Sunday, October 23, 2011

London Diary, Day Seven: This Time It's Personal

Deb: I have a dear friend whom I have known since 1990 when I started with the Second City in Toronto. She was the producer of the theatre and therefore my boss, but we have over the years developed a wonderful friendship of love and trust. It was a road fraught with construction signs and detours given the status issues we needed to overcome, but we came to it, as humans often do, through adversity and the bond of something more.

The “more” was our struggle to become mothers. We wanted it so badly and we were united in the fact that we knew that neither of us could be truly happy until that happened. And it did. For her twice, and for me, once. We celebrated the birth of our babies knowing all too well that it could easily not have happened for either of us.

Today in London I was lucky enough to spend a full day with her eldest, the lovely Kaitlyn. Just a few years older than the boy, she works here doing a fabulous job that will help make her resume sing! The best part is, she loves both the job and London. We certainly share that view and we yakked about our London Love all the way in the cab like we were mooning over the latest boy band.

Our time together today was as the English say––brilliant. She came to a taping of Colin’s show  “Our Life In Your Hands” and said what any dutiful young woman would say, “Colin is the best.” Bless her wise little heart. I will not question Kaitlyn’s taste as she has clearly developed into a sage young woman!!!!

After the taping, she and I were off to a wonderful Indian restaurant for dinner. Colin had a second show to do but we blew it off in the name of hunger and thirst. We arrived at the restaurant. Let’s just say we talked. And talked. And laughed. And talked.

I remember her as a tot, toddler, young girl and lady, but tonight I had dinner with the woman. She is poised, charming, warm and is  perched on the brink of her very exciting life. Living it and dreaming it, all at the same time. I am happy and proud for her and I am so proud of my friend for what she and her husband have wrought.

I did not know what to expect. I wondered if we would be awkward given our history. I worried that it would be all question and answer by rote given the difference in our ages. But it was fun and I learned about her and from her. I hope she felt the same. I did not dare think it would be this lovely.

In the end it reminded me that each generation is exactly the same. We are thankful to our parents and the gifts that they give, and then we move on to make our own mark, our own mistakes. Afterwards we must stand alone to cheer our own triumphs. She and I talked about the fact that, although we all know we will turn into our parents, as we get older we lament it less and less. In fact sometimes we want it!  Wise words from a twenty-something. She has the world at her feet, this girl. And it reminded me that we all do. No matter our age or station or stage in life, we all do.
Kaitlyn and I wanted a photo before saying goodnight. We stopped a passerby who not only offered to take it, but moved us to a better light to try and make it nice for us. As he walked away, Kaitlyn said, "That's London!" Yep, it is!
This was a special night for me. Kaitlyn said to me as we hugged goodbye, “I needed to be Mothered tonight”. I am glad I could give her an eye-drop of mothering on behalf of my dear friend Sally who loves and misses her girl from across the pond. I will never forget this sweet little night. I hope Kaitlyn doesn’t either. 


  1. Oh, Deb, this was such a heartwarming post. Kaitlyn just seems like such a charming lovely young woman. This is one of the great pleasures of growing older for me, seeing these people we knew as children become independent amazing singular grownups. Seeing that trajectory of life just seems so miraculous. Truly. What a lovely Day Seven in every way.

  2. Awww!!! That is so sweet that you all got to meet up! Again, still can't wait for the new show. Looks like your first week in London has been magnificent!

    As for me, I'm off to bed. Good night all! :]

  3. Wonderful story Deb.

  4. Lovely pics and stories Ms Deb; I'm just catching up on the last few days. What a treat! Looking forward to your Montreal stories too, Ms Barb.

  5. That was really sweet to read. I bet Sally will be overjoyed to hear about the day from each of you. The three of you will take home special memories from today.

  6. Thanks everyone it was a sweet night. The thing I should have made clear was that although I saw her through the years I never knew her. She would be off here and there and it would be a quick hello. That's what made it so nice.

  7. Hi Deb. I've been following your blog for a long time now and I have enjoyed every single post from both you and Barb. This particular moment struck a cord with me.
    We have three daughters and one is already looking ahead to Paris. I hope someone I know will do the same thing for me as you have just done for Kaitlyn and her Mom.
    I have encouraged all of the women in my life to follow your blog. It's the first thing I look at every morning when I turn on my computer.

  8. What a terrific way to end a busy week. Now you both have a lovely memory to stay with you for a long time.

  9. So sweet, Deb!!!! Makes me so grateful for all the mother-figures in my life! :) So glad you are enjoying your London adventure (still wish I could be there).

    hugs from Kentucky! :)

  10. Aww Deb I am glad you all got to meet up. Meeting up with friends or old friends is just amazing . I am glad you all had a great time in a wonderful place.

  11. Thanks Lyndsie, it is certainly that!Holly you are right and I have had many Mother figures too. Sadly they are all gone now but gratefully my own Mum is still with me! We do indeed Mary-Jo. She sent a lovely thank you today. Debbie thanks, I think it's just lovely that it's the first thing you see in the morning. Thanks so much for tuning in Debbie.

  12. as a mom whose oldest is in England for three months, I am SO grateful to all the moms like you who are looking out for the kids across the pond......xo Lori


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