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| Art by Deb's Finger |
iHave made this purchase in the past, only to have it go the way
of the gym membership that you pay for and never use. This time, iThought, it’s
going to be different.
$99.00 is a good deal, but it is now translating into an
excellent deal, the deal of deals, the deal of a lifetime!
The reason is simple. iHave decided that after years of
handholding and above-the-waist with my various computers that it is time for
me and my new Macbook Air to go all the way.
iDecided that iAm going to take advantage of every single class Apple has to offer. Every single class. iHave already reaped the benefits from three One To One’s (single class with client
and “Genius” teacher), and with the patient guidance of the various Geniuses
assigned to me, have learned the ins and outs of each key, program, application,
and symbol my MacBook Air has to offer.
iAm not even daunted by the fact that iHave only retained forty
percent of the info. Hell, iFigure that iAm forty percent smarter about my Mac,
so that is win-win. Plus iHave my One to
One site where iCan go for refreshers, tips and videos. Sweet. So iHave
chosen to take iPhoto next and iTunes after that! And iWon’t stop until iKnow
this computer inside and out!
iMay have just become Apple’s worst nightmare!
Each young genius assisting me is so patient and so informative
that after the first half hour iWas actually able to stop myself from saying,
“Yeah, it’s hard for me because iWasn’t brought up with this.” Or, “We didn’t
have computers.” Or, “iLearned to type on a manual typewriter.” And my personal
favourite humiliating statement, “iLearned to write with a fountain pen!” Man,
why aren’t the geniuses allowed to slap you or tell you to shut up? But no,
they just wait until you finish with your excuses, smile and continue. iHave
no doubt that their lunchroom conversation this day revolved around, “What the
fuck is a fountain pen?”
iKnow what you’re thinking, and iShare your concern! What is my
husband going to do now with all that free time? How will he fill his days when
he no longer has to troubleshoot, fix, download, upload, recall passwords, find
passwords, reset passwords, and find lost documents? iHate to sound callous,
but there’s nothing iCan do about that. He is going to have to fend for
himself. He is going to have to find a way to fill all that extra time, reading
or playing a video game or watching a movie. i’M sorry but he will just have to
deal. And iWill placate and comfort him by reminding him that there are many
more things outside the computer world that iWill still not get and still need
his constant help with. iHope to God that’s enough for him!
Because Mama’s in Apple school!
Suddenly it is all about me and my personal set up, personal training,
and personal projects. Relationship stuff will just have wait. And when the day
comes that iCan say with some level of conviction the words, “iGet it, iReally
get it!" ... only then, can we resume dinner’s-out and conversations.
Until that time iHave a job to do and iWon’t stop until it’s
done!
Thank you, Apple. iHeart you.
Barbara: Oh gosh, Deb,
you are ADORABLE! Or is that uAre??? On top of the laughs I got from this post,
I harbour a deep and ingrained jealousy. I envy the students of today, the ones
getting educated, the ones who are opening their consciousness to new and ever
more marvelous things. And those of you who, at the end of your school day, can
actually apply that knowledge in a
useful way—on your COMPUTERS??? Oh, man iWant, iWant, iWant!!
Congrats, Deb, but know I will be aiming secret sidelong
glances in your direction, pretending not to but still peering over your
shoulder and trying to copy your homework. Fair warning.
