The Wow Of Now

In praise of modern technology!

Deb: The other day I was on Facebook and my “chat” popped up. On the other end of the chat, was a dear friend who was in Berlin doing a show. We chatted away back and forth for about a half hour. It was absolutely delightful!  As I was waiting for her response, the computer informing me, Naomi is typing, I thought, Wow, look at us chatting away in real time across the planet! I told her this and she said, “That is exactly what I was thinking”. She said that the day before she had “chatted” with a friend as she travelled across Germany in a train. Later I got a FB message from her saying it felt like we had spent the morning having coffee together. The whole thing left me giddy. Couldn’t get over it really. The rest of the day I was wide-eyed and gawky, like the computer had been invented five minutes ago!

I hate when I take my modern inventions for granted. But happily, every so often—WOWZER! I am blown away.  At least once a month I am standing at my bank machine, or sending an email, or pausing a live show on TV and I have to stop and marvel. And I giggle because sometimes I just can’t believe my eyes. I think back to the days of frantically trying to get to the bank by 3pm on a Friday so as to have money for the weekend.  And if you didn’t make it, you were screwed. No weekend fun for you. Imagine!!!

I guess I am awed by it because it is awesome!

I think of my grandparents and the changes they saw! Can you fathom a lifetime of these wows: the CAR, the RADIO, and the TELEVISION? Ironically though, as witnessed by the popular expression, it is the invention of sliced bread that left the biggest impression! :-)

In my own lifetime I have been wowed by everything from colour television to the moon landing to Skype. I have always celebrated the advances in technology and continue to be awed by the speed with which it is growing and changing. 

I know we rail on about how technology is stealing our lives, but that is a whole other subject. That is about balance in our lives and that balance remains up to us as individuals. 

What I am awestruck about too is the sheer convenience of it. Our lives are so darned easy because of technology. I think one of the reasons it continues to astound me is that I simply don’t believe it’s possible. Any of it! Can’t fathom it. Don’t get it. Don’t understand how the technology works or, indeed, why it works. If I open my MacBook I am sure to find hard working fairies inside, working their wings off.  From the seat of my grasp on the inner workings of technical matters, it might as well be. And if it is ... thank you, fairies! Bless your little hearts.

But whatever the reason, be it fairies, or “hard words to pronounce”, technology is a gift. It is there for the taking. Look how lucky we are! We complain about Facebook Timeline like it is ruining our perfectly ordered lives. “FB timeline has broken my spirit”. Really? That’s all we got?

Today Barb and I started our Sunday morning on Skype with the lovely Shalaka. We sat and chatted, the three of us and our dogs. All the while I kept thinking, We are in Toronto in the morning and she is in Mumbai at night! Couldn’t get over it. Wanted to run out and tell someone, anyone. 

The idea behind our first Skype with Shalaka is that she wanted to be “with us” when she unveiled the gorgeous portraits she did of us and our handsome husbands. It was stellar. We got to hear each other’s voices and see each other smile and laugh, and it was awesome both emotionally and technically.

So in honour of that, as the earth is awakening in April, so too will be my awakening and appreciation of mankind’s inventions. While Mother Nature offers her chirping birds and tuliping tulips, I shall add to my annual awe by giving it up to my iPhone, that splendid device that just took a picture in Canada, which my friend in England is already viewing.

There should be an “App App”—an “Appreciation App” for all the brilliant geeks around the world who have made and continue to make our lives awesome.

This stuff takes my breath away. As it should.

Please stay tuned on Tuesday, same blog time, same blog station, as we reveal Shalaka’s stunning, loving portraits!!!

If you want to laugh till you cry please take time to enjoy this old chestnut from the genius of Louis CK. A man after my own heart! (We couldn’t embed the video, but it is so worth watching by simply clicking on the link.)

Barbara: I have to say, I agree with you completely, Deb. Sure, I believe people who tell me that technology is bad for me and that it’s a slippery slope and that we will somehow all be ruined by our rampant tech “addictions”. I believe these people … in theory. Because in my heart and in my life experiences, technology has offered me the complete opposite. Yes, there are all the lovely saving graces Deb mentions here like instant cash and such, but I can also feel on a visceral level the difference between my early 30s self—the she who raised young kids very often alone because her husband traveled, the she who often felt disconnected and lonely and unimportant (not always, of course, but often enough), the she who felt like she was losing touch with the world at large on both an emotional and intellectual level—and my present day self. Today—while I can certainly feel lonely sometimes, or alone, or disconnected—I feel like you are all here at the touch of a key-button, at the scroll of a cursor, at the launch of a browser. And we can talk and examine and discuss and soothe and support and laugh and cry. And if one of you isn’t available at any given moment, another of you is! It is miraculous. And I feel like the more we use these new innovations, the more we will adapt to them, not falling apart or shriveling up like “they” warn, but expanding and swelling and gaining more and more and ever more. But then again, I am an optimist : ). And those computer fairies? Yeah, they rock. As do the tiny little people inside our TVs and radios.

Pick Up The Phone!!!

Deb: I love email. Live on the email. It has made my life simpler and I am able to get more things done in a day as a result. Think of how many times we have a huge list of calls to make and no time to do them? Think of how many times we can just dash off an email and make a date, solve a problem, right a wrong.

People often say that technology has interfered with our lives, taken over and removed us from the “each other” of life but where email is concerned I beg to differ. As a result of this faster than light communication tool, I have been able to spend more time doing more things with the people I love.

“Hi Barb. Love to have lunch this month. Here are some possible dates:

Monday the 19th

Wednesday the 21st

Friday the 23

If none of these is good for you, please suggest what might work. Looking forward!

Love, Deb xo”

“Hi Deb,

Would love to get together and:

Wednesday the 21st is great. Say noon at the Queen Mother?

Can’t wait!

Love, Barb xo”

“Hi Barb!

Done.

Love, Deb xoxoxo

Okay so that took all of two minutes AND I was sitting in my housecoat and slippers AND we did not slide down the slippery slope of chatting on the phone about everything we were going to gab about during the impending lunch!

But ... you knew there had to be a but. Sometimes email does not do it! At all. Sometimes in fact it can be misconstrued and misleading. Email has no tone of voice, no soul. So, in order to make sure an email is taken in the right spirit I have gone to great lengths to fill said email with tons of LOL’s and :-) and :-( and (tee-hees) and (har)’s. I have even gone so far as to start the email with the following” “Hi just so you know this note is sincere and although the tone might seem irreverent, I want you to know I am being serious.”

At that point it always occurs to me that it might be time to pick up the damn phone.

I have been hurt and have hurt others by sending emails that were completely misconstrued and after the back and forthing we have had to agree to pick up the phone and straighten out the misunderstanding.

Barb and I had one such incident a few months ago. Barb sent a blog to me that I just did not “get”. Now when I say I did not get it, I don’t mean it wasn’t well written or wasn’t clear for that matter, but my brain was overloaded on that particular day and I just could not find my way through it. I responded with that tone and she sent me an email saying that “she wasn’t quite sure what to do with my response” and I took it to mean she was hurt that I had not gotten it. What she actually meant was, that she was genuinely concerned that her blog made no sense and was thinking it was bad and that she would chuck the post.

As it turns out, she was not upset at all with me. She was upset that she felt she had failed to communicate her ideas. I on the other hand thought I had offended her. She was upset that she thought that I thought that I had offended her (breath) and on it went...

At this point we should have employed the pick up the damn phone!  option. And, actually around 11pm Barb suggested doing just that but we did not as I had a mega-migraine and had to be up at 6am for a flight. So we agreed via email that we both had the best intentions and that we were both looking after each other’s feelings. Having smoothed ruffled feathers we said our “love you’s” and went to our respective beds.

Because Barb and I are great at communicating with one another and never have falling outs, we were fine. But there have been other times with different people when it has not gone as well. There have been times when I was so sure that I had been so clear and yet, my meaning was lost on the recipient. 

I am usually pretty good at knowing when to do the pick up but this one showed me yet again that I must be more diligent in this regard.

I love email. Live on the email. But every once in a while I must give a tip of the hat to Mr. A.G. Bell. He knew what he was talking about.

Barbara: You told this story so well, Deb, I have nary a comment to add. Other than the obvious reiteration that intent is everything. And sometimes it’s easy to convey, and sometimes it’s not. And of course our own insecurities and foibles are going to colour our receptors. And so we end up speaking in “defensive mode” about our own shortcomings instead of really reading what the other is trying to say. And sometimes (as I know you’ve discovered, Deb) all the lols and :) and ;) and ha!s in the world won’t make a damn bit of difference in getting past someone’s defense mechanisms (me and my dastardly fear of not communicating well!!) With a live conversation, verbal tone can at least impart intent. Way easier.

But I won’t give up my 2-minute email—no friggin’ way!!

iBrought An Apple To My Teacher

Deb: iJust purchased a new Macbook Air, so light iCan balance it on my finger. My old MacBook Pro decided that after six years of faithful service it was time to hang up its hard drive. iKnew this would involve getting to know a new computer from scratch so iDecided to purchase the $99.00 one-year Apple plan which would tell me everything iNeeded to know about the care and feeding of my new Mac.

Art by Deb's Finger

iHave made this purchase in the past, only to have it go the way of the gym membership that you pay for and never use. This time, iThought, it’s going to be different.

$99.00 is a good deal, but it is now translating into an excellent deal, the deal of deals, the deal of a lifetime!

The reason is simple. iHave decided that after years of handholding and above-the-waist with my various computers that it is time for me and my new Macbook Air to go all the way.  iDecided that iAm going to take advantage of every single class Apple has to offer. Every single class. iHave already reaped the benefits from three One To One’s (single class with client and “Genius” teacher), and with the patient guidance of the various Geniuses assigned to me, have learned the ins and outs of each key, program, application, and symbol my MacBook Air has to offer.

iAm not even daunted by the fact that iHave only retained forty percent of the info. Hell, iFigure that iAm forty percent smarter about my Mac, so that is win-win. Plus iHave my One to One site where iCan go for refreshers, tips and videos. Sweet. So iHave chosen to take iPhoto next and iTunes after that! And iWon’t stop until iKnow this computer inside and out!

iMay have just become Apple’s worst nightmare!

Each young genius assisting me is so patient and so informative that after the first half hour iWas actually able to stop myself from saying, “Yeah, it’s hard for me because iWasn’t brought up with this.” Or, “We didn’t have computers.” Or, “iLearned to type on a manual typewriter.” And my personal favourite humiliating statement, “iLearned to write with a fountain pen!” Man, why aren’t the geniuses allowed to slap you or tell you to shut up? But no, they just wait until you finish with your excuses, smile and continue. iHave no doubt that their lunchroom conversation this day revolved around, “What the fuck is a fountain pen?”

iKnow what you’re thinking, and iShare your concern! What is my husband going to do now with all that free time? How will he fill his days when he no longer has to troubleshoot, fix, download, upload, recall passwords, find passwords, reset passwords, and find lost documents? iHate to sound callous, but there’s nothing iCan do about that. He is going to have to fend for himself. He is going to have to find a way to fill all that extra time, reading or playing a video game or watching a movie. i’M sorry but he will just have to deal. And iWill placate and comfort him by reminding him that there are many more things outside the computer world that iWill still not get and still need his constant help with. iHope to God that’s enough for him!

Because Mama’s in Apple school!  Suddenly it is all about me and my personal set up, personal training, and personal projects. Relationship stuff will just have wait. And when the day comes that iCan say with some level of conviction the words, “iGet it, iReally get it!" ... only then, can we resume dinner’s-out and conversations.

Until that time iHave a job to do and iWon’t stop until it’s done!

Thank you, Apple. iHeart you.

Barbara: Oh gosh, Deb, you are ADORABLE! Or is that uAre??? On top of the laughs I got from this post, I harbour a deep and ingrained jealousy. I envy the students of today, the ones getting educated, the ones who are opening their consciousness to new and ever more marvelous things. And those of you who, at the end of your school day, can actually apply that knowledge in a useful way—on your COMPUTERS??? Oh, man iWant, iWant, iWant!!

Congrats, Deb, but know I will be aiming secret sidelong glances in your direction, pretending not to but still peering over your shoulder and trying to copy your homework. Fair warning.

Cyber Sock Drawer

Deb: Sitting after breakfast cleaning up my email. Delete 40 email and ... oh wait, I didn’t mean to delete the one from my cousin Anne ... I have to rsvp to her 50th birthday party. No problem ... go into deletes and it’s ... gone. Gone and ... gone.

Okay, need your help here, folks.

As I type, this is also happening to my husband. His exact words right now are “I just forwarded an email to myself. I have the date that it was sent, I have the account it was sent to, it’s not in trash ... What the hell?"

Where does it go? And why?

Everyone I talk to says this happens to them but nobody seems to know how to fix it.

And really, can we blame it for fucking with our minds? We have, after all, deleted it. We have sent it a clear message that it is unwanted, redundant, fit for trash. No wonder it hides.

But please, Delete Message, I am looking for you. I was WRONG to delete you. Mea typa! Come back, li’l message, come back.

If there is anyone out there who knows the whereabouts of my messages, starting with my cousin's and ending 6 months ago with the one from the guy at church who supplies the Free Trade Coffee, could you email me? I PROMISE NOT TO DELETE IT!

Barbara: Deb is not kidding. This has happened to me repeatedly. I can’t tell you how often I have looked for an email in any one of my files (not just delete, btw), and have NOT BEEN ABLE TO FIND IT!!

It’s not just frustrating, it’s weird. Why do I have thousands of inconsequential email piling up in my folders and when I need to find one specific one, it’s not there? Like Deb, this is a serious (well, pseudo-serious) plea for answers, not just a rhetorical question!!!  

Why Does My Husband Get it And I Don't?

Deb: I’m a bright girl! I’ve been well edumacated! So why does it take me so long to grasp simple technical things? For example, I learn on Tuesday how to organize my photos. Wednesday, I look at the screen and cock my head to the side like a dog! My husband comes over and calmly goes: click, drag, pull, puff ... and done. “Thank you dear,” I say, not meaning it. Eventually I get it, but it takes days, sometimes weeks, even months. I swear he is NOT smarter than me! Okay, he may disagree, but hey, this is MY blog. Truly––WE ARE EQUAL SMART! So how come he “gets it”? 

Barbara: Oh my gaawwwwd! This is so me! Why, oh why, does it take so long (if ever) for me to absorb technical things? I feel like I should wear a “I’m a techno-simp” bib when talking with, well, anyone who owns a TV, DVD player, or computer––especially my husband!  My husband's grasp of electronics and such just blows me away. It's like he just has to LOOK at a piece of equipment to understand it. And I, sadly, never, ever feel like I get it no matter how many times I STUDY it....

Deb and I already riffed on our low E.Q. (Electronics Quotient) when we bemoaned our blog-making-conundrums, but it’s especially frustrating when the “illiteracy” involves everyday items, like new-fangled washing machines or coffee-makers. 

Deb: Add to that the humiliation of my three-year-old niece grabbing the remote from me with a look of disgust on her face when I couldn’t access the “Movies on Demand” channel. I thought I handled it with great maturity. Told her I’d run out of cookies.

Blahbedy Blog

Barbara: So if you look at the date of our first post, you might notice that it says April 1, but you might also notice that we are only really going “live” this week (April 19). And you might ask yourself, Boy, what took them so long to get going? And I might––but probably shouldn’t—tell you that we’ve actually been trying to get this baby up since February!!!! And these blogs were written that long ago!! Apparently this is exactly how long it takes for two tech-illiterate middle-aged women to acclimatize themselves to the confounding worlds of (in no particular order): the internet, setting up a blog (we actually designed 7 different ones on 3 different sites before settling on this one), learning and sort-of using html (what even IS that??!!), writing blogs, and tentatively but excitedly exploring the outside world of other sites. Hopefully, our poor taxed brains won’t self-combust in this new venture! Wish us luck …

Deb: I don’t see what the hell you’re complaining about. It was EASY! I sat here quite content in my bloggy ignorance while you did all the work. Easy. Then I took time out of my very busy schedule so you could drive to my home and explain it to me. Easy. 

Barbara: No, that’s absolutely not the way it was!!!! ... well, um … maybe it actually kinda was …

PS We have received several private emails with amazing insights into friendship––but it seems Deb and I aren’t the only ones hesitant about the blog-world because none of these people were sure how to comment and join, and several people HAVE joined and commented and can't be seen! So … I’ve changed the comment setting to “anyone”, meaning you don’t need to sign up to comment. But if anyone can give us more info about these other settings (that look so damn professional on the screen, but have confounded pretty much ALL of us), we’d be eternally grateful!!