Wednesday, December 21, 2011

My Brain On Christmas

Barbara: This is my brain (or some variation thereof):

This is my brain on Christmas:

I know I blithely claimed a few weeks ago that after all these years of hosting Christmas I was accustomed enough to the whole to-do that I could “do it with my eyes closed”. And, yes, to a real extent this is true. All my lists are catalogued on the computer, shopping lists are at my fingertips, chores designed to flow one into the other. I know the recipes I will make so well, I won’t stress over them. I have a good enough track record hosting that if things go awry, I will let it roll off my back (short of getting sick or hurt—that’s always a bummer. Thinking of you, Lyndsie!!). And still, STILL, I truly feel that kaleidoscope brain coming on. As if my mind wants to go in a million different places—half dreamy sugar-plum wonderland places, half soldier-rigid endless-prism places.

I pride myself on my follow-through. Mostly because I’m pretty good at it. And you wanna know why? Because I do stuff right away. A task comes down the pipeline, a dream demands attention, and I deal with it. Because the truth is, if I don’t deal with it right away, I will forget. Guaranteed. (One of the problems with smart-phones is that I can receive and read an email early in the day but won’t be able to deal with it until later in the day, and so the risk gets upped of me ruining my follow-through track record. Morning email is easy to forget by end of day.)

But this dreamy/manic state I’m in right now undermines my best efforts at effortless control. I’m forgetting to go places, call people back, return emails. It’s not the end of the world. It’s just a bit disorienting. I’m going to rest on my past laurels and decide to let it roll off my back. After all, the holidays will pass, real life will kick back in, and I will slowly ratchet up back to my normal organized self.

For now, I’m going to keep changing the kaleidoscope image and admire its pretty colours. Maybe while I’m eating another chocolate square.

Deb: Dear Barbara,
                 I have really enjoyed reading this post ... who are you again?
                                        Love, Deb xo


  1. I loved this post !!!!! Your Christmas brain looks really pretty :) I am admiring it eating a chocolate right now :D
    Its weird i was gonna ask you today... if you got my email or not :P.....Ive been having problems with my account... sometimes the mails just dont go....i mean its weird... they are noted in my sent items....
    And I read the comments about Lyndsie's Accident...How is she ???? Did you hear from her ???

  2. Your Christmas brain is beautiful Barb!!!Merry Christmas!!!!

  3. My big dinner for Hanukkah went off with out a hitch unless you count that when everyone left and all was cleaned up I got a vicious stomach flu. Fortunately I made it to the bathroom every time unlike my grandson who couldn't wait until he left my bed and after 4 heavings he decided he would feel more comfortable in his own room so I walked him home at 1:30am. Did all the bedding and went about preparing my house for last night. I wasn't angry all day and now I know why. My body was trying to tell me don't eat as it is all coming up tonight as as this morning. Happy Holidays from my achy body who will be in bed all day trying to sleep.

  4. Is THAT how to deal with no memory? Man, stuff in my life falls through the cracks. Then again, I don't even have organization or a system. Your nice caleidoscope is a pretty pattern. Mine would look more like a Jackson Polluck painting. (you will do it all, as always!)

  5. I feel like my brain looks like that 24/7/365! I always feel like I'm forgetting something; sometimes I am and sometimes I'm not. I tend to like making lists; I make lists for shopping, for things that I need to get done, for books I want to read, for assignments that I need to get done, etc... I have post'it notes next to me at all times just in case I think of something!

    It's funny because I actually feel a little less stressed and I feel like I have less to get done during the holidays. I still have a lot to do, but I enjoy most of it (I do get to the point where I just want to scream when finishing Christmas shopping, though). The holidays give me a chance to breathe, to relfect, and to enjoy my life a little more than I usually am able to do during the rest of the year.

  6. Shalaka! I sent you an email -- did you not get it?? Not sure if Deb had a chance to look at your email and pics, but I did on the weekend. I was FLOORED!!! You have such amazing talent!! Please let me know if you got that note or not.

    Mary-Jo, thanks, darling!

    Hart, you have humbled me with how much you balance, so I would refute your JP statement!

    Steph, I think that's exactly why I have Christmas brain -- because I'm anticipating the big relax and de-stress time. But a little ahead of schedule!

  7. I love this post. But Deb's response wins. :) <3

  8. Madge!! That sucks! Take care of yourself and get better!! sending love xoxo

  9. My brain looks like that most of the time, and especially so around confusing, rush-rush times like the holiday season. I'm learning how to manage it, and easy take-a-minute-to-breathe moments, but it's those lessons I sometimes forget. It also took me 3 days to figure out where I put one of my daughter's Pandora charms, and I STILL cannot locate a C/B ticket for a show in Providence, RI. (I wish Ticketmaster would allow will-call.)

    I've learned that I can't make lists, because I get too overwhelmed by ALL the stuff I need to do. I've started using post-it notes instead. I feel better as my computer screen starts to reappear. :)

    Barb, I'm glad you're learning the concept of "This too shall pass." That's a tough one to learn, and I wish you continued success. And maybe a little more memory. I wonder if Mac sell more memory for humans...

    Deb, perfect response. :)

  10. Barbara -

    Just keep repeating the immortal words of Rowan Atkinson:

    "Bibble bibble bibble."

  11. Madge! :( Ewwwww! *hugs* *hands you bottle of ginger ale, baskets of fluffy, clean, warm-from-the-dryer laundry, and comfy, snuggly socks*

    Lyndsie? How's it going? Are you functional, yet? *worries*

  12. Okay I am going to apologize in advance for freaking / grossing anyone out with this……sorry.

    I tend not to be grossed out by things so I will do my best to keep it light.
    But when I read this post I remembered my one class dissection in human anatomy class. I will spare the details for you all. Basically behind every eye, be it human or animal, there is a natural rainbow that the light bounces off of behind your retina. It is a thin layer of tissue that looks shiny but it has a clear rainbow effect on the tissue. Every species has their own unique color range too. Humans are redish orange. The one we had was bluish green from a cow. Despite how gross this may sound it is really something neat and very unexpected to see.
    Ok now why this ties in … that day during class suprised me how we all carry around a rainbow with us everywhere. I don't blame many of you reading this, if you got this far, may be saying “ewwwww” to me right now for discussing the insides of things, but there is that hidden beauty there that not many people see.
    Kind of like how you view your brain as a giant kaleidoscope, our eyes really do have a sort of rainbow and kaleidoscope effect built right in! We all just keep our colors on the inside, be it in our brain or eyes.
    Once again sorry if this seemed gross among our cheery holiday topics. But it really is something neat to be able to see. And it changes you when you see the beauty hidden within ourselves. We all have that inner rainbow and kaleidoscope hidden within!
    On an unrelated topic to all of that, please feel better Madge and Lyndsie! Take this time to relax and heal.
    -Kelly from NJ-

  13. That's strange...because I feel exactly the same way!
    My head wants to explode.
    I still have a lot of things to do/finish (like the christmas presents for my parents), and at the moment I don't know if I can do all the stuff until Saturday. I don't feel prepared at all. I'm not ready!

    And I keep repeating everything every few minutes like a mantra, because I also know that I WILL forget something. I know that.

    I try to be as confident as you are.

    I can do it. Somehow.

    To Lyndsie and Madge:
    Get well, soon! *hugs*

  14. Your Christmas brain is my brain ALL THE TIME! baah!! :D

    I love you ladies and this blog...brings a smile to my face!

  15. Dawn, thank you. I love how we keep reminding each other :)

    Rigel: yes! perfect mantra (for a smile)

    Kelly from NJ: Oh my god! this is absolutely fascinating!! I had no idea. And, like you, I find this not gross, but wonderfully beautiful.

    Becki: buddy-oh, we shall get there!!

    Holly: thanks. You bring a smile to MY face :)!

  16. Barb, you're talking about my brain. Who needs Christmas to make it go all loopy? :) There are days I wonder what my name is. I've honestly lost track of the days. I thought today was Tuesday. This past Saturday, I thought it was Sunday.

    My theme right now is, "Fire bad. Tree pretty." (as quoted from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" last episode of Season 3). My brain is maxed out for processing.

  17. Hey all. Been skimming the other posts. Haven't been able to post due to crappy internet at home; now in a hotel enjoying some time away from home with sis and best friend.

    I love this post. :] Keep the blog a-coming!

  18. Hi all, ok today has been weird I had to go back to emergency room because of my knee. And back . I don't have to have surgery but rehab in it. Thanks for all the good wishes. Don't worry, I'm ok i'll live.

    Sorry all that was off subject but I wanted to tell those of you who were asking. Love the post . I'm kinds like everyone else. My brain is gone like the wind.

  19. Oh and smething else xoxo to all of you for the good wishes and thoughts. Love you all

  20. I dissected a cow eye of my own in high school, and you've described it to a 'T.' I've also dissected a human eyeball and have seen those colors as well. The eye is a fascinating piece of anatomy.

    Kelly, I love that you were able to remember those colors and attach such beauty to them. Wonder what I'll think of next time I see a cow? (At a petting farm, people, not the meat case!)

  21. Jo, excellent nutshell! And Lyndsie, so relieved to hear from you today. Sorry you had to go back to hospital today. Take care and sending you lots of love!!

    Kelly, sucks about the internet access, but always glad when you check in here! And Dawn, interesting, this eye thing. I will never think of eyes the same way.

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  23. Hey Lyndsie... Its great to know you are feeling better... i am sending love and healing thoughts !!!! And i am sure you will be fine really soon xoxo

  24. I think I've been watching too many zombie movies because my tummy growled when I saw your brain. :)

  25. Oh my god, Karen, forgot to tell you how much this made me laugh!!


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