Monday, June 4, 2012

The Ridiculous And The Sublime


Barbara: What a weekend.

I mean, really. Was there something in the air? Some kind of kinetic gale wind that blew through these parts and wreaked havoc and beauty in almost equal measure?

So much happened this weekend that instead of feeling prepared to share something profound and clear with you, there is a riot of stuff swirling around in my mind. It makes clarity, succinctness and sleep pretty damn hard! There is—literally—too much to tell.

I’m not a journalist (as you well know!) and this won’t be your one-stop shop for all things factual. But I can prism this world for you from my own perspective and sum up what, for me, was an amazing, magical, seismic, strange and transformative few days.

On the side of “sublime”, I spent from Friday morning until Sunday night in the quaint city of Guelph to attend and do the PR for my sister’s dance organization—the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival. As I said the other day, if you know anything about contemporary dance, you know that it is never the same, never the “expected”, it doesn’t follow any rules (other than the fundamental one: you must tell the truth), and it lives to challenge you. This weekend was no exception as dancers from all over Canada brought works so diverse that in one moment you would be watching two hilarious/tragic dancers clipped to a tree on bungees interpreting their final moments as they drown at sea, to four muscular men tearing up the stage, 500 newspapers, and each other, to five suited male dancers in reverential prayer-dance reinterpreting the “davening” ritual of the Jewish faith, to an exquisite and intensely personal and powerful duet between two people grappling with love.
Dress rehearsal shot of Kaeja d'Dance at the GCDF 2012; Armour/Amour.

Not only did we get to witness artistry at its finest and most electrifying, I got to meet all these amazing artists afterward and hear firsthand what dance means to them, what it means to perform in Guelph, and what it means to create despite so many obstacles. My daughter, Michele, was at my side the whole time, filming each artist as they shared their thoughts. We intend to amalgamate this footage over the next few months into a short documentary about the festival. I already told you how wonderful it was to be part of my sister’s extraordinary work, but to be able to also work with my daughter on something so special was an unbelievable experience!

It really made me realize how “storytelling” comes in many shapes. For me, this recent experience of being behind-the-scenes in a creative project has offered—surprise, surprise!—just as many opportunities to tell stories as sitting at my computer and writing them down from my own perspective. The stories we collected for the film have the bonus of incorporating other people’s voices and experiences, other ideas and visions, other viewpoints. In the end, we are all “writing the story” together.

But not very far away and at the same time, there was also another, wholly different, horribly dark story unfolding. While all this sublime, intense, cathartic creativity was going on, I would hear these spurts of information from the “real world”. Back home in Toronto, rain was stopping traffic and filling sewers past capacity and then bursting into the main subway line. Then the next day, a shooter let loose in the Eaton Centre—our most central and crowded shopping mall—killing his target while injuring several innocent bystanders. It didn’t seem possible that suddenly this world that was—in that same second—filled with exquisite beauty, honesty, and insight, with the language of artistry and wonder and cooperation was the same world filled with random, violent, and incomprehensible destruction.

But it is always thus, isn’t it?

It has filled my mind to capacity. I am a bruise today: blued and sensitive, aching, wary, but also smitten and loving, intensely aware of my humanity and the other bruised and aching people near and far.

Deb: Yes, the violence was so shocking. I am glad that it is still a shocking thing to hear these stories, but that doesn’t remove the shock. It has also been a weekend of peace in a funny way as we have taken a well-needed break from reality and have not strayed more than a mile from home. Your experience sounds like pure heaven and next year I am soooooo going. 

41 comments:

  1. The shooter thing is devastating. We can just hope for the best right ? hope that noone gets hurts and he goes behind the bars soon!! We kinda have made peace with people coming here and killing us for no apparent reason. IDK if you know about the terror attacks in Mumbai 3 years ago. and the once before that....and the once before.....it just goes on...! But we just have to believe and be hopeful!! :)

    Gosh your weekend sounds like so much UNADULTERATED FUN !!!!! Pure and Sublime and AWESOME..!!! And I can sooooo feel your happiness right now... Amazing !! I had a lousy weekend, watched Castle (NATHAN FILLION... Grrrr...),and I spent it playing Age of empires yelling "DIE YOU SON OF A BITCH......LEAVE MY COUNTRY....DESTROY HIM...DIE DIE DIE...YES I AM VICTORIOUS!!!" soo Nothing new just the usual...

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    1. Oh, Shalaka! You made me laugh despite myself on this one!! So sorry you had a bad weekend, but I think it sounds like you had a healthy outlet for your frustrations :) (and yes, I have heard about the Mumbai killings. So devastating)

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    2. :D oh.... dont be ....I am having fun making people laugh about it :P Yeah the mumbai killings is devastating.... lets say we are used to it now..!! our spirit's really awesome. I think people think 10 times before attacking now.... not because we are badass or anything but because NOTHING BREAKS OUR SPIRIT !!! cool huh ?

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  2. Sounds,like you had a great experience Barb.glad you had a great time

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  3. When I heard about the mall shooting in Toronto, my very first thought was, "Oh no! Deb likes to shop. I hope she wasn't there and hurt!" Then, I saw the list of victims' genders and ages, and she couldn't have been on the list. *whew!* I was shocked (yes, there's that word again) as I read the unfolding news stories out of Toronto. And, the pics of your flooding that were circulating on Twitter were just crazy. There was one of a stairway down into a subway station that looked like a waterfall or river rapids. Crazy!

    It's another reminder of that unavoidable fact: Nature's big. We're small.

    Barbara, I am sooooo, soooooo, sooooooo happy for you that you have found this incredible, satisfying new niche with your sister's dance festival. And, I actually squeaked out loud when I read the part about Michele creating a documentary. Everything about this is smile, smile, smile! I can't even describe how eager I am to watch the documentary! YAY!!!

    I had a crazy weekend here. Fri. and Sat. morning, 4 of us had a yardsale at my best friend's house. (I made $77! Woot!) All of that lifting of boxes, carrying of tables, etc., did anger my lower back (the icky disc was already cranky as a low pressure front was starting to move in -- I'm like an old lady predicting the weather with my aches and pains LOL), though, and I had a very, very sore weekend complete with muscle spasms in my lower back and walking like the Tin Man before he got squirts from the oil can. OUCH! Both days, I had to go from the yardsale into work. My next paycheck is going to be so tiny! I was there the whole (wretched!) shift on Saturday (VERY bad day full of yucky people). But, both Friday night and Sunday day, I got sent home early because business was so slow. While this is an unwelcome financial hit, it was likely the best possible thing for me because I was able to take care of my back and get caught up on some much needed sleep. Also, Eddie will be going between both sets of grandparents for 3 weeks starting end of this week so my grocery budget is going to plummet because I won't be having to feed the endlessly voracious appetite of a 13 year old boy. So, if I had to have a small check, the next one is decent timing. But, I'm so going to miss my boy!!! :(

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    1. Rigel, your sweet excitement for Michele and I just made my day!! And so sorry the back thing had to flare up again. I like all the little life checks and balances in your weekend re-cap. Amazing when that happens, huh? Eddie is sure to have a great time on his travels (even while missing his amazing Mom) xoxo

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    2. I know what you mean. My knees act up when rain is on the way. I'm only in my 20s!!! I have back problems too, due to a car accident I was in about 4 years ago.

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  4. Also, having gotten off work several hours early yesterday *grumble*, that did leave me free when the storms started popping and moving into my area at sunset. I was out for 3 hours last night over the state line up into the Missouri Bootheel doing SkyWarn storm spotting. The storms raked through AR, MO, TN, and MS. I spent most of my time up in Pemiscott County, Missouri. Some yucky stuff happened last night (a good sized chunk of property damage and some flash flooding), but, so far, thank God!, no reports of injuries or deaths. Here are the spotter reports logged by NWS in Memphis which covers my area. (Other reports from the larger region available from NWS Little Rock, AR, NWS Columbus, MS, and NWS Paducah, KY).
    http://forecast.weather.gov/product.php?site=meg&product=LSR&issuedby=MEG

    Sad that some folks lost their homes. :(

    Slow clap of approval for whatever company made my car's windshield. I have a hilarious new assortment of dings to my car's roof from being in golfball size hail, but my windshield didn't crack. w00t!

    My son was at his dad's for the weekend. I couldn't safely get to him to pick him up at bedtime last night because the highways between me and him (out in the country) were covered with water. I picked him up this morning, and it's crazy how much water there still is. Last night when I got home, I had to wade through calf deep water to get to my apartment building.

    Our great sadness here is that my son's beloved cat is beginning the slow (but not slow enough!) descent toward death. He's just fur, skin, and bones. He went a whole week without leaving my son's room. He's drinking water, but he goes about 4 days between eating even a few bites. He went 8 days without meowing! He's old and tired and becoming frailer and frailer. *sad sigh* We are loving on him, spoiling him, making him as comfortable as possible. He still purrs loudly, basks in our love, and gives us love. We have to be very careful where we pet him and how we pick him up because he has bone pain. I really, REALLY worry that I'll have to call Eddie at his grandpa's house and tell him bad news. *nervous tummy* This cat has been my son's devoted, best furry friend since Eddie was 3 years old. He is Eddie's comfort animal, his beloved companion. It's sad days around here. But, we are hopeful each time the kitty drinks some water, thrilled when a few bites of food disappear, and glad to see any indication of kidney and bowel function that shows up (too rarely) in the litter box. We want him for as many days or weeks more as possible, but we also recognize that we don't want him to suffer unnecessarily. It's so hard to watch my son facing this grief.

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    1. Rigel, thanks for sharing your story here about your dear cat. We all want to send you guys love and hugs while you go through this. You are the best family to give him such gentle and loving attention in his old age. I am thinking of you all!!! Sending love!

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    2. Thank you, Barbara.

      When I brought Eddie home this morning, the first thing he did was curl up in his bed and say, "Please lift Kansas up onto me." And, they both lay there in the bed snuggly purring for a long, long time. I had called Eddie with updates throughout the weekend to let him know Kansas was still alive.

      Oh, want to hear a funny one? My pet hermit crabs do NOT like thunderstorms! Egon and Morticia were climbing all over the place, vocalizing (hermit crabs making a series of sort of clicking sounds), and all around freaking out as another band of storms moved through at about 1:30am last night. I wonder what it is in their little crustacean brains that knows the weather outside the apartment.

      They'd better get ready for another frightened work out because bad weather's supposed to crank up again this afternoon. It's already happened some a couple of hours away in Mississippi. BTW, if you click on the link above to see last night's storm, you may have to go to page 3 or 4 or so, now, because the new reports have begun.

      BTW, Ruth won't be on on here today. But, she's asking for people's thoughts/prayers. She begins her CPE today which is the HARDEST part of seminary. It's a key component of her chaplaincy training, but it's going to make for a brutal, gut wrenching summer.

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  5. How wonderful that it was such a family affair for you. So glad it was a success, it sounds like it was an amazing event to be a part of.
    Your brain must be on overload, I bet you'll have intense dreams for a few nights while you process everything!
    My weekend was much less exciting- sleeping, eating crackers, and vomiting. Was lovely though. :)

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    1. Vomiting! Welcome to the 1st trimester!! Such a lovely thing indeed!

      Yeah, my brain was on such overload, I couldn't fall asleep, and then when I finally did, it was so deep can't remember dreaming at all...

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    2. Samara! *gentle hugs* Two words: Ginger Ale! *more careful hugs*

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    3. Samara missed saying congrats last week, so congrats exciting news! Small meals and constant snacking is all that saved me from starving during those first months of morning sikcness and even then blech. Hope it doesn't last to long for you!

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  6. We had a shooting over here (in this country, not here where I live) also 1,5 weeks ago. The guy had climbed up building and started shooting alledegly random people at 2 am. So my first reaction when I saw the news about Toronto shooting was "not there as well!" with "what's wrong with these people?".

    I planned that I would have baked the pastries and taken pics of them to show, but unfortunately I didn't have the time. I picked up my niece from up north, celebrated my cousins graduation in south and went for friends bday party. I was also able to finish a school paper.

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    1. Oh, Kasku, I know -- it's sooo senseless and random!

      It sounds like you got lots done, which is good. I'm still a ways from being organized enough to publish my "comfort food" page, but you can always send the pic even after it goes up (if you want), right?

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  7. Oh Deb and Barb, I read about the shooting in Toronto and I immediately thought of y'all!!!! Was anyone you knew hurt?

    Barb, your dance weekend sounds purely magical!

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    1. No, no one we know. But there was a 13-year-old boy who is (or was) in critical condition and a pregnant mom who got trampled and almost went into labour (she is okay now).

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  8. Loved the dance news. Very rewarding experience for you Barb. I also heard about the shooting in the mall even here in LA. Unfortunately, this seems to be happening everywhere along with two stories of cannibalism. I think the stress of unemployment and just plain crazy people are exploding into rage which seems so random. Sometimes I like to go news free for just the day. It clears my mind and soul. Glad Deb was not shopping at the mall that day.

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    1. I agree, Madge -- as tough as it is, it does feel important to take that break from terrible news from time to time.

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    2. I just read online that the man that was responsible for the cannibalism events was found and arrested.

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  9. I didn't know anything like that had happened. You see stuff like that on the news in other cities and towns and think "that'll never happen to us." Then it does.

    I don't know if some of you remember when Berea (our college town) had a shooting back in November. We were all on lockdown, but the shooter was finally caught. Unfortunately, I don't know what his fate was. We NEVER thought anything would happen like that in small sleepy Berea.

    Was anybody injured or killed in the Toronto shooting? I hope not :[

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    1. According to the news I heard one killed and several injured :(

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    2. I do remember when you guys were in lockdown! That was so so so scary.

      Yes, the target was killed (gang-related) and 6 innocent bystanders injured. Never mind all the trauma for the hundreds of people around the shooting at the time...

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    3. I know what you mean, Kelly. Thankfully there has not been a shooter at my university, but last semester a student did jump from a window, commiting suicide. One of the worst things about this was that he was in a classroom, full of other students. I heard that the professor tried to grab him before he jumped, but he couldn't get to him in time. The entire campus mourned the loss.

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    4. So sad. Makes you wonder what has happened in these individuals's lives. The shooters I mean...

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    5. Oh, Steph, that is so sad.

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  10. I am shocked to hear about the shooting in Toronto. I don't understand it. I really don't. My heart goes out to all those that were affected by it. And like others have mentioned, I am thankful that Deb did not decide to do any shopping at the Mall that day!
    Barbara, I am so glad that you had such a wonderful time at the dance festival! The way you talk (write) about it reminds me of how I feel when I see a play. It's an amazing feeling, to see performers doing their thing and to really feel it, emotions and such, all because of a performance. I did not have an eventful weekend, which was fine with me! I did a lot of reading (the book I read was 'Lady Macbeth's Daughter' by Lisa Klien. Absolutely wonderful!) and a bit of cleaning. I am planning a quick trip to the American Shakespeare Center soon, which, geek that I am, I am totally excited for! Going to see a bit of Shakespeare and a little John Ford!! Geeks unite!

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    1. Thanks for the book recommend -- I'll check it out! Yes, the whole dance experience is very much like watching a play in that it's so immediate and right there. It is more vulnerable than a filmed piece -- there's always a sense that anything could happen (on top of the emotion triggered by the piece itself). Have fun at the show!!

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    2. Exactly! The 'anything could happen' is what draws me in. I am the kind of person that will see a play 5 times and see different things and get various things out of it each time. I'm going to see three plays in two days, two of which I have seen before. The ASC is amazing. I would recommend attending if you ever have the chance. And sit on stage!

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  11. could it be conveyed any more beautifully and hauntingly than you did in the following line?

    "I am a bruise today: blued and sensitive, aching, wary, but also smitten and loving, intensely aware of my humanity and the other bruised and aching people near and far."

    this sums up my own internal experience as a human being in 2012. On a daily basis, I think about this duality of living, and how the only choice we really have in order to live fully, is to live with both great compassion and great faith. it's in the moments that I lose faith and concentrate on what "could" happen (or what did happen) and forget to balance it with gratitude and love, I am sunk. thank you for sharing this whirlwind (normal) and brilliant state of mind....xo

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    1. Thank you, Lori. I love what you see and how you translate it through your own lens. This whole weekend was such a powerful example of that "duality of living". Luckily we can out of our sinking with a bit of help xoxo

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  12. Yikes! I always hate when these super scary situations happen so close to home. I haden't heard of the flooding or shooting before this that you guys were having to deal with. So glad you guys are all doing well through it all. : )

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  13. Sounds like a wonderful and interesting way to spend a weekend! So great that you got to share in it with your daughter as well, what fun that must have been. I got to spend my weekend sitting on a soccer field watching my daughters tournament as I slowly developing the complexion of a boiled lobster, so much for SPF 60!

    When I first heard of the shooting I mistook Eaton Centre for Eaton's Place here in Winnipeg and I have to admit I felt a bigger disconnect when I relaized it was Toronto. I also instantly thought of you both and other friends in or near Toronto. Why it's a bigger shock when it's your own city is strange but undeniably so. I feel for all those injured and the young man killed as well as the mental impact it will undoubtedly have on the city as a whole.

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    1. You actually bring up a very interesting point, Erin. I think most of us do that -- while we are shocked and upset about things that happen in other places, when they are in our homes, it makes your blood run cold: that could have been me; it could have been my loved one...

      The weekend was truly beautiful. I have to take a moment here to reminisce over the old soccer tournament days with my daughter (the same one). How I loved those days on the field. Although I also remember a lot of rain and cold and not too many sunburns :)

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  14. When I heard about the shootings the first thing I thought of was my new friends in Canada : ( I am thankful you are alright but sorry that we must hear about these kinds of events as frequently as we do. Sometimes it seems as if we are a society of people in despair. But I need to stay positive so I try to look for some good around me and appreciate the beauty as well.

    I would very much like to attend the dance festival which looks like great fun and perhaps I will next year. You should be proud of your accomplishment Barb, thank you for sharing the experience.

    Over the last few weeks with all that has been going on I've decided I'm not going to say never anymore. Time is short as they say so I'm going to embrace the opportunities that arrive. We are here to live every moment and that's what I'm going to do from now on.

    I have never been to Canada but I am coming to visit soon. Just thought I'd throw that warning out there for you!

    Mary

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    1. Mary, that is so wonderful! As much for the bold sense of adventure as for the destination of choice. I love that you are taking this challenge on and going through with it. We'd love to hear what you decide and pick! And you know where to find us ;)

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    2. Thank you Barb my sister visits Niagara Falls with her family often and has told me time and again I have to get a passport so I can join them. I've always made excuses but I am going to do it. How far are you from the Canadian side of the falls? I would love to visit there and so many areas of Canada especially Quebec which both of my kids have visited!

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  15. Barb, your weekend at the Festival sounds so wonderful, and to share it with your sister and your daughter is a double bonus! I had a very similar experience to yours this weekend. I left town on Thursday to spend the weekend with my sister who lives in the country two hours out of the city. She lives in a beautiful century log house in the middle of the woods outside a small Ontario farming town. My Blackberry doesn't work there and I often feel transported back in to a gentler time and totally relax.... we read, chat, needle point...all good.

    I just returned to the city, and was listening to my youngest son's weekend experience. He was at Union Station picking up an out of town friend when the flood took place. A friend of his fell on Saturday night holding a glass ,severely cut her hand, was taken by ambulance to the hospital , had 14 stitches and he stayed with her all night. His friend's cousin was the 13 year old boy hit by gunfire at the Eaton Center. He just looked dazed and confused. How different our weekends were!! It is one thing to hear the awful news of events in our City and a totally different thing to having one of your children being SO close to those events and being so personally affected by them.

    The Ridiculous and Sublime indeed! It really makes you stop and think about balance and how really fragile we are in this crazy world of ours. Too close for comfort!~

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    1. Oh my god, Mary-Jo!!!! I cannot believe this! I had to read your comment to my family because it is so so crazy. Obviously this brings us all that other degree closer to everything that happened here this weekend.

      The good news: both killers have just been caught (the Eaton Centre guy and the sick one from Montreal).

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