Lvoe, Barbars

Barbara: Tha’s hwo I sing my emials evry single time.

Friggin’ typos.

I know my way pretty well around the spelling, but there are words I typo every time. What teh hell? I’m all in the zone and writing my email, text, or Facebook message as fast as three fingers can possibly fly over a keyboard, and––since these formats don't auto-correct––I have to stop and go back 1000 times to fix teh same mistakes over and over. It’s buidling, not building. It’s not good, it’s god. Obvioulsy, not obviously. And friggin' teh teh teh!

And don’t get me started on the two words I maybe use most of all in my messages. “Love, Barbara” comes out every time as “lvoe, Barbars”. I may have even sent an email or dozen with this indecipherable sign-off. Maybe that’s why I stick with the untypo-able: xoxo (Although, real truth be told, I have typed xoxxo, or variations thereof—not the same issue, I know, but I aim for and like the symmetry of xoxo. So I even have to spell-check my acronyms and emoticons. Llo, *sihg*).

It’s exhausting! And why can I write “exhausting” without a slip of a key, but for teh lvoe of Barbars, can only ever get “beleive” on the first pass?!

It’s always soemthing…

DEb: it is so funny you should bring this up because I do many of these adding a few of my very own. I always have to correct lvoe and I also have caps in the middle of words. My fingers just want to. Wonerful isn’t it, how some wrods just end up with misSing letters and some end up with letters that wan’t to be soMewhere else? I worried about the fact that lvoe never comes out rigHt for me. I thought it was a weird thing, sOmething to fret about. So glad you lvoe to write lvoe the same way I lvoe to. KindEred spirits!

Lvoe, DEb

Grammar, I hardly knew her

Deb: I confess that my computer helps me with spelling and I also confess that sometimes I spell so badly, my computer doesn’t even recognize the word and has no options for me. At least these humiliating moments are between me and my Mac––and Mac keeps my hillbilly spelling in the vault.

But grammar-wise, I have a bee in my bonnet (2 N’s and 1 E): When did the word “anyway” become “anywayS”? When did the plural-ing of the innocent “anyway” become widely acceptable? Even my lawyer now says “So, anywayS....” ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH! WHY DOES THIS AFFECT ME LIKE A FORK SCRAPING A DISH???

Why are we accepting this laying/lying/? down? You may be one of many people out there who would respond with “Well, I could care less”! And if you do, why the hell are you saying “I could care less”? It’s “I COULDN’T care less” for the love of God! “I COULD care less means you actually DO CARE because you have stated that you COULD in fact care less! If you “couldn’t care less” it means you really, really DON’T care. Let’s solve the world’s problems by starting with grammar.

By the way, I spelled “grammar” with an “e,r” first. But Mac––bless him––set me straight.

Barbara: “Anyways.” Shudder for me too. (Although I do love using it through a character’s voice in my writing!) Apropos of language, you know what word I love that I never knew was an actual word till recently? “Whatnot.” How cute is that word? “Whatnot.” I’m just gonna keep saying it now: Whatnot, whatnot, whatnot …

Deb: Speaking of grammar and whatnot, why do we call lots of email “emails”? We do not refer to snail-mail as “mails”: “Got lots of mails today.” But we say “emails”. Bugs me. Can we stop it?

Barbara: Argh! I have caught myself not once but many times using “emails”––even after your very sensible plea. Even tried mid-sentence to change it to “email”, but then felt all wonky and slipped the “s” on at the end!!! I’ve been infected! Does this mean I have to start calling the stuff in my mailbox “mails”?

Oh, and if you like grammar, check out this site: Grammar Girl.