Wednesday, September 26, 2012

The Spring In Fall


Deb: It’s almost October and spring is in my heart. If you are a regular reader, you know that our spring, our actual May of spring, was decimated by the sudden loss of a dear and darling friend. His death coloured our summer with reconnection. We picked up the phone, messaged on FB, and emailed friends whom we love and adore but don’t see  often. And we did the same for those friends whose frequency of visits we thrive on. We couldn’t get enough of seeing those we loved or were just starting to love. It wasn’t just our thrust of motion that put this connection into place. It was all around us, with everyone we knew, the need to see someone and make a memory.

This September my parents celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary. Within days of that, the boy turned 22, and my Mum-in-law had her birthday with us.  And bless their beaks, it sure kicked off a period of celebration. In the past little while as summer has turned to fall, we have celebrated love and marriage, the coming of a baby, and many many friends’ milestone birthdays. And the interesting thing, the part of all this that made the difference in me, is the fact that they were piled up! Literally. Calendar-wise. Celebration on top of each celebration. These events consumed days and nights and allowed only an hour or so between each celebration. It was like I was being brainwashed in the ways of celebration. There was a “Celebrate good times, come on!” cult that I was slowly and unwittingly becoming a part of.

I looked at my schedule, jam-packed with happy events and panicked around just how the hell I was going to keep all the cards, gifts, donations, dates and addresses straight. I am the type of person who loves an orderly day. I love order and I love to achieve it and laud it. But I am also fine if it dissolves into a pinch of chaos. Maybe ... organized chaos. But this celebralooza was jammed into every day and night for weeks! Seriously, weeks. So I dutifully went through the cards and celebratory offerings and lined them up on the stair-landing in neat piles, whisking each away to its appropriate event. 

This subway sandwich of celebration has been like a sweet dream. The kind of sweet dreams you had as a child. You would wake up having dreamed about the candy tree in your back yard. Candy tree. In your backyard. You ate it and did not get sick at all. These dreams are the very definition of what you first thought the word dream meant.

This recent period in my life has felt like a very real dream. The kind of dream you wake up from not believing it was a dream at all. It’s as if life is circling me and daring to show itself. And all the faces at each event are 500watt bulbs with wine in their hands. Smiling like they can’t help it. And they can’t.  A baby is coming, a son is 22, a friend is turning 60 and the vibe is exactly the same. Friends, family, strangers. Each party was as if it was everyone’s very first party. Everyone was living unashamedly.

And it makes me feel like the earth is waking up and starting again. And yet the leaves are falling and the earth is sleeping for a while. 

Just what I needed to remind me.

Barbara: Oh, I love this, Deb. I love the celebration in it, the appreciation. I love that you finally get a season of joyous occasions and that they are all so lovely and wonderful and fulfilling. It’s funny when life offers up a veritable smorgasbord of events for us to feast on. I’ve had periods of my life like that. I was telling you earlier about getting jobs all in a row: the whole “it rains/it pours” scenario. But I think, after so much tragic and awful rain, you deserve the warm sun and the new buds of discovery. Soak it up, my darling friend. Spring into it!

29 comments:

  1. Aww Deb I love this! And I soooo Happy for you! Its so awesome... when things line up like this isn't it? It must be soo....ecstatic and exhilarating and refreshing.......and FUN!!! It does happen like that sometimes doesnt it? Like a snowballing effect. Sometimes if you are feeling complacent you feel that way for a while. And then if you feel happy its starts snowballing and bringing more things to be happy about and then more and then more. Then FINALLY you feel fulfilled and youve got a whole bunch of new fresh, gorgeous, DELICIOUS memories to feast on! I hope you keep having these happy memories...and I'm so proud of you that a little chaos doesnt make you change your cute smiley face to Ms.grumpy face!

    I gotta tell ya I was so very happy for you when I read all the celebration posts...especially like you said after Paul's death. It seems like in a way he is communicating with you guys. I think he has a lot to do with these celebrations. Especially the little "uncontrollable laughing" incident I told you about. So... Maybe he's up there orchestrating all this to keep you all Happy! Its something to think about.

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    1. Shalaka I am loving these new memories in the making, thanks. I am always interested in your always uplifting point of view.

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  2. Deb you deserve every bit of this celebration period you are enjoying. We all remember well how hard your spring was and how you dived in to helping your dear friends grieve. Not you are sharing in friends celebrations and are loving every minute of it! That's how you are, you just participate in "life's events" with such enthusiasm, compassion and such a kind and sharing heart. People are just attracted to your energy in good times and bad because you are so "real" ENJOY Deb, this is your season of happiness!! xo

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    1. Jo I love that you referred to it as a season of happiness. It is not without it's sadness and I know you know that but I am taking every single second of joy that is coming my way. Makes the other stuff easier to cope with.

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  3. Deb, I am so happy for you! Having this time of celebration is just...fantastic! Lovely, lovely.
    I live by the organized chaos theory. I like some order, but I like to deviate from my schedule sometimes.
    I have to say, I really like this time of year. I feel more relaxed and just happier ( of course, that could have something to do with my recent b-day celebrations). Of course, I love the winter the best, but fall is a close second!
    I hope the celebrations keep coming, Deb!

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    1. And to you Steph. I love that the joy of your own celebration is still lingering!

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  4. Wow,Deb it sounds like you really have ad a lot going on In the past couple of weeks.. And with me there is no way I could live with a schedule or organized chaos. Although I think a lot of the people that can . It's just for me and maby I'm just weird but for me I don't like to have anything scheduled unless I have too, But like I said please don't think I'm judging because I am not I think highly of people that can do the whole organized chaos but it's just not for me I just kinda go with the flow when it comes to the holidays and birthdays so close together . November will be my busy month I have 6 things to celebrate within 2 weeks of each other.

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    1. Lyndsie I would love to fly by the seat of my pants if I could. It's fun and I love when I do it. But some things in my life have to be planned sadly!

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  5. Love how everything worked out after the passing of Paul. A season of love, happiness, newness and loss. Sounds like life to me and you sure are living it with love and joy and sorrow.

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    1. Madge that's a perfect way of saying it! Thank you.

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  6. "And it makes me feel like the earth is waking up and starting again. And yet the leaves are falling and the earth is sleeping for a while."

    totally describes how I feel right now. This past semester has been so less crazy than it was. I wake up and I'm just not stressed. At all. I've often asked Holly "am I crazy?" Maybe I'm dreaming too....lol.

    Fall is my favorite time of year. The weather is cooling off after a hellacious summer of 90's-100's and the colors are starting to change. Time to pull out the sweaters and hoodies and put away the tank-tops and shorts. ^__^ Like I have said before, the lessons we learn from pain are the ones that make us the strongest.

    "Be happy. Enjoy every passing moment. Be thankful for your friends. Things you have and kin."

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    1. What a lovely comment Kelly. I will be thankful for everyone. I am also so thankful for all of you!

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  7. That's great Deb! Really nice to hear that things are all about the good stuff right now. It cheers me up to just read about it, reminds me of all the good stuff I've got to look forward to in the next few months. I do so love organized chaos!

    I must say though that it seems the Deb's of the world are on a mission to cheer me up. Either I'm in the middle of a conspiracy or you have got the most popular name in existence.
    In the past 24 hrs I've had my sister in law(Deb)call to thank me for helping out with a recent family emergency, one of my best friends (Debbie) called and we chatted for over an hour, a friend I hadn't seen in ages (Debra)stopped by to say hi, an old family friend(Deb)dropped off a bunch of fresh veg from her garden for me and now you with a reminder that hard times get better.

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    1. Erin that is fantastic. I love that. The Deb's of the world love you and want to be there for you. Glad to be counted among them!

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  8. Love Love Love that post. I always remind myself that no one gets out of this life a live and every day is a gift. Way better to celebrate and laugh anytime given a choice. So happy for you.xoxoxoDenny

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    1. It's true Denny. Sometime we catch the pain in the laughter but we still have to laugh. We all have to laugh.

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  9. I have 'celebrated' the anneversary of the passing of my granny and my dog. It still surprises me how many have enjoyed the company of my dog. Even my friends mother said that she had heard tales of my dog. But that's beside the point. Last friday tallied the year, and noticed how far I have moved on with my life. Some plans I had already talked over with my granny, so they have been in the making for a many many years (and my friends think I just jump at things :) )and I am just now following them through. Well I had made my mind up that I wouldn't move untill my granny had died. So that I would be there if she needed me to.

    It is so nice to notice how the life just goes on and how the plans unwrap/ reveal themselves little by little.

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  10. Kasku I understand completely what you are saying. As I wrote this post, I kept feeling twinges of it not wanting it to seem like I had moved on because the thought and memory of all the people I love who have moved on is with me all the time. But the truth is, that if we are still living, we have to live. And you are doing that. And your Granny would be so very happy for you.

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  11. As always, your enthusiasm is infectious. Yesterday was a gorgeous pre-autumn day. Sun was out, it was jeans weather, and I was able to ready my car for a long ride ahead. Today is still warm, but it's overcast, and without the colors of the leaves changing yet, it looks blah and depressing.

    However...

    I'm so glad I get to see you and experience some of that happiness, have it rub off on me! I'm really looking forward to this whole trip. I love every chance I get to go to shows, to get away from here for a while. But this time I get to meet up with gals, some I've known for years on-line, and enjoy enjoy enjoy! I'm SO thrilled that this autumn is a great season for you! You're certainly owed it.

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    1. Thanks Dawn! You are owed it too. We are so looking forward to this, so forward. Safe travels.

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  12. Awesome Autumn!! Fantastic Fall! Ok so I am in a good mood today : ) I say we all go jump in a big pile of leaves and just celebrate. It doesn't matter what, let's just be free. Can you tell I love fall/autumn much? LOL Glad you are having an up swing to the end of the year Deb : )

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    1. Thanks Kelly! With the long hot summer here, there are no leaves to fall into quite yet but a few trees are just starting to turn. I love the fall too! Love it!!!!!

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  13. This is just lovely, Deb. That's all I can really say. To take the time and reflect after what seems like a whirlwind of things going on in your life is just wonderful. Sometimes we just need to open the window and let fall in. :) Which is what I'm doing right now.

    I debated between which season I liked more (fall or spring), but it's definitely fall (even though my birthday is in the spring). It's like the cooldown from all the heat of summer. Love it!

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    1. It's true Holly. Everything just smells so fresh. I love the smell of the wood burning in the fireplaces and the crisp air.

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  14. I like the thought of the world coming alive, even if nature decides to take a little break...

    Just celebrate away, Deb! :)

    I always said that I only like summer or winter...but I think every season has its ups and downs. And fall is not a grey season...it's full of colours, and made for celebrating.

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  15. I read a quote with a picture of fall leaves at my parents condo. It said "Autumn, the earth's last brightest smile."

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  16. {{{Deb}}}

    I wish you could find a big pile of raked leaves to jump into! :)

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