Wednesday, August 10, 2011

“Like No Time Has Passed”

Barbara: Is that a midlife thing? Running into old acquaintances or meeting up with old friends and standing back and marveling that “it’s as if no time has passed at all”? Or do we all find ourselves doing that?

Well, I can say this for myself: I hear these words coming out of my mouth a lot more now than when I was in my twenties!

But it also really feels like it could be part of the whole space/time continuum thing, you know? That no time has passed. That we’re living everything simultaneously.

Just this weekend, dear college friends who we haven’t seen in at least a decade decided to heed the call of friendship and drive 4 hours so we four could catch up. It was long overdue. No one felt guilty about it, but we all knew it was time to turn back some time.

 We hadn’t been together for more than five minutes before each of us broke into huge grins and announced that, you guessed it, “no time had passed”. We were chatting and laughing and reminiscing and cracking jokes (well, the guys were … as you know, I’m no quipster). And even though of course we looked different, we didn’t look at all different, you know what I mean? Like it was the same gang as 25 years ago, with the same attitudes, wearing the same clothes (I mean, that was the 80s, but I don’t remember any of us rocking shoulder pads or Flock of Seagulls hairdos back then), even looking the same age. It was as if those rose-coloured glasses you always hear about had just popped on and all we could see was our mutual––youthful––love and affection.
Okay, Dave probably had more hair back then. And Phil too. Come to think of it, I probably did too...
Of course, after so much actual time having passed (after all, there are grown children to prove it), there was a lotta catching up to do. Some of it was the “laundry list” of “we lived there then there then here”, and some of it was the major brush strokes, “I did this then that and a little of the other”, and there was definitely some “this was a dark time” and “that was life-changing”. But there was just so much just … hanging out, being silly and laughing like we always did, like it was a Saturday night during the college years, us mawing down at the local Chinese restaurant and scrounging our pennies together to see if we could afford a beer to wash it down.

Thanks, my dear friends Dave and Nancy, for taking the time to visit and for reminding me that as fast as time seems to fly, it can also stand still and marvel.

Deb: This is splendid, Barb, really. What a great and rewarding experience that must have been for you guys. I have a dear friend. Let’s just call her Carol Ann, for that is her name. She and I were friends as little girls and then remained friends through high school and then lost touch. There was never a falling out or even a lack of interest. We just fell away from each other. Over these last ten years, through a series of circumstances and mutual friends, we came together again. And the time I spend with her online and face to face is so special, so connected, that I shake my head with wonder that it wasn’t always thus.

15 comments:

  1. I love that that can happen. I think the big thing about the 20s is people are growing and progressing at really different paces--the 30s, too--we opt to do careers and families at slightly different times, but by my 20th reunion, it had all folded back and we were just people again--old friends. It really is nice. Glad you had so much fun!

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  2. That's true, Hart, once you hit your 40s you can really sit in who you are no matter what. We had so much fun! (PS you wanna know where else I had fun? Foo Fighters concert last night. So much FUN!!!! Sorry, just had to share that :) )

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  3. I can relate to this because in middle school I had a friend who I had been friends with since six grade. We became very close and she was a great friend . After high school we had a stupid fight and did not talk to each other all through college . It was only about a yeAr ago till we ran into each other in tOwn. We started talking face to face , then by phone , then more through FAcebook. Now we are best friends. It's like we had went back to middle school before our fight and time was standing still . You got to live that.

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  4. Loved this story. I have friends from all the stages of my life and we try and connect as often as possible. It is always a delight to catch up.

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  5. Lyndise, great story!! I'm so glad you guys found each other again and were able to re-connect to that degree.

    Madge, it really is amazing. The strangest thing is, like Deb said, when you lose touch with people you always loved and had fun with. So it's great when you get thrown back together.

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  6. Such a great post. It's a special thing to have such amazing friends and knowing that no matter what passes or how much time passes, you are always friends. It's great that you were able to get together with them.

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  7. Thanks for sharing, dear, dear friend! We had a wonderful time and look forward to seeing you both sooner than a decade from now! Can't wait to be silly and laugh another night away. Remember, you are always welcome in the "D"! Much love, Nancy & Dave xoxo

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  8. Molly, thanks! And great new profile. I love the pic!

    Nancy and Dave: love always! And no more ten-year breaks, absolutely!!

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  9. Connection. That's really what it's all about isn't it? Nancy and Dave look like fun happy people. How nice for the four of you. Yes Molly, great pix.

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  10. It's always fun to connect with friends we haven't seen for a while. It's the main reason I enjoy facebook as much as I do. As a child I grew up moving around a lot, due to my dad being in the Army. Most of my childhood friends grew up the same way moving from base to base every couple of years, going off in opposing directions. Facebook has been a great way for us to finally reconnect again.

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  11. And I always love the photos of you, your family, and your friends. "All you beautiful people...."

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  12. This is lovely. I've had the pleasure of seeing old friends the last few years and it's been such a remarkable experience.

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  13. Old friends don't need physical closeness. We are connected by those memories and shared experiences and after all, what's a decade or two among real, true friends? Thanks for sharing the love.
    a/b

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  14. Having left the place of my birth place in Yorkshire UK 40 years ago it's not without that pee-as-you-go feeling that I'm going to meet up with a former school mate. We were good mates in our teens but time and distance (and being of the male species) has resulted in no communication until recently. My only 'real' fear is whether we'll recognise each other! Great blog, grea writing! Steve Thompson

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  15. Thanks so much, Steve! I'd love to hear how this adventure goes...did you recognize each other? was it the same? how did it go?

    So exciting! Good luck!

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