Friday, May 7, 2010

Grammar, I hardly knew her

Deb: I confess that my computer helps me with spelling and I also confess that sometimes I spell so badly, my computer doesn’t even recognize the word and has no options for me. At least these humiliating moments are between me and my Mac––and Mac keeps my hillbilly spelling in the vault.

But grammar-wise, I have a bee in my bonnet (2 N’s and 1 E): When did the word “anyway” become “anywayS”? When did the plural-ing of the innocent “anyway” become widely acceptable? Even my lawyer now says “So, anywayS....” ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH! WHY DOES THIS AFFECT ME LIKE A FORK SCRAPING A DISH???

Why are we accepting this laying/lying/? down? You may be one of many people out there who would respond with “Well, I could care less”! And if you do, why the hell are you saying “I could care less”? It’s “I COULDN’T care less” for the love of God! “I COULD care less means you actually DO CARE because you have stated that you COULD in fact care less! If you “couldn’t care less” it means you really, really DON’T care. Let’s solve the world’s problems by starting with grammar.

By the way, I spelled “grammar” with an “e,r” first. But Mac––bless him––set me straight.

Barbara: “Anyways.” Shudder for me too. (Although I do love using it through a character’s voice in my writing!) Apropos of language, you know what word I love that I never knew was an actual word till recently? “Whatnot.” How cute is that word? “Whatnot.” I’m just gonna keep saying it now: Whatnot, whatnot, whatnot …

Deb: Speaking of grammar and whatnot, why do we call lots of email “emails”? We do not refer to snail-mail as “mails”: “Got lots of mails today.” But we say “emails”. Bugs me. Can we stop it?

Barbara: Argh! I have caught myself not once but many times using “emails”––even after your very sensible plea. Even tried mid-sentence to change it to “email”, but then felt all wonky and slipped the “s” on at the end!!! I’ve been infected! Does this mean I have to start calling the stuff in my mailbox “mails”?

Oh, and if you like grammar, check out this site: Grammar Girl.


  1. Hee! I am not letting you get me started on pet peeves about language usage. I was a proofreader and am now an editor. I'll say no more. Except that I HEAR YOU.
    I have a pet peeve about bra straps. I hate them sticking out of clothing. Maybe if they were pretty, but they never are ... so why is this so commonly done? So brazenly, as if any woman could've looked in a mirror before she left the house and said Ah, I look dazzling in my skimpy summer top with my faded frayed elastic bra strap there! I know; it's because we need our bras and also love strappy clothes that don't work with them. But ... I'll eschew the cute tops before I'll go around that way, even home alone.
    I think I just highjacked your topic of the day. Whoops!
    And finally, is there really such a thing as a comfortable bra for the C+plus set? No, I mean REALLY?

  2. Oooh, pet peeves. Grammar, check, bra-straps, check, uncomfortable bras (even for me and my meagre 34B), double-check.

    But how about hearing teeth clicking together when someone eats? That freaks me out!! *shudder*

  3. Love that you got on to bra straps My Kateness! My pet peeve is dirty bra straps. And of course by that I mean "need washing" not sexy-not that there is anything wrong with that!!!!!!!!!

  4. I don't think I've ever heard someone's teeth click together when they eat! Weird.
    But I do hate hearing other people chew, which only seems to happen when I'm in a cranky mood, and is usually my husband, poor bugger. Maybe my hearing improves on those occasions.
    And why is it that bra straps always seem to need washing long before one notices?

  5. Grammar fanatics unite!! And the biggest phrase that annoys the living carp out of me is "less is more." Because it's a LIE. Less can't be more. Because it's less. Duh. I'm totally with Kate on the chewing noises. I also hate joint popping/cracking noises. My roommate can make grinding sounds with her ankles and wrists, and she does it when she wants to get on my nerves. Mission accomplished.

    I won't go into detail about my biggest pet peeves because most of them have to do with the average person's complete and utter lack of any knowledge of human anatomy. And whatnot.

  6. My Kateness, I was brought up with a Mom who despised eating noises and as a result, I am the stealth chewer. My eating pet peeve is slurping. Just take a sip already. The slurping sounds like eating with a built in drum roll! QUIET SIPS PEOPLE! After all, less is more, right Adrienne?

  7. This is just too funny. (Don't you just hate expressions like "too funny"?) I hate "anyways" as well. Also "light on fire" which is redundant. Also "the woman (man, nurse, fireman, teacher) THAT when it should be who. Also, sentences beginning with "also." Dirty bra straps are gross and my mother also hated eating noises. If one of us made a noise, we had to sit elsewhere. She would say things like, "Can you hear a piggy around here because I can..." My poor DH drives me nuts in the morning slurping and crunching his cereal. The whole scenario is made worse by the fact I've just taken my earplugs out and everything seems twice as loud.

  8. That's hysterical, Rosina! Okay, thought of another one: table manners! I was brought up by European parents, so both hands always had to be on the table while eating. Either both hands engaged in action, or the left hand (or wrist actually) lightly placed beside the plate. Obviously, no "trucker" hunch *shudder*. And no hand on the lap (what is that hand doing, anyway??!)

  9. Adrienne, I have been telling my husband that "Less is More" in the bedroom for years! He doesn't buy it.

  10. However, I can make a very convincing argument for less being more, in the bedroom. But not without being graphic; thus I shall refrain. For now.

  11. I get what you mean, Kate (and my mind is already graphic, lol), but it still isn't MORE. Better, perhaps, but not more. *sigh* You can see how unforgiving I am about that. XD

  12. You might have to use your imagination more (not better). Unless it could be more better! Hee.

  13. You guys are killing me! I think Deb and I might weigh in with a future post about less and more in the bedroom??!

  14. Hi Gals - thoroughly enjoying your blog.
    Now, Barb, I was really intending to keep my fingers quiet as I know that no one likes a smarty-pants and that it's rude to correct others. However, since you gals brought up the subject of grammar, I can't help myself.
    You don't have an eldest daughter. To the best of my knowledge, you have two daughters, so S. is your elder daughter. No, please don't thank me - it was my pleasure.

  15. Ha! Thanks, sgbxox. Love the correction AND the blatant plug for attention.

    Actually, I'm THRILLED you caught that -- and in my anal way, must now scurry to correct said grammatical error so no one will be the wiser (er, no one ELSE ... and anyone who reads this!!)

  16. Hi SGB, welcome aboard! And speaking of Queen's we might have to pass the Grammar crown to you! Elder, who knew. Of course I only have one child so I will never be trapped by such a thing!

  17. OH! I have a t-shirt on my wist that's right up y'all's alley! mental_floss magazine puts out a t-shirt that reads, "The Comma Sutra - Making Grammar Sexy Since 1875." :)


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