Gotta say, little miffed.
I said to her, “Wow, we’ve been friends since we were 10 and I do love you. I thought you loved me too. I’m sorry that my signing of ‘love’ offended you.” Doesn’t that sound graceful? Truth was, I was offended and seething.
But I faked it, faked it up, faked the “love”!
She responded with a lesson in email signing. I LOVE GETTING A LESSON FROM A FRIEND WHO IN MY OPINION IS IN THE WRONG! I BATHE IN THE CONDESCENSION! She told me that in her opinion, you should sign “Love” to your husband or lover, “Love ya”, “Love you”, or “Love, Mom” to your kids. And to your friends––depending where they are in the emotional pecking order––“Luv” (that old sixties fave), or your name with an “xo” after it, or “Cheers”, and if they are new friends or casual acquaintances, “Best”... and your name.
I responded to her with “What the Fuck? Love, Deb xoxoxox”
Barbara: Ouch! No, you know what? Bugs me too when people tell me what the “general rules” are or should be when it comes to mundane (and, for all intents and purposes, completely sweet) gestures. “Don’t drive drunk”: a rule that should be mandated. “Don’t send love”: Um …
But I’m also notoriously affectionate in my email. Even to the point of x-and-oing complete strangers! I’m not gonna change. I think we need MORE random acts of affection. And I kinda think of it as the alphabetic equivalent of a French kiss—er, I mean, the double-cheek kiss that the French employ. They don’t think about how much they love you when they’re laying two of those babies on your face—especially if they only have a passing acquaintance with you––they’re just being affectionately polite. For them, saying hello or goodbye is excuse enough to share the warmth.
I once had a friend inform me that I love YOU was only for a romantic someone, and I love YA was for everyone else. Er.. no. I say I love you to ALL the people I love, parent, friend, WHOEVER. If I love you, you're gonna hear it.
ReplyDeleteAlso, loved your reply.
Hm, a whole latte love going on here ... I say, whatever works, go for it. Love, sincerely, best, peace ... they're all good to me :)
ReplyDeleteSounds like a... love nazi? I have some of those neurotic rules in my head, but imposing them on others seems control freaky.
ReplyDeleteGreat video.
Much love!! <3
As I've heard it, there's a difference in loving someone and being "in love" with them...
ReplyDeleteMy best friend is a guy and I tell him pretty much every day that I love him, and he says it back. It's completely platonic, and it drives us both crazy when folks say we shouldn't say it to each other.
Hi Ruth, Adrienne, Joanne and Kassy with a K,
ReplyDeleteIf you haven't already figured out, I am multi-tasking today. I loved all of your comments because they all had an underlining theme. Should we really have rules when it comes to expressing love?? I mean, it's love! I think it's fabulous Ruth that you tell your best friend you love him. Keep it up! Joanne I love the "love latte". And thanks Kassy with a K for loving the reply because we were a little worried about putting the "F" bomb in our blog. And yes, clearly my friend is a love Nazi, so like the Seinfeld ep, I guess I should have said "NO LOVE FOR YOU!!!"
Your friend sounds like a bit of a tit, Deb!
ReplyDeleteLove,
Kate
My Kateness, Bit of a tit made me howl and not just because it rhymed. Have to say that she was not like this in high school at all. As all your comments came in, I thought more and more about it and really started to think "what has happened in her life to make her this rigid and unable to give her love freely, even on paper?
ReplyDeleteyou know, i commented on this and my comment disappeared. It was hilarious, and witty and clever. It was the best comment you ever read.
ReplyDeleteLove you,
Gae
in retrospect, maybe I only think i commented but never completed that damned "captcha" phase that sometimes hides below the sight line on my computer.
ReplyDeleteArgh. Why is this happening with our comments? Is anyone else experiencing this problem (you can email us -- address in Primer)?
ReplyDeleteBut, Gae -- it does seem a bit suspicious that your amazing comments keep disappearing, but your reviews of their pithy wittiness make it up here. Hmmm...
Love you! B and D
Oops -- Gae's last comment and our comment crossed paths. Yes, dear readers -- please allow time to fill in the "captcha" letters underneath the comment (this avoids spam) -- it does take a second to process after the "post" and after the "captcha post". Thank you!
ReplyDeleteLove, B and D
I have just spent my morning visiting all of your blogs which you already know because I commented but I just wanted to say what a fabulous, interesting charming, bright group you are. I came into blogging kicking and screaming. Now I'm just smiling.
ReplyDeleteI think your highschool friend needs to relize that she should not be offiended by you saying love at the end of your letters but be thinkful that someone is saying that she she is loved , she should feel thankful that she is loved and not hated.
ReplyDeletethanks Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteWords to live by!
I think that also if people would say love more instead of hate maby this world would be a much better place. We need love we don;t need hate we got of that in this world.
ReplyDeleteLove,Lyndsie
I sign pretty much all personal emails:
ReplyDeleteLove and hugs,
R
I'm a hugslut so the snuggly touch makes sense.
And, a long stretch darkness and bad things has taught me how critical even the smallest gesture of affection can be.
Funny thing is that over the years, a couple of people have started signing their messages to me the same way in return. Contagious warm fuzzies!
BTW -- RUTH -- My best friend since I was 17 is a guy. His WIFE doesn't even mind that he and I always say, "I love you," back and forth.
So, anyway, y'all...
Love and hugs,
R
I agree with Rigel and Lyndsie -- you gotta share the love, and (Deb's friend notwithstanding) it IS contagious!
ReplyDeleteLove, Barbara xo
Come to Yorkshire, "love" is in our vocabulary, pay the shopkeeper or busdriver and you'll hear "thank you, love".
ReplyDeleteOn a building site, a burly bricklayer will shout for a fresh load of mortar, and thank the labourer who brings it, "Ta, love"
Love,
Soubriquet.