Wednesday, February 22, 2012

My 28-Year Lesson

Barbara: Remember the other day when I wrote about quantum steps and how I noticed that, after lots of frustrating and seemingly futile attempts to learn something, I will learn it “suddenly”? Well, welcome to my world of skiing.

I’ve told you before that I am not an athletic person. I wish I were. I love sports, love watching them, love playing them. But I am useless at doing them. The only thing that keeps me “in the game” is my utter child-like embrace of play and my middle-aged don’t-give-a-fuck-that-I-suck attitude. But that doesn’t stop the looooonging from welling up deep inside me to have the game click in, to feel the natural rhythm of it.

Phil introduced me to skiing when I was 16. I loved it from the first hit of fresh, cold air to the last minutes of aching muscles and wind-burned cheeks. But I SUCKED. We skied pretty much every winter since then, and while I did get better and better, the rhythm, the ease, the flow, just refused to penetrate my musculature. It was all jolting turns and tense body parts.

Until 4 years ago—suddenly, I got it! The longest overnight breakthrough in history! Suddenly I knew how to shift my weight, lean to each side, carve my skis as if I’d been … doing it all my life. So my first thought for you today is: It may take a long time, but if I can do it, you too can learn some foreign thing if you a) love it and b) keep at it.
Skiing in Panoram, B.C., 2008: the year I "got" it.
My second thought is that learning to ski is a lot like learning to live well—and I’m going to share my hard-won lessons with you:

Skiing Lessons as Life Lessons
1. Breathe.
2. Relax into it. If you don’t, you’re likely to suffer unnecessary pain. Or pass out.
3. Stay in the “now”. If your mind is somewhere else, you could hit an unexpected bump and go flying.
4. Sometimes you will hit a bump and go flying. It hurts on impact, but maybe next time you’ll remember to breathe and relax into it.
5. It was from learning to ski the bumps (aka moguls) that I became a good skier.
6. You might be skiing with friends, family, or a team, and you will definitely need to be respectful of other skiers on the hill, but the bottom line is, you can only ski for yourself.
7. There’s no better reminder of the two scales of the world around you than when you’re skiing: there’s the stuff that’s right in front of you that will determine whether you stay on your feet or land on your ass, and then there’s the larger glorious world around that—in the case of skiing, it’s pure snow, flecked trees, mountainous terrain, maybe even a breathtaking vista. You want to respect both views without unduly favouring one or the other.
8. And remember to stop and sip the chai latte. There’s nothing like giving yourself a break every once and a while. Your muscles might be a bit tight when you get back to it, but you won’t regret the breather.

And now I leave you with these thoughts to mull over while I hit the slopes—the hills beckon. I’ll check in later, maybe over a chai latte (or gin-tonic, depending on the time of day :-) ).

Deb: Barb, this is so true. Every word you say. What a sweet perfect analogy. I am going skating today and will keep that in mind and my “stop and sip the latte” will be pancakes and syrup for Shrove Tuesday!

50 comments:

  1. Wonderfully said,, Barb! Skiing is something I have never tried, but sounds exciting and fun! I've tried roller-skating and...well...that did not end well for me, so I kind of gave that up quickly. I have also had those experiences of "just getting it" all of a sudden. For me it was most recently scansion (which has to do with counting syllables, meter, feet. Working with Shakespeare in particular. Iambic pentameter, etc.).It literally took me a year to get this and when I did it was an "A-HA" moment. It all makes sense now. How did I not get this before? Ugh.
    The analogy is perfect for life. Really. I agree, you have to see both worlds at the same time and try to understand them, and yourself, all at once, which can be difficult but well worth it in the long run.
    Well, I hope you two have fun skiing and ice skating while I take a massive test today! Oh joy!(sarcasm).
    ;)

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    1. Ooh, scansion would be something I'd quite like to "get", Steph, so I envy you that. As for the roller-skating, my older daughter used to pine to be in the derby (yes, she of the fashion design leanings!). Good luck on your massive test today!! (PS: breathe)

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    2. Thanks for the luck. I am trying to remember the whole needing to breathe thing while I'm preparing for the test.
      (Breathe)
      The whole scansion thing is relatively easy once you "get it." You know, one of the reasons I decided to study English/Literature was because I absolutely cannot stand math, yet, in my opinion, scansion has a bit too much to do with math. Figuring out which syllables are stressed and which ones are unstressed is not that difficult,especially if the author typically uses a certain type of meter (Shakespeare liked iambic pentameter, for instance, although he often deviated from this pattern for effect.) Knowing what penta-(pentameter),di-(dimeter),etc. all mean has to do with numbers. And trying to remember that the First Folio was published in that year and the Second in this year and so on... I mean, I love, really LOVE, Literature, but all those numbers!!!
      (Breathe)
      Oh well, I guess I will just deal with the numbers. I am a Shakespeare fan (can you tell at all?!?) so working with these few numbers isn't that much of a pain. Just trying to remember which play came before which is a bit of a pain. The sonnets are easy to remember since they are numbered! :)
      (Breathe)
      When I was a kid, I loved basketball and I was not terrible at it, especially since I am a lefty, which always gave me a hand up on the competition. (pun intended). Of course, now I rarely play and when I do I make sure that no one is watching because I will mess up, miss an easy shot. I was always like that though, missing the free throws, I could hit the threes but those free throws... oh well, not planning to go pro...yet.
      Now, time to get back to studying all that history...

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    3. This sounds like my kind of math -- so I love that! Good luck on your test. xo

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    4. The test is over!!!The test is over!!! *falls down in exhaustion*

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  2. I forgot to say, lovely pics! And the sarcasm only applied to "oh joy" not anything else in my comment. Didn't want any miscommunication. Have a wonderful day! Xoxo

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  3. Man..I am so jealous of you both....Congrats to you btw...(loved your Victorious smile in the pix...cute :D)....Ive always wanted to ski and skate.....but where am I gonna do that ??..And drinking Chai latte.....I just MADE some Chai latte...or what we call it 'Masala Tea'..(Well thats one down)...you guys have snow..you have snoooowwwww :(.....we have loads and loads of SUN...and snow-cones..sometimes..if we are lucky..and dont let it melt..!!!!!!! Man I swear to god...I am planning to move to Canada and When I do.....I am gonna ski and skate...even if I suck at it.....But after knowing this...I'll ask you to teach me how to ski :D (and ask Deb to teach me skating....Hey Deb...Love you :P)!!! LOL jk !!

    You are so right Barb..What always keeps me in the game is that I dont give a damn..and also I really really KNOW that I SUCK.....its like Phoebe's run from friends.....She knows its weird but she doesn't give a damn !
    You are so right about something that clicks in suddenly !! Ive had those moments....you keep lovin' it....someday it HAS to love you back ;)
    Love xoxo

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    1. Yes! The Phoebe run -- that's me!!! Thanks, Shalaka. And just as you dream of one day being in the cold, I dream of one day living in the sun, so maybe we'll cross paths ;) But I do love my skiing, and won't be giving that up any time soon. xoxo

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    2. So great to talk to you again...I really missed ya :D !!

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  4. That quantum learning thing is SO TRUE. It's so strange how things can suddenly fall into place. it's like we need to learn all the pieces and then when they're ready, they just fall into place.

    I'm a former skier--haven't had the money for it for several years, but I think I got good by letting go of all thought--I had to keep up with step-brothers who were NUTS and there is no way to keep up and think at the same time. So you are right about the relaxing piece. I have to do that in my writing life, too. If I think too much, I lose my momentum.

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    1. Oh, yeah, Hart, another great analogy to "letting go of thought and being in the now": writing! So much better and more exciting to be in the flow (and, oddly, safer...)

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  5. I love those a-ha moments it's why I keep trying new things even if I suck at them. There's something to be said for trying something new and having it click right away as well. I cross-country ski but haven't gone downhill skiing in ages and even then we're talking about Manitobas version of downhill, bunnyhill all the way!

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    1. And why not, Erin? Nothing wrong with a bunny hill. Cross country is something I've never really tried, but it looks so impressive.

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    2. I've never thought of cross-country as impressive, I've been doing it since I was 4 years old so to me it seems as simple as going for a walk. Ahh I miss that my grandma is the one I used to go with in my childhood.

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    3. The effort is what I find impressive. Seems like the hardest sport...

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  6. Sounds like great,lessons for life barb. And its true,my grandfather would always teach me this lesson, if at first you dont get it,try try again.

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    1. Another beautiful memento of your grandfather's loving wisdom, Lyndsie, xoxo

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    2. You are so right, Lyndsie. "If at first you don't get it, try try again." I think sometimes people go with the saying "If at first you don't get it, screw it." I know I have thought this about some things (math, science, golf( tried it once and I jsut did not enjoy it, although I suspect that the person I was with made it unejoyable rather than the sport itself. No offense to anyone who enjoys the sport, but is it just me or is golf a bit like baseball, just standing a bit differently and a slightly smaller target?))
      My grandmother said a lot of that kind of stuff, you CAN do it, just try. It doesn't matter how well you do something, at least you tried. Since I started college a couple years ago, I have tried a lot of new things (nothing bad, I promise) and I have learned a lot from my experiences.

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  7. o wow . how cool is that . i would love to have a go at skiing , if large sized people can ski . never had a chance though . i live in the wrong country . we don;t have the right size of hills and apart from winter 2010 we don;t get that much snow either . when i was a kid there was a dry ski slope in killternan but i am not sure if it is still there .

    i remember watching a sport called moguling in the winter Olympics a few years ago . it is like skiing but they go over the bumps on purpose !

    barbara while reading your life lessons from skiing i thought up a couple of my own . i hope they apply like yours do .
    1: we all have to start on the nursery slopes no matter if our friends are on slopes for the more experienced skier . we will get out on the bigger slopes as e get more experience of skiing .
    2: if you fall , as everyone will from time to time , get up , dust yourself down, laugh and try again . no harm in the occasional dent to the pride ! ( as long as it is only your pride that has been dented !)

    now i have to run as mom and i will be arguing over why i haven't gone to the supermarket yet ! it is 16-30 here
    cheers !

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    1. Linda, people of all shapes and sizes ski (in fact, a whole group of paraplegic athletes was on the slopes today... making us all look like we were standing still...)

      I LOVE your ski lessons. Yes, yes, yes! (and I hope your mom didn't get mad at you :) )

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    2. no mom did'nt get mad . i lashed out to the supermarket as soon as i finished the message . as long as i went before dinner mom was OK with it .

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  8. I tried skiing only two times. My happiest moment was going to the lodge, soaking in a hot tub and drinking. I will try other things but never again to ski. But I did like your posting but if I have to wait 28 more years I will be 91, don't think it will happen for skiing. Or anything else for that matter. I have to do things faster than on a 28 year cycle anymore.:)

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    1. lol! true Madge, there does come an age, right? That said, it's more about doing it because you love it, not because you neeeeeeed to. But PS apres-ski is definitely an excellent part of the day!

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  9. Barb, you look so happy in your pictures! I believe that's a big part of any aHA moment: How much you're enjoying it. It does make it easier. (Which is why math is not and never will be my "thing.")

    I've never tried skiing. I had the chance in college, but just never did it. I have water-skied. It wasn't a marathon ride by any means, but I got up all three times I tried and had a TON of fun. I wouldn't be able to do that nowadays because my rotator cuffs aren't happy anymore. But I'm glad I did it. What a rush..

    Here's my life lesson to add:

    Just because you haven't doesn't mean you can't.

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    1. Excellent life-addition, Dawn, as always.

      I tried water-skiing a few times and a) I SUCKED and b) I didn't much like it, so that sport didn't get very far with me!

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  10. Sounds great. You really reached the next step/level...

    I once went skiing with my class in 1996.
    I really wanted to learn skiing, but in the end I didn't.
    Our teachers tried to give us lessons. Well, mine wasn't that good.
    At least I managed the "nursery slopes" (or as we call it: Idiotenhügel - and let me say that: nursery slope is a nicer term :P).

    After one day (hello?), I was put into the advanced skier group. And failed. Obviously. I fell down the hills...ended up sitting in the snow and crying my eyes out. My teacher was really confused. :D

    I prefer to go sledging. Love that! Because I love snow very much. Unfortunately, we didn't have any this winter...last year we had tons of it, and I loved it.

    It's sad that I've given up, but I'm not very keen on skiing anymore.

    Same goes for skating. I know how to do it, but I can't do it, because my feet start hurting as soon as I put the skates on. Don't know what's wrong with them...

    But it's really cool that you learned it! :)

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    1. Thanks, Becki! And by the way, I looked at your gymnastics video on the other post and you are amazing!! So flexible. So there's something else you obviously enjoy and are good at. And your bunnies????! Soooo sweet.

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    2. Awww, thank you so much!
      I'm not very flexible...but I keep on trying! Most important thing. Never give up. And do what you like. Life is too short to complain about the things you didn't do. :)

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  11. BAAAH...two tests today....yuck. @__@

    I think this can apply to every day life! That's what I love about this blog; even if it's something simple such as yesterday's dancing post, there is always something about it that I enjoy/can relate to. Though I must admit I am not a skier nor will I ever be....lots of compelling reasons to not do so.

    I'm with Becki; I definitely prefer sledding! Lots of great sled hills on campus :D Too bad there hasn't been enough snow.

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    1. I don't think tons of people will relate to the skiing part, but I think we all know that thing that just makes us feel so good and that we want to keep at. My husband picked up his guitar after yeeeeears of not playing and fell in love with it again. It's knowing when (and when not).

      Good luck on your tests!!

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    2. Ah...we didn't have enough snow, either...there are some hills just down the road. :/

      How were your tests?

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  12. Skiing seems insanely difficult to me, and I'm not just saying that because I can barely manage to walk most dance, or because I am hysterically tragic at any physical activity besides dancing. So kudos to you for sticking with it long enough to truly be good at it!!

    I like your skiing metaphor for life. I think I have the most trouble focusing on balancing the present and the future. I'm usually either too In the Moment to think about the future, or too obsessed with the future and preparing for it to enjoy the present. It's hard for me to balance and appreciate both at the same time!

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    1. Actually, emmysuh, to tell you the truth, I can't quite believe that I can ski!! It does seem insanely...insane!

      As for the balance thing: I really believe that the best state is the one "in the moment". Your future will come out of the choices you make now ... because they're the right choices for you now. You know what I mean??? Good luck!

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  13. Hi all, Just weighing in for Barb here. I told her I would monitor the comments today but as it turns out that I have had a crazy day filled with unexpected crisis. Little fires here and there, nothing serious. I have had time to read a few comments and I love how everyone whether skiers or not, are relating to Barb's great life metaphor!

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    1. Don't apologize.
      Hope you're all right! Take care! :)

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    2. Deb, I hope all is well. "Little fires"? Oh my. Take care, girly.

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    3. hi deb . having had a few unexpected crisis myself in the last month or so i can sympathize . i hope they all get sorted out . take care .

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    4. Thanks, Deb, for filling in for me today. You know I love you!!!

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  14. Wow Barb I'm impressed my 8 yr old nephew is learning to snowboard now after taking skiing lessons for a couple years. It's something I always wished I had learned. However you have inspired me to do something I have not done in years. I grew up on a horse farm but have made excuses to not ride but as soon as it warms up this spring I'm going to saddle up again just like the old days! The only thing that is stopping me from doing something I love is me. Thank you Barb and have fun!

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    1. Oh, yes, Mary, do that!! (that's also one of my secret dreams, fyi). And btw, Mary-Jo (who I almost mistook you for until I looked at your pic and then noticed the lack of "Jo") is an avid rider. She just got a horse named Red! Jealous much???

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  15. You just let me know if you are ever in the Upstate NY area Barb, we have four and half horses and 12 acres!

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    1. Which half of the horse do you have? ;)

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    2. Thanks, Mary! (PS must add my ??? to Dawn's :) )

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    3. We have a little miniature horse her name is Sprite. Everyone thinks she is named after the soda but when she was a baby she reminded me of the cute little fairies. The other four are full sized horses though. :D

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  16. Re: aHA

    The method of "getting up" in water-skiing is to let the rope pull you up, not for you to tug yourself up. That little technique makes all the difference. Zig vs. Zag, if you will. And it's always the little things that make the most difference.

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    1. ....it might be in my terror of drowning wherein I find myself less than beloved...

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  17. Bwaahh, I don't ski (or really, partake in anything that has me falling down, in the words of my mom), but I LOVE how the life lessons can relate to that!!!

    Perhaps we should all make our own life lessons list relating to something we're interested in! :)

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