Wednesday, September 5, 2012

The Quiet House


Barbara: I almost called this post The Empty Nest because that is the ubiquitous term for what my home now is. I have nothing against the expression. A nest is cozy, potentially nurturing, a little be-fuzzed cradle of warmth and protection. But it is also just an expression … and as a result, kinda devoid of substance and evocative meaning.

The real honest truth is that—after a summer of both kids home, with their attendant messes and noises and thrown-around stuff—the house is as lovely as ever, more lovely maybe (because it’s really clean), but now it is echoey quiet.

Two rooms just sitting there, doing nothing.

I knew this day was coming. Of course, I’ve talked about it here on these very pages many times. You’ve comforted me through a bunch of baby steps leading up to this moment—and this moment, in many ways, is just a baby step itself, as both girls still officially live at home while they have their adventures in other parts of the world.

The sweetest part in the “bittersweet” aspect of the girls leaving is that they are both off on grand adventures. Adventures of a lifetime. One at school in Montreal, one in Paris doing what she loves. Is there anything more wonderful than having an adventure? When you get older you begin to get a bit nostalgic for those days of “anything can happen”, “every possibility exists”. Many years of responsibility and living the hardened reality of the choices you made long ago sometimes gets you believing that “possibility” is just a possibility for the young. Of course, that is wrong. And kinda dumb.

So, in my newly quiet house, with my newly freed-up schedule (not that the girls took up a lot of my time, but it’s strange how our beloveds’ priorities so quickly become our own), I have decided to remind myself—daily—that life does have a bookend-ish symmetry to it. The baby/old person symmetry is familiar to all of us, right? But what of the symmetry between the fledgling adult, yes, “flying the nest” and the once-vigilant, protective, hatchling-free adult now able to “fly the nest” themselves? I’m not going to leave my home. No, I’m good here. But I am going to take my own needs into my hands and have my own adventures.

Between you and me, my number one priority will be to write. Write, write, write. This is the magic space for me. It is the one thing I do that consistently makes me feel goooooood. But I will also workout, do yoga, meditate. And I will also get all my “real” work done (because there’s still a lot of that to do). How am I going to make sure I do all of this? I have … get this … made myself a serious schedule. I mean, even breakfast, shower, and walking the dog is on that list. Why? Well, I’m a disciplined person, I’ve always gotten everything done that needs to get done, but I know myself well enough to remember that I will prioritize everything else first and leave my own magic, healing, and freeing activities until, very often, there’s no time for them at all.

So, yes, my house is super-quiet right now. But if you’re looking for me, I have a bit of an adventure to take. Me and my super-quiet house. I’ll touch base when my schedule frees up (I’m thinking between 10 and 12 and 3 and 4. Oh, and maybe in the evening…). I’ll, as always, let you know how it goes!

Deb: Barb, you have the greatest attitude and it will reward you, I promise. We were empty nesters four years ago, as you know, and it cut to the quick at the beginning, but as I wrote four years ago, it became something else, something sweet, something romantic, something different. We missed Luke every single day, but it started to feel right. It felt like the right time for him and for us. And now these four years later, he is coming home and he is bringing the girl. So I guess the biggest comfort I can be is to say to you, “It will hurt and it will be creative and it will be fixed and it will change and it will hurt you and it will be your saving grace.” Peace with it is what I wish you.

51 comments:

  1. I love how you are turning their adventure into your adventure Barb. you just forgot one thing on your list.....riding lessons....perfect time!!! I love the list that you mad up though and it will be a wonderful and different time in your life. Well deserved.

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  2. Thanks, Jo! And, yes, you are so so right!! Riding lessons HAVE to be on there. xoxo

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  3. I remember leaving home for the first time. I'll never forget it. Holly and I were practically shoving mom and dad out the door! Now that I've been living on my own...funny how that perspective changes. Then I talk to my best friend with whom her and her mom RARELY talk when it's just the two of them. I talk to my mom more than my best friend does, and my best friend still lives at home. It's heartbreaking! I hope that whenever she lives on her own she misses her folks as much as I miss mine.

    Ironically, my folks are coming to visit next weekend! :D

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    1. And ironically we're going up to visit Michele next weekend! (she needs a bunch of stuff from home and we've got a celebration to share with friends in Mtl, so it's perfect) I think the relationship between parents and children depends a lot on the personal dynamics between them. Not everyone is suited to be friends. It's one of my greatest gratitude offerings: that we am close with both our daughters, and that they are close with each other.

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    2. It's so true! I can't imagine living without being as close to my mom. But for some it's a norm.

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  4. Ah yes, I can too remember the time when I moved away from home. Well our mother had looked out us a place where to live (well she discussed with the school that we could live at the school dorm a year round, when normally you would have to go home for vacations and weekends). It was just after the ninth grade, before summer vacation. Funny thing just came to my mind. Last week my brother in laws parents asked how our mother was doing, and if she had married or not. Me and my sister just laughed at that, and said that we did not know. That it is possible but we had no idea. She didn't quite like that my sister got married in secret (celebration was during my nephews bday party where she was invited, but didn't come) so she is not telling anything to my sister. I am the favourite child at the moment, but that should not last for long. Anyway, I do understand how some might miss their parents and seek guidance from them. I might see it as just a little bit weird, but I do understand why someone would do so. :)

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    1. Ha! I just posted to Kelly above and said exactly that: that not all parents and children click. Sounds like your mother has too many issues to make it easy (at the moment) for you all to seek each other out in times of need. I think you're doing the right thing by protecting yourself from pain, while still keeping the door very slightly open if anything were to change (ie her ;) )

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    2. Heh, indeed it is very very, very slightly open... You might not even get a paper through. I have been thinking that how rude would it be if I just told people that she was dead... Probably too rude. But if I ever have children, I will probably tell them that. Or live far enough for her to loose interest. :))

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  5. Aww Hon! I love how you're dealing with this. At first I thought you might be feeling, well kinda sad. Left you a message on facebook and then saw the "FUN trampolining" post! So good to know that you take it this way. I always appreciate and love your (and Deb's) attitude towards all this. I think partially coz its different with my mom. I dont blame her. But she's still stuck on "You should do what I WANT you to do" and a few very typical Indian beliefs. Mostly she's just scared of CHANGE.

    I am trying very hard to help her prepare for my move next year. And To be honest, I dont know for how long I'm moving out. Mostly because I am an INDEPENDENT KIND. And I cant stay here at 'my mom's apartment' and not feel dependent...ITS WEIRD I KNOW! IDK its just who I am. I'm in the same phase of "Millions of possibilities". And being a Believer of LOA, you know how EXHILARATING it is to me to take control of life.....well better said....To set it free! So right now I'm focusing on the pros of my decision (Never go into the cons...GOD NO!)

    And its a little difficult sometimes. Some people who hear that I'm moving dont say "Thats great, Brave move. Its always good to be Independent. Sucha big decision!" (This kinda thing isnt THAT common where I grew up) instead they say "So you are going to leave your mom here in India While you go off someplace and live a HAPPY LIFE?????" . And ya know The FUNNY thing Barb?
    I ALWAYS ask them one question, "What if next month I meet the love of my life, (sometimes you gotta say 'my mom arranges my marriage'. Which will never happen btw Ive told her already... I cannot look at a photograph, listen to some astrologer's prediction and decide to spend the rest of my life with someone who I havent even known for a month! and She agreed!) So if I get married to my soulmate and turns out he has to move someplace far. What is your take on it then?" and I expected this and almost everyone (Including my mom) said..."THEN ITS OK" or "Thats not the case....IS IT? Are you hiding a relationship from us?" or "DONT CHANGE THE SUBJECT". Soooo you can understand the kinda condition I am in.

    I still dont feel bad about it. I'm sure when the time comes I'll appreciate every bit of it. I will NEVER have regrets. Everything happens for a reason. And I know my decision is right....IDK I just feel it. And I hope my mom feels the same way you do So the transition is EASIER for her. And She can explore the various realms of Independence and ADVENTURES! (And Believe me she wants to....She my MOM! ;])

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    1. Yes, I hear you, Shalaka! I absolutely believe -- even though our decisions impact all those around us -- that our decisions belong to us alone. Our journeys are unique to us and we need to take them in our own way. Acknowledging the impact (like you're doing with your mom) and being supportive of the difficulties is kind and good. But we can't hold anyone's hand through their work -- unless we want to sacrifice our own...

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    2. Oh, I am SO excited for you! You are going to be fine on your own, I can tell. Your mom loves you, so she worries. When you move, you will have moments where you are worrying about her, thinking "Why didn't she call me? Did she tell me what her plans were for this week? " Trust me. When I first moved, I got sick of my mother calling me. Then, when she didn't call once, I got worried and called her. I remember asking her "What are you doing? Where are you? Why didn't you call me and let me know you were okay?" Then I realized I sounded like the mom!
      Best of luck, Shalaka!

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    3. I know Barb! Its our decision alone. God its so good to know you believe that too. Coz We cant make everyone around us happy! Well if they are relying on us for that...then whats the point right? If people support, its good. If they dont. We cant help them! And its the thing. If they dont understand your opinion now. Theres no point in trying to tell them that. Coz they wont get it anyway!

      HEY STEPH! Awww arent you sweet! I hope I'll be ok...HELL I KNOW IT! And my good friend is moving with me..and We are gonna stay together for a couple of years. So it will be a great bonding for us too! And I hear you, I'm prepared for that. Thankfully weve got skype and facebook now too. And it'll also give my mom a REASON to use the computer once in a while! And Bless her soul, she's trying to be ok with all this!

      And Thanks honey!! I'm REAAALLLLLLY EXCITED! :D xoxo

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    4. I am all in for experiences. It will be an unbelieveble adventure you are going to have with your friend. Also what a good way to avoid some home sickness, by bringing a friend with you. Also good thing to do, while skype and email are great for keeping in contact, is to write normal letters as well. I just loved to receive a card or mail (or package) while living abroad. ;)

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    5. Aww I know! and Its a great way to start.....Ya know. The Experience will teach us SOOOO MUCH!

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    6. Stefanie is big on the real handwritten letter. I wish I shared this proclivity because in my heart I love it, but in reality, I am so so lame :)

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    7. You are sooo not LAME! Unique...yeah...lame...NOOOO!!!!

      You have it in YOUR HEART....that counts!

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  6. When I left home for school my grandmother redecorated the whole house I think to keep her mind off,of,the fact that I was gone..when I got home it looked likei t,was a new house cause she had redecorated so much. It weird to say but now I think that now that im hme me,and her and even my grandfather were and are closer then ever because they trusted me and gave me,that,independecents that I needed,.

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    1. Yes, it sounds like you've been very lucky with the support and nurturing you've always received from your grandparents, Lyndsie! I know a lot of people who coped with kids moving out by redecorating. We're not ready to do their rooms, but maybe some of the other ones...hmmmmmm....

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  7. Barb, you are in the sam place as my mother. I lived at home for the first couple of years of university, but then I decided it was time for me to "leave the nest." My mother helped me get settled, and then she was alone, in an empty house. One of the first things my mother did( actually, she did this a few weeks before I moved) was to get a puppy. I took my dog with me when I moved and my mother knew I was going to, so she really was going to be all alone (other than one really annoying bird and a very independent cat), so she adopted a puppy from our local shelter. I think she got a puppy rather than an adult dog so that it would really require a lot of her time and attention, it would keep her busy (and boy, does it!). She also started a lot of home improvements.
    I had been planning to move for a few months, but then my grandmother passed away this past March and it changed everything. I did move out about a month or so later and I think that was when my mother really felt like she had an "empty nest." Honestly, I felt alone too, but I just felt like it was something that I needed to do. I needed to live alone for a while, I needed these new experiences.
    I know my mother trusts me, which is great. I never really gave my mother and grandmother any trouble as far as going to parties, staying out late, that sort of thing goes. Actually, they would tell me(and my mother still does) to get out and do something instead of sitting at home, working on homework. I have always been very concerned with my education, so I put other things aside. Over the last year or so I have tried to make a change: I have tried to be adventurous, traveling, doing things and meeting people that I never would have known if I had not got out and tried.
    Best of luck with the "quiet house," Barbara.

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    1. Beautifully expressed, Steph! I do think the "live alone" experience is invaluable to people for many reasons -- particularly to learn what WE really like and how we like it. Then you can amalgamate that with others when the time comes (ie spouse, children or parents). I consider my new quiet house a unique chance for me to experience that state (again).

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    2. Exactly! Living by yourself is the time when you grow the most I feel. You feel independent and free! Steph, my mom does that too. I mean here some people are pretty orthodox about going out and doing adventurous things. My mom tries to support me and respect my opinion as much as she can ya know. And She's always been the 'independent kind' too. She couldnt do many things coz of the responsibilities. But after I move out...SHE can! That makes me so happy.

      Ya know what Barb in a way its "millions of possibilities" for you too. Coz like you said, you'll get a lot done!

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    3. That's exactly what I'm thinking, Shalaka!

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  8. After my sons graduated college and moved out for good I turned their rooms into workrooms for me and guest rooms. My sons commented that I now had one bedroom and three dens. I married at 19 and so wanted my sons to explore life and wait to get married and when they married at 31 I was thrilled. I think leaving home was something I basically missed out on and I regret it to this day. The marriage lasted 20 years and when I was 39 I got the feeling of leaving the nest for the first time. You are such a great Mom Barbara that your daughters will always know they have a cozy home to come back to if needed. Looking back now that my kids are 39 and 41 I think everything worked out as it was suppose to. Enjoy your free time because before you know grandkids will be filling up your life as mine do. Time goes so fast. Love list making.

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    1. Thanks, Madge! Ain't it the truth (about time going so fast and always something there to fill it up)? PS love the "bedroom and 3 dens" set-up!

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  9. Sounds like you've got a pretty good plan! When I left home I wasn't leaving an empty nest behind and it didn't seem to have much an impact although it's likely I just didn't see it. It's a weird situation with my family because my parents never really expected to find themselves with my brother living away from home. I think it was a shock to my Mom when his medical needs reached a level that were beyond her capabilities and she had to admit he wouldn't be coming home. I don't think she's handled it very well and I honestly worry about her quite often. She is now so focused on him that everyone and everything else no longer seems to matter. She doesn't take proper care of herself and seems to be cutting herself off from the rest of the world including me and my family and even my Dad. I try to understand how difficult it must be for her and yet....I don't know. The whole empty nest thing has been interesting with my parents to say the least.

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    1. Ahhh, where did my response go to this comment??? If it's any consolation, you guys, we have the same random and frustrating issues with Blogger.

      Sorry, Erin. I'll try and repeat. I feel for you guys. Having never been in a sitch like this I can only guess that I would need to find my own happiness and feed my own needs within the confines of caring for someone else. That said, it must be very sad to feel someone you love pulling away, maybe disappearing under the heavy load. I hope your mother finds her peace!

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  10. Is it bad that I am wishing I was faced with the problem of an empty nest? LOL don't even have kids let alone kids that are ready to move out yet but I am not settling in to having room mates too well. And since I had to befriend all of them on facebook so we could discuss who was to bring toilet paper and a microwave and well you get the point, I can't vent on facebook cause they will see it. So forgive me for venting here. GRRR how I wish I was living alone!

    But Barbara you seem to be handling this all very well. My Mom says my gram (her mom) cried for the first week after my mom moved out! And my mom only moved about a minute and a half drive from her mom!! LOL

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    1. Hilarious, Kelly! And I know exactly whereof you speak! Being stuck with not-so-amazing roommates is a tricky place. Asking disparate people who don't know each other to fit together smoothly in a house is asking for trouble ;) Most of the kids I know had to move around quite a bit before they found the best partners....

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    2. Best of luck with the room mates! Remember: always have a backup role of TP. :)

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  11. Keep a thought out, everyone, for our friends in Costa Rica today!!! Huge earthquake. Thank god, nothing yet seriously grave re damage/death. Fingers crossed that no tsunami comes along...xoxo

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  12. It's funny. I was just thinking about this last night. In a year, when Eddie starts high school, he shifts from living mostly with me to living mostly with his dad. Usually, I'm a little weepy about, "Who is this big, growing young man? Where'd my little boy go?" And, I can't imagine not having him be a steady part of my day. And, then, at times like last night in the middle of math homework and teenage attitude, I think, "Ha! This time next year, his dad gets to deal with this!" LOL

    Reading today's news about the political shooting in Quebec has had me thinking about Michele. *hugs*

    Something I'm curious to hear if happens: With Quebecois French having some differences from Parisian French, I wonder if your 2 daughters will find over time that their French usage/pronounciation/etc. will begin to differentiate from each other even though they were raised with the same base.

    p.s. Article about today's big earthquake in Costa Rica in your inbox!

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    1. We did! Thanks for keeping on top of things, Rigel! As for your question -- I do think their accents will be affected. I can't wait to hear them both talking to each other!

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  13. B - We crisscrossed! I think you were reading what I put in your inbox while I was typing the above comment! LOL

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  14. i don;t know why but the idea of time and people moving on made me think of this speech from Shakespeare's as you like it . no i did'nt quote this from memory i used a wikipedia page although i did study as you like it in school!
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_the_world%27s_a_stage

    All the world's a stage,
    And all the men and women merely players:
    They have their exits and their entrances;
    And one man in his time plays many parts,
    His acts being seven ages. At first, the infant,
    Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
    And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
    And shining morning face, creeping like snail
    Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
    Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
    Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
    Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
    Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
    Seeking the bubble reputation
    Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,
    In fair round belly with good capon lined,
    With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
    Full of wise saws and modern instances;
    And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
    Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
    With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
    His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
    For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
    Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
    And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
    That ends this strange eventful history,
    Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
    Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

    sorry to hear about the hurricane in Costa Rica . big love to anyone from there .

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    1. SHAKESPEARE!!! Love As You Like It! One of my favs. This quote of Jaques is great.

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    2. Linda, this is so so perfect. Especially today. Thank you soooo much for "serenading" us with these woundrous words. xoxo

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  15. As you know Barb I'm experiencing the exact same thing at the moment. On August 19th I put my youngest, my baby, on a plane bound for Vegas. He said "Mom I know." an awful lot but I realize now it was because I was trying to make sure I told him all the things I needed him to know as he struck out on his own. He's never flown alone before so there was much to say and little patience with me on his part. As I stood in the airport hesitating to leave I got a text from him that said, "What am I gonna do without my mom?" I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. He hadn't even taken off yet!

    I miss him so much sometimes I swear it's like a physical pain but it's like you said it's the right time for him to go. As much as I wanted to keep my little boy forever I want him to be independent. I never let his Aspergers become an excuse for him not trying things on his own and he is now continuing that belief. My oldest, my daughter is already living on her own as a new mommy and yet it seems even with her so close it's hard to find time to be there for her. But I like you, am trying to do for myself now after twenty some odd years of being everything for them.

    Next week I'm supposed to go to the Colin/Brad show in Ithaca, Ricky was supposed to go with me. He loves Brad and was looking forward to maybe meeting him but the opportunity came up to go and he took it. Not sure what to do with the tickets now the thought of going by myself is not appealing but I sure could use the laughs and smiles about now!

    I heard this song after Ricky left and I completely broke down but now I find it kind of comforting. Even if you don't like the Cyrus' the lyrics are dead on. Remember what I said Barb you have a lot of support as you adjust to the quiet house.

    Billy Ray:
    She's gotta do what she's gotta do
    And I've gotta like it or not
    She's got dreams too big for this town
    And she needs to give 'em a shot
    Whatever they are.

    Miley:
    Looks like I'm all ready to leave
    And nothing left to pack
    Billy Ray:
    Ain't no room for me in that car
    Even if she asked me to tag along
    Both:
    God I gotta be strong.

    Chorus:
    Miley:
    I'm at the startin' line of the rest of my life
    As ready as I've ever been
    Got the hunger and the stars in my eyes
    The prize is mine to win
    Billy Ray:
    She's waitin' on my blessings 'fore she hits that open road
    Baby get ready, (Miley: Oh, I'm ready) get set, don't go.

    Miley:
    Looks like things are fallen in place
    Billy Ray:
    Feels like they're fallen apart
    I painted this big ol' smile on my face
    To hide my broken heart
    If only she knew
    Miley:
    This is where you don't say what you want so bad to say
    Billly Ray:
    This is where I want to but I won't get in the way
    Of her and her dreams
    And spreadin' her wings
    Miley:
    I'm ready to fly

    I'm at the startin' line of the rest of my life
    As ready as I've ever been
    Got the hunger and the stars in my eyes
    The prize is mine to win
    Billy Ray:
    She's waitin' on my blessings 'fore she hits that open road
    Baby get ready, get set, (both:)don't go.

    Chorus:
    Miley:
    I'm at the startin' line of the rest of my life
    As ready as I've ever been
    Got the hunger and the stars in my eyes
    The prize is mine to win (I'll be ok)
    Billy Ray:
    She's waitin' on my blessings 'fore she hits that open road
    Baby (Miley: Ohhhhh...) get ready, get set, please don't go.

    Billy Ray:
    Don't go
    Miley:
    Let me go now, I'm ready
    Billy Ray:
    Mmm Don't go
    Miley:
    I'll be alright.

    I'll be okay
    Know that I'll be
    Thinkin' of you
    Each and every day

    Billy Ray and Miley:
    She's gotta do what she's gotta do

    Miley:
    Let me go now

    Billy Ray and Miley:
    She's gotta do what she's gotta do

    Miley:
    I gotta do what I gotta do

    Billy Ray and Miley:
    She's gotta do what she's gotta do

    Miley:
    Fly

    Billy Ray:
    She's gotta do what she's gotta do...

    M

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    1. Go to the show! Enjoy it! I would totally beg to go with you if I didn't have classes, work, and the distance! :)

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    2. Where are you Steph it's a Friday and I don't have classes on Friday so I don't know I hate doing stuff like this alone and it was supposed to be a graduation present for Ricky so it feels wrong to go without him

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    3. Mary i always go out to see rock concerts and comedy gigs on my own . . no crime in that . go to see Colin and brad . you will kick yourself hard if you don;t . then let me know what the gig was like being irish means i won't be as likely as you to see them !

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    4. Mary, I left a long comment for you here yesterday -- and it's GONE!!! I hate when this happens! I, like Linda, stressed that you should go go GO to that concert. It's so important you keep having your own adventures now that the kids are gone, even if they were instigated by those kids. ESPECIALLY if they were instigated by your kids! Your son would want you to go and he'd be proud so of you if you went. I've done tons of stuff like this by myself. It's really great -- the minute the lights go down, you don't feel "alone" anymore. ooooorrr, it might be that little nudge to invite someone along who you like but haven't done too many "friend" things with. Could be a nice starter for that kind of thing???? Good luck and keep us posted!!!

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  16. Hi Barb, Sending you a big hug and a huge waterfall of unlimited possibilities to fuel your new adventures
    ,
    Val

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  17. My two boys moved out at the same time (ish), so it was a bit of a double whammy. I remember the sense of loss even though I knew it was "all good" and had to be and so on. Now, a year later, it's great when they come and stay and they are always welcome, but I don't want them to move back home, let me tell you. I can walk around the house naked! Hubby and I can -- you know -- wherever and whenever we like, and as noisily. Just sayin' ... you'll get to like it, I promise. Meanwhile, I like your awareness that it's a new beginning for you, too, and not just for the girls. Hope you won't rush into filling up your days too strictly with that scheduling thing. A little space around your essential activities won't hurt, and it will help you process your feelings.

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    1. Thanks for your wisdom, Kathy! Just so you know, part of the schedule thing was to put aside quiet time, nothing time, reading and resting time, because I so rarely make time for that stuff and I really feel it when I don't. I wanted to absolutely make sure I didn't busy myself up too too much-- and the schedule was my strategy!! But the reminder is ALWAYS good, so thank you! And, yes, very much looking forward to hubby-time too ;)

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    2. I must recommend that to my younger sister, who actually makes herself a written list of everything she wants to accomplish in a day. I bet she doesn't write in the "down" time, but that's a great idea!

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  18. Sending big squishy hugs to you, Barb. May your nest now be filled with many new and wonderful things. xo

    I'm not at that stage yet. My house is very quiet right now (almost eerily quiet after a long summer of boisterous noise and high energy levels!) but it'll only stay that way until 3.15 this afternoon, when I pick the girls up from school. It's a little taster of what's to come in a few years.

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    1. Thanks, Roz. I remember that transitional time too! When you tasted that quiet for a few hours every day. Strange, huh? But definitely a bit of "practice"!!

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  19. Barbara, enjoy it. I've learned from experience that... they come back!!! (And it's a wonderful thing.)

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