire ensemble crossed over into costume party gimmickery. The woman and dress were lovely enough and had enough presence to walk alone without a gimmicky theme to hide behind.
I'm so glad I got to watch that, thanks for posting it. Deb, you looked sensational, and you absolutely owned that runway! And Colin cracked me up with his runway walk, and he looked damn good whilst doing it. I think you both did a great job! :)
ReplyDelete(And to answer your question- worst nightmare. I couldn't set foot on a runway if my life depended on it...)
Rigel I am telling you girl, get to Fashion week and start blogging this stuff. You'll be in the front row in no time! April thanks, we didn't shame ourselves at least. Thanks for the answer to the question. It was never one of my dreams either. My dream is to have all the clothes!
ReplyDeleteYou can keep all the clothes. My wardrobe consists of jeans and t-shirts, and I'm good with that. :)
ReplyDeleteDeb, I haven't had a chance to watch the video yet, but from the photos YOU LOOK GORGEOUS!!! Beautiful dress, love that colour too ....
ReplyDeleteNOW I've watched it ... look how that audience lapped you up, girl! I'm amazed at the confidence and poise you projected while making your walk so entertaining. Barb, you must have been so proud of her! I sure am, as I watch it. I'd've been worried sick about tripping on that gown. You do it like you've been modeling all your life.
ReplyDeleteAnd Buffy St M ... who knew she had legs like that? Very unusual to see her dressed that way. She looked great too.
oh. my. god.
ReplyDeleteHOW DID YOU ALMOST LET ME MISS THIS?!?!?! >:(
Deb, you are RAVISHING. Ravishing, I say! Sexy, funny, deliriously good. And Colin, oh, Colin.
You have no idea how I admired you as you danced down the runway in that red dress. No twentysomething in the whole wide world got anything on you, girl.
Middle aged? You girls look better than me and I'm a 28 y/o. :-(
ReplyDelete<3
-L
I heard one of the fashion show songs on the radio today, and it reminded me of this. I can’t sleep tonight so I thought I’d come back and finish my nonsense here. Deb can always just delete it, of course.
ReplyDeleteIsabelle Brasseur in Marie Saint Pierre
Brasseur is such a tiny, pretty woman, and this dress suits her well. Great styling – jewelry, hair, hosiery, and shoes were perfect.
This is one of very few dresses in this fashion show to really get the rear view right, very flattering from behind.
I like the unexpected straps. They obviously weren’t meant to be nude because they are more opalescent white than flesh tone and have a sheen to them. They have a nice, subtle effect with the deep red dress.
All in all, I’d say this cute little dress is a win. My only hang up is a bit of hesitancy about the front. I’m guessing the designer was going for “rose petals,” but it’s a little too easy to register “fish scales.”
Still, good dress for the model. Well done.
Dina Pugliese in Lovas
First question: Is she as much of a fun hoot in real life as she is being a goofball on stage? If so, this is someone who would be a blast to go out with on a Friday night. Her walk was so silly and fun. Good on her for just flinging herself into the fun. Lovely nut!
Let’s get a styling complaint out of the way first. I have the same problem with her hair as I did with Megan Follows’s (but not quite as bad). It’s a heavy helmet molded to her skull. Not good. Should’ve been done softer, bigger, lighter, bouncier.
Speaking of sameness with Megan Follows, it’s a good things these 2 gowns were well spaced in the fashion show. Are they 2 distinct gowns? Yes. For sure. But, at first surface glance, they are very similar over all. Combined with the same hair styling problems, it would’ve been a mistake to have these 2 walk too close together in the fashion show.
Good shoes and jewelry choices.
I like the surprising silver zipper down the back of the gown’s bodice. And, the skirt has really great billowy flow. Beautiful and fun at the same time. This dress is a win.
Enuka Okuma in Starkerst Corsetry
ReplyDeleteWow. She is skinny. Really skinny. Tall and willowy. Like look twice and feel a hint of concern skinny.
Remember what I said about not liking mermaid gowns? That hasn’t changed. But, I will say that this one hangs well on her. The cut and fit are perfect. This is a very rare example of a mermaid gown NOT doing a disservice to a woman’s body.
I really like the white buttons up the front of the bodice. And, I like how her jewelry ties in with the buttons. Remember a few folks back, I commented on disliking the black ribbons dangling down the back of Laberge’s dress? Same complaint here. And, the black ribbons binding her corset are especially misplaced on this gown because it makes the back a jarring, unpleasant contrast with the white buttons on the front. Should’ve used pearly white ribbons to match the buttons.
OK, but now I’ve got to talk about that thing in her hair. Let me be clear: I like hats. I adore old school millinery. Ascot? Royal weddings? Kentucky Derby? Easter Sunday morning church service? Hats are a happy thing. And, I am fascinated with fascinators. Who wouldn’t want to pull her hair back on the side with a charming bauble? Be it beaded, peacock feathers, sequins, or a burst of organza or tulle, fascinators are a delicious dab of feminine fun. I am pro-hat and pro-fascinator.
OK, having said that, what on earth is that growth they have stabbed into this poor woman’s hair? It’s like the molting bastard child of a syphilitic peacock and a stand of sea oats. Please make it stop eating the side of her head.
The gown fits her well and is as lovely as it can be given the obvious disqualification from awesomeness that comes with being a mermaid gown. The fabric is good, and the buttons are charming.
But, and I can’t pinpoint exactly why, but there’s something off about the whole styling package. Something about the overall has gone wrong. The gown, her jewelry, and, in particular, her hairstyle and that hideous thing that should be arrested for imitating a fascinator all combine to yield an unsettling package when she poses at the end of the runway. Altogether, the dress, styling, and her pose just say to me “Wild West Saloon Floozy.” Madame is waiting for a cowboy to thunk a silver dollar down on the bar and take her upstairs.
That’s a styling problem, ladies.
Also, this is the only time in the whole fashion show where the music doesn’t match the woman/dress/walk.
Rick Campanelli in V. Hazelton
ReplyDeleteOh, dear. Poor man, what have they done to you?
Colin Mochrie got to be shiny.
Jim McKenny got to be yummy.
But, Rick Campanelli got to be dressed as some mutant Puckish sort of Oompa Loompa. What did Campanelli do to piss off Hazelton?
The man’s pants and vest are made from the upholstery of a tatty, old Victorian sofa from the parlor of a Storyville brothel circa 1915.
Throw some white gloves on him, and he could be a singing, dancing 1930’s theatre usher a la the Radio City Music Hall scene in the 1982 Annie movie.
Trying, trying to find something nice to say about the clothes. Ummmm, the jacket fits him well. Nice, crisp cut. There, I found something nice to say. The outfit’s still a fail, though.
But, all cute and awkward in that dorky outfit, Campanelli charmingly bounced his way around the runway for a good cause. So, good on him. What a cutie.
Buffy Sainte-Marie in Paul Hardy
Before breaking down the specifics, I’ve just got to say that the overall head to toe here is so fabulously cool. Hair, outfit, ink, cuffs, black hose, and heels. Very, very, very cool. Spiffy and a half.
And, she has some killer legs!
I really like the neckline of the top. I like the fabric and shade of red. I just like the whole outfit.
Except…
My only complaint is that even if she is showing off her fabulous legs, that skirt is too tight and too short. It’s a good thing the fashion show is a walk around and doesn’t involve any sitting. Had she had to perch upon a stool, every straight man in the audience would’ve been holding his breath and silently invoking the mantra, “Sharon Stone. Sharon Stone. Sharon Stone,” while waiting for the holy grail view.
Elisha Cuthbert in Vawk
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, huge kudos on the styling for this one. Hair, hose, jewelry, and shoes were absolutely perfect for this dress. Could not have been done any better. Bang on perfect.
Is the dress gimmicky? Well, yeah, a little. But, so what? It’s cute as all get out and very well executed and nicely crafted. It could’ve been very tacky and cheap looking, but it isn’t. The designer pulled it off really well. Over the top? Yes. Too far? No. I’m surprised I like this dress. But, I do. Who knew? *shrugs*
Andrea Martin in Farley Chatto
I don’t want to talk about this dress. If I had to talk about this dress, I’d have to be mean and say things about it being a combination of a 4 year old’s crayon drawing of a princess dress meets Fredrick’s of Hollywood catalog reject. And, about wtf is wrong with the tummy part of that dress that it is reminiscent of the rental wedding gown Phoebe wore in that episode of Friends when she was hugely pregnant. But, I don’t want to talk about the dress.
Because, it is freakin Andrea Martin from freakin SCTV doing freakin Audrey Hepburn from freakin Breakfast at Tiffany’s to freakin Moon River!!!
That’s….that’s a staggering amount of wonderful.
I don’t care about the dress.
I just want to smile.
The Ending Walk:
It’s so cute how everyone’s shoulders are more relaxed. People who had fake pageant smiles plastered on their faces during their walks now have real smiles that reach all the way to their eyes. I hope y’all had one heck of an afterparty!
Oh my god, I remember watching this when Colin posted it through Twitter. LOVE it!! The fun, the enthusiasm, the clothes... Hell yeah, I'd do it in a heartbeat! They'd need to build in some sort of reinforced steel contraption to better support the girls, and show some leg, girlfriend! and send me down the runway. Work it! Good for you for doing it, Deb. You look fantastic.
ReplyDelete