Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Weeding And Growing

Barbara: I have a garden. Not everyone does. I don’t take it for granted. I know it is a special thing to be able to sit outside before, after (or during) work. To see the green. To hear the birds. To inhale the spa-licious fragrance of sweet alyssum or lavender or lilac. But I have a love/hate thing with it. It is always growing, changing, and dying in ways I can never quite grasp.

I imagine an order-of-things when I plant—and by plant, I mean “invest”. Make no mistake, a garden is not a cheap thrill, as I used to think. As Phil and I were standing at the cash of the tree nursery the other day, waiting to zip the debit card through the machine for an ungodly (to me) sum, I joked that over the years the garden has surely racked up as many costs as our children. The cashier—seemingly unaware that all that money she was counting was coming out of our personal coffers—looked at me askance and asked if the children were very young. No!!! This is a serious long term financial commitment! At least for my own green (brown?) thumb it is.

I plant with precision, with purpose, with high and mighty hopes. I do all the research. I ask many questions. I rely on horticultural advice. Every plant that has gone into the garden has been thoroughly vetted. And still, year after year, plants curl up and wither, they don’t thrive, they die in great spires of browning needle…

…or in slow spindly inversions…

…gradually diminishing and disappearing until one day I no longer remember I even planted them.

I spent all of Sunday and holiday Monday digging out trenches between my stone pavers after a heavy investment several years ago for the pavers to be laid and inter-planted with various “hardy” greens. By this year, all I have left of those expensive greens are dense and ugly weeds (some weeds, yes, I know, are lovely). After digging in I realized the poor plants had maybe an inch or so of good soil over a bed of 6 inches of pure sand—a sand bed is critical for paver stability, but not so nice for lush growth. So I (or we, my daughters both helped!) dug down, peeling the weed rug off the top, scraping any good soil off their roots, and scooping trenches out of the sand bed that I could then fill with topsoil and embellish with good plants. It was backbreaking (but also holistically heeling and therapeutic) work.
Before

During. This is Mother of thyme, which is supposed to fill in over the years...
In my Zen meditations I couldn’t help wondering why I kept at it, was I fighting a losing battle, was all this work and money for naught. And then it all began to make a kind of organic sense. All life is like this, isn’t it? You never know which of your investments of time, effort and/or money are going to really pay off. So you either never commit, never bother, just give up, or you roll up your sleeves (and pull out your wallet) year after year and try, try again.

And you know what? In the end, for all of the many garden investments that never ended up paying off for me, there are many square yards of them that truly have. As tired as I am today, as sore as my muscles are, I can honestly say that for me all the weeding, all the sowing, all the dreaming, all the hoping, all the expense, all the time, has surely surely been worth it. And today, today, I get to smell the roses.


47 comments:

  1. What a lovely looking garden you have. I am glad I wasn't the only one spending the long weekend in the garden. Its funny, I was thinking a lot of the same thoughts as I was out there. I was sore by Monday night, but it was a good sore with a feeling of satisfaction.

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    1. Katrin, you know whereof I speak! I have to say, I do love that feeling of work well done and effort well spent (unless, of course, it all dies ;) )

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  2. Gosh the garden looks lovely..I didnt know you loved Gardening Barb. Its sounds fun and refreshing.....what better way to rejuvenate our souls than spending time with nature....? It really is beautiful...and you're right you never know how something will surprise you in the future..and make you realize your efforts were worthwhile!

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    1. Love/Hate, Shalaka. In fact, I do LOVE it, but sometimes I forget just how much. Like when I'm contemplating the work I need to do (or re-do). But once I'm in it, it's always glorious!

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  3. I havw a garden. Its a vegetable, garden but its a garden. We have always plantes one and when my grandfather was living he would take me out in garden and hw to pick them and pull weeds. Now that he has,passed away both me and my grandmother want to both keep those memories alive., are garden is no big huge thing but its alwaya been one of my familya special places

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    1. Lyndsie, that sounds so nice. What a wonderful way to keep memories alive.

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    2. Thanks, those are sme of my faviorte memories

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    3. Actually, Lyndsie, I would really love to grow and tend a vegetable garden, sadly, I just don't have enough sun in my yard to grow them. I usually make up for it by growing s small pot of herbs on the front porch, which does get quite a lot of sun. Thanks for sharing this; it's so beautiful!

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    4. Sounds great Lyndsie, some of my best memories from both sets of my grandparents is from spending hours in the gardens with them. I wish I could do veggies in my garden but the deer around her are voracious garden killing monsters. I try every year and it always ends with the deer having a buffett.

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  4. Barb, you have a lovely garden! I currently have potted plants on the balcony (no yard in our condo). Each year I try to refresh it. It is a very Darwinian garden, survival of the fittest. I was amazed that the lavender survived.

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    1. I would do that too, Shawn, if I lived in a condo or apt. I think potted plants are divine. I have to say, I'm also surprised that your lavender survived. It can be tricky. Although so worth it for the fragrance.

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  5. Love your story about your garden. I have a garden as well and thankfully have a great gardener who cares for it for me. I have all drought proof plants and trees from New Zealand. They flower and my front yard always looks glorious. My neighbor is the one who designed my yard front and back and I am thankful it takes little maintenance and looks always well kept not so much from me:) I love the zen feeling of sitting on my porch and enjoying the yard and all my succulents on my porch (which I maintain). Beautifully written Barb.

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    1. Thank you, Madge. I've often contemplated what it would be like to have a gardener to do all the work for me. Probably fewer mistakes and losses! Definitely less backache. Your garden sounds gorgeous.

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  6. Barb, your garden looks lovely and so peaceful. I love how you compared it with life and effort, living and dying ,not giving up and investing time love and money into to it. And with all your hard work, it looks like it is thriving and very lush......I can almost hear the birds singing and the wonderful smells of various flowers. The thyme will look so beautiful between your pavers. It's so nice that your girls helped you too. Some of my nicest memories are when my youngest son helped me garden all day and really got "into" it. I just have one thing to add.....Epsom salts :) xo

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    1. Thanks, Mary-Jo! Epsom salts??? I think I read about that somewhere. Can you remind me how you use it?

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    2. A massage therapist who worked me over recently told me to go home and soak in a bath with Epsom salts. I bought them at the drugstore but found them at the local grocery store as well, a big bag for about 5 bucks. Apparently they draw out toxins too!

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    3. In a bath Barb, for your tired muscles after all that gardening (a glass of wine might go well with that too:) )

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    4. Ahhh, of course! And you know what? I've been doing that! It really really does work. Costco sells it by the huge (and cheap) case too. But to defend myself :) I do remember reading about pouring Epsom salts around plants for some problem or other ... just don't remember what that was!

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  7. Really lovely looking garden you have Barb. I like gardens, especially if they are not my own. I do some yard work myself when it is needed, but usually I have been just hopeing that I won't be taking out anything that was planted there. I do have a small yard/garden (as can be seen from the pic before my nic). I have not planted any of the things in there, the previous occupant had done it and I just enjoy the results and hope I won't kill anything this year. I can't wait for the summer to officially start so I can go picknicing.

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    1. Your garden looks beautiful, Kasku! It looks like you get a lot of sun, which is the biggest problem in my yard. I too often wait to see if that plant in my garden is something I planted or if it's a noxious weed. Sometimes you've just gotta let your garden grow...

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    2. Thank you, *blush*. Oh yes it gets sun the whole day. It is not so good all the time as during the really hot summers the flowers burn up, no matter how much water I pour down. I have a motto "if it has pretty flowers, let it be" no matter if everyone else says it is a weed. :)

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  8. Your garden is beautiful, I love the before and after pictures. Your whole post made me feel better about my brown thumb! We live on half an acre with about 15 fruit trees, a vegie patch, and a lot of weeds. :) We spend so much money trying to grow vegies that we usually never end up eating before the bugs get to them. But I persevere because there's something magical about watching a 3 year old pick a cherry tomato off a plant he's helped to nurture. It would be so much less time consuming and costly to just buy a punnet from the shops, but much less fun!
    I do wish I was a natural gardener and didn't end up killing half the plants I buy.. I think Canada and Australia would have the common problem of weather extremes- most new plants will survive a spring under my care but the first 43Degree day that I don't water and it's all over!
    I think you put it beautifully, comparing gardening to life. You could sit there and focus on the areas you've failed, or you could keep trying and make sure you stop and smell the roses that have survived :) x

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    1. We don't (yet) get the regular 43C heat, but it can get right into the mid-30s. Certainly we get the real cold. But there are so many other roadblocks, like not enough sun, or red ants, or powdery mildew. But navigating those roadblocks has turned into a real adventure -- that I really do love. (and thanks for the image of the 3-year-old picking and eating the tomato -- that is the best reason ever!)

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  9. Your garden looks lovely, so full and green! I too love to garden I don't think my summers would be complete without it. Unfortunatly this year my yard and gardens are a blooming disaster as we just finished levelling the yard and raising the flower beds so only my potted plants look good right now. I've got some serious investments to do this year to make it look half as good. Oh and I can attest to the sage spreading, I've been trying to get it out of my front yard ever since we bought this house and I don't think I'm any closer to actually getting rid of it.

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    1. Just as long as you don't invest too many expectations and enjoy the ride, you should be fine. And it really is worth it. Good luck!

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  10. Beautiful gardens, ladies!!! Have a bit of garden envy. At an apartment complex we were looking at before we got ours now, it had gardening space. Too bad the lady forgot about us and overbooked us. Oh well. We have a place now! :D

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    1. How lucky that there's a space devoted to that though. Maybe you can still enjoy??? And there's always the ol' pots, right?

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  11. Barb, you would have loved my grandmother. She could anything to grow anywhere. It was amazing, let me tell you. My mother and I have been spending time planting flowers and such at my new house. What hard work it is. And here, the temp gets up in the 90s during the day, so we are pouring sweat by the end of the day. I have absolutely no gardening skills, I'll admit, but I am learning along the way. We also set a new block walkway to my house and it took us 3 tries to get the right number of blocks. It's difficult and dirty work, but so worth it.

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    1. You're right -- there is NOTHING like walking through an established garden, lovingly tended for years by the same gardener. It's great you get that bonding/growing time with your mom. I sooo appreciated the time with and help from my girls.

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  12. Your yard looks great Barbara. We keep a veggie garden each spring/summer and I have a garden out front. I like to photograph the flowers so I like gardening as long as I can keep the allergies in check. I cant have any trees like you guys have in your yard because certain kinds give me hives but I LIke to use the colorful flowers out front : )

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    1. My husband suffers from allergies, so that's always in our minds when we garden. Although this year he's been staying away from eating wheat products and he swears his allergies are gone!

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    2. oh really...maybe I will need to try this : )

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  13. What a great post on gardening! You've articulated well my own thoughts on gardening. I'm so glad we have our gardens...they are truly gifts.

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  14. I know how you feel :)
    As of 1-2 years ago i randomly became the gardening type and i know all about tending to the garden. I help my mom with any gardening/weeding and have personally added a few plants i wanted to add to the yard. Although i have a problem, the plants i seem to like are the plants that require constant care and only live long in the right conditions >_>.
    For example, my favorite type of tree is birch and the clump i planted last year required watering everyday to establish it's root system. also i planted two different types of birch this year... so i have to do the same for those as well.
    well...i'm starting to get into detail ,lol, so ill just stop now...good luck on your garden :)

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    1. You sound like you have a similar natural attraction to gardening as my younger daughter. Even though she doesn't spend tons of time in the garden, she has always been drawn to it, working hard when she's there and really creating her own space. I still think that steady, constant attention to a plant or plants can be very Zen (if we don't think of it as a "chore). Thanks so much for sharing this, Garrett (it's never too long!).

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    2. Lol, it only seems like a chore for me if the plant in taking care of isn't one i particularly care for....but other than that it's nice :)

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    3. Yeah, my thoughts exactly.

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  15. Wonderful to see your flower garden! I have been planting, watering, hoeing, seeding, transplanting flowers for about 23 years now, and what I have learned? is that Flowers Do What They Want. Oh they have their reasons -- poor soil, soil too rich, too much shade, too much sun, tree roots, insects, dogs, cats, mice, and so on -- but as much as I've always planted with a certain "design" in mind ... flowers do what they want. The hollyhocks on the west end grow taller than those on the east; my balanced vision doesn't pan out. And so on. But they are living entities and they are going to surprise and delight me beyond my imaginings. I must relinquish control, and just do what I can to support and nourish them. They are my friends; I do talk to them. I like to think they talk back, but just in an unspoken language.

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    1. Yes! I'm sure there's an unspoken language there! In fact, I often imagine that my weeds let out a little scream when I pull them! (in fact, some of them really do. I tug on the stems and there is a definite high-pitched squeal!). I've seen pics of your amazing garden-space, Kate, and admire both your lovely talents and your peaceful attitude.

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  16. BEAUTIFUL, Barb!!! Very zen! :)

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  17. OH, I love your garden! :D

    I do love gardening, too. We do have a garden, too, and I plant and build...and decorate it. I don't like it, when everything's acurate and straight. I want it to look natural and wild.

    I can take some pics, and show you! =)

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    1. I'd love to see pics!! Please! I agree -- I prefer a lush, wild look. Problem is my plants often die before they get to the unruly phase. So disappointing...

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  18. Dang it! Just typed out a detailed reply, and it disappeared! :( *sigh* I will try to recreate it. (Although, some of y'all may be like, "Damn. We almost dodged the bullet of having her crap inflicted on us.")

    Before I do, though, an important part: Thinking of Deb!!! {{{HUGS}}} Holding Deb soooo tightly in a virtual reality sort of way.

    Just gave the cat a flea bath. Ugh. Do we get hazard pay for that? *cleans up the puddles of water that got spread EVERYWHERE* *blots scratches*

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    1. We always miss you when you're not here, Rigel! Sounds like you're having fun :)

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  19. My husband loves gardening - he's a qualified horticulturist as well as a zookeeper. Me? Not so much! Don't get me wrong, I love gardens. I love to sit in them, walk in them, smell the flowers, and generally immerse myself in their calm serenity... but I leave all the gardening to the resident expert, simply enjoying the results. ;)

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