Friday, January 20, 2012

iBrought An Apple To My Teacher

Deb: iJust purchased a new Macbook Air, so light iCan balance it on my finger. My old MacBook Pro decided that after six years of faithful service it was time to hang up its hard drive. iKnew this would involve getting to know a new computer from scratch so iDecided to purchase the $99.00 one-year Apple plan which would tell me everything iNeeded to know about the care and feeding of my new Mac.
Art by Deb's Finger
iHave made this purchase in the past, only to have it go the way of the gym membership that you pay for and never use. This time, iThought, it’s going to be different.

$99.00 is a good deal, but it is now translating into an excellent deal, the deal of deals, the deal of a lifetime!

The reason is simple. iHave decided that after years of handholding and above-the-waist with my various computers that it is time for me and my new Macbook Air to go all the way.  iDecided that iAm going to take advantage of every single class Apple has to offer. Every single class. iHave already reaped the benefits from three One To One’s (single class with client and “Genius” teacher), and with the patient guidance of the various Geniuses assigned to me, have learned the ins and outs of each key, program, application, and symbol my MacBook Air has to offer.

iAm not even daunted by the fact that iHave only retained forty percent of the info. Hell, iFigure that iAm forty percent smarter about my Mac, so that is win-win. Plus iHave my One to One site where iCan go for refreshers, tips and videos. Sweet. So iHave chosen to take iPhoto next and iTunes after that! And iWon’t stop until iKnow this computer inside and out!

iMay have just become Apple’s worst nightmare!

Each young genius assisting me is so patient and so informative that after the first half hour iWas actually able to stop myself from saying, “Yeah, it’s hard for me because iWasn’t brought up with this.” Or, “We didn’t have computers.” Or, “iLearned to type on a manual typewriter.” And my personal favourite humiliating statement, “iLearned to write with a fountain pen!” Man, why aren’t the geniuses allowed to slap you or tell you to shut up? But no, they just wait until you finish with your excuses, smile and continue. iHave no doubt that their lunchroom conversation this day revolved around, “What the fuck is a fountain pen?”

iKnow what you’re thinking, and iShare your concern! What is my husband going to do now with all that free time? How will he fill his days when he no longer has to troubleshoot, fix, download, upload, recall passwords, find passwords, reset passwords, and find lost documents? iHate to sound callous, but there’s nothing iCan do about that. He is going to have to fend for himself. He is going to have to find a way to fill all that extra time, reading or playing a video game or watching a movie. i’M sorry but he will just have to deal. And iWill placate and comfort him by reminding him that there are many more things outside the computer world that iWill still not get and still need his constant help with. iHope to God that’s enough for him!

Because Mama’s in Apple school!  Suddenly it is all about me and my personal set up, personal training, and personal projects. Relationship stuff will just have wait. And when the day comes that iCan say with some level of conviction the words, “iGet it, iReally get it!" ... only then, can we resume dinner’s-out and conversations.

Until that time iHave a job to do and iWon’t stop until it’s done!

Thank you, Apple. iHeart you.

Barbara: Oh gosh, Deb, you are ADORABLE! Or is that uAre??? On top of the laughs I got from this post, I harbour a deep and ingrained jealousy. I envy the students of today, the ones getting educated, the ones who are opening their consciousness to new and ever more marvelous things. And those of you who, at the end of your school day, can actually apply that knowledge in a useful way—on your COMPUTERS??? Oh, man iWant, iWant, iWant!!

Congrats, Deb, but know I will be aiming secret sidelong glances in your direction, pretending not to but still peering over your shoulder and trying to copy your homework. Fair warning.

75 comments:

  1. Wow! I salute you Deb! Good for you for attacking the learning curve with such enthusiasm and diligence. There are so many things to learn about a new piece of technology, it takes time and patience and can sometimes be overwhelming. You seem to have a plan of attack and the people helping you. Sometimes that is a challenge fitting it all in with a busy schedule, and calming your mind to take it all in. You also have a great cheering section with Barb!! I think you've got it covered.

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    1. Mary-Jo, my feeling is-just go in there and learn what you can. It's certainly fun doing it AND no exams!

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    2. Man....the 'no exams' is what i am jealous of :D....but I forget the jealousy when i look at the adorable finger art !!!!

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    3. All the better....no exams....what did you think of Red Deb?

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  2. I'm very jealous of your new companion--would totally love one. And I am glad you are learning all those tricks and features, because I totally can't do classes and tutorials, but having a go-to person for every question that comes up--THAT I love (you've been warned).

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    1. Warning happily taken Hart. Just hope it's within the 40% that I remember!

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  3. Morning=made! :D

    I too am "taking classes"...sort of. This may be off topic, but come May Holly will be graduated and we will have a place of our own. We are also going to be the proud owners of a kitty, possibly cable TV, and wireless Internet. In the process, I'm trying to do some research for finding the best deals and how to care for a small furry creature.

    My philosophy about technology is its only useful when it works. I wish you luck, Deb! I'm sure you'll ace all the apple classes have to offer! :]

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  4. Kelly that is all exciting news. Kitty!!!And cable TV, wireless internet. Outside of food, what more could you want?

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  5. iLove this !!!!!!!!!!!!

    Deb....gosh you are ADORABLE.....just like your finger art ..its so cute !!! I love the little hearts !!! I have my livelihood dependent on computers...so I sort of HAVE to learn what i dont understand about them...coz its like a CRIME around here :D
    lol and Barb "I envy the students of today, the ones getting educated, the ones who are opening their consciousness to new and ever more marvelous things"
    I just wanna say...GUILTY !!!! :D...BUT I KNOW I AM ONE OF THE EXCEPTIONS.....COZ YOU LOVE ME...:D! xo
    and lol if you need help doing your homework....just text me...I'll move some stuff around and get you all answers ;) B) :D

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  6. Oh Shalaka...be very careful what you offer my dear. You WILL be getting that email!

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    1. ooopsss.....Its ok... my "Oh I guess I was DRUNK when I offered that" is always helpful....for DAMAGE CONTROL !!

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  7. ...WELL THEN I should tell my mom I love her one last time !!!! :D

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  8. Don't worry, Deb. This just frees up more time for Colin to cook for you. ;)

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    1. :D YEAH...AND I AM JEALOUS OF THAT !!!!

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  9. Yes that is true Rigel. Hmmmmm. More cooking!

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  10. Thanks for the laugh today, Deb! Apple's worst nightmare, eh? Good for you! You go, girl - & don't stop until they run away from you, screaming gibberish. *hugs*

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    1. Oh Yeah Daisy green I look forward to their looks of "not her again!"

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  11. It doesn't matter that you only retain 40%. You now know what you don't remember, so you can look it up on the web. OSX usually offers you at least two, and often three, ways to do things. Menus vs. keystrokes come to mind.

    I have tutored a few people in the ways of Mac, though, and I think the one thing they find it most difficult to grasp is the concept of the Hierarchical File System (HFS) (which is not Mac-unique). This keeps them from putting stuff where it should go, and also uploading photos and documents to websites (and also attaching files to eMails.

    If you aren't comfortable with the implications of HFS, use some of your Apple tutoring time to ask about it and really learn how it works.

    Of course, you may already be good at it, in which case... never mind.

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  12. I got a tablet back in August. If I need it to do something, and I don't know how, I just give it to my 13 year old son. He figures it out for me.

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  13. Thanks Harry, didn't understand a word so yeah, I better ask! Thanks for the great tip!!! Molly that is sooooo true! The kids do it like breathing don't they?

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  14. Deb I love to read your stories they give a good chuckle . I have been learning the computer for a couple years[my girls laugh at me cause I write all my instructions down] Still have not conquer yet but brilliant me now I have taken on an e-reader, they say it is not as hard BUT at my age #x@x#*%*# HAHA Keep putting your stories on it brightens my day Peggy

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    1. I feel your pain Peggy when the kids use the computers like it was breathing. I'm soooooo glad that you follow our blog. Makes me feel close to you!

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    2. Yes Deb I agree about kids , My 12 yr. old grandson laughs at me. I love following your blog. It does help me feel closer as I have been so far away from all the family for so many years. I miss all of you . Have not talked to your Mom in a couple weeks must call her. Keep up the funny stories & all yours & Colin's escapade.

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  15. I'm not computer illiterate but I think I do rely on my husband a little to much but he is a tech guy. Heck he runs his own small computer business so I think I'm entitled. I hate having to give him that look though, you know the type of look that says "I broke it and I don't know what to do" while handing him my phone, laptop, work network etc.....

    Right now though I think I need to take an Ischeduling course as I've really shot myself in the foot, double booking and in one case triple booking myself. Sigh so much for my vow yesterday to stop stressing. Saw a new cardiologist yesterday and was basically ordered to find a way to destress, Minor atrial fibrillation exaberated by stress, yay....

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    1. Erin I have been there. Had to leave a successful job because I needed to de-stress. my advise for what it's worth-do ANYTHING, ANYTHING you can do to remove the stress from your life. Not easy but worth it. Good luck.

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  16. i grew up in the era of RTFM and proceeded to ignore it at most every turn, since it turns out i learn better by trying things out and finding the one that works best for me.

    and thank goodness, my Macs (since 1988) have allowed me to do that and so much more. i say it loud and i certainly say it proud: i LOVE my Macintosh! (numbers 5 & 6!)

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    1. Meredith when we love our Mac's we love our Mac's-true. 5 and 6. Wow, I think this is 3rd for me.

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  17. Sounds great, Deb! iGuess you're never too old to learn new things. iGot an iPod ( actually typing on it). Never had an apple product before, but always wanted one. iAm in love! Thete's so much to discover! Love all the apps and little programmes, and that iCan go online.

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    1. I have an iPad too Becki and I love it as well. That is how I do my silly little finger drawings.

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    2. But I have an iPod. Not Pad. :P
      Not that fond of these tablet pcs. ;)

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  18. Ok!!! iLaughed so hard at this, because iAm not very tech-savvy. At. All. But all my friends who have a Mac absolutely swear by it, personally, iAm not sold. iStill prefer my bulky clunky pc with a battery that lasts a good bit of time and does everything that iNeed it to do!

    iWish you luck, Deb, on your technological educational journey!

    iCouldn't resist commenting like this! :D

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    1. Love how you responded Holly, thanks! But I warn you my girl, I have been in PC world and once you go Mac, you don't go back!!!

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  19. iToo am also in love with my iPod touch! ^__^

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  20. iKnow iAlways have a hard time when iNeed to come up with the name of the machine ("What do you wish to call your machine?" AKKKK!!). My last two computers (wishing they were iSomething), have been named DeepThoughtMkII and my current laptop is called Hamster. My iPods/iPhones have been generally named Serenity. So, Deb, congratulations on the new Mac. :) (Currently trying to save for a Mac Mini...)!

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    1. Jo I love that you have named your computer. i cannot believe i have not done same. But the thing is, no matter how many names I would come up with he would still be...Mac

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    2. Jo I just read your second post. Go to your boss or phone your boss and say exactly what you have said here. You are sick with worry about losing a job you love and that you are honestly ill, the timing stinks and you will do anything to keep the job. Good luck!!!

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    3. Deb, I've even named my car - Raymond Luxury Yacht (pronounced "Throatwobbler Mangrove").

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  21. Now, completely off topic, but I need to get this off my chest and no one is around right now who can "uselessly pat my hand and say, 'There, there.'"

    I've started a new job in January. Full time hours, and I love the job and I love the people there. However in the 20 days that this month has gone through, I've worked only 5 full days. I've missed a week and a half due to illness (right now, it's been upgraded to pneumonia), and I'm petrified of losing this job. I've taken in one sick note. I've spent time at walk in clinics and the emergency room. I've taken narcotic-laced cough syrup, antibiotics and flushed my sinuses. I've lost my voice (earlier), have what sounds like a smoker's cough and walking across the house wears me out. My chest, diaphragm and abdominal muscles HURT. I can't sleep for very long lying down. I barely eat because nothing appeals to me and I don't have the energy to cook. I dare not cough too much for fear of upsetting my son (who is worried about mom and her work). And, it's just bloody cold out here.

    What it boils down to is that I'm scared of losing a good job, and I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. *sigh* If I lose this job, it wasn't meant to be, and I'll just start again at the drawing board (which is too daunting to consider).

    I'll go back to my rock and climb back underneath it...

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    1. There there Jo, hope it starts to clear soon being sick just zaps everything and I hope your job stays put, you still seem to be managing a pretty good attitude! I'm not quite in the same boat but also sick and tired of being sick and tired. I literally can't be fired as I own a daycare but that means I've got a dozen others who depend on me to do my job so they can do theirs and it has just seemed to hard lately what with family problems, health problems, and the like. Im honestly begining to think I'm reaching a breaking point and will completely loose it soon. Try to Keep your head up over your way and I'll try to do the same over here.

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    2. Jo, thanks for letting us know. I am soooo thinking about you. I know how much this job meant to you when you got it and see how much it means to you now that you're on board, but I will also invoke the "whatever happens is meant to be" decree as we kinda have no choice!! But then again, pneumonia is a justifiable illness, so... Please know I am thinking of your health situation and sending gooooood thoughts and positive flow. As for that rock -- remember to come out on a regular basis. The air out here is so much more fresh :)
      LOVE!!!!! xoxo

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    3. jo don;t worry i have been using this site to vent recently myself . i send you good vibes in the hope you will recovery quickly.

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    4. Thanks Linda and Erin. I'm trying to stay positive, but it's a hard to do while to beat that Anxiety Monster with a spork. Not working very well at the moment.

      Barb, thanks for your support. But, right now, being under the rock is just so much *warmer* than being out. It's been mid -30 C (plus windchill which has been low -40s) for the past week. There is a nasty rumour that the temps will become seasonal again (between -10 and -20 C). It's quite harsh to go from -single digit temps down to -40...

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    5. Jo and Erin we are keeping good healing thoughts for you both here. It is so awful to be ill but you have got to keep your spirits up! Get out that Spork Jo and beat it down.

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    6. Oh, Jo. *hugs, hugs, hugs*

      {{{HUGS}}}

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  22. Deb -

    Apple should hire you to star in a new series of commercials in Canada!!! :D

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    1. Shall I call them or will you? :-)

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    2. All joking aside, surely this bloggie family can play degrees of separation and get the link to this post into the right executive's inbox at apple. ;)

      Debra McGrath, apple spokeswoman (with a saucy splash of spokesmodel!) ;)

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    3. Oh no! I have this image of Colin and Deb, with Deb saying, "Hi, I'm a Mac," and Colin replying, "Hi. I'm a PC." ... *giggle*

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    4. Pepsi. Nose. Spray.

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  23. ilove that you are taking learing new things with such a smile on your face ( refers to the finger drawing : ) )
    Since finding this blog I cant help but see the internet as a whole new place! Totally changing my outlook by being here : )
    So if you are learing the new ways to work the tools that keep this blog going isay YAY!!!!
    thank you

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    1. You bet Kelly, Yay! I am all about Yay right now. Although as I sit here tonight my email is doing an OCD thing. Whatevs.

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  24. I'm with holly, I love my ipod touch. when I first got it I hate it it, but now I just love it, now that I figured out how to use it.

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    1. Always this way with techno stuff right? Lyndsie I am always love hate love but mostly...LOVe.

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  25. Congrats on getting a tech education, Deb! I am not tech savvy at all! I know how to type (obviously) and send emails (although I have my moments of "now, which button am I supposed to push?) but that's about it. I usually don't try to figure tech stuff out on my own, I ask for help from anyone and everyone that will listen. I am kind of old school, especially for my generation, because I hand write everything that I can: letters, notes for class, etc.

    You know, now Colin has time to work on that jetpack... ;)Hey, how about the iJetpack!

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  26. Oh, almost forgot...love the drawing, Deb!

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  27. you are so reminding me of my mom she did a basic computer coarse in 2010. at the time she finished it she was telling everyone what she could do , send e-mails , use a search engine and use you tube.( grated she would be a lot older then anyone posting here so that was a hell of an achievement for her !) she only has to bother me now to open attachments when my uncles partner Todd sends us photographs ! she has an acer lap top now . it is in the hospital with her . she can't use it as all her drips are in her right arm she can;t move it . i have used it though . my own computer is a humble desk top ! all this tech talk has reminded me to check moms e-mails when i go and see her tomorrow !

    i have the old obsolete i pod classic and i couldn't live without it , friends have nicknamed it my life support machine ! at the height of my CD collecting i had 400 cd's ( classic rock music is a passion of mine) this was reduced to 200 as i sold some because wanted the money to go to a rock concert back in 2006 . before i carried a disk man and a few CD's with me now i can have all the music and spoken word material i want on one little box that fits in my pocket . it is the only bit of apple kit i own .

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    1. I have the original iPod classic, too. I love it. If it ain't broke, why fix/change/trade up on it?

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    2. exactly , i only ever change things if they break . i wish though i could afford an 80gb i pod as the one i have now is 30 gb and just about full and i have a lot more on my i tunes i could add .

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  28. Nothing wrong with and iPod classic Linda. Your poor Mom. Hope she's back on her feet an back online soon.

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  29. It just goes to show you how advanced technology is. For me being in nursing school we are all required to have iPod touches. We had to purchase software that has different nursing "apps" to look up medications, lab tests, diagnoses, etc. Personally, I love the idea!! and I love my iPod touch.

    My department is thinking of also switching to e-books to reduce the costs, and I'm still on the fence about that. Personally I'm more old fashioned and prefer actual tangible books. I guess for me technology isn't always better

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    1. I totally agree... I prefer the actual books, even though they weigh you down, literally, carrying them around and stuff, but I do love them!

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  30. Books, books...oh yes, books! Only kidding of course Kelly! I am still very much attached to actual books too. Always would be I should think.

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    1. Do you know that?

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhcPX1wVp38

      :D

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  31. I have a 2006(?) Mac mini, because my husband bought it for me, because he knew Macs backwards and forwards.

    I'm divorced now.


    To my right is a book my dad bought. It's called "Is This Thing On?" A Computer Handbook for Late Bloomers, Technophobes, and the Kicking & Screaming.

    I've yet to open it.

    My mother has yet to finish reading the title.

    I'll ask Colin at the March show.

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  32. Dawn that is so funny! Yes he will be HAPPY to help! ;-)

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  33. Sharon (Paging Nurse Nightingale!) ReineJanuary 22, 2012 at 8:41 PM

    Jo-"I dare not cough too much for fear of upsetting my son (who is worried about mom and her work)." COUGH!- that is one way yr body helps to get the crap in your lungs out- which would help u to get better. Steam & mist can help w that too. Use a pillow to hug to brace your torso when u cough. Nsaids( Aleve) can also help w the basic aches & pains. No appetite- soup! even just broth but add some rice or other starch for energy- Keep away from dairy stuff for now.. Hope u feel beddah soonest.

    Kelly- "For me being in nursing school we are all required to have iPod touches."- I just PLOTZED!!! in my day u just looked up ALL the drugs & diagnosis &treatments in a book and put them on cards and carried them EVERYwhere w you so your teaches could quiz u at a moments notice. AND they did! Just hitting an app now -aw cheeze! my mind is BLOWN!! I think I need to retire soon!

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    1. Nurse Nightingale,

      I keep telling my son that I'm okay. My cough sounds worse than what it actually is. I've been taking ibuprofen, and drinking lots of water.

      I now have Yet Another Ailment (bladder infection). I had him check ot see if any of the meds I'm on are contraindicated. I've told the doctor if I get one more thing, I'm firing my body. *sigh* The doc wants me to give the body another chance. But, I don't know ...

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