Showing posts with label Jealousy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jealousy. Show all posts

Monday, July 11, 2011

Flirting And Jealousy (or Be Careful, You Might Poke An Eye Out)

Barbara: Before I write my post for today, just a quick catch-up on what's what. Yes, I was on vacay last week. I didn't advertise it like I did last time because, you know, they say you shouldn't make a big point of advertising that you’re not home because there are all these burglar types lurking the Internet looking for empty homes they can burglar. Really??? Anyway, if you're out there, burglars, we have a really good alarm system and usually use our trusty house/dog sitter. I did think I would be able to check in here at the blog throughout the week more than I did, but the Internet was really sketchy and downloading emails was excruciatingly slow. I decided I’d rather sip piña coladas than watch the “loading” icon twirl for endless minutes, so that's what I did. Besides Deb was so on it, and you guys were so AWESOME!!! What comments. What discussion. Thanks for being there (here).

Okay, so I'm writing this entry from the beach still (yesterday morning for you now) because we only arrive home late tonight (Sunday) and Deb still needs a chance to reply. And while there are a million wonderful things I could write about, the one topic that keeps swirling in my brain is the whole flirting on the beach thing. Now flirting on the beach probably happens a lot at resorts, but I only became hyper-aware of it this trip because my husband and I were traveling with our beautiful daughter and, well, you know the saying "like flies to honey".

The fun for me was that I could get to know some very wonderful local people while enjoying some overflow flirting myself. Me, running back to my husband: "He called me a very cute lady! He called me a very cute lady!" And while my husband was cool and calm in the face of my "exploits", it very suddenly occurred to me: if we were on an island and all the local women were hitting on him, I would not be cool and calm. I would be off that island so fast, Phil's hand firmly in mine, you could surf the waves in our wake.

I sooooo want to be that cool chick who waves stuff like that off because I'm so confident … but it didn't take much soul-searching to realize, I am most decidedly not.

Deb: It's funny the "flirt and be flirted with" thing. I am not a flirt. I was when I was younger. Loved the flirting. Now? No. I can be coy with the best of them, but let's face it, coy is hard to pull off after 30, so I have stretched it well past its due date. But I still do the "set flirt" which amounts to being charming and chatty on the set because it is part of the fun that gets you through. I have seen my husband as "set flirt" too and it is harmless and cute. But really flirting? No. This may sound old fashioned, but I would find it insulting to our marriage. Plus, being happily married and older, I don't have the maj flirt vibe in me anymore.

BUT. And this is a big but ... I am always shocked, flattered and amazed when I realize someone is flirting with me. Or when someone gives me a real compliment of the "you are sexy" variety. Makes my day, I won't lie to ya. I have had to over these last years endure women flirting with my husband all the time. I think it comes with the “famous” territory. I find it harmless and it never bugs me. Until a couple of weeks ago when we were at an event and a woman was blatantly coming on to him right in front of me. At first I couldn't believe it. Then when she persisted, I went all Laura Petrie on her ass and found a way to mention that we were married. Didn't phase her one bit. When she left I said to my husband, "Wow, that was rude. She was totally coming on to you right in front of me!" And he looked at me with that honest clueless look men get and said, "What? No! What?” Ahhh, the poor simple little darlings.

Barbara: That’s so true, Deb—Phil almost never gets a flirt when it’s coming his way. And just for the record—not for Deb because she knows me so well and for so long, but for anyone who might get the wrong impression: I did NOT reciprocate the flirting! No, no. I bypassed the flirting and ended up getting to know some really special people I might not otherwise have met. Who, ironically it turns out, are all looking for love. Really. Simply that: love.

Anyway, I’m a terrible flirt. Don't even remember how to do it. Yeah, the last time I flirted I ended up marrying the guy, so…